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It took him a while to calm down. Well, even after breaking the embrace with his savior, it couldn't really be said that he had managed to calm down. Just the best approximation. He mean, he could function even though he felt like shit.

Desmond staggered to the riverbank. He got to his knees.

Cupping his hands, he gathered water and used it to wash his face.

But even if he stripped off his clothes and stepped into the water, he couldn't get the smell of the blood of his fallen enemies off his face. Not so soon.

And, in any case, it was only possible to wash the outside.

The inside... that was another story.

Yes, it felt dirty inside. It felt... he didn't even know how to say it. The closest he could come to adequately describing it was that he felt even worse than when he seriously thought his goddess was going to write him off for killing Laura when he did.

Desmond dropped his hands, sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"I told you before..."

"No, I... "He grimaced at having interrupted her. Seeing that she didn't follow through with what she had been saying, Desmond broke the pause, continuing instead. "I'm sorry I lost control like a little kid. I should have been better. I've been waiting for so, so long.... "

He looked at his reflection in the water. He looked at his face and also at the face of the woman standing next to him and a little backwards.

"So long dreaming that this day would come.... "

"You must have a lot of questions," said his savior slowly and after a while, looking at the ground with an expression tinged with sadness.

I can do that too. The echo of a memory.

Desmond pursed his lips.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. But it's true. I'd like to know why... why we've been ten years apart. Oh, that... Did that sound harsh? I didn't mean it to sound... like I was accusing you, or something. I... "

"It didn't sound like an accusation. Here's the truth, Desmond. I stayed away from you until tonight because I'm stupid. "

Desmond lifted his head and looked at her with wide eyes.

"I thought I could protect you if I stayed away. That it would be the best thing, for you and for me. But they always find a way. Not the same enemy. I've lived too long to have the same enemies. But it's as if they were. The same goals, the same thirst for grandeur.... I chose to believe that you could live a relatively normal and happy life if I did things differently."

"So you were never going to come back?"

His heart constricted at the very thought. This had not been the best night of his life. There was too much fear and pain. And shame.

But, in a way, it had been. It was.

That he could be here, beside her. Listening to her voice. Her answers, and responding to them. All of it, every moment, was a beautiful miracle.

I supposed I had something to thank Laura for, after all.

Without the existence of a person like that. Without everything she had been willing to do, his goddess wouldn't have met him again.

The only memory Desmond would have had of her would have been of the day she saved him.

He would only have been able to cling until the day he died to the memory of her smile when she told him he had to live.

Like a fool, he would have spent his whole life daydreaming and died alone.

Desmond put a hand to his stomach.

He felt like throwing up. He felt like puking until there would be nothing left inside him. Not even his soul. And then he would feel clean, inside and out. Really clean.

"I don't want to lie to you. I don't want to lie to you. So no, I wasn't planning to see you again. Unless you got into trouble, despite my foolish illusions, like today. "

"I see."

"It was a mistake. One of my biggest mistakes."

He felt there was a hidden but there. Still, he asked the question, bracing himself for disappointment, but knowing that he wasn't really prepared at all. That it was going to hit him just as hard as if he hadn't realized how she was going to respond.

"Can I stay with you? Can I stay by your side, forever?"

There was silence.

His savior sat down beside him. She stretched out one of those legs, the other, folded up to her chest, wrapped both arms around it. She rested her chin on that knee and gazed at the horizon.

The moonlight bathed them, turning the lakeshore into their personal stage.

"If that's what you want, I'll take you with me," she answered at last.

"But?"

"There is no but, Desmond. The choice is in your hands. And I will respect the one you make, whatever it is."

"I've already told you what I want. That you... you're all I want. So there has to be a but."

"No, just... doubts. I don't know you as well as I'd like to. I don't know who you are. But tonight, though... you called me to save the lives of two people. Those girls you call friends. You want to leave with me and leave everything you've built behind?"

"What are you talking about? We've known each other for a little over a week. There's nothing there. Nothing."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Then why do I hear sadness in your voice? If there isn't really something, then you want it to be something, which is practically the same thing."

He couldn't answer.

His goddess was right, of course. He wanted that something he had been building together with Amy and Christina. He wanted to feel normal. And he also wanted to live like he was dreaming awake next to his savior.

He was a selfish man who wanted it all, who wouldn't accept compromise.

That was who he was.

A child who dreamed of having everything and would surely end up empty"handed.

I feel sick, he thought.

"You're right. I don't want to leave them. Recently... I'm very sorry, but I almost ran away with them and... left you to your fate. It was a last-minute decision that led me here. Still, those are just... illusions. You are real. My love is real."

His jaw trembled. Desmond clenched it to hide the tremors, without much success.

At this rate they would spread throughout his body and soon he would be as before. One good blow away from shattering into a thousand pieces, like a thin pane of glass.

Since when was he so fragile?

"What's your name?" Desmond asked.

It might seem like an awkward and overly transparent way of trying to change the subject. But it wasn't.

"Abigail."

He reacted to the name as if he'd received an electric shock.

Only without any of the pain, though.

It was a shock, but a sweet shock. Abigail wasn't a unique name, it wasn't even rare. He supposed he had hoped, deep down, for something like that, to match everything else about her, which was extraordinary, out of this world.

Still, it had a special air about it, though he couldn't explain why. or could he?

Yes.

"It's a wonderful name. It suits you."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Well, it's a... elegant name. It feels... like... " His cheeks turned red. "It's like... The name you should have, or something. "

As usual, he was unable to explain himself properly.

Still, Abigail smiled at him as if he had said something coherent, even charming. Or something like that.

"Thank you. I picked it out myself."

"What do you mean?"

"Well… not exactly. It was half joking, but my sense of humor isn't very good, I don't get much opportunity to practice it, you understand. I've lived a long time, Desmond. I don't remember my last name and I've lived many lives. So many that I'm not even sure Abigail is my original name anymore.... But I digress. That's not what matters now. What matters is that you've made a decision, right?"

Desmond nodded.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"Speak and I will obey."

"I need you to go back to the academy for me."

"Okay," he murmured, tense, telling himself that this meant nothing. That she wasn't getting rid of him, or pulling away, albeit in a gentle way. But he didn't quite believe it.

It was part of his nature to be suspicious. Of everything good and also of everything bad, in case it got worse, since everything could always get worse.

He could never be calm, especially in a situation like this.

"What do you need from me?" Getting that little phrase out of his throat cost him more than his savior would believe.

"Being with me means being hunted. I have very powerful enemies, just because I live as I do, who never rest. Wait," she held up a hand, "wait, don't say anything. I know you don't care. You've made that clear to me. And I'm not trying to change your mind. It's just that... I'm tired, Desmond. Tired of running. I want to end this war."

"And that's why you want me there. To make me stronger."

"No, I don't want you there. If it were up to me, you'd always be by my side, living as normal a life as someone like me can give you. But I need you there because circumstances demand it."

"You don't need to... to lie to me. She said you want to die. And you haven't denied it once."

"It's true. I want to finally be free of this pain. However, Desmond... Before that, I'd like to live one last life with you. Caring for you."

"There's nothing I'd like more."

"And that's why it's best for both of us if you return to the academy. Not only for what they can teach you, but for more protection than I can give you alone and for the things you can find out there. Our enemies were only so bold because you were far away from me... and far away from civilization. And because you didn't even try to hide, of course, not knowing that you would need to. They found you, they searched for you and thanks to that I got important information."

"But I killed Laura before she opened her mouth."

"That's what her name was?"

Desmond frowned, as if he had done something wrong. And yes, he had. He had called her Laura.

That woman hadn't been human. She wasn't worth treating with the certain respect to which every human being was entitled, therefore.

He should have forgotten her name as soon as she'd crushed his head.

Ripping her from this world and sending her to the next, to be judged by the gods.

"You didn't happen to find out her last name somehow, did you?"

Desmond felt intense shame. Again.

"No."

"Relax. I hadn't been under any illusions, I asked for the sake of asking, because I had to, to be sure. How did you know her name was Laura?

"Because she told me herself. I don't know, maybe it's not even her real name, but....

But what? He had screwed up and there was no going back, no chance of fixing it. It was time to face it. Laura was as common a name as the sunrise. They weren't going to get anywhere with just that one piece of information as a "clue".

Any secrets that woman might have kept had disappeared with her.

And that, of course, was assuming that Laura was her real name, not just the one she liked best or the last one she had used before impersonating the teacher. And that the appearance they had seen was the real one, not another mask.

Bottom line, they had gotten nothing out of this.

Nothing except this miraculous encounter. That is, everything. He shouldn't think so negatively. Wallow in his own misery like a pig.

He had to get on his feet and move on.

His savior had given him a second chance. Yes, and he had to take advantage of it.

"I don't think she lied to you. She would have no reason to lie about her name, if she had given you the full name, that would have been cause for suspicion. Well, it doesn't matter anyway."

Silence fell between them. For a long while, all that could be heard was the faint song of the birds that had returned to fill the night and the flow of the water.

"I'm not forcing you," said his savior. Even though he now knew her name, and that it was very pretty, he found it hard to refer to her in any other way. Because it seemed disrespectful to her. " I don't want you to misunderstand me. If you agree to go to the academy, fine. But if not, that' s fine too. I'll take you with me, I won't hold it against you or anything. You are free."

"All right," Desmond replied, slowly, and after a while.

"Will you do it?"

"Yes." He looked into her eyes. Her real eyes, not the ones in her reflection on the surface of the water. " But I don't want you to misunderstand me. I will do it for you. Not for them."

His savior nodded.