《The Other - a (man) called Ted》Chapter 41 - Hop, skip, and a jump
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Dawn arrives on the 99th level of the Great Dungeon, as much as it could be called “dawn” with the mockery of a sunrise that exists in this place. But it did arrive and along with it birdsong and the call of various non-magical insects. Slowly crunching her way back into camp is Sia, looking around suspiciously while wearing a vest-jacket she wasn’t the day before. Thunderhammer Bladebill is resting comfortably on her shoulder.
As she arrives, Ted’s tent opens up and he steps out and stretches while surveying the surroundings. When his gaze finally lands on Sia, she grins and immediately jumps the distance between them while shouting “Catch me~!” Bill, having none of this, spreads his wings at the start of the jump, slides backwards off her shoulder, and glides slowly to the ground.
Hands and arms outstretched, the airborne woman flies towards Ted. In his mind, he briefly considers just moving out of the way to let her land herself, or on her bottom if he moves fast enough. Then he realizes there is something in the front of her vest. In resignation, he opens his arms and, through a sigh, says in an eldritch tone, “Svelte.”
Sia, with a grin on her face, continues along her trajectory and then slows down significantly, then to a stop. Hands and feet still stretched out midair, she makes a grasping motion with her hands as she is otherwise immobile, about two feet in front of Ted. With a sigh, he reaches forward and lifts a relatively young Lightning Jack out of her vest.
Holding it gingerly in the crook of his arm, he looks Sia in the eyes and asks, “So, what is this about?”
Seeing him absent-mindedly petting the small creature, she continues to smile. Having clearly heard the commotion, Sidney and Madilyn roll over enough to peek out of their tents to see what is happening. Bill settles in on his perch next to the fire pit they dug.
Hanging there, as she can’t do much else besides wiggle her hands and feet, Sia deigns to enlighten Ted.
“Mama Fleur told me before we left that if you are ever sad you will need a pet project to take your mind out of dark places, so I got you a pet!”
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“So why is this one here?” Ted replies, holding the electric bunny fully in his palm, up to her nose. After sniffing at her, and she looking cross-eyed at it for a moment, the Lightning Jack hops onto her head and turns around.
“She said that a while back you were quite fond of rabbits, so Bill and I went back to the bunny-den on the last floor and asked around. His horns aren’t quite in yet but he hopped up! I call him Lyle!”
“Lyle?” Ted asks the bunny with raised eyebrow. Lyle sneezes in a way only rabbits can, and continues to sit looking at Ted. “I see, Bill did the best that he could and Lyle is how it ended up.”
Disregarding Ted and Sia’s shenanigans, Madilyn and Sidney roll back into their tents to get ready for the day. From their time in the village to now, they have been privy to the exuberant and yet simple interactions between the two, though it did take them quite a few years to realize the masterminds behind most pranks were these two arguing about a rabbit.
“Hey,” Sia whispers in a mildly nervous tone that only Ted can hear as he remains close. “Did I do a good job? Are you feeling any better?”
Leaning in and hugging her mid-air as he dissolves the magic holding her there, he whispers back in her ear.
“You’re a dork. Thanks though.”
Happily humming she hugs him back as hard as she can. Lyle hops over to Ted’s head in the process. This is followed by several minutes of playful arguing as Sia manically laughs and says she will never let go while the rest of the camp is picked up without her help. Sidney and Madilyn have to remind themselves yet again that Sia is older than they are by a fair margin.
- - - - - - - - - -
Several weeks later, the group which is questionably still more humans than not arrives at the staircase to the 89th floor. Instead of the ‘cave-with-a-staircase’ Sidney and Madilyn are used to, this has a decidedly more ‘cave with a shallow pit filled with sand and a staircase’ theme.
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“I know it’s a dungeon thing,” Madilyn begins, “But why is it that the bottom of the staircase is the same theme as the floor above? I would have made it so that you get some semblance of what to look forward to as you arrive on the floor.”
Despite not wanting an answer, Sidney chimes in with his theory.
“It’s probably to help out people who are leaving, that way they know what to expect on the next floor up in case they forgot after spending all this time down here.”
“That makes no sense though!” Madilyn returns. “Dungeons are supposed to be terrible places right? It’s probably to cause despair or something!”
Ted, Sia, and Bill exchange glances and smirks as they share in a secret that has become an ongoing joke for the last 9 floors. Sidney in particular has been trying to figure out how Sia, and occasionally Ted, manage to magic their way to the top of the stairs without him noticing. Ted and Sia in particular are inwardly lamenting the day when it will no longer be possible to avoid the truth as more and more adventurers appear.
“So, what’s on the next level that we are stopping here for the night instead of heading on?” Sidney asks.
Breaking out of their quiet joke, Ted replies in an entirely serious tone with a very wide grin, “Well, it involves lots of sand, and it’s hot.”
“Oh, you don’t say?” he replies, kicking a line of sand towards one of the walls.
“Specifically, on the lowest numbered floor of this set, there is a great desert with a few oasis, much of the floor’s natural activity happening at night or the dawning hours.”
“Yeah, but there’s a catch isn’t there?” Madilyn asks rhetorically, while laying down on one of the very large and broad benches.
“But of course!” Ted replies. “On the 89th floor it is mostly desert with a very large active volcano near this staircase.”
“Of course,” Sidney says, laying back onto Madilyn. “What would make a desert hotter than the addition of a volcano. You know Madi, I think whoever designed this place was a sadist, or at least had too much time on their hands.”
Bill, in the most duck way possible, chuckles while Sia and Ted grin yet again. Lyle, having managed to settle into his nest of Ted’s head, says nothing.
“What do you have to say about this Magic Rabbit?” Sidney asks, turning his head towards them.
Lyle, having finally sprouted two small horns, responds after a moment with a small lightning bolt arcing and humming between the horns.
“Oh wise Magic Duck, please interpret for me what Lyle meant.”
“Qùáck.”
“Lyle!” Madilyn exclaims in mock horror. “Would you say that in front of your mother?!”
“Qūack.”
Sidney begins laughing while his head is lying on Madilyn’s stomach, while she attempts to be scandalized.
“She’s the one that taught you that?!”
“Seriously though,” Sidney begins, “What can we expect when we get up there?”
“Well, unless things are very severely outdated, there should be sheep. Lots and lots of sheep. A few basilisks, rock lizards, proper dungeon-spawned rock golems.
“Sheep? How can they survive with all of those other things you mentioned?”
“Well, they probably have shepherds, as wool is a good business last I checked,” Ted begins, before breaking into a smile. “The real question is how are ‘all those other things’ surviving in the presence of the sheep?”
“What, so these are demon sheep or something?”
“Satansheep, to be specific, though they are typically docile enough. And travel in flocks. And are taller than me at the shoulder. And they can spit fire. And reportedly they have a habit of chewing on rocks like candy.”
“Wait, seriously? How is that a sheep?” Sidney asks while propping himself up on an elbow to look at Ted.
“They have wool and it makes for very nice clothing. You’ve worn some plenty of times, it’s what your jackets the women in town made for you are made of. Almost everyone new to the village stops by there first and helps the shepherds in lieu of payment for the wool.”
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