Memories of deaths crippled my mind.

…

Vague visions, which overlapped with what I experienced today. Giant claws shredded my body. Troops that charged at me in the thousands. Demons so strong they toyed me around like some rag doll. The hopes and dreams of the world which I carried.

Emotions of despair, pain, fear, anxiety..

I woke up to the fading throes of anguish. I got up and hugged my knees. Evanescent dreams departed from my thoughts, I recalled the incident yesterday.

If I had accepted the coronet, would things have gone well?

Would I have gotten the information I needed?

Even if I did acquire the information, what exactly could I do with that information? It would be much easier if the angels brought Lucia’s father, Carlos to me.

If only it were that simple.

This demon-angel world is filled with strong people.

I thought the 7SEAS fleet was strong.

I didn’t think they’d be much stronger people out there.

If they didn’t set up the interdictor, I doubt that the 7SEAS fleet would’ve come out alive if I had contacted them.

Cain really pulled a hard one on me this time.

Should I trust him to continue forward?

I’m not in the mind to answer that at the moment.

Moreover..

I killed Eugine.

Maybe they’ll be a bounty on my head in the angel’s contract?

I don’t know.

I’m scared.

I looked over to Lia, burrowed in hirs blanket like a burrito.

Someone is sleeping soundly at least.

‘You’re awake?’

Lucia’s voice resounded in my head.

“You too?”

A red light flashed and Lucia popped into existence.

Xe sat on the blanket in front of me.

“I can’t sleep either.”

“I suppose there’s a lot running through our heads.”

“Very so..”

I leaned against the wall.

“I don’t mean to undermine your efforts, Avner. You’ve done a lot for me. I’m grateful for that. I just feel apologetic that this request of mine was forcing you to bite more than you could chew.”

“No. It was a blunder on my part. I thought I could trust the angels. I didn’t think that they would try to kill me.”

I almost died.

Was it that scary?

Yes.

“I won’t forget your heroism,” somnolently, said xe.

“I think you should.”

“Huh?”

“It doesn’t make sense to put someone on a pedestal. I think it’s weird, personally.”

“It’s not like I’m going to do that, you know?”

“Then don’t.”

Lucia nodded.

The mood was slightly awkward so I tried to think of another topic.

“Speaking of which, about what happened during the morning. The interdictor, do you know anything about it?”

Lucia was the one who warned me about it when it first appeared.

I might encounter more of these strange devices in the future. So it would be better if I’m educated about the methods to counter them. Not being able to contact people or being restrained from escaping could lead to my death if I’m not careful.

“You simply need to leave the range. I heard that interdictors don’t have a large range so they are mostly used to harass, in most cases. That’s if there have not been any major changes to the technology found in the newer models. I’m not sure how far crafting has progressed, maybe there’s been an extension to the effective range.”

Good to know that there’s a limit.

“Avner. How long have you lived?”

“15, will be turning 16.”

“16? Then when were you awakened?”

“You mean when I became a fledgling?”

“If that’s the word used here.”

“About 3 months ago.”

“Only 3 months?”

I nodded.

“That’s a little beyond me. Are fledgling normally able to handle attacks from 5 angels? I don’t know..”

“I’m a little different from the rest.”

“Then, I’ll put in a suggestion for your name the next time we have any private contracts that need to be completed. Will that be alright?”

“I’m thankful but if possible could I decline. I want to just live a normal life.”

“Oh. Right.. my bad for not noticing.”

Lia shuffled in hirs blanket and rolled over. Lucia and I turned to hir and put up our guard.

Which was needless because xe was snoring away.

I took the opportunity at this break to bring up Lucia’s objective.

“Lucia. About your father. I’m sorry.”

Xe shook hirs head.

“You can’t control that.”

I couldn’t discern hirs’ expression.

“I’ve spun myself into a web of false hope. I should be more realistic.. he’s most probably dead.”

Those words hurt.

I was sure why I kept relating hirs situation to mine.

Novelle is alive. She’s here. She’s not dead.

Hirs father and Novelle are two entirely different situations.

So why I’m I so concerned about it?

“As I said previously. I don’t mean to undermine your courage and effort. Just.. perhaps I should’ve been more rational and pragmatic, less temperamental. Demons die every day, after all. I can’t lose myself because of some small thing like this.”

“I think you’re overthinking it. It’s alright to be emotional..”

“Yes.. and no. What I need to do from now on... Father’s death is a lesson. I got to experience a lot, thank you Avner.”

Does xe realize xe’s fooling hirself?

“Tomorrow morning, per your recommendation, I’ll be boarding another ship. So.. I just wanted to take this chance to share with you my current feelings. Don’t worry too much about me, I can handle myself. I’m sure you have your own share of trouble to manage.”

Yet, what say do I have it in if xe finds logic in regret?

“Take care then, Lucia.”

“I will.”

I didn’t get a good sleep that night.

===

The next day we met again with Randingo and Ain at our usual breakfast spot. I learnt that they were supposed to go for the resource collection mission yesterday. But because they were concerned about my safety, they chose to delay their expedition.

Hence, they’ll be completing it today. After the mountain climb to collect this flower (resource), they’ll bring it to the demon association for appraisal, and at the same time, put up a missing pureborn notice for Lucia.

I don’t think I have the courage to go out today just to bring hir to the demon association, not after the stern warning I received from my parents via hologram call. My grandparents also told me to reduce the frequency at which I leave the apartment arbitrarily.

I entrust hir to Randingo. I’ve done what I can albeit not achieving much. The rest is up to them.

“Thank you for everything, Avner.”

“Stay safe.”

Lucia gave me one last bow before making hir way over to Radingo. The incorporeal string that we had attached to each other flashed a bright red before severing itself.

When breakfast ended, I turned to their table to check on them one last time.

They waved at me, I waved back.

“Good luck Lucia.”

I don’t know if your father can be saved.

Either way.

Take care.

===

dotturndot: Take care. You guys too, take care of yourself in your own life. Unexpected challenges crop up now and then, sometimes you just have to let go and pivot.