《The Explorer Saga》73: Trust and Happiness

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The ride back to the Mainframe was silent.

I was fine with that thanks to all the anxiety that had disrupted my stomach. Shu would help us out, but I hadn’t given him much of a plan mostly because I didn’t have one myself. We didn’t even have a guarantee that Frost would attack tomorrow. We just knew that she was coming. And we didn’t have a way to communicate with the ruabrum. If they showed up on the surface tomorrow and there wasn’t a huge fight going on, it’d hurt their image even more. It might even land them back in captivity.

I’d been doing this crap for months, how was I still bad at it?

Once we returned to the ship, our friends (all except for Beth) greeted us and asked for details. Exo, in particular, who seemed upset that I never updated him while I was actually on the mission, wanted to know more. I suggested holding a meeting in an hour to formally discuss our next move. We needed a quick break anyway. I looked around for Kaela after announcing that, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“She headed for the elevator.” Dylan jabbed a thumb toward it. I hadn’t even said that I was looking for her, so it must have been obvious. He, Laura, and I were the only ones left in the room. “What happened on the mission that I wasn’t allowed on? Kaela never looks that sad…in public anyway.”

I sighed. “The ruabrum tribe’s leader was selling them out in exchange for Beatitudinem. Kaela didn’t take kindly to that news.”

Dylan’s eyes widened then he sighed too. “Beatitudinem? That explains it. Her mother overdosed on that stuff, you know? Took it every day after her father died in Frost’s invasion. Well, I suppose it was the AI’s invasion first. Anyway, there came a day when Kaela’s mom took too much of her fake happiness. Poor little Kaela called the police and waited for them to come…as she watched her mother die. She never really talks about that day. I’ve just picked up pieces of the story over the years. That’s how badly it affected her. That’s partly why she fakes her own happiness. Because how can you ever feel happy again after viewing something like that?”

“In a world where nothing is funny anymore, it’s up to you to make the jokes.”

That was what Kaela said to me the first time I came to Red City. It was only fitting that I’d get the rest of her story in the same city. Losing her mom so soon after her dad was one thing, but being in the same room when it happened? She must have felt so powerless. She’d been through so much.

“She told me,” Laura said. “Once.”

Dylan scoffed. “Because you’re her girlfriend.”

“Wha—so?!” Embers drifted off Laura’s hair, floating around her like paper lanterns. Was that her version of blushing now? “We need to talk to her. She can’t go through life avoiding the mention of Beatitudinem and then acting like this when it slips off someone’s tongue.”

“I would, but I’m not the best at being ‘gentle,’ or ‘compassionate,’ or even a ‘good friend.’” Dylan walked away. “I’ll just check on her later.”

Laura shook her head. “I thought he’d changed more than that. Whatever. Let’s go check on her.”

We headed up to the “human” floor. I had no idea what it was actually called. Laura and I passed by an army of doors until one of them slid open. Beth stepped out of it. The room she was stepping out of was Kaela’s. Had she come to check on her too?

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“What? I was already up here when that moody brat came stomping toward her room,” Beth said as she approached us. “I was just curious. Maybe you’d died on the mission, I don’t know.”

Beth was trying her absolute best to make sure I didn’t think she actually cared about us. Ironically, her excuse was that she cared about me instead. Of course, my formerly kind sister was awful at hiding her feelings.

“I don’t care why you’re here. How’s Kaela?” Laura asked.

Beth shrugged. “She’s not crying or anything. I guess she’s okay. She’s your friend though. You go check.”

“I was planning to,” I said. “The mission went fine by the way. We’re holding a meeting about it in a few minutes, so be ready.”

“Whatever you say.” Beth rolled her eyes again as she stomped away. Someone as moody as her was fourteen? I never would have guessed.

Laura marched into Kaela’s room. I was hesitant to just barge in like that, but Laura had already done it. I was just following her.

The room was yellow, which made it hard to look at. I felt like I’d just stepped inside a star.

Kaela lay down on her metal bed. She reached into a bag of snacks and shoveled its red contents into her mouth. She was glaring at the ceiling. I was not sure she even knew we were there.

I glanced at her red hands. “Does this place even have a sink? Where are you going to wash those?” I grunted when Laura elbowed me. “What? Am I wrong?”

“I’d rather not be judged in my own room, thanks,” Kaela said without looking at us. “What do you want?”

“Uh…well, we’ve got a meeting coming up—”

“I’m not gonna make it.” Kaela shoved even more chips into her mouth. “Just let me know what happened.”

I couldn’t believe that this was the same Kaela who had shot the wall of computers. The fact that she’d done that at all was proof that she wasn’t too far gone. She just had to be snapped out of this state.

“I think you should make it,” I said. “Especially since you’re heading down a dangerous path here. You don’t even realize it yet.”

Kaela sighed. “Fine, I’ll bite. What nonsense are you speaking of?”

I exchanged a look with Laura. I was about to say things that could earn me a punch or two. Unfortunately, they needed to be said. Laura shrugged as if offering support despite not knowing what I’d say.

“I’m sorry about what happened to your mom. Thing is…I think you should learn from what happened. This thing you do when you’re upset? The stress eating? It has to stop. If it doesn’t, you’ll end up just like your mom.”

Kaela crushed the chip bag, filling the room with a series of cracks. “What did you just say?”

I can’t take it back at this point.

“Your mom died because she took too much of something to feel better. Isn’t that what you do when you stress eat? How many bags of chips do you go through on a bad day?”

The sole reason for Kaela’s current weight was that she ate whenever she was sad. It wasn’t a major problem, but, over time, she would become someone she would no longer recognize. I didn’t want to tell her how to live her life, but I couldn’t let her destroy herself. She couldn’t go through life faking happiness.

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“How dare you?” Kaela dropped her snack bag and jumped up. My battle-hardened instincts told me where this was going. I stood my ground as she brought her face up to mine. Her furrowed brow conveyed her emotions pretty well. “Who do you think you are, analyzing my life like that? You weren’t there. You don’t know what it was like when I tried to cope! Jokes, fake smiles, reassuring people that I was okay. Nothing was good enough.”

“I get that! Kaela, don’t act like you don’t know who I am. We’re family; how many times do I have to remind you?” I lowered my head. “I remember what it was like when I lost my folks. You don’t have to explain it to me. In fact, shouldn’t every member of the Oppressed know how you feel?”

Kaela’s face fell. She was in an organization full of orphans. How could she think she was alone?

Laura grasped Kaela’s hand, and she didn’t pull away this time. “I didn’t lose my parents, because I never really had them in the first place. But I know that sense of abandonment and hopelessness too. Trust me when I say that there are better ways to handle it. You’re pretty strong, K. Act like it. For me.”

One look at the scars on Laura’s arms would have confirmed that she knew what she was talking about. Sometimes it felt like tragedy was a prerequisite for joining my team…

Kaela’s lips quivered as her shoulders slumped. The ferocity fled from her eyes. She practically leapt into Laura’s arm. Laura giggled as she pulled her in close. Kaela shuddered with silent sobs. As she buried her face in Laura’s chest, she held an arm out toward me. I certainly hadn’t asked for this invitation. I backed up, but Laura gripped my arm and pulled me toward them.

I sighed as I joined the unexpected group hug. Our talk had ended much better than I’d expected it to—wait, was Kaela hugging us with her gross snack hands?

“Ugh! I arrived too early.” The hug fell apart as we all looked toward the doorway. Dylan stood there, staring at us in disgust. He’d meant it when he’d said he would check on her? “I’ll return later. Let me know when the hugging is done.”

“Aww, you came to cheer me up, didn’t you?” Kaela smiled as she held her arms out. “There’s the sweet brother I’ve always wanted! Come here.”

“No. Stay back. What is that on your hands?!”

I couldn’t wait until we’d beaten Frost and could celebrate just like this. It was what all my friends deserved for coming this far. Speaking of…

“Think you can make the meeting now?” I asked Kaela just before she reached Dylan.

She glanced at the discarded snack bag and sighed. “Duh. Do you know how depressing it’d be if I said no? Let’s get going. Something tells me that you discovered something on the last mission. Something that’s gonna lead to the next one.”

How did she already know what I was going to say? She’d been hanging with Laura for too long.

“Quit reading my mind; it’s all I’ve got. Come on, Dylan. It’s about time I gave you those Hybrid lessons. I hope you’re fine with a trial by white-hot fire.”

Dylan gasped, producing the lightest sound I’d ever heard from him. “Of course! I’ll do whatever it takes to utilize my abilities.”

That dedication was one of the reasons why I considered him a good choice for the upcoming mission. The four of us headed to the elevator and took it down to the third floor.

The third floor was exactly how we’d left it: green. My friends and I stomped past countless circular rooms. Glowing signs above their doors indicated what each room was dedicated to. I saw one dedicated to discussing redecorations, one for memory inspection, and even one for discussing redesigns? I imagined that one was full of Gigas talking about how cool they could look.

I spotted the room dedicated to meetings between my team and Exo’s: the Alliance Room. It obviously hadn’t had that name when the ship had first been created. I headed for it, but then froze. The giant penny known as General Peta approached the room before us.

He must have sensed us because he whipped around and smirked. I hadn’t said much to this guy, and I didn’t plan on chatting about the weather anytime soon. I kept my head down as we continued walking. Hopefully he just wouldn’t care enough to talk to me.

“How was the last mission, Alpha?” Peta asked as he placed all four hands on his hips. I’d underestimated how badly he wanted to taunt me. “However it went, I’m sure it would have gone better if you’d taken an AI or two.”

So that was what this was about. Like Exo, he thought it was dumb that I was against letting AI join our missions. How did these intelligent robots not see how idiotic the whole idea was? I couldn’t bring colorful giants along on covert missions.

“What a subtle way to express your thoughts. How long did you work on that transition?” I motioned for Kaela and Dylan to head inside. After they did, Laura and I faced Peta alone. I crossed my arms as I met his glowing gaze. “Let’s get something straight: I don’t need an AI’s stinking help. You murder machines are too big to sneak around Red City. Maybe you can fight with us tomorrow, so quit whining today.”

Peta faked a sob. “How inconsiderate! Are you going to let him talk to me like this, Lass?”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Sorry, but Wander comes before you. Plus I agree with what he’s saying. No one wants to see your hideous mug stomping around. It’s like ten cruisers crashed into each other, and you applied the aftermath to your face like it’s mascara.”

How Laura had ever befriended an AI who took pleasure in fighting humans was beyond me. His interest in her weirded me out too. I got that he respected her snappy attitude, but it felt like there was more to it.

“I see how it is. Can’t say you’re in the wrong here. It makes sense that you’d be more loyal to Alpha than me. We all have people we would do anything for.” Peta looked a thousand miles away as he said that. He must have been talking about Exo. Who else would there be unless he meant that scientist I’d seen in Exo’s dreams? What was his name again? “Now what are you wasting my time with this conversation for? Get inside.”

We followed Peta into the green room with a long table. This time, the table wasn’t preloaded with holograms. And that was because that was my meeting. Standing at the table were all my fellow teenagers as well as Surge, Exo, Peta, Ben…Manning, and Rebecca.

“Whoa, what are you doing here?” I asked them as I approached the table.

The corners of Manning’s mouth curled up slightly. “How would you say it? ‘I appreciate the vote of confidence.’ I wish to know how the previous mission went and where the next one is going, just like everyone else.”

“What he said, but out of my mouth.” Rebecca leaned on Manning’s shoulder. I imagined that felt like supporting a cinder block. Who had even told them that we were having a meeting? Then again, Ben was there too. I guessed that Anderson had told all of them.

“That’s good to know because the next mission is probably going to involve Manning. As long as you agree to come, of course.”

Manning’s face fell so quickly that he probably regretted speaking at all. Rebecca’s fell just as quickly probably because she realized that I wasn’t inviting her. Given her condition, she was lucky to be on the ship.

I explained everything that had transpired on the previous mission and watched my friends’ faces morph in horror as I spoke about detention camps, FD soldiers, and drugs.

“I’m pleased to hear about the ruabrum’s cooperation,” Exo said. “I regret not having a proper form of communication, however. Nevertheless, I trust that they will be helpful tomorrow. What is next?”

I placed a hand on the table and willed a hologram of the Red City Hospital for AI Victims to pop up. A few gasps rang out as several people recognized the structure. Manning’s face twisted in grief, while Exo and Peta just stared at it in confusion.

“While I was cloaked, I overhead the FD soldiers talking about a hospital,” I said. “They mentioned moving a ‘weirdo’ at the hospital tonight. There’s a Hybrid there named Upton Manning. Frost mentioned wanting to use him. If she brainwashes him tonight, she can use him tomorrow. I say we should rescue him before they get the chance.”

Manning looked at the floor, no doubt soaking in my words. I was sure this was why he had joined the mission, so that he wouldn’t have much to think about. Rebecca looked far more puzzled than him. I wished that she hadn’t been there. She wouldn’t appreciate not being invited to this mission.

“I do not understand. Why is there a hospital dedicated to our so-called victims?” Exo eyed the tiny sign with the hospital’s name. “Our intention was never to traumatize.”

“It doesn’t matter what you ‘intended.’” Kaela shot a glare at Exo. “It doesn’t even matter if it was really self-defense like you say. When alien ships show up in your sky and start kidnapping your people, someone’s going to get hurt. Physically…and mentally.”

Kaela didn’t sound as depressed as she usually did when talking about that topic. I snuck a grin at that tiny victory.

It was hard for Exo to look sad, but he was pretty convincing at that moment. Even Peta seemed at a loss for words. I didn’t feel sorry for them, but it was obvious that they’d never intended to leave that kind of impact. Man, if I’d learned that I’d traumatized hundreds—even thousands of people…

“Wander, do you have any idea who Frost will task with moving Upton?” Nessa asked.

The look in her eyes told me that she already suspected what I was about to confirm. The dark connection between Nessa and her dad was acting up again.

“Oh, yeah.” I cleared my throat. “Apparently, our good buddy, General Alhabor will be there. He’ll be the one escorting Upton out.”

“Jason?” Ben said, reminding me that he was here. His crestfallen expression perfectly contrasted Anderson’s angry one. “If he’ll be there, then so will I.”

“What?” Shock immediately replaced Anderson’s anger. “Bro, you can’t—”

“Last time, it was you against him…and me. Now it’ll be the end for—I mean, it’ll be you and me against him. Let’s see how he likes being outnumbered.”

That wasn’t convincing, considering that Ben had been out of action for a month. Maybe he’d be able to exploit some of Connolly’s weaknesses. We’d done okay against him the last time, so bringing along his former teammate was bound to increase our success rate. That brought me to the official announcement of the team roster.

“I’d like to avoid fighting Connolly and exposing our cover, but if it comes to that, we’ll need a good team. I’m taking Ben, Anderson, Manning, Dylan, and…” I glanced at Nessa, who returned my look with a neutral expression. “That’s it. It’ll just be the five of us. Sorry, Nessa, but you’re sitting this one out.”

“I know,” Nessa said with no trace of malice.

“You are? Really? This isn’t a test, is it?”

Nessa shook her head. “We both know how my last confrontation with my father ended. If you don’t think I should accompany you on this mission, that’s fine. It’s not like I’m destined to be the one to stop him.”

Her words were such a drastic departure from her former attitude that part of me still thought it was a test. I decided to simply trust her words. That was one less headache for me. Considering the people I’d chosen for the mission, I needed as few complications as possible. As long as Rebecca was similarly understanding, I’d have zero problems.

“I’m honored that you chose me for this mission, but I’m not sure I’d be very useful,” Manning said.

“You have brains and a bit of brawn,” I said. “You’ll be plenty useful. It’s your brother that we’re saving. Besides, I’m bringing Dylan to be our personal shield. That whole building might be swarming with FD soldiers. I don’t want to have to fight my way through them. You’ll be fine, Manning.”

Dylan grunted. “I’d love to tear Frost’s troops apart, but, alas, my power won’t allow it. I swear I’ll still be of use, Alpha.”

I gave him a half-hearted smile and glanced back at Manning. My former instructor seemed more nervous than he should have been. I was guessing it was because his brother’s freedom was on the line. The stakes had never been higher for him. This was all he had ever wanted.

“I’ll come,” Manning said. “I still trust you, Wander. Never forget that.”

His words warmed my heart more than I could have expected. I appreciated Manning’s trust. I wasn’t about to lose it again.

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