“Do a Forward Thrust!”

Greg watches his fellow skeleton warrior intently as the command reaches the center of its semi-conscious mind and awakens understanding. The skeleton shifts the oversized Kapa Spear—

“Forward Thrust!”

—and with surprising ferocity, aims a spear strike at nothing in particular. But most importantly to Greg, unlike his attempts at using a sling, the switch from basic sword to spear does not result in any critical failures. The spear goes straight with deadly force and doesn’t fly out of the skellie’s hand or rebound and smack his head. This is an actual weapon with twice the reach of a sword and, to that effect, a significant improvement.

Greg beams and doesn’t consider taking the spear for himself. Or the new shield made from the shell of a Kapa and his loincloth. For Greg, ensuring both of their survival means escaping this miniature hell, and there is no point in hoarding the best equipment when he takes advantage of the enemy attacking his friend first

It is then that a thought occurs to Greg—

“I have to name you.”

And then brainstorming happens. Greg never thought he’d have to name a skeleton warrior, but if it can speak, it has some kind of…brain? A limited one, sure, Greg thinks, but he loves dogs despite them not being the smartest animals on four legs. And if he can love a fur baby that chews on his shoes, he can definitely love a skeleton capable of saying words and following instructions.

“All right, boney fella, I’m naming you…. Doug.”

The light within the warrior’s eyes shines brighter than any torch before simmering down in a soft blue hue. Doug smiles, eyes sockets almost twinkling as his expression conveys the deepest joy.

“Yes Boss.”

Greg nods his approval, though unsure of the significance of naming a skelly who can be summoned with a few extra bones and mana (this is, in fact, significant). Greg shrugs and starts walking with Doug taking point, spear forward, and seemingly at the ready. At some point, they’re going to encounter the rest of the Kapa, and Greg wonders if he blew his chance at a friendly exchange by killing one of their guards and skinning it for his leathery shell. Well, he’s going to find out soon enough.

*******

Doug looks back at Greg with a look of concern as they exit the cave and enter the world of the Kapa.

“Boss?”

Greg stumbles out after the skelly warrior and immediately sees the cause of Doug's concern.

For a moment, Greg forgets that, despite it all, he is still in a dungeon. The dirt and claustrophobia of the cave behind them are replaced with open air and rolling hills. Everything seems so peaceful and bright, despite being several miles underground and, of course, a dead turtle monster behind them. Still, the beauty of the hills and the crooked trees that dot the landscape almost make Greg and Doug drop their weapons. Almost.

They cautiously walk forward, seeing no signs of the Kapa or any other animal as they move uphill and look around in amazement.

“We can’t still be in a dungeon?” Greg wonders out loud, marveling at the tall grass surrounding them and even seeing a lake flowing gently close by. They seem to be over a meadow that stretches on forever, eventually becoming a marsh. The bright blue sky above them doesn’t even seem bizarre despite the lack of sun.

Greg’s mind wanders to that observation. But he doesn’t let it distract him from movement coming from the water.

Doug slowly readies his spear as the blue of the sky darkens, and trees seem to grow more gnarled. As the water expands and the ground shifts and sinks beneath the skellie’s feet, a voice, deep and full of gravel, shakes their bones-

“Pathetic creatures of Human Magic. I won’t abide you!”

Greg remembers the hollow bowel that was sunken into the Kapa Guardian’s head and instantly realizes where they are.

“Fuck.”

“Yes Boss.”