Chapter 1: Bros, babes and a budding Revolutionaries.

Scanning body for digitalization… examining discontinuity… discontinuity identified as a wallet. Removing discontinuity from digitalized form… All discontinuities eliminated.

Beginning textures examination… textures processed. Beginning odor examination.... odors processed.

Sampling complete.... Now building digitalized form. Character model complete.

Now displaying character model.

Would you like to re-scan? Yes or No?

"No."

Character Creation begins now. Please note you ain’t in Kansas no more.

I kept my eyes open, hoping to see a smattering of pixels and sprites when the world loaded up. A weight pushed onto my eyelids, far too heavy to resist, I blinked under the pressure then spun around, flicking my eyes in every direction. I saw nothing but blackness, not darkness but blackness. If I squinted a very dark gray scale showed up on the floor but as for the walls and ceiling… well… there was no walls or ceiling.

“Sup, Brah?”

I whirled around, to find an oddly keen guy adjusting his glasses a few feet away. He wore a red baseball cap backwards, cargo pants and a Guardians of the Galaxy T-shirt. He snapped his fingers and we were both lit up in a spotlight.

“How you doin’?” he said.

“Wow. I always thought these character creation people were-”

“Supposed to be chicks?”he sighed. “Damn. Why does everyone say that?”

“No sorry, It’s cool.”

“Nah brah. It’s okay. I can be your waifu if you want.”

A puff of smoke appeared and when it vanished my jaw dropped.

“Dayum, I’m fine” the chick said. “Lemme just adjust these camera angles a little bit... Oh yeah! I’m wearin’ black ones today!”

I never would’ve said this in front of Lucy, but this girl was a dimepiece, a perfect ten.

“You wanna’ keep it this way? I can even introduce you to the mind that goes with the body. Even though she’s a ice cold woman…”

I was going to respond, I swear I was, but my jaw dropped again. The guy’s body split off of the girl’s body, scowling at it.

“I could sue you for sexual harassment, slander and impersonation,”the man’s body said in a noticeably higher and more husky tone.

“What’d I tell you?” the girl’s body scoffed. “I’ve been working with her on this damn project for seven years now and-”

“It was eight years last week,”the guy’s body said.

“Eight years now, and I’ve never even heard the words ‘thank you’ or ‘good work’ or ‘those jeans look nice on you’ out of her!”

“Those jeans were bleh. I wouldn’t give them to an orphaned toddler with syphilis. Now give me my hot bod back!”

You know the how agents in The Matrix take over other people’s bodies? Yeah, the body switch looked like a dual exchange of that plus the polymerization thing from the old Yu-Gi-Oh Franchise. Basically, it was a weird swirl of both their bodies switching places and pixelating all over the place. But more importantly, who the hell says ‘hot bod’ anymore? It’s 2056 for chrissakes!

“Much better.” the girl said crisply.

“Whew!”the guy said. “Those high heels are a pain in the ass! Why do you even bother with them?”

“What are you talking about?” she said. “These are mybattle gear!”

“No, those are arch problems waiting to happen!”

“I can’t get arch problems! I’m not even- oh wait. Damn it.”

“Umm…” I cleared my throat. “Can I make my character now?”

“Yes!” the guy said.

“No!” said the girl.

“Good point,” the guy added. “I choose no!”

“Why did you change your mind?” I asked.

“You still haven’t told me whose body you want me to use, since this creation session is mine to oversee.”

He glared at the girl, who just scoffed and vanished.

“Sorry about Trixie. I’m Justin by the way.”

I offered him a fist bump. He took it.

“Well?”he asked. “ Want your waifu back? It’s cool if-”

“No, dude. It’s not fair if I can pick whatever I want to be and you can’t. I’ll let you choose.”

He grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“In that case, I’m doing me. I’ve been getting tired of looking at the same pair of panties for the past six months anyways.”

He suddenly keeled over, wincing in pain.

“Screw you, Patricia!”

Another invisible blow knocked him over.

“What happened? Are you okay?” I asked.

“Just peachy,”he groaned. “Trixie just racked me in the balls through the system. Nothing special.”

“So her name is actually Patricia?”

His body flew fifteen feet away before tumbling back toward the ground. Note to self: at all times Patricia is to be referred to as Trixie.

“Why did you hit me that time?” he cried, pausing a moment.

“Whaddya’ mean customer satisfaction?” he cried at the empty blackness filling the place of the sky.

“You cool?” I asked.

“Somehow.”

“Good. I’m ready to make a character.”

He picked himself off the ground, dusting himself off. He snapped his fingers and a purple lawnchair appeared right next to him. He laid back on the chair, and beckoned me forward, like a lazier version of a duelling martial arts master. He snapped his fingers changing instantly into a vest and slacks with a tucked rubber ducky tie.

“Let’s go,” he said.

“Let’s.”

I kept most of my proportions the same, just so my muscle memory would transfer well, but I changed almost everything else. I changed my straight blond hair to a wavy brunette, elongated my nose a tad, and lightened my eyebrows and rounded out my cheeks a little. After inspecting the changes, I lengthened my ears just short of half-elf length, changed my brown eyes to pale green and made them slightly more oriental-like in shape. Finally, I used an advanced option, only available after I asked Justin twice, to change the structure of my irises and fingerprints.I didn’t want my in-game appearance to be immediately recognizable to me or traceable either, but similar enough so that people who knew me would look twice. After finishing, I quickly messaged the other members of Zephyr who were playing to change their irises and fingerprints as well.

“You look kinda weird, brah.”

“That’s good, since I’ll be playing as a human. I won’t have racial physical features to obscure my appearance.”

“Human it is.” he nodded. “ By the way, why do you-”

“‘Cause I’m gonna’ do some big things, both here and in my world. If I’m found out, it weakens my position. By the way, is this recorded?”

“Not any more. I’ve already deleted the footage.”

“What? When?”

“Just now. I’ve been instructed by a firing squad of geniuses in the field of privacy. Also I wouldn’t want your sprawling experience to be diminished.”

“Is that okay?”

“Sure it is. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks man. So what else do I have to do for the character creation?”

“Just pick out your starter set and starting location.”

A map of the world blinked into existence over Justin’s head, and at his feet were around nine or ten piles of equipment. I sifted through the starter sets. There were staffs, plate mail, chain mail, swords, spears, bows, crossbows, potions and food and much more but not what I wanted.

“Aren’t there any sets with a dagger?”

“Nope. Sorry brah.”

“Damn. I’ll take this one with the leather armor and supplies.”

“The Survivalist set?”

“That’s the one.”

“Cool. That’s the least popular set of them all, a little over one percent of Sprawlers chose the Survivalist.”

The other sets vanished leaving only the pile I stood in front of.

“Excellent.”he said, now sipping a glass of iced tea with a lemon wedge. “Where would you like to start?”

“I want the most remote and oppressed place I can go to.”

“Hmm… the village of Farkul is pretty oppressed, and it neighbors the starting town of Ghalramdi. But…”

“But?”

“The monsters around Ghalramdi are about fifteen levels too high for a beginner, and the monsters around Farkul are even stronger.”

“Shit.”

“Sorry Brah. It was included as a start option for the closed beta testers.” he said. “ However, with a few weeks travel you might be able to go from Riel to Barkham. Your journey wouldn’t be too hard, either.”

“How bad is it in Barkham.”

“The aristocracy is a little overbearing, but it’s not as bad as it used to be a few decades ago.”

Decades?

“How far back does history go in this world? I thought the AI has only been developing the world for twelve years.”

“It’s been going for about 1.5 million years or so. Most of the time was just to let evolution take its course and fully form the ecosystem and stuff like that.”

“I see… give me one second.”

I messaged the rest of Zephyr 8 the starting location. Justin drained his iced tea, smacking his lips and sucking on the lemon slice.

“I’ve chosen.”

“Gotcha. Ghalramdi it is.”

“How did you know?”

“One look at your face was all I needed.”

“Is that so? So you didn’t adjust those camera angles, you used for upskirts to view my chat logs?”

“Damn you’re good,” he laughed. “Sorry, I was curious.”

“I dunno man. Invading my privacy like that… I could report you to Expansive Designs…”

“You wouldn’t do that. How about I do you a small favor? Name anything? As long as it’s small.”

So I told him what I wanted, then messaged my crew. This was going much better than I expected.When Justin finished, he snapped another iced tea into existence. He frowned and then changed it to a Mexican Coke.

“Better,” he said, then turned toward me “Want anything?”

“No, but Trixie does.” I said.

“Whaddya’ mean?”

“Lemme’ tell ya’ something. I have a violently affectionate girlfriend and Trixie acts just like her toward you.”

He paused for a moment, the Coke bottle still on his lips, then coke spurted out of his mouth.

“You think-”

“I’m ninety percent sure. You guys have been alone in this funky black space for a long time. It’s only natural to want companionship…”

“I dunno,” he said.

“Have there been girl players who you’ve done character creation for?”

“Yeah.”

“How many of them did you hit on.”

“Six hundred fifty-seven.”

“And how many times did she intervene?”

“Six hundred fifty-” he stopped, and stared slack-jawed at me. “Dude.”

“Yep.”

“She’s jealous?” he said, scratching his forehead. “She’s jealous… ”

“Oh my,” I said, dismissing a system window. “ It looks like the world will open up in thirty seconds.”

He started laughing.

“This is great! Wait, she isn’t here right?” he looked around before calling. “Trixie! Trixie! I guess not… I’m gonna go get her! You have fun, Brah!”

He vanished.

We, the development team from Expansive Designs, would like to wish everyone an Epic sprawl! World opens in 10 seconds.

I adjusted my feet to a shoulder width stance, lowering my chin, holding my fists in loose balls. I was already armored up and ready to go.

“An adventure is merely the path of your heart.”

World opens now.

Trees, tall dewy grasses, tinges of purple in the sky- instead of admiring that, I covered my face with one hand, and pulled out a mask from my inventory and secured it over my face. It was just like the one I usually wore. That Justin did a pretty good job making these masks.

New Title earned: Brother from Another Mother.

You’ve been fully acknowledged as a bro, a broham and a generally cool dude, by another bro.

Affinity is earned faster with NPCs. NPCs who are bros will be able to detect your ‘broness’ and will instinctively trust you as long as you’re a bro, bro.

I smiled and thumped my chest twice, throwing a peace sign up at the sky. A faroff snarl quickly shook me out of my reverie. Let’s see… Level 13 Rapid Ursa (Bipedal Bears)… Level 16 Mega Lupine (Giant Timberwolves)... yep… totally outclassed.

I ran, tearing grass out of the earth with every stride, pumping my arms as hard enough to knock out a baby elephant.“Sparky, Bones, Rainmaker, River! On me!” I bellowed. A pair of Mega Lupine stalked out of a thicket. I lowered my form without dropping speed, then picked up a rock and hurled it seamlessly. Tock. Wolf face plus rock? Confirmed. Aggro pull? Double confirmed.

A quartet of masked figures appeared at the edges of my vision. I grunted my greeting at them. Two masses of fur, claws and teeth flew at me. I dived into a roll. A claw skimmed my sleeve, ripping through the leather like tissue paper. I suppose this is why only peasants used only leather in medieval battles.

Leather Tunic durability decreased by 6

“Hey, Face.” Sparky said. “Fine mess you’ve gotten us into.”

“Isn’t it great?” I said. “Be sure to keep up. We gotta maintain our image. That’s half the reason we’re here!.”

A bear roared its way onto our path. I stopped running, bending my knees, and scanning around me.

“Bones! You’re with me! Everyone else split!” I yelled.

“So what’s the job?” Bones asked, standing with her back to me.

“I’ll rile up the wolves. You make Pooh Bear over here madder than the bees he robs.”

“On it.”

The wolves were still skidding on the ground from their last leap, so I sunk my hands into the wet earth, pulling as much mud and rock as possible. I think I heard Bones yell “Inventory!” but I kept dragging mud up. The result? I slung more dirt than monkeys fling poo. The wolves’ eyes had narrowed to small points- I was the target, the only thing on their mind.

“Bones? Is yours mad?”

“Madder than a chihuahua. How about yours?”

“Majorly pissed. Let’s begin phase two. Please yell like somebody stole your new rims.”

“Wha- I don’t have-”

“AAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!” I hollered.

“YEEEEAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!” Bones screamed.

“GRAAWWWWWWRRRRGGGGKKKKK!” the beasts replied, charging at us, every stride eating up huge distances.

“Bones?”

“Yes?”

“Dive to the side!.”

The wolves and the bear smacked into each other, causing shockwaves I could feel meters away.

“ Zephyr 8!” I yelled “ATTACK IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!!!”

We caught up to the other three, who were somehow still alive, I mean, all within my calculations. Mwahahaha!

New Title Earner:Gr8 b8 m8 I r8 8/8 earned

You are that one guy who gets people’s goat. And you are VERY good at getting people’s goats.

Increased chance to severely piss off just about anything stronger than you. Also

50% Bonus to stealing goats. Because I feel like it.

I swear, these AIs are something else…

“Alright. How’re you guys enjoying the game so far?”I asked.

“Are you a sadist?” River asked.

“No. I just believe in tough love and trial by fire.”

River sighed, but his sigh was lost under Rainmaker’s louder groans.

“I just wanted to be a fuckin’ merchant but no… This batshit crazy ‘Face’ character drops me in the middle of the-”

“Some of these monsters drop rares, Rainmaker.”

“-In the middle of a wonderful, lucrative opportunity.” Rainmaker finished. “Now if you don’t mind me saying, I think we should start minimizing our risk effective immediately before re-evaluating our prospects.”

Bones, now wearing a black Phantom mask, joined me at the the front of our retrea- charge.

“Where’s your steel, Face?”

“My weapon is my mind. I’ll get a blade later on.”

“You brought us to this killing field and didn’t even bother with a knife?”

“It’s the fate of those who side with the Revolution to constantly be weaker than the forces of suppression. We’ve come here to learn to use our weakness with strength!” I declared.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier if-”

“Revolution is never easy nor are many of the best things in life!” I snapped.

I’m pretty sure I imagined all four of them sighing. It better have been my imagination… however the panting in their breaths and mine was undoubtedly real.

“Jog to conserve your energy,” I said. “Make sure you guys keep up with your cardio IRL too.”

Thankfully, most of the other monsters didn’t bother with us, being drawn to the yells and clashing claws and steel behind us.

Once we’d made it out of the brush, I nearly stopped running on instinct, wanting to take in the scenery in stillness. Mountains cut into the dim horizon, the pink evening reflecting off the snow-capped peaks. Everywhere else, wet longgrasses blanketed the landscape with a few patches of brush and wood. Rabbits peeked their ears out of burrows and birds squawked amongst themselves, hidden in the woods or flying overhead.

Stamina increased by 1.

We were winded by the time we got our first look at the town. Ghalramdi sat on a hill surrounded by a spiked wooden wall. The buildings were mostly wood but straw filled in the gaps between logs. We were met at the gates with two brittle-looking pikes, three fully drawn bows and hard stares.

“This one’s yours, River.” I murmured.

‘Of course,” he said.

“Gentlemen.”River said, facing the guards. “We are weary travellers with money to spend, we’re not here to cause trouble. May we pass?”

Not yet, at least, I thought to myself. The guards looked at each other, lowering their weapons slightly.

“If you are what you say, then why do you hide your faces?”

“Our fans,” I answered. “On the road and even in a remote area like this, we have many fans. We’ve come to these plains enjoy a few months of life without being constantly recognized and to restore our creative energy.”

My answer was true, although it was a slightly doctored truth. Zephyr 8 had been getting more and more popular. The guards picked up on my words but still seemed dubious.

“Well… stay safe, your fans might be worried if you came to harm.”

The wooden gate swung open, creaking as it opened. I examined the door further, there were dents and scratches on the wood and splintered areas which were hastily patched up with a black, gummy substance. The gate closed. I looked at the backside of the gate, it was reinforced with two riveted metal strips forming an ‘X’ across the center of the gate.

Bones tapped my shoulder, she was facing forward scanning the village.

“Face. This place is dangerous.” she said. “Safe people don’t walk and shut their windows like this.”

“That door was at least six inches thick, too,” Rainmaker added. “It wasn’t field mice that made those dents…”

“The guards at the gate had well-used but mismatched weapons and armor.”Bones said. “Whatever fighting power this town has… it isn’t much.”

They were right. We were in the wilderness, outclassed and well in harm’s way.

“And that’s exactly how I want it.” I said.

“But Face-”

“Trust me.” I said. “We’ve been together for almost six years now, I’ve got a brilliant plan.I’ll give you guys full disclosure when we reach an inn. Until then, keep your guard up. Tough times make tough and desperate people.”

I took their silence for agreement. As we walked along Bones, pointed out what the shadowy figures in the alleys were most likely up to, whereas Rainmaker muttering to himself about the value of various pieces of junk that he and Bones would find. “No, that’s no good, Bones. Only the metal scraps are worth our time.” River greeted everyone he came across, adjusting his words slightly based on their perceived status. “Hello.”, “Cheers!”, “Lovely evening.”, “A Pleasure, Sir.”

I kept my eye out for key locations: weapon shops, general stores, intriguing NPCs and finally, an inn. We entered and paid for two rooms, skipping offers for supper and ascending the staircase. I called the crew over into the room Rainmaker and I shared. When they’d all got inside, I closed the door and locked it.

“Are you guys ready for my master scheme?” I asked.