《Hello, Inside Monster》CHAPTER XXVIII: PATSY
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On the rear part of the bike a big box with fish, tied with rubber bands, is seen. In front, at the horns, is SolHi who’s easily pushing the bike as if it didn’t have anything heavy on it and this makes DooSan wonder if she’s really human. But he doesn’t wonder because of the fact that sees her so calm and so patient, despite all the shits that happened to her the last days, but because he sees her smiling all the time while greeting the old villagers she meets on her way.
“What’s wrong with her?” DooSan mumbled, staring at her. “In the office, she looks as if someone all the time bites her while now she’s all smiles. Or, does she do this only to piss me off?”
“What are doing?” SolHi asked and he suddenly stopped, staring at her, amazed to see her stopped too and looking at him. “Are you trying to chase away some ghost or what?”
“What do you mean?” DooSan said and, slowly scratching his head, he looked around at all those eyes fixed on them.
“The fact that you are following me. I thought that I made myself clear when I said to lose yourself from in front of me, but from what I see you didn't catch the point.”
“Aaa, this was. Well, let’s say I’m stubborn and … I never gave up if I have something in mind and … I think we should move further: I don’t like all these eyes that are fixed on me.”
“Do you mean the “surveilling cameras?” SolHi asked while smiling, but her joke made DooSan grin. “Don’t worry: they aren’t shooting anything. Just: a kind of blind surveillance,” and she winked at him and continued moving farther.
DooSan was forcing not to smile because he never expected to see this part of SolHi: funny, smiling, and beautiful while the wind plays with a strand of free hair that falls on her face. While they were stopped and she was watching him, DooSan felt that he wants to touch her face and to take away that strand of hair, that was covering her beautiful eyes that started to be something so dear for him.
“Aaaa, what the hell?” DooSan mumbled seeing SolHi smiling while talking to a man she met in her way. Even if the man wasn’t young and SolHi couldn’t be interested in him, DooSan moved anxiously. “Damn it, Han DooSan, it seems that you already feel jealousy and this she isn’t even your girlfriend. You definitely are out of your mind. Remind me to fix you when we are back in Soul.”
“SolHi, is that a giraffe following you or what?” an old lady, who was sitting in front of her house, asked while staring at DooSan with furious eyes and SolHi smiled.
“Adjuma, don’t worry: he’s not a giraffe. Only a prosecutor from the capital.”
“And? What, are all the city boy cripple or what?” and this remark made DooSan stare at the old lady with wide-open eyes, but his expression was something that was making SolHi smile and he definitely wasn’t looking for her to make fun of him.
“Adjuma, shh!” SolHi made a sign toward the old lady to be quiet. “Don’t say this, adjuma! He’s a very respectable man! And prosecutor! There, in the city. It will be rude if we talk like this about him. Better to be nice, don’t you think?”
“Big deal he’s a prosecutor if he doesn’t know how to respect a lady. Hey, you, big man, help her and don’t stay like a mummy while she’s carrying heavy boxes. Or what, are doing the same with your mama?”
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DooSan forced a nice smile, but this didn’t make the old lady be nice to him. “At least help her with pushing.”
“With pu…pushing?” DooSan mumbled, staring at SolHi, who was about to burst to laugh. Then, he approached her and took the horns of the bike from her hands. “It seems to me that you are fully enjoying your triumph, isn’t it?”
“Does it look like so?”
“Absolutely!” DooSan pushed the bike so hard that he was about to turn it upside down if SolHi didn’t grab the box. “Sorry!”
“Are you doing this intentionally?”
“I don’t know: do I?” he mumbled and finally could move the bike from its place.
SolHi finally burst laughing, taking him by surprise, but soon after he also laughed and moved away while behind them the old lady was shaking her head reproachfully because she wasn’t seeing in him a man who deserves SolHi.
***
“Wait for me here and if you are a good boy maybe I’ll buy you something to drink” and she again winked.
“Now I look like a dog, huh?”
“Maybe,” she said, and, shrugging, she took the box and entered the minimarket.
DooSan shook his head. “I definitely made a mistake coming here. She has now the power to make fun of me. But … wait, Ian SolHi. Wait, when we are back in town, you’ll see who Han DooSan really is.”
He took off the jacket and threw it on the wooden bench that was in front of the minimarket. Well, it looked more like a small quay than a bench, but DooSan didn’t care anymore about it. He sat down and, supporting his body with his hands on the wood, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun.
An old man with a red husky approached DooSan, but he was so focused on relaxing that he didn’t notice them till the dog didn’t touch his leg with his snout. Only then, DooSan had opened his eyes and saw the old man sitting next to him.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” the old man asked while looking at the sea seen not that far in the distance. “I lived a life here, but I’m still not tired of seeing this beauty.”
“I agree with you, even if I’m not that kind of person who spends a lot of time in front of the sea. But my brother was: he could stay for hours next to the sea and listening to its whisper.”
“And he knew the wise secret of this world if he was close to the sea. In fact, SolHi also loves the sea, even if she hasn’t that much time to enjoy it.” The old man looked at DooSan, who was surprised that he was talking to him about SolHi. “Aaa, you probably are asking yourself how I know that you are SolHi’s friend. Well, it isn’t a secret that can be kept for long here: everybody already knows that a strange man came for SolHi and that he’s a prosecutor.”
“The surveilling cameras,” mumbled DooSan, but he right away smiled, seeing the old man watching him. “Nothing special. Just … thoughts in voice.”
“By the way, I’m Pan. The old Pan how everybody knows me in town and here’s my little girl,” he said, seeing SolHi approaching them.”
“And I’m happier seeing Kochiko than you two,” SolHi joked and threw a bottle of water toward DooSan. “Your reward.”
“I thought that my reward was what you have in your hands,” he said looking at the snack.
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SolHi kneeled next to the dog and fed him while caressing his fur. “Well, I changed my mind. Kochiko deserves it more than you. Let’s go, Kochiko! Let’s have a walk till these two old men have a talk,” she said and started to run toward the sea, followed by the dog.
“Poor kid,” the old Pan whispered in the end when SolHi was already far away from them and couldn’t hear his whisper.
“Who?” DooSan asked, watching him interested.
“I’m talking about SolHi. Many are seeing her happily smiling and think that she has everything in life. But only the old men that are living here know the real story behind that shiny smile.”
“Did something happen to SolHi? I mean, something bad.”
“From what I see she still doesn’t talk to anybody about her dark past.”
“Dark past? What dark past?”
“Well, the right question is here: what didn’t happen to her? From being abandoned by her father while still being a baby to a mother that never loved her... Actually, SolHi’s mother now doesn’t even recognize her because of her illness: schizophrenia.”
DooSan stared amazed at the old Pan and only at that moment he noticed that the man is almost blind, but he was more amazed to hear that SolHi’s mother was suffering from schizophrenia and that she never told them about it because he was sure that Kan also didn't know about it.
“I have known her since she had been born, but even if I knew that she suffers next to her mother I couldn't help her: I had my problems too, but even so, not only once I took her from under the bridge in the cold nights when her mother threw her away from the house, letting her wander the surroundings frozen, hungry and dirty. But even so, she never gave up. She started to work when she was eight, on the same fishing boat, only to have food on the table and help her mother that she loved despite she never felt that her mother loves her too.”
DooSan joined his palms trying to hide the shake of his hands this way. “What about her father? Did he never ask about her?”
“Why do this? He had been always a migrator. Actually, SolHi’s father wasn’t Korean. He came here in search of a better life, but he fell “into the trap” of a woman that had a baby only to keep him next to her, but even so, he went. He abandoned them when SolHi was a few months only and I don’t have a minor idea if he saw his girl later. Also, that “dad” left his wife with a lot of debts that also SolHi had to pay them back in the end. I’m surprised that she’s still on feet and didn’t collapse as her mother did.”
“Is her mother that sick?”
“Sick is just a nice word to describe her. If one day you start to know SolHi as we know her, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. But … what makes my heart bleed is that this kid never stops suffering and this damn life that makes her cry all the time and takes everything away from her like it was 7 years ago.”
“I didn’t know that SolHi told you about what happened then.”
“Actually, she never told me this. And I don’t really know what happened in that big city, but the matter is that SolHi once again had been kneeled because of life and was forced to bite the bullet and to move further.”
The old Pan stood up and moved toward the minimarket, supporting his shaking hand in the stick he had with him. DooSan stared for a while after him, but in the end, he stood up too and moved toward the beach where SolHi was playing with Kochiko: she was happily laughing while the dog was running after her.
Suddenly, Kochiko catches her from behind and SolHi falls on the sand, “forcing” with the dog that was looking for a play in her arms.
“She’s so beautiful,” DooSan whispered, watching her with love while in his chest the heart was madly beating, announcing to him that from that moment he hadn’t anymore the right to avoid her.
***
DooSan and SolHi are walking side by side on the paved road that leads toward the other side of the village. While DooSan is pushing the bike, tightly holding the horns in his hands, SolHi watches the seagulls that are flying above the waters.
Both are keeping silent, but between them isn’t felt anymore the muggy atmosphere that was felt at the beginning, when they had started to work together. “What a relief,” DooSan thought, seeing her smiling again while watching the dancing of the birds with the sea's small waves. But what in fact made DooSan happy was to see from close the beauty of her face and a kind of an alive sparkle in her eyes while her rebellious hair was moved by the wind who started to slowly blow.
DooSan stretched his hand and touched her head and this sudden movement made SolHi watch him surprised. Seeing himself trapped in his own game, DooSan quickly retracted his hand and looked elsewhere. “Don’t get me wrong. I was just trying to take away your hair from my sight. I couldn’t see the sea.”
“You could have taken a step-in front. Thus, my hair for sure wouldn’t have bothered you.”
He slowly coughed, looking for a chance to think about the answer. “I didn’t think about it. It seemed to be easier to take your hair way, then … well … how better to…”
“Ya, let it go! You are starting to get confused in your own game. And … I’m sure that old Pan had something to do with this. What did he tell you about me?”
“The old Pan? About you? Nothing?” DooSan mumbled.
“And why do I have the feeling that you are lying?”
“Because you don’t have enough faith?” he said and forced a smile.
“Do you think that I entered the police only because I hadn't anything else to do? I can smell liars like you from far away.”
“And I hate when you are acting like this.”
“Wow, something new: a confession. Well, surprise me! Why so?”
“Forget it!”
“If you started to talk about it, then be kind …”
“Look … look … look! This is what I hate: that you are acting like a detective with me. Be yourself, woman, and … stop pissing me off! And … let’s have a ride!”
SolHi stared at him in amazement. “A ride? With you … on this bike?”
“It’s the only one we have.” Somehow shy, DooSan looked elsewhere and this made SolHi wonder what he was planning at that moment, but she couldn’t deny his proposal because DooSan didn’t give her the chance: he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him, forcing her to climb on the bike, in front of him, and after he also climbed, he started to quickly move the pedals.
Moving away, with her next to him, DooSan closed his eyes for a moment, deeply inhaling the scent of her hair and this made him feel dizzy and so happy at that moment, so fulfilled as he didn’t feel for such a long time.
SolHi instead, feels so strange, because she had been never treated like this: as a woman. She had been always forced to act like a man, fighting for her place below the sun. But now, with this man behind her that somehow is trying now the solve the things between them, she understands that she never knew what life really was. And … neither the love.
***
Beautiful music is slowly singing in DooSan’s ears, who is looking for something in one of the rooms while listening to the song “Lady in Red” by Chris De Burgh on the earphones:
“The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek,
There's nobody here, it's just you and me,
It's where I want to be,
But I hardly know this beauty by my side,
I'll never forget the way you look tonight”
Suddenly he drops the phone from his hand when he noticed SolHi spying on him from in front of the opened door. “For God Sake, SolHi, you’ll kill me one day. Why are you sneaking around like a black cat? Couldn’t you inform me that you were here?”
“And to lose all the fun? Not all day long I’m catching someone looking for something between my things,” she said and moved away from the door, leaving the tray with the food on a small table that was on the terrace.
“I wasn’t looking for anything. I just … I was just looking for a towel. That's all,” DooSan mumbled upset, following her. “Why don’t you believe me?”
“Because it’s impossible to believe it, Han DooSan. Especially after all the dates, when you told me that you’ll find “the evidence I’m hiding,” or, aren’t you remembering this now?”
“Ya, you are exaggerating now, ok? I was just…”
“Han DooSan, just … stop it, ok? You could have just simply asked me if I have something hidden here because I’m not that stupid to invite you in my house knowing that I’m hiding something from you.”
“Then you are hiding something.”
“Maybe. Who knows?! Maybe I’m hiding something, but … let’s just have dinner. I don’t want to argue with you.”
SolHi sat down at the table and started to eat. At first, unwillingly, she took the spoon in her right hand, but it started to badly shake that SolHi had to pretend to be ok when DooSan approached her and sat down in front of her, staring at her unhappily. SolHi was pressing her right hand with the left one, trying to stop the shaking. But seeing that she doesn’t manage to do it she just grabbed the spoon in her left hand and started to eat with it, avoiding DooSan’s piercing glance.
“You don’t believe, don’t you?”
“Can we eat, please? In silence?” SolHi said, forcing her not to yell. “I’m looking for a peaceful night.”
“And now it’s my fault that she is in a bad mood,” he mumbled and filled his mouth with food, but after chewing a few times he suddenly stopped and stared at her. “Did you poison it, by chance?”
His question made SolHi throw the spoon on the table. “And we are on the lands of dragons and witches. I can’t believe this. Or what, did every single person you meet in this life try to kill you by poisoning you?”
“Not every person is capable of what you are,” he said and continued eating. “But I must recognize that you don’t have such a courage to poison me while looking into my eyes, isn’t it?”
SolHi suddenly grinned, taking DooSan by surprise. “Who knows?! Maybe I’m the witch from your stories and maybe I dared it.” Her words made DooSan caught, while she burst to laugh. “Ya, if this food was poisoned then I would have been the first to die. I can be killed by the lavender, remember?”
“Good to know!”
“Ha-ha, but it wasn’t funny at all.”
“Well, I must recognize it. I was a little bit … how to say it to sound nice … I just wanted to be a bad boy. At least once in my life.”
“Why? Don’t tell me that you have in mind to try to kill me here and this way … nice and clear: she got lost somewhere.”
“Ya and before killing you we got a ride on the bike, like two lovers. What a surprising manner of getting rid of somebody. And … I still remember the last night we spent together… after that for sure I’m the main suspect if something happens to you.”
“Ya, have you lost your mind? Don’t even repeat it, ok? If someone hears you can tell that…” suddenly, SinHa, SolHi’s mother, grabbed her by the hair and forced her to stand up, while pulling from her hair.
“You … easy woman you are. How many times did I tell you not to see you again next to my husband? But you never listen and I’ll show you what means to mess with the wrong man.”
DooSan and the old lady, who takes care of SinHa, approached them, while SolHi was fighting to release herself. “Adjuma, leave her! I’m not … I’m not…”
“I’m tired of seeing you in front of me… next to my husband and destroying my family. Why don’t you…”
Suddenly SolHi pushed her away from her and with tears in her eyes, she yelled at the woman: “and when you’ll see me too, mother? When you’ll stop mistaking me with my father’s mistresses?”
“You …you … how do you dare to…?” SinHa yelled because she wasn’t recognizing SolHi, but SolHi was staring at her while tears were washing the soft skin of her cheeks.
“And how did you dare to bring me into this world only by being your patsy for my father’s sins? You never considered me being your daughter and you never loved me, but … no more remorse, Ku SinHa. Starting today … I stop feeling remorse in front of you.”
SolHi turned her back to them and moved in the distance … as faster as she can walk because leaving the yard of this hell that kills her every time, she steps over the threshold of this house is something that she feels now as being her salvation. If she stays a second more there, she’ll definitely be the patsy, but one that kills someone in the end.
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