September 14

5:40 pm

Jinxi had run after Minyook when he realized his mistake. He didn't want to hurt Minyook, but he did just that, unknowingly.

The boy had, like a street cat, made himself feel at home with Jinxi gratuitously, and now Jinxi was too attached to let him go again.

With no luck finding Minyook, Jinxi was Sweaty and exhausted when he returned. He noticed Haemin's anxious form in front of his room and ran straight into his arms.

He let out a staggered breath when he felt his hair being caressed with steady hands, finally, he let his guard down.

"I messed up, Minie," Jinxi shut his eyes tight, shivering with anxiousness he continued, "I drove him away. I messed up again. I don't deserve anything. Not even the friendships given to me. I don't deserve it. I really don't."

Haemin was quiet as he guided Jinxi back to his room and settled him on the couch. He picked up a wet rug to clean Jinxi's paint-stained face.

He strongly disagreed. If anything, he himself was the bigger loser. He didn't even try fighting for his dreams.

While Jinxi was a warrior, he was a quitter.

"Whether you deserve it or not is not for you to decide, Jinxi," Haemin said, monotonously working on a particularly stubborn stain on his forehead.

How could he not see his worth?

He had never seen Jinxi so weak, and it upset him.

"You don't get it Haemin," Jinxi said, grabbing Haemin's hand to get his attention.

"I had everything," Jinxi burst out in irritation. He did have everything. Friends, security, love and most of all, a Family. If only he had not been selfish in the way he chose to live his life.

He noticed Haemin's stern gaze and his frustration melted into defeated sorrow, "If only I had listened, I wouldn't be so alone. I lost everything thanks to my stupid, selfishness."

Haemin sighed and his eyes softened when he saw Jinxi so vulnerable. Somehow Hoesok felt ashamed. He had put Jinxi on a high pedestal, automatically assuming that the boy was perfect.

If only not, he would've been able to help Jinxi sooner.

Right then, Haemin had discovered another part of Jinxi. A Jinxi who treasured love so much that even though he craved it dearly, he was terrified of even the possibilities it brought. Feared the rejections and abandonment that could even make a parent feel like a stranger.

"You have lost nothing that can't be gained back, Jinxi," Haemin said, cupping his cheeks and guiding Jinxi to face him.

Staring into his eyes, Haemin saw a Jinxi who had flaws.

He smiled, "Don't ever regret fighting for what you love."

Strangely, Haemin was relieved to have uncovered this side of Jinxi. Jinxi was someone like him, scared and unsure of himself and his future. It helped him understand Jinxi better. It felt like he could finally help Jinxi.

"What Love? Wasn't I just being utterly selfish?" Jinxi leaned into Haemin's touch, his voice barely audible.

He hopelessly clung to Haemin's words. Praying for whatever Haemin said to be right, that he was not completely useless and alone.

"I wouldn't call it selfish. It was a choice that you made because you had to at that time. When the circumstances change, you will get back what you lost," Haemin said, bumping his forehead against Jinxi's.

He grinned with relief; Jinxi seemed a lot closer now. He could dare to reach out to Jinxi. He was not someone perfect and way out of his league.

Haemin was right. Jinxi did what he had done for his first love; his dreams. This way He wouldn't lose even if he lost everything he had.

"You have us, you have me," Haemin closed his eyes, nuzzling Jinxi's temples, "And that's not going to change just because you think that you don't deserve it."

He patted the soft blond hair and found that he could stay like this forever.

Jinxi opened his blissfully closed eyes at that and said, "So, we aren't very different after all."

Haemin hummed, questioning what he meant.

"You fought for what you love too."

"My love?" Haemin didn't understand, he looked at Jinxi with confusion.

He gave up his dreams, how can Jinxi say that he fought for his love?

"You gave up your dream, for your love, your family."

That was when Haemin knew that he wasn't so bad after all either. Haemin chuckled at that and kissed Jinxi's nose, "I guess even with a change of preference, love is all the same."

Haemin and Jinxi were like an art painted by the same artist, and they hadn't realized that until now. So different yet so similar at the same time. Both loved with their all, gave their all to the things they loved. Both of them suffered in the process, yet they hid their suffering and walked forward with strength. The strength their Love had graciously given them.

They truly found each other and themselves on that day. None was lesser than the other, none was better than the other, but it was okay.

Love came in all sorts of forms, and every form was equally grand. Every form only pushed them higher.