Athena’s P.O.V.

“No, Helena! Please stop this nonsense! Doc, please check my daughter again. I think she was having amnesia1 or some kind of hallucination. I will pay for everything. I can even double your professional fee—name your price if you want! Just do everything to cure my daughter. Please make her remember that she was Helena.”

This was the first time I saw how Dad begged someone.

“Please relax, Mr. Delgado. We ran a series of tests with your daughter’s brain damage and fortunately, after two months of being comatose, she’s now free of any hemorrhage and blood clot. I didn’t see anything wrong with her. She’s completely fine and she’s also free of any psychological traumas. Actually, she doesn’t have amnesia. You see, she clearly remembers everything and she’s extraordinarily strong.”

Then, he paused for a while before he continued.

“Even though you lost the other, your daughter here was a fighter, and we can discharge her soon so she can continue her healing periods at home. Excuse us, we will leave you for now so you two can talk… but please do not pressure the patient, Mr. Delgado. Stress will only affect her condition,” the doctor gently explained before he got out of the private room accompanied by his two nurses.

Silence reigned the entire room before Daddy opened his mouth. “I still can’t believe this. So, you’re Athena, huh?” he bitterly muttered as he broke down into tears. “So, it was really Helena who died? Oh, God! My Helena? What did you do to her? My daughter died because of you!”

He said those harsh words in a low tone, but it was like a bomb that deafened both of my ears. He even pointed his finger at me as if I were a criminal being tried in court. It affected me so much that all I had to do was sob.

“And how about me, Dad? A-Am I, not your daughter? Dad, I am also your daughter! D-Don’t talk to me as if I was a different person outside our family, who just k-killed your beloved daughter. Helena is my twin sister, Dad. We used to live together and never in my entire life that I would want her d-dead. Don’t blame me for what happened because it was all an accident!” I could not stop myself from stuttering while sobbing. It felt like I was having a hard time breathing as my chest continued to constrict.

If I only knew that all this would happen, I would have never agreed to Helena's request to switch our seats. If only I knew that Daddy would blame me for her death, I would have asked God to get me instead.

I would rather die than live like this. It was ironic that I was not able to properly mourn over my twin sister’s death because of my father’s accusations, and it was slowly shattering me into pieces!

“Fix your things. We will leave now!” Those were the last words that I heard from him before he turned around, went outside the room, and slammed the door shut.

Though I was feeling dizzy, I slowly fixed myself as well as the things on the couch that were truly prepared for Helena. Because at first, Daddy did not even know that I was the one who survived instead of his beloved child.

I wondered if Daddy already knew right from the start that I was the one who would wake up, would he still prepare my things like this? Would I be able to see him at the side of my bed like how I saw him when I opened my eyes a while ago?

My lips twitched. I was so stupid to ask and hope for more. Why would I even ask when the answer was clearly no? Because he never cared about me. I just woke up from being comatose, and he would not even spare me to rest some more.

When I got out of the room, I saw him currently sitting on one of the benches in the hallway. He was looking extremely disappointed and closed to being devastated. He did not even bother to get a wheelchair for me.

He took the bag that I was carrying and even though I was stepping unevenly, I just quietly followed him. I guessed that some fractures were not yet fully healed no matter how brave I was to endure them. There was a male nurse who offered me a wheelchair, but I refused. I already became a masochist while living with my father.

We went to the parking lot from where our other car was located. Our family driver hurried out of the car to assist me when he saw that I could not walk properly. I kept on thinking that if only Ricardo had driven our car on the day we had the accident, Helena would still be alive.

If I were guessing it right, we would go to the cemetery where Mom was buried based on the direction of the car. I was not wrong all along. We went inside our family mausoleum2 where Mom’s remains were peacefully resting, and now, Helena was next to her.

But what horrified me was when I saw what was written on Helena’s grave:

Athena Cari LeBeau Delgado

Born: November 12, 1992

Died: April 18, 2007

My tears immediately watered my eyes before running down my cheeks. The next thing I knew was… I was down on bended knees while tremblingly touching the cold marble tiles where my name was purposely engraved.

Daddy already killed me. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. It hurts! This kind of excruciating pain came to explode inside me like a silent hand grenade. How I wished that I had just become numb after the accident so that I could no longer feel the heartaches I was getting at the moment. For once, did he ever consider me as his child?

“From now on, Athena is dead. If you want to gain my love, continue to live your life as Helena. Strive to be the best. If not, strive to be perfect!” He almost whispered, yet he was emphasizing each word. Telling me that I was dead in front of my face indeed sent shivers down my spine “You will transfer next week to St. James Catholic School and you will continue Helena’s legacy whether you like it or not,” Daddy demandingly continued.

“But Dad? For the umpteenth time, I will tell you that I’m not Helena!” I protested. “We’re just the same in physical appearance but we will always be two different persons! I don’t know how to be an honor student and I don’t want to be one. Please, Dad… just accept me for who and what I am. For once, hear me out. I am also your daughter. I beg you, please…” I helplessly hugged his thighs while kneeling as his pants even caught my tears.

“Enough of this drama, Athena! This will be the last time that I will call you by your real name! My decision is final and irrevocable! You will continue Helena’s life and you have no other option but to stick with it!” He angrily snapped at me as he forcibly took my hands off his thighs and left me alone inside the mausoleum.

I defenselessly fell on the floor while touching my twin sister’s grave again. “Helena, I’m sorry. If only I knew that this was going to happen, I would have never allowed us to switch our seats and I would have been lying there instead of you. That way, Daddy wouldn’t be angry because you might still be alive and watching movies with him right now. How I wished that it was me who died… after all, I didn’t have a purpose here anymore.”

I was sobbing too much to the point of breaking down.

“I promise, I won’t do any harm to taint your name. I will do anything for your kind legacy to continue, sis. I love you more than I love myself, Helena… and that is why I will be doing this. I deserve to die, and you deserve to live.” I was wiping my tears away when our driver came to fetch me.

“Ma’am Helena, Sir Miguel is calling you. It’s now time to go home,” Ricardo gently informed me.

I just nodded at him before glancing back at Helena’s grave. “I’ll go ahead, A-Athena. Daddy is waiting and you know that he was not fond of waiting, right? I’ll come back here, I promise you. For now, take care of Mommy in heaven, huh? I’ll try my best not to follow you soon, I love you both!” I bade goodbye before I stood up and went outside the mausoleum.

So, that was what happened. I had no other choice but to continue living my life as Helena, and that was I received a lot of bullying acts. If only I learned from the start how they were treating my twin sister, I would have rushed to them a long time ago and slapped the hell out of their faces.

I would even strangle their necks until they could not breathe! God knew how much I was trying to be calm even with what they were throwing at me for the sake of Helena’s name.

On the other hand, Dad never broke his promise as he fulfilled to show me the love and affection that I had been longing for, for fifteen years of my damned life. I studied so hard but despite that, I only achieved being third in the class. Like what I said before, I would never be Helena… and I would never be her match.

I thought that Dad would be mad at me but since he was seeing Helena rather than Athena, he planned something—he paid the school’s administration to declare me as the top one of the whole school year. It was quite embarrassing, but I needed to swallow my pride and stood straight to continue everything my twin sister had started.

And now, Dad decided to transfer me again using all of Helena’s credentials. Well, I didn’t want to be friends with anyone from that school. And that Rivera who seemed to be following me around? He was so annoying and ignorant. He was a pathetic attention-seeker! The first time I laid my eyes on him, I knew right there that he was running for that so-called valedictorian title.

If I were studying there as Athena, and if Helena were still alive, I would be the one to give that damn title to him so he could swallow it wholeheartedly! He could even stab his lungs with it. But I was destined to live as Helena now and for the succeeding years of my life and it seemed to have no escape at all.

I was sure as hell I did not deserve that title, but I would do everything to get it using Helena’s name, even if it meant… getting it by crook!

_________________________

1Amnesia is a form of memory loss. Some people with amnesia have difficulty forming new memories. Others cannot recall facts or past experiences. People with amnesia usually retain the knowledge of their own identity, as well as motor skills.

2Mausoleum is an external free-standing building constructed as a monument enclosing the interment space or burial chamber of a deceased person or people.