《Hot Guy Cold Guy》The Bumbling Idiot

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Yuko heaved deep breaths as he shuffled one foot after another up the hill. The heat and humidity beneath the canopy of trees was suffocating. The ever-gray sky could be glimpsed through the branches.

“I, I think I know how he feels,” Yuko gasped.

It had only been thirty minutes since he had started following Skah and his ox. Already, Yuko felt like he was going to pass out from the heat.

“Stupid,” he said. Sweat trickled down his forehead. “Stupid. All the more reason to get the sword back.” He whisked off his hood and the scarf covering his face. The humid air did little to cool him.

He stumbled to the side of the road at the top of the hill and sat on a rock there. He undid his heavy cloak, his gloves and shirt until he only had his pants on. His pale skin was slick with sweat.

His face was youthful, but bore the day’s fatigue and a decade of travel.

He looked out over the land. He could see the path as it wound through the trees. He couldn’t see Skah.

He looked further, towards the horizon. Nothing.

In a panic he stood up. He looked to the sides of the path, near the rivers and streams, anywhere that the trees gave way. Nothing.

A movement caught his eye at the base of the hill. There was Skah and the ox, slowly meandering their way down the path. Skah was holding Yuko’s sword, Adhiam, and snow fell gently around him.

Yuko slumped back down on the rock. “Stupid. I could probably take a nap and still catch up.” He bundled up his clothes and slung them over his back. He made sure to keep a knife in his belt.

“I should kill him,” he mumbled. “I should run ahead and ambush him.” He stood up with effort and started a slow plod down the path matching Skah’s pace. Sweat dripped off his chin. “I should wait till night, and…and…huff, huff, huff…kill that ox too.” He kept mumbling as he dragged his feet down the path.

***

Skah stopped for the night in a clearing by a stream.

Yuko didn’t even wait, he circled around Skah’s position and traveled upstream. When he reached the stream he threw aside his travel pack and bundle and let himself fall into the stream face-first.

He burbled bubbles before pushing himself to the surface and gasping for breath. Then he took long gulps until he felt he would burst.

He found a tree next to the stream and sat against it while letting his feet hang in the water. He re-filled his water skin and wished he had another one. He had quickly run out while following Skah.

He relieved himself in the stream. Although not honorable, it made him feel a little better that Skah was downstream.

His head started to clear as he sat in the cool shade and water. His anger returned and his thoughts turned to how he would get his sword back.

If Skah continued on this path, he would eventually find himself in Ashmet. Yuko nearly lost his life there, more importantly his sword. He had made more enemies there than half of the places he’d been before during his long travels.

Even a street urchin would recognize Adhiam and himself.

If Skah went there…Yuko closed his eyes as if in pain. He had to stop Skah at all costs.

***

Yuko waited till night before creeping towards Skah’s camp. He crossed the stream and approached from that direction where he would have the best view. He crawled the last few meters slowly, careful not to make any sound. Skah was obviously an Enden. Rumors told that they could sense the winds, speak with animals and scurry through the trees like squirrels.

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Yuko wasn’t sure about that.

He peeked out from beneath a bush. At first, he couldn’t make anything out of the dark shadows. Then, he saw a shadow move as if someone were crossing their legs. There was a shadow leaning up against a tree.

Yuko waited as evening light faded from the sky and the half moon gave its light. The shadow pulled something out of a pack, something long, then unsheathed his sword. Yuko quickly shut one eye against the bright blade. He watched as Skah’s features and the clearing were brightly lit.

The ox was lying nearby, flicking flies off with its tail. Skah was awkwardly lighting a pipe with the tip of his sword.

In the middle of the clearing…in the middle was Adhiam, stuck in the ground point-first. The air around it glittered with ice crystals no bigger than specks of dust. The specks glittered in the blue moonlight like frozen fairy fire. The frost spread in all directions along the ground and over plants from the sword. It almost looked as if there had been a light dusting of snow.

Skah sheathed his sword.

Yuko switched his eyes. He ground his teeth. “You bastard!” He mouthed, still afraid of Skah’s rumored powers. “Adhiam is no tool! It is a blade for generals and warriors! A harbinger of death! Because of me it is fea-”

Skah, smoking his pipe, stood up and walked over to the sword. He drew it from the ground and took it over to the stream where he held the tip in the water.

Yuko felt the chill spread around him. His hand grasped his knife.

The stream froze. Skah smoked his pipe and gazed at the sky. After a few more moments he tugged on the sword and nodded in satisfaction when it didn’t come free from the ice. He rocked it back and forth.

Yuko opened his mouth but he clamped his hand over it. He winced as the ice cracked and broke and Skah pulled out a chunk of ice on the sword’s end. The sword bent a little under the weight.

Skah whistled as he happily swung it back and forth before bringing it up to smash the ice on a stone.

Yuko shut his eyes. He heard the smash of ice and he slowly opened one eye. Skah put the sword back in the middle of the clearing and shivered, rubbing his shoulders. He walked back to the broken ice where Chase was already licking at a piece.

Skah warbled a merry bird tune and picked up a piece of his own to lick on.

Yuko groaned quietly and hit his head on the ground. It was taking all his willpower not to rush at Skah in a rage. It would be suicidal. Skah had two swords of merit. Yuko only had the advantage of stealth and surprise on his side with a knife. Just a normal knife.

***

Yuko waited. He breathed deep breaths and closed his eyes, trying to calm his righteous fury.

He waited until Skah went to sleep, then he waited some more. He felt the day’s fatigue settling on him like a heavy weight.

He roused himself and drew back from his position. He circled Skah’s clearing again until he was on the other side of where Skah was sitting. All he needed was the sword, then he could beat a hasty retreat even if Skah woke and attacked.

Yuko crouched and slowly, very slowly, began to inch out into the open of the clearing.

A breeze rustled the leaves of the trees.

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Please, he thought, let the rumors be false. Don’t sense the wind, please, don’t sense the wind.

He inched closer to the sword. He could feel the chill seeping into his skin. If felt good.

Patience, he reminded himself, patience.

The cold air clouded his breath. I should have put my clothes back on, he thought.

He saw now that Skah hadn’t struck the sword in the ground, but in a log half-buried in the dirt.

Yuko shivered as he came close enough for his sweat to begin freezing. He glanced at Skah. He was still sleeping. The ox too.

He shivered again and quickened his pace. He was almost there. The air sparkled around the sword in the moonlight. It sparkled like the night sky’s stars turned into slow flying fireflies.

Yuko reached out a shaking hand.

Sssssthump!

A strange-looking knife struck the log.

Yuko’s breath caught. He jumped back instinctively and a knife flew past him. He jumped and rolled behind a tree.

He waited a second, then peeked a head out for a moment.

In the moonlight, he could see Skah pulling a knife stuck in the tree behind him.

Yuko ducked back behind the tree. What was insulting to Endens again? He thought.

“Hey!” Yuko yelled.

“What do you want thief?” Skah yelled back. “Have you given up on your honor? Bwahaha!”

Yuko ground his teeth together. His face flushed hot. “I’ll salt your ancestor’s graves you fool!”

Silence.

Yuko swallowed. That was stupid. Of all the insults for Endens, that one was the worst.

A fiery light suddenly shone from the clearing.

Yuko ran for his life.

Skah laughed behind him. “Come back thief! Fight me honorably for your insult! I accept! Hahahaha! Is running away honorable?! Hahahaha!”

***

After that night, Yuko tried everything he could to get his sword back and slow Skah.

He set traps on the path far ahead and Skah would walk around them.

Yuko cut down a rope bridge over a river. Skah swam across.

He set ambushes, Skah would ambush his ambush by sneaking up on him. One time, just for fun, Skah snuck ice down his pants and laughed as Yuko leapt into the air from the shock.

It was the birds. Yuko knew it. They would sing when Skah approached and tell him what Yuko had done. The birds were on Skah’s side.

So, Yuko set snares for birds around his traps. Skah heard about it and took wide berths around those areas.

Yuko tried sneaking up on Skah every night at different times. Chase flicked Skah with his tail and woke him up when Yuko approached. The breeze blew and whispered about Yuko in Skah’s ear. An owl would land and hoot “who, who?”

As they traveled, the trees starting thinning and grew more scraggly. The rivers grew farther apart. After another day of traveling the forest suddenly gave way to sparse bushes and parched dirt. Yuko suffered more and more from the sun.

On the third day of his attempts, Yuko sat on a low hill overlooking the path. The slope was fairly steep with many rocks.

Skah came lumbering along with his ox. A bird flitted by him. He looked up and waved when he saw Yuko.

Yuko shook his head and let his head fall to his chest. He was sweltering in the heat. He had his cloak over his back to protect him from the sun. His skin was already burnt red and peeling from the previous days.

Skah continued walking down below.

Yuko took out his knife and threw it at him.

Skah dodged it and kept walking.

Yuko’s shoulders slumped. He saw a rock at his feet and kicked it down at Skah.

Skah looked up at the sound of it falling and stopped. The stone started a small rockslide that sent stones smashing down on the path in front of him. The rockslide settled and Skah shook his head at the covered path in front of him.

“Hey!” Yuko yelled.

“Hey what? Is that the best you can do?”

Yuko motioned to the direction Skah was traveling. “Where are you going?”

“Down the path.”

“No, really.”

“Seriously, down the path. I don’t know where it goes.”

“You don’t have a destination?”

Skah shrugged. Then pointed at the horizon where a star still shone brightly in the daylight.

“The Star of the West?”

Skah nodded.

Yuko rolled his eyes. One of those dreamers, he thought. Skah started walking again. “Don’t go into Ashmet!

Skah turned. “Why?”

“They don’t let you carry swords there. You’ll be thrown in jail!”

Skah raised an eyebrow and nodded.

Yuko frowned. “I’m serious.”

Skah smiled. “This from the guy who’s been trying to kill me for the last few days. I wonder, what could be in Asmet?”

“I’m serious!”

Skah turned to Chase. “How about you? How does a straw bed sound?”

Chase grunted and swished his tail.

“Skah!”

Skah turned away and continued walking down the path.

“Skah!” Yuko watched in disbelief as Skah kept walking. He rested his head on his arms, exasperated.

***

Yuko woke with a start. The sun was shining in his eyes. It was past midday. “What?” Yuko looked around. He’d fallen asleep.

He jumped up. Ashmet was under a day away. Two days by Skah speed. He quickly gathered up his things and slid down the slope. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” He had to catch up.

***

Skah approached the city gates. By now the terrain had turned into desert, sand and rocks. The sun had nearly set on the horizon.

Skah had filled one of the jars on Chase’s back with dirt and had stuck Adhiam in it. It didn’t give off such a fierce chill that way. However, Skah had had to walk and sleep near Chase the past few days with his own sword so the poor ox wouldn’t freeze to death. With the two swords together, the air was more or less lukewarm, though on the cooler side.

Skah looked at the Star of the West over the buildings of the city. He patted Chase’s back. “We’re almost there.” His fingers absentmindedly touched the two soft black feathers tied to the pommel of his sword. “Kangee’s dream will come true.”

When he came close to the guards they lowered their spears. “No weapons are allowed in the city. Hand them over.”

“Huh, he was telling the truth.” Skah mumbled. “Well,” he said louder, “then I guess I won’t be entering the city.”

He turned to leave and Chase followed. The orange handle of Adhiam was sticking out of the jar.

“Halt!” Demanded one of the guards. “That’s! That’s the sword!”

“Sound the alarm! Catch him!”

Skah slapped Chase’s rump and together they started running away.

***

Yuko crested the ridge, panting heavily. He looked at the city he had left only a week before. What he saw made his stomach churn.

Chase and Skah were running away from the city down the road. Behind them, coming out of the city gates were a group of horsemen.

Yuko made a move forward but stopped. It was difficult as it was to take on horsemen with a sword, much less a knife.

The horsemen quickly overtook Skah and Chase and surrounded them.

Yuko sat on the ground and put his head in his hands.

Skah raised his arms in surrender and laughed.

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