13-YEARS-AGO

„Aaa,” SolHi shouted, right away touching her head with the left hand because the hit of the ball on her head was well felt by her. Outraged, she right away turned to the left and looked toward the basketball court where two teams of young men were fooling around, pretending to have a game.

SolHi watched each of those present there, but none of them bothered at all at least to ask her if she was alright, but rather they were giggling, proud as the peacocks that they could hit a ball, namely on her head, the one considered the little wild cat of their school.

To calm down, SolHi deeply breathed in, put in order, as well as possible, her hair, the jacket, and the skirt and, after this, she took a few steps toward the court. But she stopped when she caught sight of Dja Iun, the 17-years-old teenager who was insistently looking at her as if he found, in her person, someone worthy to be loved by him and also to have some fun with her, meanwhile.

„Hei, Grunny, what about giving us that ball if you're still heading for us?” Dja Iun told her in a demanding voice, but in fact, inside him, he was forcing himself not to burst laughing because SolHi’s face really looked comic at that moment while her eyes were sparkling, she had her fists squeezed so hard, and the corner of her lips was slowly shaking because she would have loved to catch that big guy on the hip, the one who dared to make fun of her after hitting her head, because SolHi was sure that he did that intentionally. „Are you playing the deaf girl right now?” Dja Iun added and, after sticking his hands into his pockets, he headed toward her at a slow step. „Well, be like you want!” he said, stopping only two steps in front of her.

SolHi instead came up smiling, focusing her furious glance on his, and analyzing each detail of his face, but Dja Iun was a guy that could control his emotions well and nothing in his movements or facial expressions was betraying the fact that he was bothered by her killing glance.

„So, will we get that ball back or what?” he told her in a cheerful voice, meant to provoke her even more.

„To have it back ... well, you will have it, but I’m not sure you’ll like the way you’ll have it back,” SolHi told him, hissing the words through the teeth and making him understand that she won’t allow them to trample her under the feet.

„The important thing is to recover that ball!” Dja Iun told her and smiled.

SolHi smiled too, but that smile wasn’t for sure the usual one… it looked more like Jerry’s grin, from the cartoon when he was about to play a prank on Tom. So, SolHi turned her back to the young man and approached the ball, which had fallen only a few meters from them. Then, she took it in her hand, holding it with both hands, and after a few seconds, she started to play with it, throwing the ball up with one hand and catching it with the other one as if juggling.

„Interesting! Did you play some sports?” Dja Iun asked, somehow amazed by the calmness SolHi had while playing with him at that moment because the young man was sure that she won’t give that ball to him that easily, but she’ll make him pay for that hit she has gotten in the head.

„Aga!” SolHi answered without watching him and she stopped two steps from him, continuing to play with the ball.

The other young men had already started to make fun of the two, whistling and shouting to Dja Iun to kiss the girl if he dared to stop her and if he couldn't convince her by only asking her, then he should steal a kiss from her.

„Your friends?” SolHi asked, still staring at the ball.

„You can say so! At least, they are someone I know,” Dja Iun stuttered, clumsy because he spotted SolHi a long time ago and he even tried to make her notice him too. But all his efforts had been in vain - SolHi threw the received flowers into the trash right away after having them, the sweets were eaten by her colleagues, the love letters were torn unread, and if he sent her a message that he was waiting for her in someplace, SolHi simply was ignoring him.

This grated on Dja Iun’s nerves eventually because he couldn’t understand at all how a girl like her, pauper and „not beautiful” at all, dared to ignore him. So, he started to tease her with jokes, trips, and, from time to time, SolHi was getting some flying object on her head or back, but it hadn’t been ever thrown with a big force - but even so, it hurt like hell.

However, even if she tried to stay away from trouble, more knowing what kind of guy was Dja Iun, SolHi finally plucked up her heart and decided that it was time to ask him to pay for everything he’d done to her because everything has a limit and SolHi already reached hers.

„And… what kind of sports did you say that you play?” Dja Iun asked, after clearing his throat to cheer up.

„I? The cannibalism!” SolHi suddenly said and the ball from her hand had been transformed into a missile body that flew straight to Dja Iun’s face, and he didn’t even realize when he'd been put to the ground.

The young man recovered from his dizziness due to the others' laughter and the first thing he saw was SolHi’s happy face while squatting in front of him and he was in a sitting position and with his back against the court’s net of protection, as he fell out after the hit.

„You’ll need this,” SolHi told him in an ironic voice, giving him her kerchief and motioning that he had a bloody nose.

„Shit!” Dja Iun murmured, jerking the kerchief out of her hand and pressing with it his bloody nose. „Was it absolutely necessary?” he asked furiously.

„Greater the crime, higher the gallows, my friend,” SolHi told him in a sure voice. After this, she stood up, intending to go. But she stopped, listening to Dja Iun’s words, loudly telling her this to be also heard by the others. „Be my girl, Ian SolHi! Be my girlfriend!”

SolHi bit her lower lip first, hard enough actually that she felt the bitter-salty taste of the blood, and how hard she bit her lower lip so hard she squeezed the fists too, and this movement of her brought the other young men closer to the net because it was something predicting a damn interesting action. However, SolHi thought differently because she hated to have witnesses when she did something, especially if this something was related to her life and at that moment, she had dozens of eyes watching her and that's why she furiously stared at the young men.

To calm down the spirits, Dja Iun stood up, motioning to the others to make tracks from there. But …who was the fool there to leave and to lose something interesting?! None of the young men moved from his place. More than that: they came closer to them, waiting with an interrupted breath for SolHi’s answer which actually hadn’t been late to be heard or better to say to be felt by Dja Iun as a punch in his beard. And …to be honest - he considered that punch as being a damn powerful hit of a hammer, even if he tried to avoid the hit as he learned to do while training. But yet, even if the punch was from aside, it still made a deep wound on the beard that later became a scar and a good reason for SolHi to make fun of him each time they met after that day.

But… it wasn’t enough for SolHi and she didn’t feel avenged either. So, before coming to his senses, Dja Iun had to face another ration of her hatred: tightly grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and hissing through the teeth, SolHi told him - „if I hear at least one more time something stupid like this coming out of your mouth, I swear that I’ll break your head, Iun Dja Iun! What? Girlfriend? Yours? I’ll better remain a vestal for an entire life than to gang together with you. I have enough problems in my life to solve yours too. And you…,” SolHi shouted, suddenly turning toward the others that were watching the scene with pumped eyes as if they met the bear face to face. „When I’m passing by, I hope not to hear a single sound coming from your mouths or you’ll pay for that even worse than he did,” and to be sure that everybody listened to her, SolHi kicked the most painful part of Dja Iun’s body, blew the hair off her face and moved with sure steps away.

„Wait! This is not what you… Sol…,” Dja Iun was stuttering while stretching his hand to catch up with her while crouching on the ground and trying to calm the pain felt after the received hit between his legs.

However, that day has been crucial for Dja Iun and he decided to change the tactics once again: the hits, the blows, and the rest of the mockeries whose target was SolHi as if by magic vanished, and in their place showed up the „espial.”

Well, it doesn’t mean that he became a stalker or something like this, but yet, he was there where SolHi was - everywhere and always. More, he started to work on the same fishing boat as she was and this only to be next to her and to help her because even if SolHi worked for many years on that boat and could face well the difficulties, she still couldn’t manage to move heavy boxes with fish while the young man resulted perfect for this and, in time, they got to be friends, but no matter how hard Dja Iun didn’t try to make her understand that what he feels for her is more than a man feels for a simple friend, SolHi always stood stock-still.

Over the years, Dja Iun became a real responsible guy because the fact that he was close to SolHi, who was always busy, made him move away from bad companies and he was fighting only to defend SolHi who wasn’t fairly off for enemies and envy people, even if she didn’t do anything to deserve such treatments coming from them who considered her as being the black sheep of their village.

But Dja Iun’s protection ended when they were 20 and he entered the military. Two years later, he didn’t turn to the village as he promised her but moved to Seoul to study and work and he turned back to the village only twice: at his grandparents' funerals because even if he was in touch with them, the hard life in town and the fact that he had to work for him and for them to assure them a quiet old age kept him away from them and this also influenced his friendship with SolHi who became just a person he had known once, even if he still had feelings for her.

Yet, the reputation of his youth time as a brawler once again showed up in his life, many years later when he was tired of feeling cheap in front of his bosses, forced to do things that he didn’t like, and more fighting for others and he started to fight to make others value him. But he fell into his own trap when his last boss involved him in a dangerous game with human trafficking, drugs, and other things and he was about to die while trying to get out of all this.

But he survived eventually only due to the fact that a few days before the police's unexpected visit to the warehouse where they were operating and where his boss was hiding his „goods,” Dja Iun has been hurt and he was home that night, taking care of his wounds. Yet, he received a two years sentence for passive participation in a criminal group due to a „good friend” who revealed his name to receive fewer years behind the bars.

Getting out of prison, with the little money he had, he opened a small sports club where he was teaching others taekwondo as his father had done. Thus, he made friends with one guy, then with another one and he formed his own gang thus, and, when he found out what happened to SolHi, he really became obsessed to make her justice and for this, he had to involve in a lot of shits he hated. But even so: he didn’t want to step back, even if he knew that SolHi won’t ever see him as a worthy partner in life because he was sure that she suffered for nothing and that she'd been considered a murderer only to pay for someone else's fault.

Their reunion had been completely random: two years before his death, Dja Iun started to frequent a club where he knew that operate a lot of scammers and he was trying to find out this way at least something that could lead him later to the real criminal of that case. But he had been unlucky because namely when it had to be his last visit to that club, SolHi and her team came there while being after a known scammer.

He recognized her right away she entered the door, but Dja Iun didn’t go to greet her, knowing that she won’t let him go that easy, more finding him in that club which had a bad reputation. So, he just jumped through the club’s window when the police broke the door and he spotted SolHi, and he did this because he wasn’t eager at all to stay for another two years behind the bars.

But not for nothing others were calling SolHi „dog nose” - she spotted him jumping through the window and she followed him and the chase after him on the narrow and dim streets of the Seoul City slum lasted for about half an hour. But even if he wore out like hell, despite the intense, daily training, SolHi seemed to get fresh powers with each breath of fresh air. So, at a crossroads when Dja Iun looked back and didn’t see her, he thought that she gave up and he had a bad idea to stop and to gasp for breath and right at that moment, SolHi jumped over him, putting him to the ground and fighting to handcuff him.

Barely heard, he murmured her name. But even so, he didn’t manage to make her attentive and because of this, he saw himself forced to yell: „SolHi, it’s me! Dja Iun! Don’t you recognize me?” and this made SolHi turn him toward her and watch him.

„You?” SolHi shouted, furiously. „What the hell are you doing here?”

„I? Nothing important. I was just… looking for somebody.”

„In that club full of scammers? Don’t even try to fool me, Dja Iun! Tell me, are you again in trouble? Are you again doing bad things?” she shouted and grabbed him by the collar, suddenly pulling him to her.

At that moment, someone passed by them riding a bicycle, and the weak light of the headlight of the bicycle illuminated Dja Iun’s face, but this made SolHi step back, frightened - Dja Iun had a bloody face, as he had after the accident where he lost his life. But … he had his eyes closed and he didn’t see her shaking like a leaf in the wind due to the fear and the guilt she was feeling for him. So, at the moment he opened his eyes and watched her just as he did while breathing his last breath, SolHi screamed and fell to the ground, crawling back and back and… back.

***

SolHi actually let the same shout she gave in her dream come out of her mouth when she woke up after falling off the sofa in DooSan’s living room. Despite his solicitations, she preferred to sleep there and not on his bed or on the big and comfortable sofa in his bedroom.

Sitting on the floor while moving her hand through the hair, SolHi had rapid breathing that made her heart beat fast in her chest because that dream, she had had about Dja Iun made her feel guilty, much more guilty than before, knowing that it was possible that he’s been killed because of her.

„Damn!” SolHi murmured, barely heard. „Why did he hang together with Min SinJu?! Because of what happened 7-years-ago? Don't make me laugh, Iun Dja Iun. If the police didn’t manage to find out anything and nor I, who I’m directly involved with this, how the hell could you think that you can? Especially that… shit!” and she supported her body with her left hand to stand up.

„Aaa,” she murmured, feeling so well the pain in her left wrist that she was always managing to injure it, no matter what she was doing. Anyway, supporting her body on the sofa, SolHi managed to stand up, but she didn't do any step in front when she felt so dizzy, which forced her to close her eyes.

And she stood like this for several minutes, but she opened her eyes only when she felt that the gauge pressure in the eyes was gone. However, she was still seeing through darkly while her breathing was faster and faster as if she was about to have an asthma attack.

„It’s just an illusion. A simple fantasy,” SolHi mumbled, trying to take heart, knowing very well that it wasn’t the environment to have that asthma attack because DooSan hadn’t lavender in his apartment and she knew this well.

Barely crawling her barefoot legs on the cold floor, SolHi approached the fridge and she opened its door with difficulty. But the sudden light from the inside of the fridge made her stay frozen in front of it for minutes, staring at what was inside of it and not having a damn idea what she was actually looking for inside there. Only after minutes of staring, did she spot the water bottles and she stretched her hand to take one, but when she withdrew it to close the door, she hit the ketchup bottle with her elbow that was on the door shelf, throwing it on the floor.

However, she didn’t pay attention to this, only at first: she left the door to fasten, then she opened the water bottle and drank with thirst, but when to put the lid on the bottle she finally saw a big stain of ketchup on the floor because DooSan had the habit not to close well the ketchup bottle and its content had been scattered all over. Seeing that stain, SolHi thought that it was blood all over in front of her eyes and this made her shake like hell, continuously mumbling: „he's dead! I killed him!”

***

Woke up by the noise of the water bottle that fell from SolHi’s hand, DooSan first sat up in bed and stared confused around. Then, with his eyes half-closed and scratching his neck, DooSan looked at the door and said: „SolHi, are you there? Something happens?”

Nobody answered instead, and this amazed him a lot because he was sure that the noise had been made by her and that there wasn’t any ghost in his apartment.

Then, seeing that he doesn’t get a reply back and that SolHi also didn’t come to see what he wants, DooSan grabbed the alarm clock from the bedtable and checked the time: „3.30! What the hell does she and not sleep at this late hour in the night?” DooSan murmured and, supporting his body on the crutches, he stood up and left the room.

Arriving in the living room he was amazed a lot to see everything sunken in darkness. Only in the kitchen, small bulbs with sensors were turning on and off as if someone was constantly moving back and forth next to them. Then, pricking up his ears to listen better to what was going on because seeing nobody there he found it really weird, DooSan started to slowly step toward the kitchen, from where was finally heard a muted sound as if someone was trying to cover his mouth not to be heard his cry or shout.

Slowly approaching that place, DooSan finally saw SolHi crouching behind the cupboard and staring wildly at the ketchup scattered on the floor and at the red stain seen on the sleeve, but what she was seeing in fact was blood and not ketchup and because of this she was covering her mouth with her hand - not to be heard crying because streams were flowing on her cheeks while she was shaking with all her body.

DooSan let the crutches fall on the floor and, supporting his body with his hand on the corner of the cupboard, he managed to kneel next to her. Then, he first touched her shoulder, but SolHi didn’t look at him, not even when he asked „what’s going on, SolHi? What’s wrong with you?” she didn’t look at him.

„Blood!” SolHi murmured eventually, but this amazed him a lot because he hadn’t a damn idea what she was talking about. „Blood!” she murmured again, shaking even more than before.

This made DooSan be alarmed and he suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her to react. „Ian SolHi, look at me! SolHi, look at me! Detective Ian!” but she kept staring past him at that bloodstain on the floor while Dja Iun’s bloody face was seen right in front of her eyes.

„I killed him! I … I took his life. He died because of me. Only because of me,” SolHi said among shrieks and tears.

„Come to your senses, SolHi! This isn’t blood, do you hear me? It’s only ketchup, for Christ’s sake. You have to shake for this too, huh?”

„Ketchup?!” SolHi murmured, keep staring both at the stain on the floor and at DooSan. „It can’t be!”

„Yes, it can! Look!” and, grabbing the ketchup bottle he showed it to her, forcing her to stare at the name of the product. Then, he took the water bottle that was fallen not far from her and gave it to her. „And this is water. It seems that you dropped the ketchup while looking for water in the fridge. Nothing more. So, come to your senses for once and stand up! Now!” he demanded her and he forced her eventually to stand up.

Then, supporting himself only on a crutch while with the other hand he was supporting SolHi, DooSan forced her to follow him into the room and to lie on his bed. Then, he covered her with the blanket and, also sitting down on the bed, DooSan started to slowly tap on SolHi’s arm to calm her down.

With closed eyes and squeezing the corner of the blanket to her chest, SolHi crouched, approaching DooSan more who kept watching her confused because he couldn’t understand what could have provoked such a crisis in her. Only when SolHi fell asleep and she grabbed his hand, powerfully squeezing it as if she was afraid not to be left alone, DooSan murmured. „What happened to you, SolHi? What exactly did you see and live 7-years-ago if you shake like this now only seeing ketchup on the floor? And… what I’m more interested in is to find out what happened between you and YuSan. Did you really have a love affair and the child you lost was his? No, it can’t be because even if I don’t fully trust you, I trust YuSan because he was a wide guy, a good man and if he knew that he’ll have a baby, even if your pregnancy wasn’t something planned, he would have shouted it to everybody because YuSan loved children, he dreamt to be a father, to have a baby into his arms, and he would have told me first about this because… no matter what other say - we loved each other like brothers, we respected the other one and we helped each other a lot, and… he wouldn’t have left this world having secrets from me. Never. And yet… what the hell was between you two? Why were you together that night and why you’ve been both injured that night? Aaa? Can you at least answer this question, SolHi? Can you?”

But there wasn’t anybody there to answer his questions because YuSan was only a memory, a beloved brother that left this world 7-years ago while SolHi was asleep and her mind was so stubborn, fighting with everything and everybody just to keep secret those memories, to forget those events as if they were cursed.