“There there, love. Let it all out. Oh there’s more, Christ, keep letting it out then.”

I clutched the toilet bowl and heaved again as the man behind me held back my hair.

“There we go. All out?” he patted my back. After a few seconds to make sure, I nodded, and lifted my head out of the toilet.

“Thanks for that. Why are you in the women’s room?” I wiped my lips with my hand and went to the sink to wash out my mouth.

“I’m not.” he pointed to the urinal, then to the condoms dispenser.

“Oh, right.” I finished cleaning myself, a splotch of half-digested tequila had landed on my favourite hoodie, I balled it up under my arm.

I finally got a look at the man, pulling himself off the ground. He was young, but tired-looking, and seemed familiar. I must have been staring, he gave me a slight wave.

“Julian. We’ve met like, twice. I open at the mackies.” Julian. It had been something with a J, I’d been half right.

“Thanks for the help.” I stumbled past him and patted him on the shoulder.

“No problem, do you need a hand getting home?”

“I’m not going home just yet.” He didn’t reply, and I slunk away.

Money wasn’t much of an issue anymore, whatever Sid’s source of funds was, it was enough to set everyone up with a little extra, which meant drowning my feelings out with lots of cheap booze. I looked up towards the booth I’d set up in, there was a woman sat across from where I’d been spending the evening. No, not just a woman. Jodie.

Fuck.

“Fun night so far?” She was twirling a mini umbrella. I didn’t reply, and sat down across from her, waiting for whatever scolding I’d get. Jodie didn’t say anything though, she didn’t even look at me, she just played with the umbrella. I rubbed my eyes, the bar was loud, and definitely over capacity. But it was out of the way, and Sid’s fucked up coven couldn’t find me. That had been the plan, at least.

“How did you know where I was?” I finally asked.

“You’re using her card.” Right. Of course, I was an idiot.

“Speaking of which, give it here.” So that’s what she was here for. I hadn’t made the cut, Sid didn’t want me, she’d be coming for the flat next, wouldn’t she. I handed the card over and Jodie left. What happened now? I’d kept my job, but the RWHS still wanted my head. I’d have to find a new flat, maybe move out of the city, up north. I’d have to convince Dotty to come with me, she had a target on her back just as much as I did-

“Here you are.” Jodie came back with two drinks, something tall and reddish-pink, and a tumbler of whiskey. She slid the card back across the table, “Pick one.”

I grabbed the tumbler, and she took the cocktail. Seeing the most imposing woman I knew sip a cocktail through a twirly straw might have made me giggle, on another night. She didn’t seem to care.

“It’s late, I thought your friend didn’t like you staying out past curfew.” I didn’t answer. Could I do it? Could I pull her into talking again? How awkward would she suffer the silence? She looked unfazed and took another sip. However long she could hold on was obviously longer than me. “How’s the drink?” I asked.

“Fruity. too much grenadine, but good.” She took another sip and then frowned at the drink as if it would make it less sugary.

“Why did you come here, Jodie?” I asked after downing the whiskey, it tasted slightly oily.

“You missed training today.”

“Fuck you.” Jodie’s eyes shot up from her drink at that. Finally, an emotional reaction. She opened her mouth to say something but decided against it and took another sip.

“You killed that man.” She finally said. “When you used your magic, he would have died on impact.”

“Stop.” I’d just gotten the image of his neck away. I’d just forgotten it, even if only for a moment.

“If not he would have been too paralysed to feel himself go.”

“Stop.” I clenched a fist on the table and a shiver rocked me.

“I’m telling you this because after my first kill I spent too much time trying to find a way to excuse myself, ended up fucking myself up worse than if I’d just accepted it.”

“Stop.” I found myself simultaneously wishing that I had something to do magic with and thanking myself that I didn’t.

“So accept it. You’re going to have to do it again, you’re not going to enjoy it but you won’t regret it either.”

The whiskey tumbler smashed over her head before I realised I’d picked it up. I’d imagined a confrontation like this, a sparring match, jibes about the student and the master, deliberate and well-practised moves. Instead, I grabbed at her hair to pull her across the booth. My hand hit the air, she had a ponytail and by the time I’d made the decision to grab at her jacket she had elbowed me in the jaw. The bar looked over just in time to see the end of it. There was a low cheer for Jodie from the room, Julian included, and a note of complaint from the man behind the bar that I didn’t register. Jodie pulled me up out of my chair.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” She kept one hand guiding my shoulder and walked me, stumbling, towards the women’s room.

The women’s room smelled like vomit, which strangely enough wasn’t mine. Jodie balled up a large wad of tissue and soaked it in running water, before squeezing it out and offering it to me. “I didn’t break your nose, you’ll be fine.” Blood was starting to drip from a cut just under her hairline, where the glass had broken. I’d hit her, that was enough, even if she did ignore it. “These are going to need stitches, though.” She took my hand, where the tumbler had shattered, and it was slick with blood. “Never let glass break in your hand, there’s always too much of a chance it’ll fuck you up, exactly like this. If you have to use it, hit with the base, it’s less likely to shatter on you.”

“Can’t you just magic it away?” Jodie glanced at the stalls, they were all empty, so she looked back at me.

“Not in public. Besides, I don’t know enough about your biology to risk it. Hand.” She ran my cut hand under cold water, it stung but she didn’t let go when I flinched. “It won’t be that deep, but see a doctor soon enough. Or Katrine’s fancy new toy.”

“Why did you come here, Jodie?” I asked again.

“I told you, you missed training.” She hesitated.

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Jodie” She finished wrapping up my hand, there was half a roll of blue tissue paper on it.

“Sid wants you. She doesn’t want you losing it, doing something stupid. I’m damage control.”

“To come shoot me if I go to the police.” The whiskey was kicking in and I was bleary

“To stop you from trying anything with the RWHS,” Jodie replied after a pause. “All done.” She started working on her own forehead.

“Fuck you, Jodie,” I mumbled and walked out of the bathroom.