“Of course you’re not dead, silly,” the rainbow-colored girl giggled. “You’re at CutieCon!”

“Cutie what now?” Steve asked.

“CutieCon! It’s a celebration of all things wonderful in the world! All the happiest people in the world come here to get in fun-fun costumes and sing happy-happy songs. We’re cuties!”

The “cuties” began to sing again, a different group, but the same song as before. Their unadulterated joy was just as strong, and now even more of the cuties were entering the hotel through the broken doors.

“I’m so happy-happy you’re awake!” the rainbow-colored girl continued. “Because now I get to meet you! You fell over and wouldn’t get up after that silly big car broke the doors last night. You looked so sleepy. So we made sure you were nice and cozy on this couch.”

“Um, thanks. Sorry about the—”

“Oh, this is so exciting! I’m Evy,” the rainbow-colored cutie before Steve introduced herself, curtsying like a child’s doll. “What’s your name?”

“Steve,” Steve replied, rubbing his forehead to try and comprehend the fact that he was living in a world that had the capacity to create such a thing as a cutie. “Nice to, um… nice to meet you.”

“You mean happy-happy to meet you.”

“Yeah, that.”

“Yay! Now I get to learn about you!” Evy said, and let out a gasp so deep that Steve was surprised she didn’t inhale any of the daisies covering the floor. “Are you a cutie?”

“Ummm,” Steve mumbled, considering the tank and the damage he’d caused. “Yeah. Sure.”

Steve twisted his head from side to side. He remembered losing consciousness after the tank crashed into the hotel. But he didn’t remember seeing Gore, Dawn, and Burney. Were they still in the tank? Unlikely, since Gore’s armored feet weren’t hanging out of the daisy-covered hatch.

Steve was about to ask where his companions were when Evy grabbed him by the shoulders and said, “Oh but you don’t look like one!”

“I don’t?” Steve asked. He realized his suit-like clothes didn’t exactly denote a sense of cuteness.

“No! Plus a pair of fake horns on your head isn’t much of a costume.”

With wide-eyed shock, Steve put his hands to his head. Where was his hat! He’d forgotten that he’d dropped it the night before, and now looked about the daisy-strewn lobby for it, covering his horns with his hands.

“I don’t think you’re a cutie,” Evy said, giggling. “I think you’re a businessman. Are you in business, Steve? You sell peanuts for a living, don’t you?”

“I don’t—” Steve said.

Evy suddenly grabbed his hands and danced in a quick circle with him. “Steve, Steve, traveling salesman trying to get everyone to buy his nuts,” she sang. “Are you going to try and sell me some peanuts, Steve?”

Evy pulled Steve close to ask the question. Steve looked into the small woman’s blue-tinged and shadowed eyes, saw her twinkling smile, and felt the warmth of her soft hands against his own.

“I’m, I’m not in sales,” he said.

“Then what are you?” Evy asked.

“I’m a, uh, a…”

“You’ve got fake horns like a demon. Are you a demon? A traveling salesman demon?”

“I’m not in sales,” Steve said, pulling his hands away to cover his horns.

“So you’re a demon?” Evy asked, grabbing Steve’s hands again.

“On… on my mother’s side.”

“So you are a cutie! Yay! You’re a cutie just like us! But oh no! Your costume isn’t very happy at all. Plus two fake horns isn’t enough to be a real cutie.”

“It’s not?”

“No! You don’t look happy, Steve.”

“I’m sort of going through a tough situation at the moment.”

“We should make you happy!” Evy’s gasp of excitement literally lifted her off the ground as she flung herself upward. “Let’s get you a cutie costume!”

“I had a hat…”

“A hat’s a great place to start. Let’s go get you a hat, Steve! Yay! Steve the not-peanut-salesman is going to be happy!” Evy sang as she tugged at Steve’s arm, pulling him toward a hallway leading out of the lobby.

“Wait, wait,” Steve said, barely able to resist as he was dragged through the daisies. “I had some friends. Or, I had some other people with me.”

“You have friends with you!” Evy stopped, gasping with what seemed a limitless supply of shock-filled excitement.

“Yeah. Dawn, Gore, and Burney. They came in with me and now I don’t know where they are.”

“We can get them costumes too. We can make them all happy! Come on! And all the happy-happy good times will soar like a dove!”

Evy bounced as she pulled Steve toward a hallway. Steve allowed himself to be dragged by the singing woman, engrossed by the way her skirt and tights made her bouncing legs move. This allowed him to ignore the multitude of costume-clad creatures dancing and singing together all about the hotel. The instant Evy found a box of pink-frostinged doughnuts and offered one to Steve, it was all the half-demon could do to not join the other cuties in song. Thankfully, having his mouth full of the most adorable doughnut he’d ever devoured saved Steve from this embarrassment.

Steve felt a bit of an outsider as the only one not in a costume. But the cuties all exchanged smiles and heart-felt laughter.

The costume creation panel, as Evy had said, was apparently not the only event going on at this cutie convention. Steve passed doors to hotel conference rooms marked Singing Room, Game Room, Singing Lessons Room, Painting Room, Happy Singing Room, How to Tell Your Parents You’re a Cutie Room, and a Really Happy Singing Room. There were also signs pointing toward the other end of the hotel reading Main Hall, Extra Really Happy Singing Extravaganza and Food Court.

“This is a really big convention,” Steve noted.

“The biggest cutie convention in North America. There’s another in Japan that’s twice as big,” Evy said.

Steve made a mental note to avoid going to Japan for awhile. Then he looked at Evy’s legs and thought that, perhaps, Japan wouldn’t be so bad. Something about what Dawn had said to him, though, wriggled its way into his mind. Something about starting the end of the world, which would mean an end to Japan. Steve shook away the thought before it could fully form, and focused on the legs that led him.

The legs ended at a conference room at the back of the hotel. Inside were close to a hundred grown men and women examining piles and piles of brightly colored fabrics. Clothes racks lined the walls with pieces that looked like they belonged in the most elegant and most silly thrift store in the world. Heaps of felt piled like autumn leaves dotted the floor, with ager cuties tearing through the piles in search of just the right type of material or color to accent their squirrel outfit. All this, plus tables coated with sewing materials, sequence, and a wide assortment of other accessories made the room look like a costume shop that had been fire-bombed by exploding crayons.

“Let’s find you a good costume,” Evy said.

“Okay. I suppose we should start with a hat, right? I mean, I need a hat…” Steve said.

Before Steve could finish explaining what he might like his costume to be, Evy leapt onto the nearest pile of felt with a “Wee!” and an explosion of fabric. The other cuties around her all laughed as Evy playfully rolled about in the felt.

“I think we should get you something from this pile. It feels right,” Evy said. She rolled over and saw a particularly bright red piece of felt. “Ooh! This would go perfectly!”

Evy leapt out of the pile of fabric just as fast as she’d leapt into it, and held the piece of red felt above her head in triumph. Steve wasn’t sure what exactly the piece of fabric was supposed to be, but Evy molded it with enthusiastic glee.

“So this will be your hat,” Evy said, looking about for other materials. “Come on, what do you want?”

“I like the hat,” Steve replied.

“You can’t just have a hat, silly.”

“I can’t?”

“You need a full costume. Like me!” Evy gasped. “Do you want my costume!”

“Yes.”

“You can’t have my costume, silly. You need a costume of your own. But you can match mine.” Evy gasped. “Do you want your costume to match mine?”

“Sure.”

“Yay! We could make you a nice happy demon. Half demon on your mother’s side, right Steve?”

“Right.”

“I like it. I’m half rainbow on my mother’s side.”

“What’s the other side?”

“A unicorn!”

“Neat.”

“What’s the other half of your half demon side?”

“A con artist from Vegas.”

“That’s not cute at all. I’m going to say you’re a half demon on your mother’s side, and your father was a…” Evy patted a brightly colored fingernail against her cheek. “A cupid! A little baby angel. Your papa was a widdle angel who got your mommy to fall in wuv with him and they had widdle Stevey.”

“That’s… not exactly how it happened.”

“Oh? How did it happen?”

“My mom’s a succubus. My dad seduced her and got her pregnant for kicks. Then he went off to play in a poker game. Mom never told me if he won any money.”

“Hmm. I like my version better.”

“So do I.”

“So half-angel half-demon Steve needs a half-angel half-demon costume. Let’s get you some wings! Some nice dark and smiley wings! Ooh, you’ll be a cupid with attitude, I love it! Do you love it?”

“I’m…w arming up to the idea.”

“You should love the idea. If you get wings then you can fly. Like me! I can fly, you know. That’s not silly either, it’s true. I came in a plane.” Evy made airplane engine noises and spread her arms like she was flying. “My plane used to go pew-pew and make boom noises. It doesn’t make boom noises when I sing. So I don’t make boom noises anymore.”

“Okay.”

“If you get wings then you and I can fly together! Me in my plane and you with your half-angel half-demon wings!” Evy squeed with delight and went about searching through piles of clothing and buttons with manic speed.

Steve smiled and watched Evy pick out shiny brass buttons for a rich purple cloak. It was delirium watching Evy work. Steve was engrossed in the way the light played off her multi-colored hair, how her skirt swayed, how everyone she brushed up against or shared a hug with reflected her smile.

“And this is where we’ll find your wings!” Evy declared as she charged another pile of felt. But when Steve heard her scream it was not a scream of glee, but a scream of pain. Steve turned toward the source of the pain, realizing that it had not actually come from Evy, but from the other end of the conference room.

There Steve saw Burney, standing with his arms full of burning felt.