“Finally! We’re here!” proclaims Madilyn, slumping down on an ancient stone bench in an ancient alcove with two doors. “Why did it take so long? I thought it would be quick if you two had made the trip before!”

“I was three.”

“And I was 10!”

“So what you’re saying,” says Sidney slowly, sitting next to Madilyn, “is that you don’t remember, and you didn’t care.”

“We’re here now though!” is Sia’s instant reply.

Sidney continues, “I still am having a hard time believing we are actually in a cave. We have seasons and weather and everything! Stars in the sky!”

“I won’t bore you with the details,” says Ted, “but one of the scholars I read is confident weather is copied from the outside world, just a day late and from one far off place or another. But now we have to make a choice remember? Do we take the easy way that will get us a lot of attention or the long, slightly harder way that lets us do what we want for longer?”

“I mean,” Madilyn begins, “I like attention and all but the stories people told us these last several years made it seem like the attention we would get immediately would mean more meetings and talking to people, and more meetings…”

“I should be strong enough to protect us from most things,” Sidney says. “All the old adventurers said I should probably be fine after beating me into the ground for the last three years, and I was finally able to crack Ted’s barrier in one hit. My dad said that barrier could stop an adult manticore sting, whatever that means. Can’t believe that was the final test for him…”

Sia leans in briefly towards Ted as Sidney and Madilyn complain about the ‘final exams’ all of the townspeople put them through the last week before leaving.

“Hey, that barrier wasn’t your strongest one right?” she whispers.

“You remember Brinlog, back when you first started… exploring?” he asks back, and receives a nod. “His parents both hit the real one with ‘fire’ the first time we met. At the same time. Chronologically speaking, that was reason number two why they call me a monster.”

“So if you two are done conspiring,” declares Sidney, “we want to go the long way. Where are these cups we’re supposed to drink from?”

Smiling, Sia runs up and grabs the two’s hands and pulls them along, into the left door.

Inside there is a small diesis, which materializes a stone chalice filled with liquid for every person that steps into the circle surrounding it. Seemingly without much thought, Sidney picks up a chalice and downs the contents quickly. Seeing that he hasn’t keeled over and died, Madilyn follows suit. Sia grins, and Ted swirls the liquid around a bit.

“Hey,” Sia says with a mischievous smirk. “Do you two even remember what happens when you drink that?”

“Nope,” Sidney replies with a shrug. “All of the adventurers said it was a requirement and her old man insisted on it so I stopped paying attention after that. Seemed weird but so are old people.”

Sia immediately jumps in before Ted or Madilyn can correct him.

“You two are married now!” she says with the widest of grins.

Sidney stares blankly at Sia for several seconds, before looking at the chalice again then over at Madilyn. Madilyn on the other hand, appears to be cycling between embarrassment and apoplexy, apparently settling for hurling her empty chalice at Sia as Sidney looks at her. Sia and Ted break down in laughter as she winds up for the throw.

Quickly fighting through laughter, Ted comes to Madilyn’s rescue.

“That’s a lie,” he says, wiping away the single tear from his eye. “The short of it is if anyone gets a bit handsy or worse with you, they’ll probably be struck by lightning, and no that isn’t a lie.”

Realization dawns on Sidney as he reads between the lines, and Madilyn isn’t far behind in realizing what her father was implying. She silently begins fuming because he isn’t present to argue with.

“Now if you’re done,” Ted says, pausing briefly to drink the fluid, “that is our exit.”

Ted points to a recessed hallway that seems to darken far too quickly. Sia, after finishing her draught, grabs Madilyn’s hand and pulls her gently towards it, even though she is still fuming.

“Alright folks! Remember to hold hands for this part, we don’t want to get lost in the dark scary tunnel!” she exclaims, waving Madilyn’s hand in the air. “Ted and Bill are last in line, so hurry up!”

Giving up on what he cannot control, Sidney grabs Madilyn’s hand and pulls Ted along with him as Sia begins to march forward.

“My lady and gentleman-,” Sia says as darkness closes in.

“Boy and duck!” she continues as it envelops them all.

“Despite the magical darkness, welcome to the Bottom of the World!”

“I thought we were supposed to be leaving? What’s going on then?” Sidney asks from somewhere in the middle.

“The reason, hold on a second, left or right from here?”

“Quack.”

“Left it is. The reason the old farts in the village trained you so hard was because, if you took this route, it would be very difficult and a long journey. There are only two ways to enter this place, one by one-way portal tunnel, and one by ignoring a warning. However, there is only one way out, and that is up.”

“Ted is normally the cryptic one,” complains Madilyn. “So what does this mean Ted?”

“I’ll put it this way,” he says. “Welcome, one and all, to the one hundred first floor of the largest dungeon on the planet, the one hundred floor Great Dungeon!”

“And when they said you would need to ‘climb out,’” Sia continues, stopping. “They mean quite literally. There is a ladder in front of us here, keep your hand on the wall until you get to it. Once we reach the top, the adventure begins!”

- - - - - - - - - -

“Who is the sadist who designed that ladder!” complains Sidney, having finally reached the top and collapsed. “If we had to carry things normally I’m fairly confident I would have died!”

“Calling that a ladder is quite generous,” Madilyn says, slumped over herself. “The darkness made it hard to tell but it seems like we climbed forever, and the spots to put your hands and feet were narrow and shallow. How do people even make it to the village if they have to go through that?”

“Because they don’t,” Sia replies, gesturing. “Way off over in that direction there is a particular tree with a particular arrangement of flowers that opens another one-way portal to the area around the village. Supposedly there’s a magic circle under all of that which reads the Akasha, but every time someone disturbs the place the portal disappears without a trace.”

“That’s right,” Ted says, finally peaking over the edge. “Don’t let the 200 meter pit of doom cause you to despair. Let that Dire Grizzly over there do that. I hear it is in the five weakest creatures on this floor.”

Rolling to his feet, Sidney takes a few steps forward to the front of the group as the bear charges. With a serious look on his face, with magic swirling around his limbs, he manages to stop the clawed hand swinging at him without moving at all. In what Sia will later and sarcastically call a brilliant move, Sidney decides to pull the bear towards him while rolling backwards to launch the bear towards the ‘pit of doom.’ After releasing the Ursa and getting back on two feet, he looks towards his handiwork, proud of the minimal effort and execution of the throw.

To everyone’s surprise except Ted’s, but especially Sidney’s, the bear is seen entering head first into the magical darkness, at the same time it is seen exiting the magical darkness at a slightly higher altitude, and heading right back for him.

What follows can generally be described as a scramble, with Madilyn assisting with support spells from time to time, Ted still hanging at the edge of the pit, and Sia smirking as she watches over the brawl from Madilyn’s side. After what seems like forever to Sidney and the bear, they both collapse in exhaustion. Bill, having seen the conclusion after waking from his nap atop Ted’s head, waddles over and quacks at the two of them briefly.

With a seemingly heavy sigh, the Dire Bear slowly stands up, gives an imperceptible nod to the duck, and slowly trundles off into the forrest whence it came. Soon enough, the shadow of Ted looms over Sidney.

“You want any help or are you good there?”

“Just… Just give me a few minutes, I’ll be good,” he replies. “I was really hoping that first trick would work though, Harris is the one that taught me that, said he and Hammond used to fight when they were growing up.”

“What was that about anyway?” Sia interjects, looking specifically at Ted.

“Simple really,” Ted says while picking up a rock, tossing it at an angle towards the wall of darkness. Seeing it arcing towards her, Sia grabs it out of the air on the return. “How else would the pit not become full to the brim after a few centuries?”