《The Writer's Illustrator is Stuck in Cookie Cult (LN)》2.8. Frustration
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I’m not sure if it was a coincidence that Lynda almost lost herself today. Perhaps today was the day she’d end up turning Emily into a vampire.
“Avner, this is your house right?”
“Wow. It's actually a landed property.”
Cain and Nyill accompanied me back home by taking the ELRT.
[“I’m back, right outside the door.”]
It didn’t long before the gate split open with my aether and mother appearing from behind the entrance.
“W-Welcome back.”
“Good evening to you, Miss Crosswood. I’m Nyill, a nurse from Alska General Hospital. Your son helped prevent the spread of an NtBM case and I’m very grateful for that. I understand that you’re worried for him, but I assure you that he’s safe.”
“Ah, thank you very much nurse.”
“His actions were commendable. I apologize for having brought him along to the hospital. The other student had asked for his company.”
“I see, so that’s how it is.”
I was, by some magic force, ushered into the house as my aether and mother began discussing with Cain and Nyill in regards to what happened.
Father just came down from the stairs, Lia was already standing before me with a pout.
“What happened?”
“I tried to help someone.”
Cain and Nyill supplemented explanations to cover for me. I didn’t get in trouble that day.
I suppose this is the benefit of being part of the angel’s faction. Which makes me wonder if the same assistance would be given if I joined the demon’s faction?
===
It was mid November. Snowfall had begun.
The finals were coming in another week.
Though I’ve been busy preparing for my exams, I didn’t neglect my art.
As surprising as this sounds, I got an offer to do a commission for the cover art of a novel series. The user wasn’t really a popular web novel writer, works were so-so.
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In any case, I decided to take it. The amount I would receive from the commision isn’t a lot. I could only attribute it to my lack of understanding when it comes to practically earning a living through my work. Else it would be my unrealistic expectations that I can earn enough right off the bat to go survive on my own.
I can’t depend on small commissions if I truly want to make this my bread and butter. I need bigger clients.
That said, my biggest constraint to working for a big client is time. I don’t have all day to draw. And even if I squeeze every nickel, I could only hit 4 hours max, else I’d have to cut back on sleep. Plus, having that peace to grind for 4 hours is in itself a rare occurrence.
Here’s an example of what happened recently.
I was called (yelled at) by my mother in the middle of a drawing session. It’s one thing to be called, an entirely different thing to be disturned in the midst of work. All the momentum I built up was gone in an instant.
“Avner, look at this.”
I nodded in silence.
“I’ve told you time and time again, turn off the heater when it’s not in use!”
I don’t even know who it was that left the heater on.
Because of these constant interruptions, I feel doubtful about my ability to keep up with work. It’s difficult to keep focus in this sort of family.
Money is such a troubling topic.
But earning money independently is a skill I’ll have to learn in this era. I don’t know when the ball will drop– when the family will break apart.
I don’t have a lot of time left; I don’t know what options I have.
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“Big bro, study..”
“No. Stop disturbing me.”
“You’re going to make mommy angry.”
“Fuck that.”
It’s chaos, this family is chaos. I’m beginning to lose myself.
I don’t remember what Lia did after that, xe just went to sleep. I kept drawing late into the night, woke up early and continued to draw until I had to go to school.
===
I came to class a little later today.
Avner is already at his seat, what is he doing I wonder? Lily, it’s time to zoom in!
“You know how to draw?”
“Yeah.”
Avner’s deep and superficial miasma gauge was rather high today. Did something happen to him?
“Yo, morning. Any reason why you came to Avner’s seat?” Ares you prick don’t show me that smile!
“Avner knows how to draw.”
“He knows.. what?! Since when?! Oi, this is really good.”
“Thanks.”
His superficial miasma is.. rising? Something is wrong.
“How do you draw? This thing is?”
Ares began bothering him, and every time he did so. The gauge would spike.
“U-Uh.. Ares, could you not disturb Avner?”
“Whoops, my bad.”
The gauge dropped a little. Safe!
Oh no.. it began rising again.
One thing about the miasma gauge I find vague is the lack of a value or a threshold cap. Even though I say high, I don’t exactly have anything to use as a guide but my honed instincts say that it’s ‘high’.
Which is scary because there’s something wrong with Avner!
“Um.. Avner, are you alright?”
“I’m alright, really.”
He’s not alright, it jumped again.
“Sorry for disturbing you.”
Maybe he’s focused on his drawing. I do get mad whenever someone tries to disturb me when I try to write my blog. It takes a lot of concentration you know!? It’s not easy to come up with something to write every day.
I went back to my seat.
[It’s good you gave him some space.]
“But still..”
Ares also left Avner. His superficial miasma stopped rising, his deep miasma went up.
I’m worried.
What happened to you this time, Avner?
===
I was playing TinyArmies to cool off my brain after writing my blog.
[Total readership is 2545, with 17 subscribers.]
It’s stupid how only 2 of the 17 subscibers come on to read anything I post. I don’t get it, what is it that makes people stay? Is my writing not good enough? How long do I need to keep writing?
Avner hasn’t logged in since the day I helped him do it in school. Has he already given up on this game? I helped catch the thieves in his camp. If he doesn’t do anything about it soon, everything will soon become destroyed!
I should tell him about it.
I hesitated.
Why did Avner’s miasma gauge rise? It wasn’t because of me, was it?
It’s rare to see someone's miasma gauge fill up so quickly. The last time it happened was when I forgot to close the fridge. All the ice melted and made a mess of the floor. Aei superficial miasma went through the roof.
We had to remove all the food because they were no longer safe to eat.
I learnt my lesson.
“Lily, should I message Avner?”
[What will you talk to him about?]
“TinyArmies?”
[It’s worth a try.]
I steeled myself and sent my first message to him in a while.
[“Avner, you still hadn’t logged into your TinyArmies account!”]
I didn’t receive a reply.
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