"Yes, Engie?" You asked him, the tone of your voice sounding as out of it as you were. I really don't want to talk right now. I don't even think I can.

"May Ah come in?" He asked tentatively, as if he was testing the waters and hesitant to step in. He then gestured to your room with his hat. You nodded solemnly, stepping aside to let him in. He placed it back on his head as he walked inside and sat on your bed. Oh boy. "Ah suppose Ah should explain myself."

"I would appreciate that, yes. You scared the crap out of me." You took a seat on your desk chair. He rubbed his hand across his forehead, nodding as he leaned forward. He rested his elbows on his knees. He looked about as exhausted as you felt. You both sat in uncomfortable silence as his gaze seemed to be fixed on the ground. I don't want to be rude, but this really isn't accomplishing anything. You looked around your room before stopping yourself, coming to a realization. You slowly moved your widened gaze back to the unmoving Texan, and realized that what he was doing reminded you of what you yourself would do. It wasn't as if you were ever quick to solve any problems, and when you were confronted you closed yourself off. You didn't want to admit anything and you couldn't find the words you wanted to use. Is that what's happening? You had to take a different approach to how you saw this. It just feels so off to see someone who usually has it all together be closed off like this. However, it doesn't make them any less of a human after all, huh? "Um, Engie?" You tried to speak with the gentlest voice you could muster, trying to sound as comforting as possible. You saw his ear perked up at the sound of your voice in the silence. He slowly lifted his head to look at you. His expression was that of a man who was utterly ashamed, and it caught you off guard. You immediately figured that maybe this conversation could happen tomorrow. I'm not usually the one in this position and I don't know how to handle it! "D-did you want to talk about this later?"

"No." He shook his head. "No, Ah came in here to talk about this now. Ah just don't really know how ta say..." He trailed off, sighing and motioning with his hands as if trying to hold the sentences he couldn't seem to conjure. You nodded, completely understanding what that's like. That's why he was so quiet.

"Yeah, I've been there." You let out an almost pitiful laugh. You know that. "...How about starting with why you were acting so strange at dinner?" He gave a slight nod.

"Yeah, you're right. Well, (Y/n), Ah'm a practical man ya see. Heck, Ah work with machines for mah job!" He started motioning with his hands. You were slightly taken aback by how he used your real name. Why did he do that? Still, you nodded for him to continue while giving a small smile for encouragement. "What Ah mean is, when Ah saw you walk back together with Demoman all happy for probably the first time ya've been here, Ah was so relieved Ah thought everthin' was fine. Ah didn't take inta account how'd ya really react after what happen'd with Medic. Then, Ah embarrassed both of us at lunch n' Ah couldn't even tell ya were shakin'! Ah just wanted ya to be alright, Ah thought ya were, and Ah pressed that on ya unfairly. It was disgraceful. For that, Ah'm sorry."

"Well," you felt a bit taken aback, but you weren't completely surprised either. "I understand what your thought process was, and to be honest, I wish you were right. This has been a stupid mess. You're forgiven... Engie." It would make sense that a logical person like him would just believe everything would be fine. Unfortunately, the thought of trying to talk to Medic again chilled you to the bone. A small, yet noticeable smile formed on Engie's lips as he sat more upright.

"Thank ya kindly, darlin'. It means a lot ta me that you'd say that." He took off his hat to run his hand over his head. You returned the smile and nodded. "Y'know, once ya left everyone chewed me up and spat me back out." He started a hearty chuckle and you joined in. I feel like I would have heard that, though.

"Wait, really?" You pushed your hair back behind your ear, your smile much more bright. You couldn't help but imagine how that must of went.

"Oh yeah! It felt like Demoman was leadin' the charge too! Scout looked like he was throwin' a hissy fit he was so red in the face, Sniper an' Heavy glared at me, and Soldier just looked plain confused about everythin'!" Both of your laughing grew louder as Engie told the story. "Spah was just shakin' his head like he was above it all, as Spah usually does. Oh, an' Pahro didn't understand what was goin' on and he just tried to throw food at me!" You were now red in the face. When have I laughed this hard? You were clutching your stomach, imagining Engie having to duck from burnt pizza and Spy acting like some kind of a scolding father. You could picture Soldier looking around, not sure of what's going on and just shouting whatever comes to mind. It filled you with a special kind of comfort to picture Demo, to picture everyone wanting to protect you like that. Everyone except...the Doctor. Him. To you, he felt more like a monster rather than a human. Engie seemed to notice you quiet your laughter and he placed a hand on your knee.

"I-I'm sorry." You apologized as your shaking had started up again.

"No darlin', you don't have to apologize for yer feelin's. Ah get it, Ah promise. He didn't move or say anythin'." You nodded and slowly tried to calm down. What the fuck is wrong with me now? "Would ya feel up ta tellin' me what happened? Everyone knows that you two fought, but only Demo admitted to knowing why. Everyone's worried and ya know Ah hate being in the dark about these type of things." Do we trust him?

"N-no, I get it. You deserve to know, and I want you to." You tried to shake yourself as a way of psyching yourself up for this. Instead, it just made you look like you were shivering. Still, pushing past it, you continued. "I trust you." Engie's eyebrows lifted and he had a slight smile.

"Glad to hear." You smiled back and nodded.

"So, y'know how we - Medic and I - never really got along?" Engie nodded. "Well, during the class training earlier this morning, I guess I wasn't doing what he wanted and...well no, let me backup. When we first started, we seemed to be getting along, well, getting along was more like tolerating each other. I guess I was trying to get too comfortable talking with him, so when he mentioned the first fight in the arena, I took that as a chance to tease him about losing. Obviously, he didn't take it that well. We start fighting. He grabs my arms and I knock him to the ground while he pulled me with him." Engie had an eyebrow raised, staying still. "He hits his head and doesn't throw me off like I thought he would. He's still holding my arms down and I can't get up. We don't move for a while and I start genuinely getting concerned. I get his attention and he just looks at me with that expression." You shook a bit, not being able to describe it. "Anyway, I'm trying to tell him that we get up, but the only words that seem to come out of my mouth are that I'm cold. So, instead of him getting up or saying anything, he just places a hand on my back and I become so uncomfortable." Engie didn't have a discernible expression. "I'm sorry, I know that probably sounds... not so good. ... U-um, either way, I get him to let go and I get up to heal him with the Medigun. Once I'm finished, he heals me and just starts shouting at me for not doing anything sooner.

"Obviously, I get angry at him because he's the one who didn't let go of me and we eventually stop arguing and try to finish the training. Except, every time I did something or I couldn't do something right he'd just yell at me for it. Hell, I couldn't take it anymore! With all of the stupid things he's put me through in the what, nine days I've been here, I just let it all out on him! I shout back at him for how he's treated me and what I've been through and I leave. That's when I come back and Demo takes me for training. I tell him what happens and he accepts and understands. Now, I'd like to say we're friends, but I still beat myself up for everything like usual. I'm such a mess Engie." Damn, that's got to be the first time I've admitted to thinking of one of these people as my friends.

Engie was silent for a long time. You could tell he was caught up in his thoughts. Still, telling him made you feel better, so even if he'd take it all the wrong way, you would have gained something. Eventually, he sat up and patted the space next to him on your bed. Cautiously, you stood up and went to sit where his hand was on his right closest to your pillow. Without a word, he pulled you into a big embrace and held you close. Surprised, you awkwardly placed your hands on his back.

"(Y/n), darlin', you are not a mess. You are a beautifully crafted human bein'. It's just Medic's fault he can't see that," Engie spoke with the authority of someone who truly believed in what they said, and it caused tears to freely roll down your cheeks. You found your confidence in those words, and firmly, yet gently hugged him back. You heard Engie sniff and chuckle. "There's the Strategist Ah knew you'd be. The first moment Ah saw you Ah knew you'd be strong, intelligent, and the perfect fit for our team. It turns out Ah was right, and it's best you know that." You couldn't even speak, your throat had closed up from crying. God what did I do to deserve people like this in my life? It then you realized just how much these people cared for you. From protecting you in crazy stupid ways like Scout to taking the time to be there for you like Heavy, Demo, and Engie. You had been hugging him tightly now, burying your face into his shoulder. Engie chuckled and stroked your back while gently rocking you. Something you couldn't ever remember your father doing for you. Something you couldn't remember him ever wanting to do. It was always your mom, and even she never really checked up on you. Yet here, now, someone who you've met less than three weeks ago was filling both of their shoes better than they had. It wasn't like you didn't love them, but this was what you've always needed. Right here, right now.

"T-thank you Engie," you finally found your voice, even if it was just a whisper.

"It'll never be a problem (Y/n). Ah promise to be here whenever ya need it." Engie said in a low, soothing voice. "Heh, Ah take it ya don't get hugged too often, huh?"

"No, I-I really don't." Engie let out a soft chuckle.

"Me neither darlin'. I could stay like this all day long."

"I could too." You both sat in silence. You took full advantage of the comfort Engie provided you. You didn't want to have a doubt in your mind, so you decided to push Medic aside where he should be. "Hey Engie?"

"Hm?"

"Remember when you told me you didn't know how to handle these kind of situations?"

"Huh, yes, Ah remember that."

"I never understood it, because you've always done an amazing job. Even when I wasn't receptive to it." Engie laughed before hugging you tightly, giving you a good squeeze.

"Thank ya darlin'. That means more ta me than ya know." You heard him sniff and felt his hand move. "Much, much more than ya know."