Every chance he could get, day or night, Johan buried his face in his textbooks. He would be deep into his studies that the hours flew by. If he believed he had gone through the lessons as much as he could, he would pick up another topic of interest. For all the time he felt wretched and defeated he wanted to make up by concentrating on his studies.

After weeks of seeing his grades decline, he has made a miraculous recovery. All the study that went in during this trying period finally paid off, but this victory was merely a side-effect.

'These dreams had gone on for too long unchecked. Those wicked visions, I allowed them to control me for far too long.'

Aside from his devotion to his college work, he also set time for meditation to clear his head, decided to write stories on a variety of topics that were more optimistic, and started a jogging routine every morning. Anything to get his mind off his dreams. These apparitions that were draining him mentally, he was starting the process of removing them from his system. 'If I can remove these haunting visions then perhaps maybe I can finally move on with my life.'

The results of all these endeavors gave him confidence that he could overcome his anguish. He truly believed that all he had to do was create a habit out of this routine and his ill desires would finally deplete into nothingness. He just had to continue until that eventual time would come.

"Morning Johan," Wendy greeted him.

"Morning, Wendy" he greeted them as he headed toward the kitchen.

"Did you get any sleep this time?"

"I was up studying."

"Always buried in books, huh? I've noticed you've been doing it a bit more than usual."

"That's because my grades have been lapsing. I need to make up for it."

"You? Slacking off your grades?"

"I'm not perfect. I am a human being and sometimes I lose focus."

"I see. And what was the cause for your loss of focus?"

"Just... general stress, I guess. You know, mid-terms are coming up."

"You really are taking college so seriously. I don't remember you taking high school so seriously."

"That's because we're no longer in high school. We have to be more responsible as young adults."

"I guess I should take a lesson from you rather than Margaret. She's always so lax about things. So, are you going to make breakfast?"

"Yes, of course."

"And you're finally going to catch up on that as well?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry for lapsing on the chores as well. I'll make breakfast from here on."

"And dinner?"

"If you want."

Wendy chuckled, "Then I look forward to it. You make better meals than I do."

When the pans started to sizzled, he tossed in a few strips of bacon, whipped a few eggs, and baked potatoes. He offers a plate to his roommate which they gladly accept.

"You've been cooped up in here for days," Wendy said. "When was the last time you went out?"

"As I said, I've been trying to make up the faltering in my grades."

"How about taking a break? Let's hang out today."

"I don't know about that. I still feel I should concentrate on my studies."

"Didn't I tell you earlier that studying for too long will make you sick? Come on, take a break. Studying itself can also cause stress."

"No. I feel that studying is the only thing that is making me feel better."

"Making you feel better?"

Johan paused a bit before replying, "I am quite worried about my grades."

"Are you sure that's all that's on your mind?"

Johan looked at Wendy with suspicion. "And what is on yours?"

"I'm just saying, you know, we used to hang out together with our other friends. Used to go to places on the weekend just to hang out like the mall. Remember the Sutherland Mall?"

"That was back in high school when we were younger and our parents took care of us. Now we have to take care of ourselves."

"But does it have to be that way? Why can't we go back to those times?"

"Don't you have friends to hang out with? I'm sure they'll hang out with you any day of the week."

"But you're my friend too. My best friend, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"But do you only remember?"

"Wendy, where are you going with this?"

"What I'm saying is that we're drifting apart. It's like we're complete strangers at this point."

"As I said, we're now college students."

"But does that mean we have to change personalities as well? Perhaps we have changed physically, our social status is now that of independent citizens. I get all that, but do we have to change who we are? I may be Wendy now but I feel no different back when I was Edwin. But you, Johan, it's like I'm living with a stranger now. I want the old Johan back."

Johan paused momentarily as he soaked in the words Wendy had given him. "Sometimes, we just can't change who we are, but we sure try to, don't we?"

"Does that mean..."

"I guess I can take a break. How about we hang out then, Edwin." An awkward silence emerged. "Sorry, was I just joking and-"

"No, I don't care about that. I was just shocked that you actually agreed with me." Wendy said with a big smile on their face as they got up. "Let's just go."

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now. Let's head to the mall."

"The mall..."

"That's right. Let's go back and relive the past."

Wendy exited the scene into their room, leaving Johan sitting on the table by himself. "Relive the past?"

--

'Do not enter' was the sign welcoming both once they arrived at the construction site where the former Sutherland Mall stood.

"Are you kidding?" Wendy said. "The mall is gone! But it was here the last time we visited."

"It has been years since," Johan said. "Things sure are changing faster than I anticipated."

"This is crazy. I can't believe our hangout is gone."

"I can't believe it either."

Johan stared upward at the small portion of the building that remained standing. The facade was stripped, only showing the rusty beams that had been supporting the mall for decades, now derelict. Peering into one of the holes in the canvas, construction vehicles parked themselves next to mounds of dirt and rubble on the left with an expansive clearing on the right. "A monument dedicated to giving smiles to the people, where it stood for decades, now only a void remains, in both here and in our hearts. You shall be missed, old friend."

"Well, that sucks," Wendy said miffed. "So what are we going to do now?"

Johan smiled, "The mall wasn't the only place we used to hang out. We can always go somewhere else."

"Yeah, I guess we can take a detour. But man, we had so many memories at that mall. Now they're all gone."

"They're not gone, Wendy. The building may have been torn down, but the memories will always live inside of us."

"Look at you, being all poetic."

"Well, writing is my hobby." They both chuckle. "Come on. Let's go somewhere-"

"Wendy?" another voice was heard as they turn their attention toward its direction.

"Francesca? Hera?" Wendy called back as the two approached them. "Is this a coincidence or what? What are you two doing down here?"

"We wanted to see the mall," Francesca said. "After hearing your stories about it, we figured it was worth checking out."

"But it's so out of the way. Don't tell me you drove all the way here just for that."

"We did, but looks like we might have the wrong address."

"No, this is the right one. They tore it down. It's gone forever."

"What a shame," responded Hera. "I would've loved to visit when it was still standing. I've never been to a mall before."

"I know, right? It's too bad. Me and Johan wanted to relive old memories."

"Oh, is Johan with you?"

"Of course. Haven't you noticed?" Wendy turned to their left but Johan was not present as he remained a few feet away from them. "He must be remembering the good times we had. He's a bit of a nostalgic."

"I see," Francesca said. "In any case, we're just traveling around the city."

"Oh, that sounds great. Are you going on a date? Ha ha."

"No," Hera said, "We just wanted to explore the city. We're just hanging out. Since the mall is gone, we might as well continue on our tour."

"That sounds like a plan. Me and Johan were about to head somewhere else for our trip down memory lane. Why don't you come and join with us"

"Is that okay?" Francesca commented. "We don't want to impose on your schedule."

"There is no schedule. This is all impromptu. We welcome the company. Let me notify Johan about-" A great tug on their arm interrupted Wendy as Johan pulled them away to the side.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm inviting my friends."

"I thought it was just the two of us."

"It was, now we have two more."

"No, Wendy. This whole excursion was about just us trying to relive our carefree days."

"Yeah and we're still doing that."

"But why are you inviting others?"

"What of it? We used to have more friends, remember?"

"But those friends are long gone."

"And now we have new ones."

"We?"

Wendy gave Johan an irritated look. "Is there something you find wrong about my friends?"

"No, I don't."

"Then you shouldn't have any complaints about them."

"But this isn't about them. This is about us and the good times we had."

"We can still have a good time. I don't know why more people is a bother when you used to be so open to more friends."

"But this isn't about the new, it's about remembering the past, as you mentioned earlier. This invitation defeats the purpose of the trip."

"Johan, why are you protesting so much? What is wrong with you? Is there a problem you have with Francesca and Hera?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Well, I'm just saying that you ditch them the first time you met. You even stepped out when I invited Francesca the last time. It's like you're actively avoiding them."

"I felt uncomfortable at that time."

"Just like right now, right?"

A vexed look was on Johan's face. "I just don't want them, or anyone, to hang out with us."

"Johan, you're pouting like a little kid right now. How about you give me a really good reason why we can't invite them other than you don't like them."

"I never said I didn't like them."

"But you clearly don't like them either if this is your first response. Why don't you just be honest with me and tell me why they can't come with us?"

Johan looks over at the two women, fully aware of the heated debate happening a few yards away from them. Seeing the thin Francesca holding hands with the more muscular Hera, and turning his attention to the only friend he had left who was clearly irritated by his words, he sighed, "Alright, fine. They can come."

"Good," said Wendy boldly. "That's the Johan I know. Now, let's all get in your car."

"Yes, my car," he said contemptibly.

Once all four got into his vehicle, they took off to look for other activities.

"Where are you headed next?" Hera asked.

"We haven't decided yet," Wendy said. "Oh, wait, there was this Italian restaurant me and Johan used to frequent. Maybe we should check it out."

"Oh, Italian. Doesn't that sound romantic?" Francesca said.

"I wouldn't know anything about that.”

"Come on, Wendy. Don't be shy."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you and Johan, right? It's so obvious."

"What about me and Johan?"

"Well, aren't you a couple? I mean, he's very handsome. You got quite the catch."

Wendy laughed. "Johan is just my friend. We've been friends since high school."

"Are you sure? Because that's a long time for a boy and girl to be just friends."

Wendy's laughter was now forceful, "Okay, Francesca, I think we should drop this topic."

"What do you mean? I was just-"

"Francesca," Hera interrupts, "looks like we're entering uncomfortable territory."

Francesca's mood suddenly shifts as she now changed her tone. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say something inappropriate. I'm sorry Wendy."

"No, don't worry about it," Wendy answers as they laugh awkwardly.

"As long as they're okay with it," Hera says, "Besides, there's plenty of romance right here."

Francesca gets all giddy, "Oh, Hera. You're so romantic."

"No, I'm not. I'm terrible at being romantic."

"Don't say that. You're so wonderful and passionate. You are also strong but sensitive. You always know when to be considerate, unlike me."

Hera strokes Francesca's chin, "I would be nothing without you. Before I met you, I was too ruthless and ignorant. I would shout and felt like punching anyone who I felt was offending me. You were the one who kept me in line. I became sensitive because of you. I was a wild tiger, and you tamed me."

"Oh, Hera."

"Oh, Francesca."

As the two in the backseat were being intimate with each other, Wendy couldn't help but give a cheeky smile as they looked through the rearview window. They wanted to get a look at Johan's reaction and found one of irritation and anger. His hands were gripping the steering wheel as if he was intending to break it in half with a piercing look on his eyes scrunched up as his concentration appeared to be staring beyond the world in front of him while he ground his teeth.

"Johan..." Wendy said with much concern.

"JOHAN WATCH OUT!" shouts Francesca, snapping Johan out of his trance in time to witness the truck that was coming toward him. A thousand images flashed in front of his eyes before he spun the steering wheel as far as he could while stomping on the break. By a few inches, his car narrowly avoided a collision with the truck as it streaks across the intersection, the screeching tires reverberating against the buildings around them. The car thumps against the curve, all passengers jerked forward from the momentum, and friction eventually halts the car leaving behind a trail of smoke.

No one inside dare to move as the smoke cleared up. None more so than Johan as his eyes were as wide as he could open them. Moments of silence passed and when the smoke finally made way, he opened the car door, stepped out and walked away.