《DEALS》Chapter 34 - Dealing with Selfish or Selfless
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Peyton Griffin's POV
I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was a bare chest. I was instantly on guard. When I inhaled, I knew where I was, and the previous events came back like a tidal wave.
I pulled my attention to the slight movement; I felt near my head while I heard Caleb hum a song. I knew the lyrics thanks to my other half and best friend, but I was not going to admit that out loud.
"That was a nice song. You wrote it?" I decided to grace him with my presence.
He stopped playing with my hair and looked at me. His eyes had a clear look in them as if the sadness that was once in them was finally gone, and I had no idea why but I suddenly felt like I had accomplished something.
"I'm guessing my morning breath isn't scaring you away, so about that song?" I questioned further.
He removed his hands from my hair and brought them to my cheek, holding it as if I was going to disappear at any minute. "It was my mom, an adoptive one. She would sing to Gail and me to get us to sleep."
Not that I would blame him.
"Thank you." He edges closer to me.
"It was no problem, really. Just helping out a friend." I could feel myself becoming warmer by how affectionate he was being, so I moved away.
He has to remember that I don't plan on staying, so he shouldn't get attached. None of us should.
"Is it okay if I ask what your mom was like?"
"She was a one-of-a-kind woman. She wasn't a pushover. She was the shoulder my dad and I leaned on. If anything, I would want my wife to possess similar qualities." He grins at me.
"I like your eyes."
I am so screwed!
"Son of a biscuit!" I wanted to say the son of una perra, but I remembered that there was an impressionable young man with me.
Translation: bitch.
I got up from the bed and made my way out of here before things could get more complicated than it already was.
"Have a good day Caleb," I called off my shoulder as I slammed the door shut.
I raced to my room and closed it. I hit the back of my head on the door, "Stupid, stupid, stupid."
"No matter how many times you say it. My brother will still think otherwise." I looked up, surprised that I was not alone.
Marci sat on my bed in a pair of ripped jeans, a tank underneath a leather jacket, studded boots and a beanie on her head.
"I am one lucky girl, aren't I?" I muttered as she rolled her eyes.
"You need to shower and come down and have breakfast, Gail and I have been waiting for a while now. Not that you would have known, your morning seemed occupied." She had a sly grin on her face.
I scrutinized her with a critical eye, "You are really calm about this. How come?"
Marci rolled her eyes and came to stand next to me, "Peyton, all I've ever wanted, was for Caleb to be happy especially, to start a family of his own despite what happened. And if it's with you, who am I to complain?" She smirked.
"So you're okay that I might still leave even when he wants me to stay?" I asked.
I'm glad to know that after I leave, Caleb will still be surrounded by people who will help him get over me.
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I don't belong in his world, and he doesn't belong in mine. It's better that way.
Marci rolled her eyes, "If I know my brother well, he would still try to convince you to stay. So when it comes down to you really leaving, do us all a favour, let him down gently. If it is not for us, do it for him." She pats my shoulder and walks out of the room.
I rest my forehead on the door and huff. Weighing out my options.
If I stay, Caleb and I may become something better than friends, and I get to experience something close to love and a happy ending, but what would it cost?
It would cost the safety of three people I care about; my step-brother, my other half and my best friend. Not only that, the empire will come after me, most likely being led by my father.
You can't leave the empire without a blood splat and live to tell the story another day. Marcel is a living testimony to that.
My incompetent ex would have a fit and come looking for me and let's not start with the nut case that is my step-father, Joey Torent.
Speaking of which, I still have more dirt on him, which will come in handy; when I get back to the Bahamas demanding answers.
I sigh.
I have to choose between being selfless or selfish. To be happy, protecting the people I care about or protecting the person my heart was slowly falling for.
I shake my head after mopping for a bit, my mind set on the decision that I have to make.
-
"Remind me again why you would not even at least give him a chance to prove his undying love for you?" I had no idea if Marci was mocking me or her brother. But I could tell that she mocked both of us.
After a quick shower, I skipped breakfast and led Gail and Marci into the awaiting uber towards the school.
I vaguely remember Shawn saying either he or his brother would come by for them for security reasons.
"Because, as you said this morning, I should let him down gently and what better way to do that than handle his fan base."
Marci rolled her eyes at me, "And she feels nothing for the blonde musician." She made her voice go a few pitches higher.
I glared at her. "Don't you have a class to get to?"
If I wanted to make this deal, I didn't want any witnesses around in case things went south or went ugly.
"Has someone ever told you that you are the best babysitter in the world?" She had a sickeningly sweet smile, but it dropped in seconds. "They lied. See you at home. Hopefully, we won't be nursing kits and ice creams."
She was the perfect combination of Dinah's teasing and Marcel's vile mouthing.
I followed Gail into her classroom and went toward her teacher. Miss Beatrice.
The woman was in her thirties and was easy on the eyes. She had her sights set on one of her pupil's brothers.
I was once told that all villains in our story had their motives if you chose to listen to them. Maybe, just maybe, you could come to see them as something other than the villains that they paint themselves as.
Take Klaus from the originals; to everyone, he's the hybrid monster who has no soul but to those that know him well. Klaus only does what he does; to keep the people he calls family safe. Even if he has to hurt them in the process.
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Kind of like what I do, but I lack the whole sharp fangs and morale to plunge a knife into Danny's chest, but I once considered it one day when he pissed me off.
"Can we talk for a second?" I say, grabbing her attention from the test that she was grading.
She looked up, and even though her glasses' rims were thick. I could still see the traces of tears on them.
I keep a neutral face as she follows me out of the classroom.
"I just wanted to say that there is no need for bad blood between us." I begin trying to gauge her expression. It was far from the passive look; she was trying to put on. For one thing, she sniffed every few minutes.
"How was your thanksgiving?"
The empire had shaped me to never care about the distress of others and ride on their sorrows on a freaking white unicorn. I think I have proven that I would never be like the people who stood under the monster that claimed to be my father.
She tried to hold it together. She looked away as the white in her eyes became redder; the sniffing became rampant until she burst into full-blown tears.
I sighed and pulled her to the teacher's lounge, where luck for us was empty.
I may have to hit myself for this later, but I pulled her into my arms. We were roughly the same height, so she was at the perfect angle to my shoulder as she cried on it.
After what felt like a year, her tears had run out, and she started sniffing.
I led her to one of the couches. I handed her a bottle of water that I found in the fridge while waiting for her to talk. When she was fully sobered up, she gulped the whole can in a go.
"I'm sorry that you're seeing me like this. I thought I was stronger than this." She muttered the last part to herself as she avoided looking at me.
"Beatrice, we get stronger by facing our problems, so lay it on me." After witnessing her breakdown, I think it's safe to say that we are finally on a first-name basis.
"It's just that the ex that dumped me for the high school gymnast when he showed up for the teacher's party that unfortunately was holding in my house this year." She spoke with a mixture of sadness and anger in her tone.
"I'm going to assume he's a teacher here, right?" I clarify
She simply nodded and continued with her explanation for her meltdown. "The party was going great despite everyone knowing the tension between my ex and me. That lasted till about half-past midnight when I found them knee-deep in a mind-blowing orgasm on my bed. The same bed that we both slept in a few days ago." Cue the second part of the meltdown with more sobs, stuttering and faster teardrops.
"I just don't know what's wrong with me; he left me when I started dropping hints about us getting married. And then I thought I had a chance with Caleb when I stayed longer and helped Gail that I would get another shot on the field. You came along, and showed me that I would have been better off as a nun."
Well, if I knew that my day would be like this, I might as well have stayed in bed with Caleb all day.
"Beatrice, you are an idiot." I begin my rant.
"Excuse me?" She opened her mouth in shock.
"You heard me right, girlfriend. An idiot. The biggest one that I have ever seen! What was going on in your thick skull, when you let that Pig and his mud into your home? Screw all politeness; if I were you, I would have slammed the door so hard in their faces that they would get the clear picture that they were not welcomed." I paused to catch a breath, Beatrice opened her mouth to talk, but I held up my index finger.
"Wait, I'm not done." I shushed her, and she clamped her mouth back shut.
"Do you really need me to go on and on about how beautiful you are and tell you that he is not worth you? Because I sure as hell won't. You should already know this by now. Let's say you ditch your teaching job for the day and we go get back at your horrible taste in men?" I grin.
She surprised us both by wrapping her hands around me, "How did I ever feel hatred towards you?" She asked herself. The room was eerily quiet, save for the grandfather clock in the corner, so I heard her.
"I wouldn't blame you. He's a handsome young man but not your type." I pull back from the hug and squeeze her shoulder. "You should at least end up with a man that will love you for you, and Caleb is not that person."
She sighs, "I know, but in my defence, I wanted any form of distraction as a rebound at that moment."
I nodded, and my stomach scolded me for not attending to it this morning.
"I'm sorry, you haven't had breakfast yet?" She glanced from my face to my stomach.
"Yup, but no worries, I'm heading to a breakfast bar after I'm done making sure you're okay."
"Would you get fired if we gave your ex a taste of his own medicine?" I tapped my chin with an evil glint.
"Tempting, but I'll pass. Someone's gotta put food on the table." She rolled her eyes, but I knew that my suggestion was considered from the smug look on her face.
"You're a mom?" I felt the wicked smile on my face drop.
"Hell no! I take care of my mom along with my younger brother."
I found myself having a new respect for this woman.
Villains are only villains unless you see the two sides of the story. You could say that this was the moment; where those wise words concerning the two sides of a coin came into play.
I hope I could try and use that same theory on a family member of mine; because let's face it. We're all vulnerable when we meet the villains in our lives.
-
After making a quick deal with Beatrice concerning her countenance near Caleb, I make my way to Parks' orphanage.
The nurses were nice enough to leave some breakfast on my table for me when they clocked out from the morning shift.
I was busy ensuring the kids were occupied by watching cartoons or drawing when Lucy tugged on my leg.
I felt my heart warm when she raised her hands up for me to pick her up, and I complied with her wishes.
"Can you tell us a story today?" She looked up at me with big doe eyes.
I sighed because any moment from now, the people who booked appointments with me were about to start walking in, and I was nowhere ready.
"Tell you, what if you can give me a pretty picture of a turkey. I'll tell you and everyone else a story?" I was given a small smile and a shake of her head.
"I guess it's a deal then."
The day passed agonizingly slowly as clients came and left, and the orphanage was down by a dozen kids.
This may come out vile, but if I'm being honest, I'm happy that no one has adopted Lucy just yet.
I heard the door open almost immediately when the couple I was dealing with left, and I bit down on my tongue to remind myself that this was not the babysitting organization back home. So I was not allowed to relieve my feelings in a way which had more colours than a rainbow.
"I was wondering if I could have a chat with the manager." I recognized his voice.
"You're speaking to him," I say, shaking myself from the stiff stance that fell on me.
This morning's event came to mind, and I had my guard up.
"What's your favourite colour again?" He asked
"As black as the night sky," I frowned while wondering where he was going with this.
"Interesting, I can't decide between silver-blue or brilliant blue. Can you help me decide?" He went on to say.
I scowled and finally looked up to acknowledge his presence. Is he shitting me right now?
"Fine, my eye colour is blue! Happy now!" I was getting beyond livid at myself and him.
I was stupid to agree to spend the night with him. Because I was relaxed. I didn't bother to wake up before him and put the contacts back on. I'm angry at him for being so observant.
"Why are you ashamed of your eye colour? Because if you think they would classify you into the dumb blonde with blue eyes category, you're not as smart as you give out." He stated while looking me dead in the eye.
Only if he knew.
"You wouldn't understand." I looked away from him. I collected my thoughts and looked for a suitable lie right about now.
"Try me," I saw him walking closer to me with my spherical.
With a firm grip on my face, I couldn't look away while I sighed, "In the empire, people always preferred my sister to me. We looked so alike that most didn't even bother to know my name. They called me hers."
The people in the empire noticed Father's dearest preference for Lola; as a result, I was looked upon as the defective twin.
The one who was a thorn in their sides, and yet I'm following in my mom's footsteps. They were in dire need of freedom, and no one needed to tell me how to use it to my advantage.
You see, right from our early years. I was kind of jealous of Lola, but I grew out of that stage, and to make myself look a bit different, I started wearing contacts.
Whenever I wanted to do deals or set the record straight, the people would know that the defective twin, the daughter without her father's love, was the one talking.
You could say I might have a card up my sleeve that not many people know about.
"Is that why you dyed your hair?"
"Same intentions, different reasons,"
I wear contacts so the empire won't confuse my other half and me. I dyed my hair to avoid the press, and a part of me wanted to piss off my father.
"So if I were to see you both, would you still be the hotter one or..." He sent me a dig, and for some reason, the picture of Lola and him kissing under the rain flitted into my mind.
Safe to safe, I just lost my appetite for the rest of the year.
"I think I prefer blue; they make silver-blue look like wannabes." He caresses my face.
"You said that people of the empire treat you like that. What empire are you talking about? Is that where you are from?"
I swear I need to borrow needles and thread from the other mother because I have been slipping off too much today.
He wasn't supposed to know about them till I was back in the Bahamas. Maybe by then, he would not come after me.
"It's like a branch of a country that gets a say in whatever goes on. It's more for people who come from the same race or religion. And yes, that's where I'm from." I say.
"Are you happy at the empire?" He had me under a scrutinizing glare that made it hard to come up with a lie on the spot.
"Sort off, but it doesn't matter." I finally gained the willpower to look away and try to hold onto what was left of my façade.
"You know you're free to stay, right?"
There he goes with this offer of his again. It will do more bad than good if I stay, but the person who needs to know this can never know.
If not for his sanity, then for mine.
"Caleb, deals have to remain deals." I smile sweetly to soften the blow.
"Come on, I promised the kids I'll tell them a story before I leave." I stirred us away from the office to the playroom, where all the kids went berserk when they saw Caleb.
I felt a tug on my leg and saw Lucy gazing shyly at me with a drawing in her hand.
"Well, what do we have here?" I ask as I pick her up.
"I drew the turkey. So can you tell us the story?" She asked with a pout.
I tip my head and laugh when the image of her handling deals comes to mind.
A dealer never forgets a deal.
A sly comment leaves my mouth when I take in the condition that I see Caleb in. "From Parks to Parks."
"Guys, if you stop climbing me like a mountain, I'll join Peyton to tell you guys a story." He bargains.
The children leave him and take seats in the room while Caleb and I sit in front of them on chairs with Lucy on my lap.
I begin a story that I know all too well, "There once was a boy named Mowgli. He was abandoned by his parents after an accident. He was supposed to have lived in a human village but he grew up with a pack of wolves." I think Caleb knows where I am going with the story because he momentarily freezes up.
"With time, the head male and female wolves decided that he should be on his way to join his people. So they not only sent him away to find his people but to also find himself and to avoid the tiger that wanted him dead. Shere Khan.
"He ventures deeper into the forest and stumbles upon a black panther named Bagheera and a bear named Baloo.
"They help him on his journey, and Mowgli proves his worth to the duo he is capable of when he protects Baloo from Shere Khan.
"In time Bagheera decides that Mowgli should be with his people and agrees with the wolves to try and help him find them. Baloo strongly opposed it, saying Mowgli was better off staying in the jungle.
"But when Bagheera reminds Baloo of the incident with Shere Khan, Baloo sees reason. They can't protect Mowgli from everything.
"Mowgli ends up being drawn to the town by a beautiful girl who happened to be fetching water from the river."
"What is the moral of the story?" Lucy looks at me
"The moral is to be brave. You can't run away from your problems and hide in fear; you can be like Mowgli and face them head-on and find yourself. Or you could be like Shere Khan and fight your battles by being a bully." Caleb smirks.
Little does he know that he has already learnt his morals while I am yet to learn mine.
-
"You're a real piece of work, Peyton Griffin," Jacob says as he comes to stand near me.
"Drink up before you become as cold as your heart." Shawn passes me a cup of chocolate which I gingerly accept.
The Miami winter was a strong contrast to the one I'm used to in the Bahamas.
"You can laugh all you want. I will take a thank you in return." I grin at the buff brothers as I take a sip.
Jacob rolls his eyes. "I have to say you surprised me. But thank you, she called me back. I have a date for my mother's birthday."
I smile while Shawn groans, "I owe Caleb and Jack a twenty. Thank you, Peyton." He spits the last part in my direction. I can see through that he is amused.
"No problem, so what are you two really here for?" I do a double-take.
No one in their right mind would be awake at two am to come to stand on a balcony high up in the air when the air was as cold as the North Pole.
"We have a deal for you. You stay here with Caleb when Taryn comes back and..." I cut Shawn from his proposal.
Believe me, I wouldn't need anything in return if I could stay and be free from the reigns of the empire. Life is not that simple.
I would also want more things. As far as logic goes, you have to lose to gain. You have to sacrifice your present for your future. Most importantly; you can never stop protecting the ones you love, even at the cost of your own happiness.
"Guys, We have been through this a thousand times. I can't afford to stay here. If I want to be selfish, I would gladly forget about my family back in the Bahamas. I could stay here and join you guys and meet Taryn and maybe get with Caleb." I pause to swallow, feeling myself getting worked up.
"But you know it wouldn't be fair. Not to you guys, not to my family and certainly not to Caleb. No matter what deal I make, what I choose to do affects us all in some way or another. The only way to make sure things stay in check is if I leave the moment before Taryn steps in here." I wipe away a lone tear.
"After you leave, have you ever thought about what would happen to Caleb?" Jacob stares at me with a look on his face a contrast to his jovial self.
"Trust me. I have. Sometimes we have to lose the people we love to find ourselves. We have to make sacrifices for them to lose ourselves. It's all about being selfless or being selfish."
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