Late one summer afternoon, the largest gang fight in Chook’s Creek’s history occurred. At the same exact time, lightyears away on the magical fish homeworld, “Siren”, the largest planetary invasion in the history of the galaxy also occurred.

Smarties arrived en masse. Billions of spaceships and soldiers were brought to bear against the dreaded magic fish. The ensuing battle spanned over the entire planet’s surface and extended up into space surrounding the planet.

Lasers from countless sources lit up the darkness as a fish the size of a moon swam through zero gravity as if in water. It ploughed through enemy spaceships like they weren’t even there, leaving a trail of twisted debris in its wake. This was the usually tiny World Fish, who had used the time granted to the fish by Destiny and Time Fish’s early warning to repeatedly cast [Grow] on himself.

Behind him, two other fish followed.

Any spaceship that managed to narrowly avoid World Fish found itself suddenly pulled off course and sent crashing into a second titan-fish that was slowly growing behind the first. Metal Fish, empowered by [Magnetise], dragged her enemies towards her. She absorbed the metal both from the ships that dashed against her body and from the debris left behind World Fish, adding their mass to her own.

Kinetic fish zipped between laser blasts and gently touched a large gathering of non-metal debris, casting [Away]. It launched the debris at extreme speeds outwards in a spread like a shotgun blast. Due to the sheer number of her enemies, she didn’t need to aim. Each debris volley tore enormous holes into hulls and caused widespread destruction.

Despite the efforts of these three, the enemy kept coming. Hundreds of lasers pierced both World and Metal Fish’s bodies. They accumulated numerous small wounds, but their enormity protected them for the time being. Even with her much smaller size and extreme speed, Kinetic Fish took several laser blasts as well. They continued their fight regardless.

Far away, out of harm’s way, for now, two others swam deep in space. Divination Fish looked deeply into the glowy thing on her head, going cross-eyed in the process. She found what she was looking for within the light and turned to her companion, “Raise 15.3554°; Starboard 2.1115°, 3.41 seconds.”

Laser Fish’s [Laser Sense] allowed her to make adjustments to her aim according to the coordinates provided with perfect accuracy and wait for the precise time. From her pointed wand, a magic laser fired off into the dark. A million kilometres away, a spacecraft that held an important communication array exploded in laser fire.

“That’s a hit,” Divination confirmed, “next target is…” They then repeated their combination and fired another laser off a few moments later. This time killing a Smarty general standing on the surface of Siren.

Like clockwork, they shot again and again, with each laser taking out a critical target. It felt like drops in the ocean, but they never let up. Their allies on Siren needed them.

On the surface, things were completely chaotic.

“Yes! Go! Kill more!” DNA Jellyfish whipped his tendrils into the flank of a mutated monster cow. It cried out in pain and rushed to obey, seeking out Smarties to ram its dozens of horns into. Hundreds of similarly mutated animals joined its hunt.

“Hee hee hee Yeeeeaaaaah! You heard him waspies! KIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!” Pain Fish sent a buzz of pain through his wasp hives to keep them furious. They swarmed alongside the mutants.

“Hey fellas, I hope this isn’t too much to ask, but could you guys go help the others kill those Smarty buttheads?” Yeti Fish politely asked a gathering of trolls, bigfeet, ogres and even a few yowies. The crowd of monsters blushed and cheered at being addressed directly by their idol and quickly went to work.

The armies of Wasps, yetis and mutated horrors swam, marched and slithered towards Smarty frontlines. Most were torn apart by the ceaseless laser fire. Those that did reach the enemy, however, showed no mercy. They ripped through metal and flesh with enhanced teeth and claws like wet paper.

“The Trinity”, Yeti Fish, Pain Fish, And DNA Jellyfish, were holding back the tide of Smarties as best they could. Their ability to spawn and direct such monsters was proving invaluable and slowing the enemy's advance. But it wasn’t always enough.

A veteran regiment of Smarties was proving to be too much for the creatures to handle. Their expert coordination and overwhelming firepower disallowing any monster from getting close enough to attack. They advanced quickly and racked up hundreds of kills. Which proved to be a mistake as it brought attention down on them.

A tiny portal swirled open in the middle of their ranks. From it a sweet [Lullaby] came through, “🎵Close your eyes, little fish, rest your fins, down in the deep🎵.”

Smarties panicked as they searched for the source of the music. Their eyelids grew heavy and their movements slowed. One by one they began to fall, no longer able to stay awake. Loud snores poured out the mouths of the sleeping vets.

The portal widened and through it swum Music Fish and Dream Fish. Music Fish kept singing his lullaby as Dream Fish cast his spell, “ETERNAL DREAMS!” The spell covered the field of sleeping soldiers and now they would stay asleep, permanently.

“Guys, I gotta move some monsters for the trinity. Can I leave you here a bit?” Gate Fish called out from the portal.

“That's fine… maybe?” Dream fish blinked his unfocused eyes towards Music Fish for confirmation.

“🎵Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhtttttttt🎵” Sang Music.

Gate nodded, “Cool, good luck guys” his portal closed behind him after he left.

Minutes later, lasers began raining down on the pair from a squadron of laser jets.

“🎵Let’s go!🎵” sang Music Fish, grabbing Dream by the fin and fleeing.

Elsewhere, dozens of Smarty tanks fired upon a different pair of fish, “UP” Sky Starfish gestured the magic words. The tanks lifted off of the ground into the air.

“Down” Gravity Fish Spoke his magic words. The tanks came crashing down and were crushed into metal pancakes. Both he and Sky Starfish had taken several laser blasts in the exchange, “I need a break,” Gravity gasped.

Lasers flew over the horizon and slammed into a hastily formed shield bubble formed by Sky Starfish. She spun in a circle and wriggled her arms to communicate her condolences over Gravity Fish’s inability to rest.

“It’s fine, Sky. Let’s go crush ‘em.” grunted Gravity Fish, raising a bubble of his own as they swam towards the new enemy.

In an underwater command post on the other side of the planet, a soldier frowned. He turned to his ally next to him, “You know what? This isn’t right. I am easily the smartest guy here. But my talents are being wasted on guard duty!” He raised his laser, pointed it at his comrade and shot him.

A moment of shocked silence passed after the soldier slumped down dead. The shooter shook his head and looked around surprised, “FISH ATTACK! ACTIVATE YOUR SCANNERS!”

Narcissist Fish cursed, “Only one?! I told you to take it easy! You weren’t subtle enough in invading his mind!” He turned spitefully to admonish Mental Fish more. But she wasn’t by his side anymore. She was already swimming away as fast as her fins would take her, “Hey! I’m talking to you! Where are you going?”

A laser burned into his scales from behind. He turned to face his attacker and received three more lasers, “How dare you! I’m talking here!” he shouted at his attackers. Dozens of soldiers converged on him from the command post. He screamed and unleashed deadly narcissistic magic as lasers ripped into his flesh.

A full minute of concentrated fire later, Narcissist Fish fell to the ground dead. Narcissistic magic became unstable and exploded out from his body across the galaxy. 1 in every 1000 narcissists’ heads exploded as a result.

Mental Fish kept fleeing, eyes wide in terror.

“Lightning Bolt!” Normal Crawfish charged up a sparking ball of electricity in her claws. A classic [Lightning bolt] spell.

Virus Fish focused his wand on the charging ball, “Deadly Contagion!” The two spells spun together and combined. The ball of electric energies Normal Crawfish held now sparked green, “She cooked up good, Normie. Let ‘er rip!” said Virus Fish in his thick Jamaican accent.

“Yaaaah!” Normal Crawfish jumped out of cover and thrust her hand forward, launching the [lightning bolt] at a crowded group of Smarties. The bolt flashed out and hit a soldier square in the chest. His body convulsed as the lightning ran through him. Two bolts shot out his back, forking into two others. Then from their bodies, it forked again, hitting four and so on it continued. Shortly several hundred Smarties had been hit by the bolt.

Smarty battle suits were well insulated against such energies. Although injured, most of the afflicted soldiers were able to stand up again. They opened fire upon the two fish who were forced to hide behind cover. Lasers rained down on their location, several hitting their mark.

Virus fish protected the shivering Normal Crawfish with his own body, “Be strong, love. Won’t be long now.” he smiled down at her. On cue, a soldier lowered his weapon and started coughing into his helmet. Several others quickly followed suit, coughing and choking, ”Der we go.” he relaxed and peeked out from their cover. All the soldiers struck by the lightning bolt were now sick and dying from a horrible illness.

“Virus! Your body!” Normal Crawfish stared wide-eyed at her friend.

The right side of his body was covered entirely in bloody wounds, not a single scale was visible. He twisted his body to look at what had her so concerned, but his eye was burned through and unable to see the damage. What he could see however was Normal Fish’s worried expression, “Me nah dead yet, darlin’. Let’s lay low a bit, yeah?”

Tears filled Normal’s eyes, “Ok, underground?”

Virus nodded.

“Ok…” She took hold of her wand with her mouth and spoke the magic words, “Earth!” the ground under them split open and formed a cave deep underground for them to hide. The two fish swam down and the cave closed up behind them.

Two masters of sneakiness snuck about, trying their best to be useful. They were failing. Time and Destiny had miraculously survived unscathed despite their almost complete lack of offensive capabilities.

“Bro, I seriously don’t like this. My [Destiny Sence] is itching like crazy” Whispered destiny as they crept through a jungle.

“What should we do? Is it time to leave?” Time whispered back.

“Na dude, I feel like we’re definitely, kinda, sorta, where we’re supposed to be. Maybe there's like, something ahead? It’s a hard feeling to explain, dude. Let’s just keep moving and check it out.” Destiny swam ahead in the direction he felt fate pull him with Time right behind.

They came across something unusual in a clearing. A group of Smarties not dressed for battle were setting up a large cone-shaped machine. The fish hid in some bushes and watched the non-combatants work.

Something about the machine they were constructing felt familiar to Destiny. He squinted his eyes and tried to remember where he’d seen it before. A Smarty placed an outer plate onto the machine with the words “Project Milkshake” stencilled on it. Memories of the documents he had read in the Smarty secret vault came flooding back, “Hehehe. Little girl’s…" his mirth was short-lived as the memories of what the machine actually did came next, "Oh… OH NO!” Destiny exclaimed so loud that he almost gave away their location.

“What the heck are you doing Destiny? Are you trying to get us killed?” Time saw his friend panicking hard next to him.

"Dude, I know what they’re doing dude. It's destined to be big trouble. Dude… Dude, We gotta stop them!" Whispered Destiny Fish.

Time Fish could tell how serious a threat it was by the way Destiny used 'dude' twice in one sentence twice, "Stop them how? Should we attack?" He asked.

"Yes we should freaking attack dude! Like, right now!"

“Wow, damn,” Time started to freak out. for Destiny to urge violence meant that this was worse than he thought, "Ok let’s use the banana skin birthday beat down manoeuvre," Time took charge and selected one of their pre-practised combination attacks.

Destiny nodded in agreement.

Time psyched himself up, “Ok, Ready? Let’s go!” He swam directly towards the group of enemies making his presence known. They panicked upon seeing a magic fish approach and rushed to grab some weapons, “Mistime!” Time spoke the magic words and his wand shot ghostly clocks into every Smarty in the area. As the enemies rushed about, they all began mistiming their steps and tripping over themselves. Several lay on the ground, picking themselves up.

From above, hundreds of red strings rained down upon them. They raised their arms to defend against this new attack and were very confused when nothing happened when the strings hit. The strings simply covered their bodies and slowly began to dissolve. However, the string’s purpose was not to hurt them, it was to blind them. Loud slaps and screams could be heard around the clearing. Smarties desperately scrubbed the red strings off of their faces to see what was attacking. When the red strings cleared, Destiny and Time had tail slapped almost all of the Scientists into unconsciousness. The remainder were made short work of with a few more high-power tail slaps.

The two fish surveyed the group of unconscious Smartys with a smug grin. That was a perfectly executed banana peel birthday beat down.

Their victory was only momentary. They approached the machine which hummed with power. [Destiny sence] went nuts, "Holy finrot, Dude we gotta get rid of this thing right now! Do something! Make it a million years old or something, go go!"

Time Fish had a sense of timing that let him know he couldn't make it. He rushed to cast a spell anyway. Unfortunately, before he could raise his wand, the machine thumped, launching something deep into the ground.

Across the globe, hundreds of the same machines activated and launched their payload into the ground as well. Destiny felt it all with his [Destiny Sence]. He realised, ultimately, it wouldn't have mattered if Time had stopped the machine or not, the events were sealed. His magic hadn’t brought him to this location to stop the machine, he was here to witness the event.

A signal was sent out to every Smarty on Siren, “CODE: PINK EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!” Soldiers' eyes went wide in surprise and they wasted no time. They loaded themselves up onto evacuation vehicles and fled as fast as they could.

Siren rumbled.