The first time I reincarnated into a fantasy world, I survived all of twelve hours. Maybe a little less. Hard to say for sure, since I didn’t have a phone on me. But less than a day and a night.

The second time I lasted a bit longer, making it all the way to falling asleep for the night. Though I didn’t manage to wake up.

The third time, something weird happened right away, and I’m not entirely sure because of all the flashing light and intense pain, but I think I may have been either summoned or sacrificed (or maybe both) by a weird cult. Needless to say, my stay in that world was the shortest yet.

After that, I stopped counting. The longer it went on, the more I started noticing about the worlds themselves. I paid closer attention to the wildlife if I found myself in the wild, to the people if in a town or city. I listened. I felt.

And, of course, I died. A lot. Apparently most fantasy worlds have a high fatality rate for random people appearing out of nowhere.

I was fortunate, after a few months of this, to finally find a family willing to take me in. A very poor family. In the mountains. In the dead of winter. Right after the Dark Lord’s armies had passed through. That time, I managed to starve to death instead of being violently slain, and at least I had a decently comfortable place to do it in. A small upside, but an upside nonetheless.

Still, it was a nice and peaceful break in the monotony of wandering lost until being violently killed.

My next few incarnations ranged from decent to horrible. I was taken in by a group of ‘travelers’ only to be beaten, robbed, and left to die in a ditch. I avoided all humans, managed to set a snare for squirrels, and was eaten by a marauding beast who jumped on me from a nearby tree. I couldn’t even tell what it was, apart from furry, big, and very very deadly.

My fortune seemed so bad that, when I finally found myself in a clean and well-kept city, I couldn’t help being skittish and paranoid. The guards found me suspicious, and I spent the rest of that lifetime in a prison cell. Then I was tried for witchcraft, convicted, and burned. Not fun. I don’t recommend it.

I did learn something that time, though. During my trial, they tested my ‘witchcraft’ with a glowy ball thing, and I felt a faint sort of connection to it, or through it. I spent my next several lives meditating on that feeling, trying to recreate it.

Sometimes I almost managed. Most times, I just managed to sit uncomfortably for hours until being killed or devoured. Usually both.

I’d stopped worrying about food or drink. I knew my lifespan wouldn’t be sufficient to worry. So if I spent a few hours feeling a bit parched or hungry, it didn’t matter. Wasting valuable time in foraging or seeking a river would be pointless in the long run. All that mattered was knowledge. Information about myself, about the world(s) in which I found myself, and about the people and creatures around me.

And then I found it. The connection. It wasn’t within me, nor outside me, in any traditional way. I wasn’t even important. I was a link within a chain, a backup phone line, the grounding pin in an electric plug.

No. Nothing like that. None of those come close.

I wasn’t the source of the power, nor its destination. Merely a conduit, who could draw off a little of its potential for myself.

Or so I hoped.

I shivered through a day on a mountaintop, trying to hold the connection longer than a fraction of a second. I drowned within moments in an endless sea, dragged deeper by unseen creatures grasping and biting. I sat in an oasis, my hands faintly glowing, too focused on not losing the slippery power I held to do anything to discern its uses.

The power came easier in my next life. I held it the entirety of my three-day stay. I wasn’t in a beast-infested area, apparently, nor did I encounter any other people. I eventually went searching for food, moving slowly and carefully at first, keeping my thoughts focused on holding the power. I glowed through the night, finding berries by my own personal illumination. Then the next day, I found a birch tree and nibbled on its bark and leaves. Couldn’t find water. Oh, well.

The next time I arrived in a town I tried not to act like I had anything to hide, and emphatically did not attempt to connect with the power sliding through me. It was surprisingly hard. Somehow, holding it had become comfortable and familiar. It was just a thing I did by default. Like breathing, only softer and brighter. I slipped up a few times.

I still hadn’t figured out what it could do. It just felt better to have it all through me instead of just a tiny bit in my head or heart or soul or whatever you call the place it lived. It wanted to be everywhere, too, now it knew I could hold it.

I left town, relieved to be able to have my power to myself again, and set out into the wilderness. It was safer out there. I’d rather be quickly eaten by a ravenous beast than imprisoned and executed. But there were too many people to escape that easily.

I spent the night in a barn, and didn’t resist when the angry farmer threatened me with his pitchfork. In a pleasant surprise, he decided I was a desperate fool rather than an adversary and invited me in for dinner. Then his wife slit my throat the moment I started glowing. Got to keep a better handle on that. Or live away from people.

The next time was the first life I actually contemplated trying to survive again. I’d gotten so used to dying again and again that it seemed rather a novel concept. I could build a structure. I could make myself weapons. I could grow crops and tame beasts and become a hermit in the wild. If I found a defencible enough location, I could even stay in the same place, comfortably, and study my power without interference.

It was a nice dream. I lasted almost two weeks that time.

Then I found myself in a cave, alone with the comfortable white light of my power, and I realized what I was missing. I needed a dream. I needed a goal. Now that I’d succeeded in my last one of holding onto what was entrusted to me, I needed to do something more than just hold it.

I missed my fledgling home. I enjoyed the idea of building something lasting and mine and permanent.

I carved the words into the wall with a stone. BUILD HOME. PROTECT HOME. PROVIDE FOR SELF. SURVIVE.

It seemed a pretty pitiful list. But, at that time, it was everything I needed. My growing apathy faded, passion re-ignited.

I could always add other goals like 'CONQUER WORLD' or 'FIND ANYONE WORT HANGING OUT WITH' after I had a house and a weapon. And something better to write long sentences with. Because seriously, it took me like two hours to carve out that little thing, I certainly wasn't going to try anything bigger.

I would build a home. I would protect it and provide for myself. I would stop the cycle of endless death.

Someone stabbed me in the back. My glow went out. I stared into the darkness, resolve fracturing. I sighed, prepared for the slow agony of dying again.

Blue light flared to life, a harsh glow that illuminated my words on the wall.

“You want to survive? Come with me.” A male voice, speaking an understandable language. Strangely non-reassuring, considering the high probability that this dude was the one who stabbed me.

I gasped in pain, staring up at the blue-glowing form leaning over me. “How? You just stabbed me!”

“Just to quiet you. Come. They will have heard.”

“Who, what are you talking about, and why should I care?”

“Get up. Come with me. Or stay and die.”

I realized that the glow extended toward me was his hand. I considered refusing, then shrugged. “Alright.” I took hold of him, and my own power sparked to life. White and blue shone harshly off our surroundings, illuminating the area so brightly that we both winced in unison.

“Hurry!” He tugged on my hand.

I staggered after him, trying not to scream. I let out a dignified grunt of pain instead, then panted, “have I mentioned yet that you freaking stabbed me?!”

“For all the good it did. Quiet. Follow.”

I did, because I didn’t actually want to die again and, well, I was going to be in pain for some time whether I lived or not, so may as well.

Then he pulled me into a dark alcove in the cavern’s wall, clamped his hand over my mouth, and stabbed his blade into my chest.

“Mmmoph!”

My glow flicked out, then so did his own. I bit him. His blue light briefly flared up in response, but he suppressed it quickly. And he didn’t let go. I choked on his blood, gagging and retching. I couldn't even rail against him, couldn't shout 'What is wrong with you, crazy cave guy?!' and instead just spat and bit and kicked and grunted. Despite my best efforts, he didn't release me.

We stood there a long time. My blood was soaking my clothing. His blood was sliding down my throat. It was thoroughly disgusting and uncomfortable. It was a relief when I finally lost consciousness, then died.

“WHERE AM I?!”

I sat up and thumped my forehead against the nearest tree. Mr. Caveman was even uglier now I could see him in broad foresty daylight.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, reluctantly.

“SORCERER! What have you done to me?!”

I shrugged. “You attacked me, repeatedly. I want nothing to do with you either. Go away.”

“Where is my cavern? Where are my books? Where is my weapon?”

“No idea. Not here. Maybe somewhere else on the planet. Maybe in another dimension entirely. Go looking. It doesn’t bother me.”

He glowed blue. I’d been glowing white this whole time, so I wasn’t impressed. Then he grabbed my throat, and his hands were bigger than mine and his muscles considerably stronger than my own. I kicked and struggled, but to no avail. You'd think I would've realized before then that staying in his vicinity was a bad move.

It wasn’t quite my shortest life yet, but it came close.

At least I could be rid of—

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!!!”

“Drat.”

I lay where I’d awakened, not bothering to even sit up. It was sandy and warm, anyway.

“Are you going to be following me around from now on?”

“WHY ARE WE ON A BEACH NOW?!! WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD?! I JUST KILLED YOU!!”

“First, lower your voice. You’re giving me a headache. Second, I have no idea. I’m the worst person to ask. This is all happening to me as much as to you.”

“It’s your fault! I never faced this nonsense before you and your noisy power came drawing the Vachny on us!”

“Oooh, the Vachny, I guess I should apologize,” I said sarcastically. “Like I said back in the vaguely ancient forest. Go away. Do your own thing. I don’t care. At all. I literally could not care less about your existence.”

“You don’t care? I’ll MAKE you care!”

He jumped on me, and I kneed him viciously, then scrambled back away before he could retaliate. It didn’t buy me as much time as I’d hoped.

He roared inarticulately and charged.

I kicked sand into his face and tried to gain more space. He choked, coughed, wiped at his eyes, then charged again. I’d circled around him by then, so when he charged past my nimble sidestep he stepped off the incline and smacked face-first into the water.

“Oooh, ouch. Have fun with the tentacle-thingies down there buddy. Won’t miss ya.”

He managed to get his head above water and gasp for air, one hand grasping at the sandy ledge, but I kicked it off and he submerged again. I scanned the area for tentacle things, but didn’t find any.

There were little biting fishes, though, and they quickly distracted him from trying to climb out and redirected his attention to trying to get them off himself. I sat down to watch the show, wondering exactly how long it had been since popcorn had been a normal part of my life. Too long. I’d need to reinvent it or something.

He slowly stopped struggling, twitching occasionally, and I stood to dust myself off. That took care of one—

“Ow, what?!” This time it was my turn to exclaim in horror and confusion. Instead of sitting by the shore, I stood under a tree. Whose branch I’d just collided with. I rubbed at my head. “Why in the world—”

Then I saw Mr. Caveman, lying on the ground and glaring. I ran. He didn’t waste time, roaring and charging at me again.

“Just go away!” I shouted, but he didn’t listen.

I think that may have been my fastest death yet.

I don’t really remember how many times he killed me before he tired of it. He got very good at it. I began to wonder if this was actually hell.

But, finally, he stopped killing me and lay still. I got to my feet and tentatively walked away. He didn’t follow.

Well, that was weird. Glad it was over, I found a nice empty patch of ground and started plotting out my new home. This time I was in a pretty sparse scrubland, rocky hills everywhere and no trees to be found, so I’d have to do some stone breaking. Modern tools would be so useful, but it seemed the vast majority of dimensions had skipped the industrial revolution and remained stuck at somewhere between feudal and renaissance.

I couldn’t be precisely certain it was a new world each time, but from the times I’d been around during the night the skies seemed fairly unfamiliar. One had two moons. Most had one. The stars were the big difference though. It’s weird how much you get used to the normal star layout. You wouldn’t think a sky of stars would really be that different, but I could always tell it was wrong the few times I lived that long.

I’d started breaking ground with the heel of my boot when everything changed again. I sighed. Mr. Caveman lay there, a few meters away from me, on this forested island in the middle of a lake. He didn’t seem to have moved since the last time I saw him.

I sighed. Guess I needed to do some pep talking, if I didn’t want to get pulled off to a new world every time he got himself killed.

I cleared my throat. “Listen, dude. I get it. You were yanked somehow from your comfy cave and dragged all over wherever because of something you don’t understand. I get it. I’ve been living this nonsense life for. . . months? Years? A long time. It doesn’t really have many perks. But if you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you, then lying here isn’t going to help. I think we need to work together if we want to survive.”

“Why would I want to survive?" His voice was listless, uncaring. "My life’s work is gone. My life is gone. You stole them, and you stole my soul, and now I’m a slave of the Dark One. Forever in the thrall of his sorcerer.”

“I’m no sorcerer, nor am I allied with any Dark One of anything. Why do people keep assuming that?”

“You ring with the echoes of death and pain.”

“Yeah, whatever that means. And it might be because I’m the one always dying in pain, did you ever consider that?”

“It matters not. I am done. My life is ended. Even vengeance is denied me. Go, dark sorcerer. I will not aid thee.”

Well. I guess telling him that every time he died it would be a problem for me was right out. He’d probably just smile and say that he was happy to die if it made me suffer. Heck, he might even start killing himself just to tick me off.

As if I needed another problem to deal with.

At least on a tiny island in a giant lake there was nothing trying to eat us, so we had time to talk this through. Or try to. He didn’t seem interested in doing much of anything besides lying there and inconveniencing me.

So I lay down next to him. He growled and rolled a few feet away from me, his own blue glow flickering as though he couldn’t make up his mind whether to keep it on or off.

I got closer. He moved away.

“You’re going to end up in the water at this rate,” I warned.

“Good,” he grunted. “Then I’ll be somewhere else.”

“But so will I. That doesn’t change. We’re stuck together.”

“Dark sorcerer.”

“Not dark. Not a sorcerer. Just another person like you, stuck in this weird reincarnation cycle or whatever it is.”

“Not like me.”

“No, I guess I’m not, am I?”

We lay in silence. He scooted slightly farther away. I sighed, and let him have his distance. I’d rather not get him killed just yet anyway. This was a pretty nice spot.

“You’re absolutely unwilling to consider working with me for any reason, aren’t you?” I finally asked.

“Yes.”

“Hmm. Can I ask you why?”

“I believe my feelings on the matter are clear. You are evil. I will have no part of your dark designs. Release me from your thrall, or I shall do nothing but be a millstone about your neck.”

“Hmm. Well, that’s a problem. Since I didn’t make you my thrall, and I have no idea how to release you even if I did.”

“You are evil.”

“Am not,” I retorted, then immediately felt stupid. I fell silent.

“I was courting,” he said at last.

“Relevant how?”

“You should know. It is not only my own life you have ruined.”

“Well, that would make me feel bad, if I had even the slightest amount of control over what’s been happening. But I don’t, so I’m afraid your attempt at guilting is misplaced.”

“Dark god cares nothing for the lives of those beneath him. I expect nothing more from his sorcerer.”

“Will you stop it with the dark sorcerer nonsense?! I’m just an ordinary person from an ordinary world.”

Well, maybe an extraordinary one. Given that we had stuff like electricity and working communication, oh, and a notable absence of huge violent monsters everywhere. But I was certainly no sorcerer.

“If I were a sorcerer, though,” I asked after a pause, “what sort of powers would I have?”

“I know not. Sorcery is forbidden.”

I snorted derisively. “Really. That’s what you can tell me? ‘Sorcerey is forbidden’? So how do you know what it looks like?”

“Smells like. Death. Pain.”

“Ah, right. And who told you that?”

He shrugged. “No one needs to tell. It’s common knowledge. Everyone knows.”

“Right.”

I had to think of another angle of attack, because this was going nowhere.

“What was she like?”

He didn’t answer.

I tried again. “Why were you in that creepy cave?”

“I was studying the Vachny.”

“And what’s a Vachny?”

“THE Vachny. Not a. Only one. Heavens preserve us, I pray there is only one.” He drew a sort of infinity loop on his side with his right forefinger, trailing away down his leg at the end.

“Yeah, so what’s the Vachny?”

“You should know,” he said, but without his usual vehemence. “Another dark creation of the evil gods.”

“So which is it? God, singular, or gods plural? I don’t understand your whole theology here.”

“There are seven evil gods, of whom the Dark One is the chief. The Vachny was created by them all working in concert.”

“Oh, so he’s even more evil than a sorcerer would be?”

“Yes.”

"And presumably more powerful, dangerous, and otherwise scary?"

"Yes."

"And a greater blight upon the face of the world, which must be eradicated at any cost?"

"Yes."

“So, what if I agree to help you hunt and kill this Vachny thing? Would that convince you that I’m not evil?”

He considered it a long moment. “The ways of the Dark One are mysterious,” he said hesitantly.

“But can you really imagine he’d allow one of his sorcerers to hunt this great creation of the whole dark pantheon?”

“No, he would not. The other six would hold him to account, and they are not merciful.”

“There we have it then,” I said, relieved. “So get up and let’s hunt us a Vachny. The Vachny, sorry.”

I offered my hand to him. He stared at it, still not convinced. I sighed.

“Come on, man, what’s it take? Do I have to offer my firstborn or something to get you to stand up?”

“Sorcerers cannot have children.”

“Well, great. I don’t have time to prove to you that I can, nor do I really want to use that method. Imagine if you found out your parents only had you because one of them wanted to prove a point to a stranger. Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

He gave a short abortive sort of laugh, as though afraid it would taint his soul if anything I said amused him, but he took my hand and heaved himself to his feet.

I let out a relieved breath. “There we go. Now, how do we find this Vachny creature?”

“I will learn the way.”

He began glowing blue, then the power intensified and began to expand away from his body. I wished I knew how to do that. Or do anything other than glow, really. It was helpful for finding my way around in the dark, but not much else.

Then the glow detached itself from him, coalescing into a brilliant blue orb maybe a half meter in diameter. It swooped around him in a slow circle, gaining altitude as it did, then exploded. Blue light faded away, leaving my eyes dazzled and the surroundings dim.

“Did you find it?” I asked.

“No.” He drew that loopy thing on his side again. “According to this, the Vachny no longer exists.”

“There we go! Problem solved.”

Well, or we were so many worlds away by now that we’d have been insanely lucky to pick up its signal, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. Anything to keep him on his feet and not at my throat.

“I do not understand.”

“Maybe whatever weird magic thingy tied your soul to mine also destroyed the wretch in the process. Maybe we’re now holy warriors and should travel together righting wrongs across the countryside.”

I hated how cheerful I sounded while saying that. It was only a bare step up from absolutely wretched, but I’d take anything at this point that wasn't endless pointless death and rebirth. I tried that, did it to death, and was trying to move on. If not for this idiot I'd have already started on my new house a dozen times over.

He raised his chin in defiance. “I do not trust you, twisted one. You threw me off a cliff into the ocean to die.”

“After you tried to strangle me! Again! It was self-defence, man.”

“Then swear on your name and your soul that you have no compact with the Dark One or the evil gods.”

“How?”

“Say it.”

“Oh, um. . . Sure. I swear on my name and soul that I have no compact with the dark or evil gods.”

He sighed. “You must say your name. Like so.” He began glowing blue again. “I, Kavos of Tyros, swear on my name and my soul that I have no compact with the Dark One or the evil gods.”

The blue glow flared once, then settled. He let it fade away.

“Okay, cool. I, Yorre Emeric of Earth, swear on my name and my soul that I have no compact with the Dark One or the evil gods.”

My own aura flared once, then settled. I didn’t try to make it leave. I enjoyed the feeling and the glow came in handy.

"Hmmm." Kavos looked skeptical, but finally nodded. “Then let us crusade across this empty land, with naught but our pure hearts and the memory of those we once held dear.”

His voice choked up a bit as he said it. I barely managed to resist the childish urge to roll my eyes at him.

This was going to be a long and frustrating trip.

So, actually, it was a very short and frustrating trip.

Apparently the lake was acid. We didn’t make it to shore.

“So, here’s the deal. For whatever reason, we keep. . . I’m going to just call it ‘respawning’ for lack of an appropriate term, in random locations every time either one of us dies. So far, we’ve kept our memories, skills, physical bodies, and period-appropriate garb of approximate equivalent value to what we had previously.”

I didn’t feel like mentioning the ‘alternate realities’ part of my hypothesis, for obvious reasons. The less unbalanced I could keep the fragile mental state of Kavos of Tyros, who despite appearing to be a big strong caveman was actually a bit of a sissy, the better.

He grunted in reply. I took that as encouragement, and continued.

“This particular location is not ideal for building our new home, nor for engaging in holy crusadery. Thus, I propose that we instead spend our time here in discussion and study, since knowledge is our most valuable asset.”

He snorted. Kavos, for all his vehemence, seemed to be a man of fewer words than I could have hoped.

I gestured around at the pale white-gold dust that surrounded us. “Unless you know how to build houses out of sand, or construct weapons with it, or do anything but sit here slowly drying out, I’ll assume you agree with my assessment of our respective goals.”

I’m actually not sure if he grunted in reply to me, or if he was just snoring. Come to think of it, pretty much definitely just snoring.

Well, that gave me a few hours of peace and relative quiet in which to explore the potential of this weird glowy magic I apparently possessed. Whether I’d gotten it before my first death or at some point during my way-too-long sojourn through world after world, I had it now and it wasn’t leaving.

I’d seen Kavos use his own blue glow to perform some sort of seeking spell, but he was the only person I’d ever met not to slay me on sight for being able to glow. Well, come to think of it, he did kill me on sight the first time we met. And quite a few times after that. And called me a Dark Sorcerer of the evil ones. . .

I piled some sand up into a mound.

Thinking about magic was all well and good, but it never really went anywhere. I’d made exactly one breakthrough - going from ‘there’s some kinda weird connection thingy in my mind/soul/head’ to ‘there’s some kinda weird glowy magic thingy all through my body and now I can see around myself in the dark’. Not exactly encouraging progress there.

The sand was too slippery to use as a building material. Instead, I started drawing out small-scale blueprints.

I’d need to either include rooms for Kavos, or build him a structure of his own. Assuming I could dissuade him from becoming a wandering crusader. I should never have offered that as an option, but at the time I was getting pretty desperate.

Still, every wandering crusader needs a home base. We could take turns. Spend the summer taking care of the house, garden, and flocks, then crusade across the lands in the winter when there’s nothing better to do and no carrots to plant or harvest.

I didn’t know enough about architecture to feel comfortable adding a second floor. Whatever structure we made would be low and wide, rather than tall. I had only minimal experience working with wood, and none working with stone. Basically my knowledge extended to ‘cut a notch in a tree so it falls away from you and you don’t die’.

“Kavos? You awake?”

He snorted in reply. Or just snored. Maybe I should stop assuming he was answering me when he clearly has other things on his mind.

“That’s fine. I’ll just pretend you’re listening. I think we should put the kitchen at the center of the house. I know, an unconventional decision, but hear me out on this. In the summer—”

CLANG!

I jerked upright, dove to the side in the same motion, and flung a handful of sand in the direction of the sound.

“KAVOS!”

He startled awake, looking around. Then he noticed me and the sand, and he slumped in disappointment.

“Still not a dream,” he muttered.

I ignored his complaint and looked around wildly, searching for the source of the sound. But we were alone. “I heard a sound. A very loud one, metallic, from that direction.”

He shrugged. “I see nothing there.”

“Me neither. Which is a problem.” I gathered up more sand. “I’m going to walk toward it. Cover me.”

“With sand?”

I growled. “No, I mean, watch my back.”

“Why? What do you intend on doing with your back?”

“You’re hopeless. Just. . . Keep an eye out.”

“No! Barbarian. My eyes will remain in my head.”

My eyes rolled without my conscious consent. “You’re a walking stereotype, you know that?”

“I should probably be offended, but most of what you say is meaningless.”

CLANG! CLANG!

I jumped, cursed under my breath, and glowered at my unwelcome companion. “If someone attacks me, hit them. Okay?”

“This is a sensible plan. Why did you not suggest it earlier?”

“I did, but you didn’t understand.”

I set off in the direction of the clanging sounds. The sand shifted awkwardly under my feet. I wasn’t used to deserts, even after so many sojourns across the worlds. Usually, they were an uncomfortably warm place to dehydrate in, but not something I wasted energy trying to traverse.

CLANG CLANG CLANG!

I frowned. The sounds were coming from back toward our base. Well, I call it a base, but it was really a patch of ground with a few person-shaped imprints and my half-finished sketch.

I walked slowly back the way I’d come, trying to tell if there was an invisible person around.

CLANG!

I stopped. That actually sounded very, very close. And the ground beneath me vibrated in the same moment.

“Kav, come help me dig.” I started pawing handfuls of sand out of the way, digging a shallow hole. Kavos joined me, and together we dug down several feet before the hole was too wide to efficiently continue digging. The sand kept sliding back down in.

“Is this the beginning stage of that house you never stop talking about?”

“No.”

CLANG CLANG!

Kavos tensed, looking around. “What is that strange sound?”

“Something underground, but I don’t know how we can reach it.”

“Is that why we are digging? To reach a deep cavern?” He seemed more excited about that than anything else we’d done.

“Perhaps. I don’t know for sure.” I was secretly hoping to find a proper modern bunker, maybe like Area 51, and find a convenient plane parked there which we could borrow. But a cave where we could get out of the unbearable heat would be a nice thing too.

“Stand back, Yorre.” Kavos gestured away from the hole, and I backed away. He began glowing blue, igniting my lingering desire to figure out how exactly he did anything useful at all with whatever magical ability we shared.

The glow separated itself from his body, as before, then compressed into a thin curved sheet, pointed like an arrowhead at one corner. The glowing wedge spun around Kavos in a spiral, starting by his chest and descending until it sliced into the ground and out of sight. Kavos stood staring into the distance, his eyes half closed.

I waited, half expecting some spectacular show of light, or sand to start flying in every direction, but no. Kavos just stood there, in our shallow hole, staring into the middle distance.

For minutes.

It was hot. I grew bored. I moved behind him and sat down in his shadow.

Then the blue glow flashed back around him and he stiffened. “Impossible,” he breathed.

I jumped to my feet. “What? What is it?”

He exhaled slowly, the glow vanishing from around him as he did so. “A city. Beneath us lies an entire city.”

I grinned. “Great! How do we get down.”

Kavos turned to me, shaking his head. “We do not want to get down. And we should leave. Now.”

“Why?”

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG!

“Because they are coming up.”

“Still not seeing the downside here. Running around in the desert seems preferable to you?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t try to convince me, just started running. I frowned after him, then shrugged and sat down instead. If either of us died, we’d both be skipping on out to the next world in line, so it didn’t really matter if we were dehydrated in the desert or set upon by city-dwellers.

I couldn’t pretend not to be a little worried. Kavos was more often moved to rage than to fear, but without knowing exactly what he’d learned I couldn’t tell if it was justified or just him being weird.

CLANG CLANG!

I waited.

CLANG!

It was very hot.

CLANG CLANG CLANG!

Then, with a FROOOH and a WHUMP, an entire section of desert lifted into the air and swung open, dust flying in every direction.

I remembered just in time that most people preferred to kill me the moment they realized I glowed white, so I forcefully suppressed the power I constantly drew on. I felt cold and lonely without it, shivering despite the heat, but didn’t risk letting it back in.

Then a group of creatures emerged from the tunnel, snarling and spreading out in a wedge. I ducked down, suddenly glad I sat in the depression we’d made - maybe I could escape their notice here.

No such luck. A moment later, one hissed and grabbed my shirt, dragging me to my feet.

“Hey, gentle, your fingernails could do with a trim.”

“Ersond,” hissed the creature holding me. Up close, I could see it vaguely resembled a werewolf, if werewolves were real and bipedal and had faces like angry lions. So maybe a werelion? Was that a thing?

Then the beast holding me snarled, and I noticed that I’d unconsciously reached for my power. I glowed again, white and comfortable, and my frantic mind couldn’t remember how to make it stop.

“Sorry, sorry, I don’t mean to upset you,” I babbled. Why was I so terrified? It didn’t make sense. I’d been killed and eaten by worse creatures than these. So why did I hang stiff with horror in the creature’s grip, unable to even think straight?

Then another creature emerged, very obviously female, larger than any of the others. She glowed a vibrant green, a terrifying shade utterly unlike my own comfortable white or Kavos’s deep blue. The moment I saw her, my fear intensified yet again, and I could no longer think at all.

I could never remember what happened next, just a nightmare collage of fear and horror that refused to cement itself. In a way, it was harder to combat. When I woke, the fear remained even though I could think of no reason for it.

“You are released,” said a deep gutteral voice. I couldn’t tell if it was a male or female voice, but I shivered and rubbed at my arms until enough of the lingering terror dissipated for me to remember how to bring my glow back.

White power flared to light around me, illuminating the area. The speaker hissed and shrank back, golden eyes widening.

It was another of the lion creatures, dark-furred, crouching in the corner of the. . . Room? Cell?

“Deathlight,” it whispered, cringing away from me. “Spare me.”

“Um, what?”

“Spare me. I am only a messenger. I have no harm intended to you or any of your thralls.”

I sighed. “Thralls again? What is it about me that screams ‘dark sorcerer’?”

“Deathlight.”

“Yeah, you say that, but I. . .” Then I paused, looked down at myself. White glow. I suppressed it, darkness returning. “Is that what you’re talking about? My glow? Is that Deathlight?”

“Yes, yesss, Deathlight. I didn’t know, when I was sent to you. . .” Then, to my surprise, it started sobbing. Screeching, coughing sobs, but distinct. “I am meant to be a sacrifice,” it said, its deep growling voice almost soft.

“Well,” I said brightly, allowing the light to return. “Lucky for you, I may have a Deathlight, but I’m not feeling like I need any sacrifices right now, so you’re safe. In fact, if you can let me out, I promise I’ll never harm you.”

“I cannot,” the creature growled.

“Well, what can you do? You said you were a messenger, what was your message?”

“That you are released.”

I glanced around at the very solid walls surrounding us. “Released. . .?”

“From the Queen’s power. You may think, speak, and. . .” It shivered, and stopped talking.

“Alright, so the queen is the green-glowing one who apparently can invoke mindless terror, and. . .” I paused, wondering if that’s why Kavos ran off. If his blue magic looking thing caught sight of her. “And you’ve been given to me as some kind of placation because everyone thinks I’m a dark sorcerer.”

“You are not?”

“Of course not! I’m just a normal person who happens to glow white instead of blue or green or whatever other colours are socially acceptable around here.”

“Frostshade,” the creature growled. “Is not socially acceptable.”

“Is anything?”

“Steamlight, Wavelight, Mistlight. These can be used freely, safely.”

“But not deathlight or frostshade, whatever that means.”

“Nor Stormshade or Stoneshade. Lifeshade is different, but no one has seen a Lifeshade in generations.”

“Wonderful. Thanks for the collection of nonsense words. I’ll be sure to remember them all in case there’s a quiz later.”

Brightness surrounded me, sudden and harsh. The transition from dim to brilliant made me cry out and cover my eyes.

“I could not find you.”

It took me a moment to place the voice, then I turned and squinted against the brightness.

“Kavos?”

“I am ashamed,” he said.

“Good. Where— of course.” He’d died, had to be. How long was I lost in the underqueen’s fear? Apparently long enough for Kavos to get himself done in one way or another.

I looked around now that my eyes had adjusted. There wasn’t much to see. Snow, in every direction. A sky so pale blue it almost looked white. I turned to look behind us, and found even more snow.

“Well. It’s contrast, at least.”

“I should not have abandoned you.”

“Well, at least I got a bunch of words now. If I’m inferring correctly, they said that Frostshade was not socially acceptable. Is that you?”

“Yes.”

I nodded, relieved to have guessed correctly. “So, there’re eight kinds of magic, each a unique glow colour? Four are light, four are shade, and my white power is Deathshade, the most reviled and universally hated?”

“I know not. I am Frostshade, and was sent by my people to hunt the Vachny.”

“When we first met, you killed me.”

“I did not mean to. I was trying to silence you, but I may have stabbed too deeply. I was never good with my knives.”

“That’s so reassuring.”

“They could suppress powerglows.”

“Good for you?” I said absently, looking around again in case I’d missed any distinguishing features the first time. “Do you think this is from a snowstorm, or a perpetually frozen area? Because if it’s always snowy, we could build a home with ice blocks. Like an igloo.”

Kavos groaned. “Do you never tire of your small minded selfish desires?”

“Um, excuse me. Having a home is not small-minded or selfish. Well, I guess it could be selfish if you wanted it to the exclusion of all else—”

“Like you do.”

“I do not. Don’t you ever get tired of just dying and wandering around again and again?”

“Is that why you were scratching up my cavern? Because you were tired of dying?”

“No, it’s because I was tired of being purposeless.”

“I have purpose.”

“Do you? Because last I checked the Vachny is gone. Your family is gone. Your people, gone. How much purpose do you really have left?”

“Enough to stand. To fight. I will not hide in a corner while the world moves without me. I was always meant to seek out evil and destroy it.”

I sighed. “Listen, Kav, that’s real admirable and all, but without a stable base of operations we’re going to just keep dying again and again. How will you be able to do any good to anyone? At this rate, we won’t even leave any impact at all on the worlds we visit, let alone a positive one.”

Kavos didn’t reply.

“It’s not like ‘build a house’ is my ultimate end goal. It’s just the beginning. Once we have a defensible home, once we have weapons to protect ourselves, once we have food, then we can go about making the world a better place. Or do anything else. Set new goals. But it’s a pretty essential starting point.”

“You said worlds,” Kavos said, his voice low and tight. “The ‘worlds we visit’. What do you mean by that?”

Dang it! I should’ve been more careful.

Nothing else for it. I nervously tried to laugh it off. “Um, well, you know. There’s sand, there’s snow. Like different areas, right? Each ecosystem its own little wor—”

He’d grabbed me by the throat, cutting me off mid-sentence.

“So that is the secret. That is why we can be reborn again and again. Because we are not reborn. We are pushed from world to world, forbidden death as we are forbidden life. There is no Vachny here, but not because it was destroyed. Because you tore me away from my hunt and my world entirely. Because of you, my people will suffer and die. Because of you, I will forever live with the shame that it is my failure that allowed this evil to befall them. Because of you!”

I wanted to try and calm him down, but getting enough air to survive the next few minutes was a higher priority. I clawed at his hands, but dying several times hadn’t made him any weaker, nor me stronger. He still could hold me off the ground without seeming effort.

My vision started to blur, and his words lost their cohesion. I kicked ineffectively at him, then woke up lying on the ground.

“Please, let’s not do this again,” I said wearily, but Kavos bellowed and slammed his knee into my throat from what must’ve been a running jump. I heard and felt the snap, wincing as he made a new record for my shortest survival yet.

I tried to run.

I tried to reason with him.

I tried to fight back.

I tried glowing at inopportune times.

He killed me.

In the forests, in the deserts, in the jungle, in the swamp, on the mountainside.

He even chased me through the streets of a town while I screamed for help and tried very hard not to glow. But he was too big, too strong, and too fast. The strangers who tried to assist me were unable to restrain him, and again he ran me down.

“Do you even get any satisfaction from this?”

Hillside.

“Because it’s growing very tedious for me.”

Forest.

“I’d really rather we talked this through.”

Different forest, smaller trees.

“DECEIVER! I’ll rip your heart out as many times as it takes!”

Snowy forest.

“Ripping my heart out doesn’t change anything.”

He kept trying it for a while though.

“I never set out to deceive you. I promise, I only ever—”

Beach.

“—wanted to survive, I have no grudge against you or your people. I certainly—”

Clifftop. Oh cra—

Island.

“—wouldn’t try to—”

Craggy hills.

Swampy ruin.

“Oh, nevermind.”

Time.

Death.

Silence.

World after world after world.

Pain. Death.

Always death.

“I thought we got past this.”

“Haven’t you anything better to do with your life?”

“You could probably build a fortress out of all my dead bodies by now.”

“You know, there are definitely better ways to spend your life.”

“I can think of dozens right off the top of my head.”

Endless. Endless. Endless.

Pointless.

I stopped talking, stopped pleading.

I eventually started crying. I couldn’t help myself.

Frustration. Impotence.

I could run, but he was faster. I could fight, but he was stronger. Nothing I did mattered.

I died, and died, and died.

I ran. I lay still and waited. I glowed brighter, or pushed the Deathlight away. Nothing I did mattered.

“WHY?!” I screamed as I tried to flee, and he didn’t reply as he crushed my skull.

“WHY??!”

There was a set grimness about Kavos now, as though he enjoyed this no more than I did, as though he carried out a set of instructions more important to him than life or sanity.

“Please, don’t.”

My weariness was reflected in his expression, but he didn’t relent.

I couldn’t tell if either of us remained remotely sane any longer. But I didn’t feel insane, just tired. So tired. If there’d been a way to truly die, I’d have taken it years ago.

Sometimes I ran. Sometimes I fought. Sometimes I waited. Nothing I did mattered.

This time, I decided to run. I jumped up and ran, weaving between trees, hoping the obstacles would slow him down. Buy myself a few more seconds.

Surviving a few more seconds felt like a victory, at that point.

SNAP!

I glanced behind me, expecting to see Kavos about to kill me, but instead he lay on the ground, one leg snared in metal jaws anchored to the ground. A bear trap?

I didn’t care how or why, I turned and I ran.

I ran with sudden lightness, giddy laughter bubbling up from the depths of my soul.

I cried with relief, and ran faster.

Minutes.

Hours.

Glorious hours, minute after minute where I was alive and free and alive and free!

I ran, and ran, and didn’t stop until I reached a raging river too wide to cross.

“Hello, raging river!" I laughed. "If Kavos were here, he’d be throwing me in right about now. Or drowning me. Or smashing my head on those pointy rocks. But he isn’t here!”

I was raving, I supposed. Shouting aloud was foolish. But I couldn't make myself care.

Nothing could squelch my happiness. It had been ages and ages since I'd experienced anything so wonderful as this freedom. I could go anywhere. Do anything.

I laughed again, skipping along the river’s bank.

I was thirsty! I was hungry! I’d survived long enough to want to consume things again. It had been so long I’d almost forgotten what it felt like.

I scooped some water from the river, marveling at how crisp and cool and refreshing it was. I spun in a circle, throwing water into the air and letting it fall on my upturned face.

“Over that way, I thought I heard something.”

Panic ignited throughout my body, extinguishing my joy in an instant. I ran blindly, away from the river, away from the voices, just away. I couldn’t be found. If anyone found me, if I died, I’d be back within reach of that crazy caveman who had no sense and wouldn’t leave me alone.

I needed to find a safe place.

I needed something I could carry with me from life to life, world to world, something which could negate Kavos’s physical superiority. I could think of only one potential answer. I had to learn to use my power. I had to survive long enough to do so. Three minutes wasn’t enough, particularly when it was spent being chased down and killed. A power called Deathlight had to be useful for something. I had to get away. Hide. Survive.

I blundered out of the woods and across a meadow, downhill the whole way. A small village nestled beside the river, which emerged from the wood a good distance away to my left, so I veered right.

Once I was out of sight of the village, I slowed my pace. My side burned from the extended exercise and I could definitely tell I was hungry now. The handful of water had been insufficient; my mouth was dry and I’d need more soon. I could circle the village and loop back to the river downstream of them, but somehow it seemed safer to drink from a body of water uphill of a town than down.

But I wasn’t going back uphill. I wasn’t going anywhere near that forest. I had to get as much distance from Kavos as possible before he worked his way free of that trap.

Unfortunately, Kavos must’ve been slightly smarter than I gave him credit for. Because I hadn’t made it halfway to the next hill before I stumbled over a dead tree trunk in an unfamiliar swamp with the angry crazy himself lying nearby.

It didn’t matter which one of us died, we both started over.

I ran.

I didn’t get far.

I'd lost count of how many lifetimes and worlds we'd skipped through when we appeared in a town. This wasn’t uncommon. But this time I ran straight into a woman, knocking her down. Out of desperation and pure instinct, I bit her. She screamed and slapped me. I had just enough time to swallow before Kavos killed me.

We reappeared somewhere else. But with one essential change. Now the woman lay beside us, looking around as though trying to take in everything, her eyes wide and uncertain.

“I’m so sorry,” I told her, and Kavos broke my neck.

“Who are you? Where is this?” she demanded, as we reappeared in another world. Kavos took a rare break from slaughtering me in order to bow to her. I ran, trusting that he’d explain everything and then come kill me shortly.

He didn’t.

I ran for nearly a half hour before slowing to a stop, surprised and baffled by the lack of pursuit. It had been so long since I’d had a free day, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.

We’d respawned this time in a wide open meadow. Goats wandered about nibbling at low grasses. I looked back, expecting to see Kavos rushing across the plains at me, but he wasn’t.

I felt weirdly lonely. There was definitely something wrong with me by this point.

Then I remembered my last brief day of freedom, and decided running farther wasn’t going to help.

I sat down and focused on my glow. Whatever momentary distraction I'd created by bringing the woman into our loop wouldn’t last long. I needed to make some progress.

Out. Strike. Attack. Coalesce. Stab. I ran through every mental command I could think of, trying to get my aura to do. . . well, anything except sit there.

It sat there.

I wished I could talk to Kavos without him murdering me five times a minute. He was the only other aura-wielder I’d been around. Well, apart from the weird were-lion underground sandqueen person, but basically the only thing I remembered about her was absolute terror any time she was in sight. Not a helpful teacher, even if we weren’t thousands of worlds past where she lived.

I idly wondered what would happen if Kavos managed to kill me in every world in existence. Would I disappear? Would we loop back to Earth and start over? Could I be sure we hadn’t? Earth had plenty of out-of-the-way places where we could’ve shown up. This meadow, for instance, could easily exist on Earth without being out of place.

No. Thinking about Earth would only make me depressed, and I was already messed up in the head enough without adding depression into the mix. I forced my focus back to my power.

The power wasn’t mine. Wasn’t remotely mine. It was in constant motion, passing through me and away, cycling back and forth like the tides on the shore, leaving behind just enough that I could glow.

To this weird magic power, I was damp sand. That felt bizarrely appropriate.

I tried to gather it together. I tried to push it away. But nothing changed. I could accept it into myself, glowing with its presence, or I could separate my body from whatever part of my innermost self connected to it, letting it only flow through my psyche or soul instead of my body.

Useless magic. Why did I even bother?

I tore up a clump of grass and threw it at the nearest goat. It fell short. The goat ignored me. I ignored the goat.

“Come on, glowy magic! Be useful! Be even a slight bit useful.”

I glowered at the goat. It was ignoring me with much more success than I was ignoring it, wandering slowly in a vague direction without so much as glancing my direction.

“Why can’t we talk it out?” I lamented aloud. “Maybe if I let him kill me a few more times, he’ll get tired of it and we can work together for a change.”

I was starting to get bored with the scenery. It had been the same for so long. Just meadow and goats. It made me feel antsy.

I shook my head. No, that was normal. Scenery shouldn’t be changing every few minutes.

I had to get away. I had to do something, anything but die and flicker through world after world.

This was even worse than last time. I’d be weird for the rest of my life at this rate. The rest of my life. I laughed harshly. What life was that? A few years or decades back, I made a grand resolution. I’d build a simple house, with a simple garden, and survive more than a few days. Since then, things had only gotten worse. My average survival time had dropped from hours to minutes.

Kavos. It was all his fault.

I glared at the goat. It nibbled on its grass, ignoring me.

“What would happen if I bit you?” I asked it. “Would you come along too? Could you distract Kavos?”

If I could bring livestock along with me, it would be handy for my own future. Assuming I could ever ditch Kavos. It made me feel happy, imagining having my own flocks of goats or whatever that could come with me every time I died. Then again, it could be awkward if I ever needed to slaughter one for a meal. Or if a wild animal got in. I’d have to be careful, consider the drawbacks as well as the potential benefits of any permanent action.

Where was Kavos? Shouldn’t he be charging at me, full of fury at my alleged evilness or something by now?

“Maaaah,” said the goat.

“Maaah to you too,” I retorted grumpily. I tore up another clump of grass. “Just leave me in peace, I’m trying to brood here.”

I threw the white-glowing clump of grass at the goat, and it flew true this time. In the half-second it took my mind to understand what was happening, something lurched out of me, or through me and out, and then snapped back with enough force to knock my breath away.

The goat fell over.

I jumped to my feet, gasping for air, staring in shock.

I did it. I did. . . something. That was magic. Actual, not-stuck-inside-me magic. I threw a glowing grass clump. And knocked over a goat! This was the weirdest breakthrough I could imagine, but it was a breakthrough nonetheless.

I couldn’t get enough air.

It felt like something was compressing my lungs, preventing me from more than the shallowest breaths. Any attempt to breathe more deeply sent stabbing pain through my chest.

I sat for several minutes, trying to acclimate. I’d have expected that countless years spent doing nothing but dying over and over would’ve better prepared me to tolerate discomfort, but this was on the verge of sending me into a panic. I looked around for anything to distract myself, and settled on the goat I’d just knocked over.

I crossed toward it, hesitantly. It didn’t jump up and attack me with its horns, so I continued forward. The clod of grass and dirt I’d thrown lay limply beside the fallen creature, no longer glowing.

The goat itself was. Well, no. Not glowing, not white, but it had a deep colourless aura which felt like the perfect harmony to my own power. Before I knew what I was doing, I crossed the distance and put my hand on the goat’s warm trembling side. It couldn’t move, not more than a fraction, and I felt a pang of sympathy at its shallow desperate breathing that mirrored my own.

And that thought broke whatever instinct had led me here. I stood, one hand on a paralyzed goat, each of us glowing in pure opposite of each other, neither able to breathe properly.

I stared at its head. I couldn’t see its eyes from where I stood, behind it, and I didn’t really want to. My vision was starting to narrow. Not enough air. Here I was. Here was a goat.

Now what?

The power flowing through me seemed to be mingling with whatever the goat had. I concentrated, and realized that was what caused the constriction. Not my own power, but the dark mirror. My power flowing into the goat, condensed in a layer beneath its own dark aura; its power doing the same to me. We were connected now, in some different way than I’d ever experienced before, and that connection was hurting us both.

I pulled back sharply on my connection, snapping my power back into myself and away from the goat, in hopes that it would break whatever was holding us together.

It didn’t work exactly as I’d expected. Sudden pressure suffused me, compressing my chest and stifling my mouth as darkness completely filled my vision and my self. I felt the goat’s trembling still beneath by hand, and I knew it was dead.

Then I panicked. I couldn’t breathe at all, my mouth was dry and empty. I couldn’t see. I clutched a dead goat as the only connection I had to any sensation, but that was no help.

I couldn’t even scream.

Darkness.

Fear.

I lay gasping for breath, blinking light away from my eyes.

“—but I don’t think. . . Oh, what was that?”

“He died, and now we’re somewhere else.” I recognized Kavos’s voice at once. It sparked instinctive self-preservation and I jumped up to run.

“Wait, please don’t run,” said the woman. I stopped, turning to face her. This was the first time I’d gotten a proper look at her. She was very average-looking, neither tall nor short, a bit on the underfed side, but with soft features and indistinct eyes. Her hair was brown, a few shades darker than her medium skin.

And she wasn’t wearing anything.

Neither was Kavos.

I sighed, turning away to examine the boulder-strewn hillside upon which we now stood. “Why are neither of you dressed?”

“That is none of your business,” Kavos growled.

“Well, now you’re going to have to figure out something new to wear, because I don’t think we can go back for whatever you left behind.”

Speaking of left behind. . . I looked around hastily in case the goat made the jump with us. It hadn’t. No goat, corpse or otherwise, was in evidence. I sighed with relief, then grinned as I realized that not only was Kavos not killing me, but I could also breathe normally again.

“Alright, well, what you two decide to do with your time is none of my business. I have—”

“A house to build?” Kavos asked.

“Yes!”

“Can you make it two?” the woman asked.

I smiled. “Absolutely.” I glanced at Kavos. “So, are we good?”

“No, but if I continued killing you it would also harm Asara, and that I will not do. So long as only I would suffer, my crusade was justified and worth the sacrifice. But I am not you. I will not harm innocents merely to have my own way.”

“Awesome! I should’ve brought someone into the loop sooner.” Though, really, we ended up in civilized areas only a fraction of the time, and the chances of getting someone within the seconds before Kavos caught me were minimal.

Kavos growled, so I hastily backtracked. “That is, I’m so sorry it had to come to this.” I turned to the woman, carefully keeping my focus only on her eyes. “Asara, was it? I extend to you my own personal apology for stealing you away from your world and life and bringing you along on this journey of madness that is our life now. I wish I knew more. . . well, anything at all, really, about what was happening, but I do not. I know only that with you along, it’s become that much less tedious of an adventure.”

She giggled. “You are not what I’d expected.”

“Kavos doesn’t know me as well as he’d like to think.”

“He said you were a dark sorcerer, obsessed with building a house in tribute to the evil gods.”

“Did you really say that?” I asked Kavos.

He shrugged. “You seemed unnaturally insistent on your goal. Am I wrong?”

“YES! I have no acquaintanceship whatsoever with any gods, much less the specific evil pantheon with which you’re familiar! I want to build a house to live in it!”

“Two houses,” Asara puts in. “One for you, and one for us.”

“Oh, it’s already an ‘us’ now, is it?” I glance at Kavos, who somehow manages to blush in an extraordinarily manly and tough way.

“Yes,” he says shortly.

“Well, congratulations then. That was fast.”

“I have tried courtship. But now I see it only means wasting time when either one of you could be snatched away in a moment. This time, I do not hesitate.”

“Well, again, congrats. I hope neither of you mind if I go find a nice spot to begin construction.”

“We don’t,” Asara said. “But do return sometime. I would like to learn more about you and your world. Kavos’s world sounds dreadfully fascinating, and he says you’ve never spoken of yours.”

“My world is a place of marvels such as no one on this or any plane I’ve visited since could match. We had conquered nature, tamed the elements, and could travel anyplace on the planet within a day. We could transmit information across the globe faster than speaking it aloud.”

Talking about it made me strangely nostalgic for Earth. I’d never really thought of my life there as anything but mundane and tedious, but now that I’d lived and died across thousands of other worlds, it seemed we really did have something unique.

“It sounds amazing,” Asara said.

“It was. But it’s long ago and far away.” I straightened, ready to get on with things. “Have fun. I’ll be back when I’ve found a promising spot. That, or I’ll die. Whichever. And please, if you have time, find some clothing. Both of you.”

It wasn’t until I’d moved out of earshot that I realized Asara had never reacted to my glowing. Not at all.

I glanced down at myself, and indeed, I did still glow. Whatever had gone on with the goat and its mirror dark aura hadn’t changed my connection to this power.

I sat down heavily on a nearby boulder. Everything had happened so fast, I hadn’t had a chance to process it all. But now I found myself more perplexed than ever.

Something had happened. I’d somehow managed to throw my light at the goat, which had then forged a connection between us that hurt us both. And when I broke it, we both died.

Not a very useful power, and one which made the violent hatred of everyone who saw me glowing a little bit more understandable. If their only experience with white-glowing people was them causing sudden and inexplicable death, why wouldn’t they have such traditions?

I had a unique opportunity here. I could study this Deathlight power as no one else could. The simple experiment of throwing light at another creature - leaving aside that it was rather an accident - had killed me. Most other Deathlight wielders would have gotten that far and no further. One mistake, one death, two if you count themselves and their target, and that’s the end.

But I? I could leap from world to world instead of dying for good. Any failure gained only knowledge, and lost nothing.

Of course, that was assuming I wanted to study DEATH MAGIC.

I sighed and stood up. Maybe I shouldn’t be so proud of my beautiful white glow. Maybe I should try harder to suppress it. Maybe I should follow Kavos’s example and find someone worth loving, worth staying with forever.

But not everyone wants to live forever. I’d wished countless times that I were capable of dying, and that was just from the relentless pursuit of a murderous madman. This endless cycle we’d become trapped in may well be a worse hell than any deity could envision.

No, now that I had some time and space away from the adrenaline-soaked desperation of running and dying again and again, I knew that I’d never again inflict this on anyone else. Not unless I had no choice.

I climbed to the top of the hill and looked out at the surrounding lands.

A few dragons lay sleeping together in the valley, curled up like massive lizardy kittens. I had a pretty good idea of what would be killing us this evening.

Perhaps the next world would provide a better prospect for survival.

I started down the far side of the hill, back towards where I’d left Kavos and Asura, but then stopped. I stared at my glowing hand, then back toward the dragons. If we were basically doomed here anyway, I could at least try this out again. See if I could find a less deadly-to-myself way of using Deathlight. And if not, at least we’d be leaving this world with one fewer deadly monsters to ravage the countryside.

I crept around the hill and down the slope toward the sleeping monsters. The closer I got, the less kittenish they appeared. They were huge, unrealistically massive. I wondered how they were able to stand, much less fly, with their unwieldy mass.

Then I came closer still, and they were big enough to block out the hill behind them. And closer, until they loomed over everything like a mountain of breathing scaled flesh.

My heart was racing, not just from anticipation, but if I wasn’t exactly immune to fear by that point I was at least less inclined to act on it. Something between resignation and recklessness had overtaken me, and I continued forward until I felt the hot, warm breath of the nearest dragon. It nearly knocked me over each time it breathed out.

I tried to will the deathlight into my hand so I could throw it. Nothing happened. I mimed a throwing motion, in case the light only reacted to an actual attempt. That failed as well. I hesitantly tore up a clump of grass, very quietly, and tried to make it glow. Nothing happened. I tossed it half-heartedly toward the dragon, hoping it wouldn’t wake it. The grass fell short and thumped softly to the ground, no glow in evidence.

I tried to remember my mindset at the time. I’d been annoyed, wanted the goat to leave me alone. Wanted it to be quiet.

I very much wanted the dragons to be dead. Did that count?

I thought about how dangerous they were, how much better off everyone would be if they weren’t alive. I thought specifically about how much better my chances of survival would be.

I definitely wanted them gone. Absolutely.

I threw my hand out as though throwing the light or the grass, wanting light to form, wanting it to fly out and slay the dragon for me.

It did nothing.

I almost growled with frustration, but clapped my hands over my mouth in time. Right beside sleeping dragons was the very worst place to have a loud tantrum. Instead, I grabbed the nearest clump of grass, ripped it from the ground, and hurled it at the dragon in case anger was an appropriate trigger for the light.

It didn’t work. Of course it didn’t. At least a small clump of earth and grass wasn't enough to wake the dragon as it bounced off its side.

I continued in this vein for several hours, until my emotions were strained from constant manipulation and the dragons finally woke up and that was that. My first death by dragon. Weird that it had taken so long. Then again, I'd only died a hundred or so times to anything but Kavos. Or perhaps even fewer? I couldn't really remember anything that long ago.

Our next world was cold and rainy, but not immediately infested with deadly monsters. I wanted to smirk at the others for their decision to abandon clothing, but they weren’t naked anymore. Well, that was good. Even if it did remove my ability to mock them.

“I take it the hill does not form a satisfactory foundation for a house?” Kavos asked.

“Dragons already lived there, so, y’know, I decided to give them precedence.”

I didn’t mention my repeated - failed - attempts to kill them off. That was personal and private.

I did peer at Asura curiously, though. She still seemed completely unbothered by my glow. Which, I checked, was definitely active.

“Who are you?” I blurted, frowning at her. “You can’t be a random citizen. You’re taking all of this way too calmly.”

She smiled gently. “It’s alright, Yorre. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine. Go on, find a place to build your house. We’ll be along shortly.”

“Kav, you’re letting her speak for you now?” I demanded, whirling to face him. “You don’t find this suspicious?”

“I have stopped thinking about it,” Kavos said. “You are the one who brought me into this madness. You are the one who brought her. I have agreed not to kill you again. Is that not enough for you?”

“Well, I. . .” I mean, not having to worry about my dimension-traveling companions killing me was great and all, but there was something about this woman that I just didn’t trust.

“Go on,” she said again, more insistent. “You have your goals to pursue, and we have ours.”

I sighed, but nodded. “Alright. I’ll be back. Don’t get yourselves killed.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be here.”