《The Other - a (man) called Ted》Chaptah Electric Boogaloo

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“Remember what I told you to do Miss Fontine, it’s showtime”

“Shut up you short haired bastard.”

“Atta girl.”

The Other and sheepkin walk through the gates of the pleasure district. The Other leads the way to one of the * slave shops and then walks past its two burly and well oiled guards. Upon entering they are greeted by a thin male orc with his hair greased back and wearing a tweed suit.

“Welcome Sir and Lady!” he declares in a mildly sonorous voice. “It is an aus~picious day to have you visit us. Please, sit, let us bring you some refreshments. You may call me G’dar, I shall be your host for the evening.”

As Fontine does her best to glare at the oiled men and dainty women, of all shapes and sizes. The Other takes a seat and starts talking after throwing an arm onto the back of the couch while motioning with the other.

“Oh that’s appreciated, but I’m a man who likes to live on the edge and keep moving. I’ve recently come into a small windfall this afternoon you might say. Did you see that exhibition fight! Absolutely amazing!”

“No, unfortunately not,” says G’dar. “Though I see you managed to pick up a souvenir yourself. I must say it sounds like it was an amazing fight, and you must be filled with adrenaline!”

“Oh, you have no idea,” interjects Fontine while glaring at them both.

“So! I thought about finding some tail to have some fun with. I heard from a friend this was the place to go when I started asking around.”

“Hoh? How wonderful, and I think we have something that may suit your tastes.”

G’dar sends one of the other attendants to the back after a handful of women. A number of minutes later, after much posturing and glaring on Fontine’s part, five women were brought out wearing bright clothes that emphasized their curves and showed off their legs. A catkin wearing revealing swimwear and a beach towel partially wrapped around the waist, an elf in an evening dress with a high slit, a wolfkin in a wrap, another catkin but in a sun dress, and finally a foxkin in a qipao. All are wearing either a wristlet, anklet, or collar.

As the Other makes some perverted laughter in order to bait the orc, G’dar orders the women to turn around and show off their hips. Fontine is glowing red from actual embarrassment and palpable anger at all of this.

As the Other starts making comments on their superficial appearances, G’dar is calculating in his head.

‘I’ve seen this type before, so I should be able to get at least 5 lakh gil for the first, third and fourth, and I’ll bump it up to 7.5 if he picks the second. The last however… K’mal in Stubai said he had an inquiry about the girl, but since it was only by bird he was only able to write “Expensive Fox.” That only tells me someone is looking for a foxkin and is intent on obtaining it at high cost… Damn him and his cryptic messages! I’ll set her at two million and see what happens.’

“Ah, but this one!” declares the Other, interrupting G’dar’s thoughts. “I must say, this foxkin is quite the beauty! But what can you tell me about her?”

As the enslavement tools are preventing the women from speaking, the Other turns to G’dar for what G’dar expects to be the beginning of negotiations.

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“That she is indeed! A beautiful flower such as this has been taken care of for a very long time and has neither laid with man or woman. Given her maturity this is quite something, and naturally she is worth every gil spent. Are you interested enough to hear her price, or would you like to look some more?”

“Oh I believe she’s the one! Definitely the one!”

“Sir customer has great and expensive taste indeed. She would be two million gil, which I believe a man of your caliber should not find unreasonable for such a gem.”

“Oh really~?” The Other says, smiling slightly and squinting his eyes. “I do believe you are correct in calling her a gem, and I also believe you will be selling her to me with one less zero.”

“Surely you jest,” says G’dar, while thinking the Other is just some bum who ran into some extra cash. “If you don’t have that much and want to negotiate, why don’t we look at the other merchandise. Unless you were thinking of threatening me with your… bodyguard.”

“I whole heartedly agree with you that this bastard is a piece of trash,” Fontine says to G’dar, before turning to the Other. “Enough of this fool’s errand, when you hired me I never expected you to start messing with a * * wendigo. If you want to play around let’s find somewhere else, we found the girl and now we can avoid it.”

If orcs could turn pale, G’dar would be turning a lighter shade of green. His assistants and guards quickly slow and freeze at the word ‘wendigo.’ Due to the restrictions on the merchandise, the level of terror seen is significantly less, but not completely repressed.

“Ah, you spoiled the surprise!” exclaims the Other before crossing his arms and attempting to pout. “Since now you’re curious, my ‘friend’ was working with an orc named K’mal and said a wendigo showed up, walked through his establishment and asked for a foxkin, delivered three days prior. Said something about getting his information from a bloke by the name of Thane in Kerimo, handed what he said was a letter of introduction from Thane to K’mal. Well, long story short, my friend found out Thane was still alive and K’mal had passed a poorly drawn map to the wendigo. Naturally, I found out and took a shortcut to beat him here, and even arrived in time for the matches today!”

“Really…” G’dar says while trying to swallow some saliva. “But how can you prove this fantastic story of yours is true.”

“Oh please,” the Other begins while reaching into his pocket. “Who in their right mind would joke about a wendigo? Humans who have seen too much terror, been exposed to too much miasma, lost in the planes of existence to follow their instincts. Humans have minds that can easily be bent for evil, so give them power on top of that? Pchaw, madness. My friend was supposed to bring this to you, but I volunteered because I thought it would be fun. I was told it’s the letter K’mal sent with the abomination.”

G’dar reads the letter quickly after verifying the seal.

My dear cousin, excessive apologies are due for the present circumstances. It would seem one of our recent acquisitions will be incurring far more costs than we expected. For all our sakes, I hope you have already sold the foxkin in the last shipment so you may send it on its way. If not and our now mutual, horny, acquaintance has handed you this letter, it would be in all our interests to pass off this expensive foxkin for whatever its asking price is. ~K’mal

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“So,” G’dar says slowly. “What’s your plan from here, if I entertain this madness. These things can see through the truth of the matter, so I’d much rather live until I die, and that be a long time coming still.”

“Oh, that’s easy,” says the Other, leaning forward with conspiratorial hand clasping with elbows on legs. “I leave town, and head west. And since you’re a good businessman, I’m even willing to pay you the two hundred thousand-“

“Two hundred and fifty thousand.”

“Fine, two hundred and fifty thousand as I expect to enjoy entertaining your merchandise in the meantime. You can even pass that along if you think it will help clear the atmosphere I’m sure that creature will bring to this fine establishment. I obtain a fine piece of tail, and you get a solution to a very interesting problem.”

“While I feel like I’m losing here, I don’t feel like I would be losing as much as I could be, so it’s fine,” G’dar says. “You three, go get the documents and reagents. You, foxkin, stand here, the rest of you go back to your rooms.”

G’dar’s company quickly finishes the official paperwork as well as transferring ownership of the foxkin’s anklet so that the Other can give and modify orders. After the Other leaves with his newfound ‘trophy,’ G’dar takes four-fifths of the cash and sends three attendants off to buy various charms and magic devices in the vain hope of warding off the wendigo.

The Other, in the spirit of giving Fontine a heart attack, proceeds westward to a Love Hotel and pays for an hour with the understanding they will be forcibly removed if they are found in the room after the warning knock. They make their way to room 34, with the Other pulling the foxkin along by the hand.

“Oh! Almost forgot to check,” the Other says, pausing when he reached for the handle of the wooden door. “You are Helen, correct?”

The foxkin looks at the Other suspiciously before nodding.

“Excellent! Your father sent me after you, or was it your grandfather? Any~way…” the Other says before flicking his hand over the doorknob in a seemingly random pattern when a triangle and dial appear on its surface. He spins the dial around a bit and motions with the arrow to touch a new position.

“Welcome to my home~!”

Bafflement befalls Helen as the door opens into a large stone room with a table in its center. Fontine on the other hand is still reeling from the roller-coaster of emotions she’s felt over the last five minutes, and has trouble even processing the fact the floor changes from wood to drab stone over the threshold.

Seeing their hesitation, the Other directly passes Helen into Fontine, then floats both a millimeter off the floor and pushes them through the door. As Fontine reacted to Helen, she was further distracted and unable to stop herself from entering. The Other steps through and closes the door behind him.

With the loud boom of a closing metal door, Fontine finally snaps out of her trance.

“What is this? Where are we? What is going on?!”

“Exactly what I told you before? Ah, just a moment,” the Other replies before placing his hand on a seemingly random spot next to the door, which lights up. “Fleur, princess rescue protocol 3, plus an escort. Not that kind, the normal one.”

After removing his hand from the wall, he motions the two towards the metal wrapped altar in the center of the room.

“Let’s remove that anklet from you first. Hop up there if you please, it won’t take long.”

“Won’t there be problems if you remove it? Aren’t there all sorts of failsafes and traps that-“

Click

“You would need… specific… reagents to change?” Fontine continues, slowing down in order to try and catch up.

“Of course you would, if you were to follow the proper procedures like we tell people when we designed these. As one of the creators though, this is a trivial problem in a place like this. How do you feel Helen?”

“Hrrmmmm,” she begins with a low growl while thinking. “Seems, to be fine. How, did you find me? And what, of the wendigo?”

“Wait, that was real?”

“You seem parched. Fontine, help the young lady down please, I’ll explain momentarily.”

The Other pours mana into the altar, and with a rumble it seems to rise to the ceiling. Or rather, the floor begins to slowly drop.

“As you have probably figured out, I am the possessor of many unique magics. This lair, combat and charms, arms and tools, the list will go on. When tracking your whereabouts Helen, I used a type of charm that I modified from another one. I’ll spare you the real spell, but it is similar this one I told Fontine about.”

The Other spreads out his arms and casts the Ideal Woman charm on himself. He spins around briefly to the wide eyes of Fontine and Helen, then snaps his fingers to change into his battle gear from earlier that day, then snaps again to change into a uniform similar to what Bill the rabbitkin was wearing. With a final snap, he changes into something a standard peasant would wear and holds out his arms, dispelling the charm as the floor settles into position.

“You can compare notes if you want, but I can practically guarantee I looked different to both of you, and that I looked fabulous in all of those outfits. The curse and blessing of beauty as it were. Now back to the main subject, imagine that, but wendigo in an oversized cloak.”

“I-. I don’t think I want to,” says Fontine softly with mixed emotions.

In the interval, several golems bring out a proper table and chairs, with tea and snacks. One golem stands at the Other’s side after pouring three cups.

“Helen, Fontine, this is Fleur the golem. Fleur, this is Helen, the one we are returning to Daisy Acre Trading. Helen, do you want to head back as you are, would you like to rest a bit, or would you like to change and head back? Or are you hungry first?”

After hearing the name of her father’s company, Helen relaxes a bit more and sips the fruity tea. “These clothes are embarrassing, but this tea is nice, so can I change and eat? Or are you an actual pervert and going to tell me to change in front of you? They didn’t let us eat often, so it’s been since probably dawn. I’d rather, catch up to myself, before having to deal with Father and my fiancé.”

“By all means. Fleur, show Helen to a spare room with an appropriate wardrobe. Fontine, feel free to join them and if something catches your fancy, try it on and keep it. I’ll go arrange for food, so it will be about half an hour.”

Saying such, Fleur bows in silent acknowledgement while the Other heads towards one of the many corridors now lining the room. After he leaves, Fleur motions towards one of the other holes in the wall in a graceful fashion. Sighing in disappointment at the relatively short time to get changed, Helen drains the rest of her cup and gets up to follow the golem. Fontine looks back and forth between her cup and the retreating Helen before deciding to follow.

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