《Elani》18. All His Fears
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Pandora watched the reflection of the red flames from Hale’s hand dance inside his magnetic blue eyes. And he was staring at her with those eyes. Although she could look into them endlessly, her gaze was drawn to the rest of his body, so thankful to see him again, alive, and he was holding her hand.
She stroked his jawline, not even thinking about overstepping boundaries. She just wanted to touch him to make sure she wasn’t dreaming, that Hale was really here. Because that would mean the crash wasn’t the end of their journey and that they could still save Elani.
Hale slowly, nearly reluctantly, pulled her hand away from his own face and he took her hand in his flameless one.
“You’re... alive,” Pandora repeated.
“I told you,” he looked to the side. “Everything’s fine. I’m perfectly fine.”
Hale’s tears caught the firelight, making them visible to her, though he tried to conceal them in the darkness. She had never seen him in a state like this before, overflowing with emotion, so clearly evident in his eyes. She wondered if his tears were for her, almost hoping they were.
He hung his head, and his few tears dripped onto the floor. He caressed the top of her hand with his fingertips, as if her hand were more valuable than a flawless gemstone. She fought the urge to pull her hands from his grasp, an urge that came from the newness of his affection. And she was also afraid to allow herself to enjoy that affection.
“We should get out of here.” Hale looked back at the compartment door. “It’s not safe.”
Pandora pulled her hand from his and unbuckled herself. When she looked back up, Hale was waiting outside the compartment for her, the flare in his hand gone.
After she had crawled out, Hale offered his right hand to her, and she gladly accepted the assistance when she stood to her feet because she felt slightly lightheaded. She gasped, taking sight of the inside of Hale’s ship. The bridge was smashed close against the back of, and the ceiling was crumpled closer to the floor, and Hale hunched over as he led her through. Because of the sharp debris, she had to be careful with her steps, and even more careful as the seawater seeped onto the floor.
“How are we going to get out of here?” Pandora asked, holding his hand while wading through the water.
He pointed to the flooring beneath his feet. “We’re right over the exit ramp, but the power’s out. So the ramp’s not really an option.”
His grip tightened on her hand as he led her to the right wall of what remained of the bridge. “The airlock can be used as an emergency exit.” He stopped walking. “Step back.”
Hale placed his hand on the airlock wall. After a few moments, frost grew over the top of his hand and over the airlock wall. The frost soon turned to ice.
Crunching and creaking sounds echoed from the airlock wall. And zagged lines cracked through the metal with Hale’s hand as the epicenter. After the metal was white and frozen through, Hale took a few steps back.
Then he charged directly for the the frozen area and slammed the right side of his body, mainly his shoulder, against it. The airlock door collapsed and fell outside, along with Hale.
Pandora dashed to the edge of the new opening and found him swimming to the shoreline. “Hale!” She leaped out of the ship and followed him. “Are you okay?”
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When he reached the shore, Hale pushed himself upwards with his right arm. “Most of me. My left arm is kinda sore. And now my shoulder.”
She dropped down to his level on the wet sand, the shoreline waves intermittently hitting them. “Can I take off the armor on your arms?”
He nodded.
Timidly, Pandora shifted behind him and carefully unbuckled and unstrapped the metal guards along his shoulders and then then his arms. She touched his left arm, covered by the sleeve of his black, protective shirt. Her fingers were wet, not with water, but blood.
Without Hale’s permission, she grabbed a knife from one of his pockets and started cutting from the collar of his shirt down the sleeve.
“What are you doing?” Hale groaned.
Having cut through both sleeves, she pulled his shirt off his skin, exposing his bare chest. “I think your arm is broken.”
“I doubt that.”
His shirt gone, she had a full view of the damage his body had sustained. “No, I was right. But it’s worse than I thought. It’s a fracture.”
Hale glanced over to his arm and immediately looked away, wincing.
“How were you able to move this arm?”
“I don’t know. Just stop touching it!” Hale snapped.
Pandora sighed in annoyance. “Shut up, and let me help you.”
Hale’s pained, twisted expression relaxed to a grin. And he laughed a little. “Alright, no need to get angry with me.”
She rolled her eyes, then blushed. “This might hurt.”
“I think I can handle it...”
Pandora placed her hands close to the fracture, closed her eyes, and slowly breathed out. She could sense his pain internally and saw the broken bone clearly in her mind. And she could see how to reconnect the fibers of his bone and even strengthen them.
A radiant energy surged from within her into the bone and reunited the fragmented ends in a stronger bond then before.
Afterwards, she turned her focus to the mutilated flesh on his arm and sealed his gashes perfectly. He was left without a scar or any evidence of an injury.
She stroked his firm arm where it once was broken. “How do you feel now?”
She looked up at his astonished face, his eyes gazing admiringly at her. Offering no response, he seemed to not hear her words. Or maybe he was ignoring her.
But he did offer her a smile, one of fierce gratitude.
Pandora looked down, needing distance away from his smile and his gaze that revealed a feeling more sensual than simply admiration. However, Hale must have wanted her to look at him. He brought his hand to her chin and lifted her face so that he could gaze into her eyes.
His smile widened. “Y—you... that... was amazing.” He sighed deeply, happily. “You’ve saved me again.”
“You did the same for me,” Pandora replied, her cheeks flushing.
He slowly ran his hand up her jawline and stroked her face carefully, but not hesitantly. His smile fell and was replaced by an expression of longing, deepened by his lustful eyes.
She couldn’t calm her rapid heartbeat or protect herself from the gravity that seemed to surround him. She tilted at imperceptible pace towards him, stopping a couple inches from his lips. And she closed her eyes.
His slow breaths whispered on her skin, and a golden warmth emanated from his presence.
If she were to move a millimeter closer, her lips would have brushed against his, but she was too apprehensive to make the first move.
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For a moment, Hale evidently had risen above his past hesitation, her feeling the touch of his lips on hers.
But it was only a touch. And only for a moment.
After that, he lowered his hand away from her face. She opened her eyes and watched him stand up and step away from her. She couldn’t be sure what he was feeling now, by his expression, except that he seemed annoyed because of his frown.
She looked to the waves rushing against the shoreline at her feet and hoped to find a distraction, not from Hale, from herself and her own disappointment. What burned within her was anger directed at the return of Hale’s hesitation. And underlying her anger was anxiousness for Hale to show her exactly what he wanted. She was tired of his suggestive glances and all his other small ways of revealing his desires. Words would no longer be enough.
“I’ll be back,” Hale muttered, wading back to the ship.
Stunned by the coldness in his tone, she held back every reply she thought of, wanting to avoid regret from speaking hateful words.
When Hale returned from the ship, he wore a sleeveless shirt and his backpack on his shoulder. He had various weapons strapped about his upper body.
He walked right past her, avoiding eye contact. “I’m going to find shelter,” he said, his voice trailing off in the wind.
Hale was walking away from the shore in the direction of a resort-style city. Huffing, she rose to her feet and followed him.
His pace was unnecessarily fast, and she assumed the reason was that he wanted to keep the distance between them. There was no other reason for him to hurry. Vannu’s single sun was high above them and looked as though it wouldn’t set for several hours. They had plenty of time to seek out shelter.
Pandora was almost running, trying to keep up with him, his quick strides covering twice the distance of hers. She didn’t want to be close to him. She just didn’t want to lose sight of him.
After a few minutes, they passed over the wide beach and entered the city limits.
Standing on the ground level of the city, Pandora had to slow down so that she could admire the sights above. The resort buildings were disk-shaped apartments set in tiers on a few central towers and their branches, making a canopy over the land similar to giant trees. Windows spanned around the sides and ceilings of the white disk buildings. Glass bridges connected the disks on the same tier to one another.
When she looked back down for Hale, he was unsurprisingly way ahead, and she watched him go through the entrance of the closest tower. She dashed after him.
* * * *
Hale broke through the tower’s entrance doors, pushing the resort doorman out of the way. The lobby was cylindrical in shape, and in the back of the room was the main elevator that must have allowed access to every tier of the disk buildings. As Hale marched through the lobby, other guests stared at him with fearful eyes. He ignored it, but it made him feel uneasy. He figured the guests were just regular people; therefore, he had nothing to worry about because they were only staring because of the weapons he carried on him. But that didn’t stop him from being aware of the movements each individual in the room made. Coran had many friends throughout the galaxy.
Hale scolded himself for not finding his helmet when he had gone back inside his crushed ship. He didn’t want to risk being recognized, but he had no choice currently. The fact that Vannu was rather remote was a good thing. Perhaps Coran, like himself, had never heard of Vanuu, which seemed to be nothing more than a tourist trap.
He stepped up to the front desk that the receptionist stood behind. She greeted Hale with a friendly smile... that is, until his exposed guns caught her attention.
The receptionist inched away from the desk. “Can I help you?” she squeaked, mainly staring at his large sniper.
“I need a room,” Hale replied casually.
“You do?”
Hale raised his eyebrows. “Why else would I be here?”
She laughed nervously. “Right. I forgot.”
“Do you have a suite available? I need something with two separate bedrooms ideally.”
The receptionist looked over the screen on her desk. “Room 702 is available with two king sized mattresses in separate rooms. Is that sufficient?”
“Yeah, sure.”
She stared at him, offering a very fake smile, and stood completely still.
Hale shook his head. “Isn’t this the part where I pay, and then you give me a keycard to the room.”
She jumped. “Oh, yes!”
Hale handed her his payment card. After she scanned it, she slid it across the counter along with the keycard to room 702. He glared at the receptionist before turning around.
Pandora was there, about two meters from him, waiting with a frown and glazed eyes. This look she gave him stung a little. He had gotten used to seeing her smile.
He averted his eyes and walked to the elevator. Pandora followed, and they stepped inside together. She leaned against the back wall, as far away from him as possible in the limited space. He pressed the button for floor seven and then stood near the center of the elevator chamber, his back facing her.
What had happened between them on the beach was a mistake. And he had known it before he touched her lips. The adrenaline that had rushed through him after the crash helped him to ignore the restrictions he had placed on himself regarding Pandora. And he had almost ignored them completely…. He had almost kissed her.
He was simultaneously thankful and shocked that he held enough strength to hold back what he had wanted all along.
He closed his eyes to relive that tiny moment once again. He needed to be sure that... that the moment wasn’t one sided. And he smiled inwardly, knowing now that it wasn’t.
But it didn’t matter how she felt, either way. He had already decided he couldn’t get any closer, not to her. He had just witnessed the cost of allowing his feelings run wild for another person: losing everything, including almost losing her too.
Someone like Pandora didn’t deserve to pay for his behavior, his choices. But she would if she continued to stay around him. She needed to go back home, far away from him, and stay there. He had to push her away, somehow because his feelings for her had interfered with his life long enough.
The elevator doors opened automatically, reaching tier seven of the resort. Hale went out first and walked down the hallway to find their suite.
He held up the keycard to the scanner, and the door to their suite slid open. Hale stepped in and dropped his guns and backpack by the entrance.
The main room was excessively spacious with a high ceiling, and the back wall was a panoramic window with a perfect view of the beach. A long sofa and a decorative table faced the window. Connected to the living room was the kitchen barricaded by a curved bar counter for dining.
Hale went up to the mini bar in the kitchen and reached for a drink inside. He hardly read the label, only looking for the alcohol content. Finding it sufficient, he took a sip.
“Stressed out?” Pandora scoffed, standing by the entrance.
After swallowing, he turned to her. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I think everything stresses you out,” Pandora responded curtly.
With a heavy hand, Hale dropped the glass bottle on the counter. “Did you see what happened?” He stormed over to the window and pointed to his smashed ship in the distance. “Do you see that?”
Pandora approached him cautiously. “Yes, Hale. I’m not blind.”
He clenched his fists. “With no ship, I can’t take you to Garra. We’re stuck here!”
“I’m sure we can find another ship.”
Hale laughed sarcastically. “Oh, sure. If I had the money to do so I would. BUT I DON’T!” His frustration flared through his voice. “Unlike you, money is something I have to work for!”
She drew farther from him and shot a hateful glare his way. “Do not talk to me like that, Hale!”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he seethed. “I’m not perfect like you. I’m sorry if I YELL WHEN I GET ANGRY!” His deep voice echoed violently through the room.
“I don’t care if you’re perfect. You don’t have to be perfect to stay calm!”
Compared to him, her tone and her responses were so reserved, which made his yelling seem crueler and further magnified his flaws before her.
“Just go away,” he growled in disgust. He stomped past her and stepped through the entrance to the balcony outside.
“No, I’m going to stay right here.” Pandora ran after him, “And you are going to tell me what’s wrong. Because I have certainly done nothing to make you angry. So I know it’s not me.”
Hale gripped the balcony railing and stared at the rushing ocean waters crashing against his ship, which was a perfect example of what he himself had become. Crushed. Unable to function. Worthless...
And he blamed Pandora.
She was the one he had already died for, then almost died for again. She was the one he had risked everything for to help her on some bizarre quest. She was the reason Zaya had pursued him and destroyed his only ship.
And they were stranded now. He couldn’t help her anymore. He had nothing left. Not even his willpower because he had drained it completely, just trying not to fall for her.
And he had failed even at that.
Hale spit out words without restraint. “It is YOU! It’s all you! If you never hid in my ship that day, I wouldn’t be stuck here. WITH YOU!”
Her face contorted into a scowl. “So you’re actually saying that this is my fault?”
“Yes. And I never should have agreed to this! It’s a waste of my time!”
She stepped away from him, her eyes tearing in disappointment. Her hands trembled at her side. “This isn’t my fault. And I’m not going to let you blame me.”
Hale didn’t try to stop her from leaving. He leaned against the balcony railing in silence. The distance from her was needed.
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