The Brotherhood

Chapter XVI

By X

It was beautiful. He was beautiful.

Tiny, marble-sized spheres of light undulated around his body. They pulsated, not quite flashing, yet not entirely steady in their luminescence. At times they moved in unison, a collective stream of glowing orbs swirling clockwise around Q’s new form. This organization would last mere seconds before the shimmering lights scatter, each following its playful path. They moved in all directions, swarming around Q like fireflies, dancing in the energy he exuded. This formation lasted longer, but eventually, the cycle started over again.

Steady stream to dancing fireflies. Over and over again, the pattern repeated. It was hypnotic.

His liquid silver eyes - the ones that made my heart pound and knees go weak - were gone. In their place, swirling pools of light blazed brightly. Yet there was no need to squint or shield my eyes. I found it hard to blink.

I wasn’t afraid.

Dumb, maybe, but not afraid.

It was probably the most appropriate response to allow terror to overwhelm me, but it wasn’t possible. His magnificence drew me in like a moth to a flame. I didn’t think it could get more intense. I was wrong.

The explosion of light came first; for a moment, night was turned to day. Again, I felt no need to flinch or turn away. I wasn’t even startled. Not physically, anyway. To an outside observer, I was the essence of calm. As if every step of Q’s metamorphosis was a well-rehearsed dance I’d choreographed myself.

In truth, I was frozen, not in fear but awe.

The glow around Q condensed, giving birth to two different beams of light that protruded from Q’s back. As if solid, they began to move and fold. Slowly, the particles of light composing each beam turned claylike, molding and bending onto themselves until a clear form appeared. My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Behind Q, the shards of light gave way to a pair of long and powerful ivory wings. They flapped slow and steady yet did not ripple in the air around them. The intense burst of light was gone, yet Q remained luminous. Words cannot adequately describe the…uh, phenomenon…before me. I know I’m not doing him justice. If I sat here for days, filling these pages with every detail, every thought, and feeling coursing through me, I would still fail miserably. This miracle could not be explained, only experienced.

I moved toward him without thinking, “My god. You’re an angel.”

Q smiled. “No, I’m afraid not, Jacob.” While his current form was larger than life, his words rang out as a soft, timeless melody capable of soothing the most restless souls. I didn’t care what Q said. He was angelic.

“I am Qua’quelle, and my people are the El’odian Nave.” His declaration resonated with a sense of power and pride. “I stand before you in my true form.” Pulling his wings back towards the night air, Q descended slowly and offered me his hand. “Question this new reality if you must, be angry if it helps, look away if necessary, but please, Jacob, never fear me.”

I was still in shock. Who wouldn’t be? This wasn’t something I could fix with the snap of my finger, especially when I had yet to identify what or who was broken. All I could do was stare.

Q hovered.

Q glowed.

Q had wings.

I was dumbfounded.

So, was this the broken list? How do I begin to make sense of this new revelation?

I’m not going to lie; there did come a moment part of me wanted to run. It was the exact part now telling me to hide under the most enormous rock I could find and pretend everything was normal. But another part of me said that from here on out, life would never be normal again. And it didn’t matter how big the rock was…

Q took a few steps toward me. Instead of backing away, I stretched my hand to touch his illuminating chest. And I don’t mean that figuratively. He wasn’t bathed in a soft light; he was emitting it from the very skin I meant to touch. I panicked, balled up my fist, and pulled away at the last minute. Q grabbed my wrist and held it in place just inches from his chest. Our eyes met. Or, more accurately, my eyes met his pools of light. I tugged my arm back defiantly against his grip. I don’t know why. It wasn’t out of cruelty or anger. I think I was trying to be brave. Or stubborn.

Either way, it didn’t matter. Q refused to let go and gently guided my hand to his chest.

My first thought was that he was solid and real. My second was that I felt no heartbeat. There was just warmth radiating from him like heat from a cozy fire. I took his gesture as permission to explore. Without taking my hand from his body, I walked around him, caressing his form as I moved. Eventually, my hand rested on his ivory wings. Individually, each feather felt as supple and fragile as a rose petal. Yet together, laid one over the next, they formed a weave as strong as an iron curtain.

I stood before him once more, tongue-tied. What could I possibly say to match the magnitude of his revelation? “Um…I’m sorry about your car.” Yes, very Shakespearean of me, I know.

He kind of smirked; I might have blushed.

Then he pulled his wings close to his back and walked to the cliff’s edge. He stretched his hand over the side, and it glowed as if set on fire. For the first time, I was forced to squint. Before I knew it, the SUV was floating over our heads, engulfed in a tracker beam of white light. With a slight wave of his hand, the car landed twenty feet away.

I remember whispering ‘holy shit’ as I watched Q approach the vehicle. I don’t know whether it was about Q’s impressive feat or that the SUV was fucked and smashed. It was probably a combination of both. Q’s eyes flashed, and the light surrounding the vehicle did the same. I watched in awe as the SUV repaired itself. The frame twisted back into place. The tires filled with air, and the light washed over the windows leaving behind tinted glass. The SUV looked like it had just come off the lot in less than thirty seconds. And then suddenly, there was a brilliant flash, and it was gone.

“What happened to it?” I asked, stunned.

“I sent it back to the house,” he said simply, as if that just happens in everyday life.

I don’t know what I felt, but the look on my face must have read ‘horror.’

“Jacob, don’t be frightened.”

“Frightened?” I scoffed. “Are you kidding me? In the last ten minutes, I’ve gone from scared to amazed to confused to I don’t know what anymore.” I paused, took a deep breath, and stared at him. “What are you?”

“Talk about your loaded questions,” he answered in an uncertain tone I’d never heard from Q before. “You have questions….”“You think?” I interrupted.

He immediately flashed that ‘I’m still your Big look’ but then backed down. That pissed me off. Why should I be all ‘yes sir, no sir” when he’s the one with explaining to do.

“I’m willing to give the answers you need, but you must afford me a little more time.”

“Time? Time for what? Perhaps you didn’t notice, but the cat is out of the bag on this one.”

“I get that, Jacob. But you must understand; this is not how you were meant to find out about us. You’re still pledging The Brotherhood, and there’s a process. I jumped over a few steps.”

“Pledging? Are you kidding me? I’m so past that right now; it’s not even funny.”

“Be that as it may, you’re still part of the pledge class, and this is not a simple college fraternity. You’re expected to make one final decision before the night is over. You’ve come this far, Jacob…all I’m asking is for you to go a little further and then make up your mind. If this proves to be too much, you can walk away with no strings.”

I didn’t know what to say. I stared at him; his eyes were still nothing more than two pools of light but mesmerizing, nonetheless.

“Something tells me you’re more than just a little curious otherwise, you would’ve taken off like a bat out of hell when I revealed myself to you.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Jacob…” Q took a step towards me, and I recoiled. The pain in his face was instant. The light from Q faded, his eyes morphed to silver, and his wings appeared to dissolve into a mist of light until only the darkness of the night remained. “I guess I wasn’t prepared for my true self might be too frightening for you to handle.” The sadness in his voice made me physically hurt.

To see that kind of expression on the face of an “angel” truly shattered my heart. That my thoughtless action could cause him such grief tore at the very fiber of my being. “Oh God no, Q, that’s not it,” I assured him. Without a second thought, I walked up and kissed him. I don’t know why I did it, but it felt right. I guess I needed to connect to him, to remind myself that he was still my Q. The way he returned my kiss and held me in his arms removed all doubt.

As if snapping back to reality, Q jerked his head and gave me a confused sideways glance. “This means what exactly?”

“That I’m scared out of my mind. That part of me screams ‘RUN!’ Everything I’ve known as truth has changed forever.”

Q tensed in my arms.

“But more importantly, I trust you and am willing to wait for the answers I need you to give. Beyond that, I can’t make any promises. My head is swimming. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the least curious about who…uh, what…you are.”

Q smiled and caressed my face with the back of his hand. “I promise you won’t be disappointed.”

There was a long moment where we just gazed into each other’s eyes, and even though they appeared normal again, I could’ve sworn I saw a faint shimmer cross his eyes every so often. I was so taken in by him I hardly noticed the words “what are you” escape my lips in a whisper.

“Let me show you,” Q said softly, his smile even more radiant than before. As we held each other, Q melted away from me and was transformed into pure light. He had no form at all; he became a mist of swirling light. “In our truest form, we exist as beings of pure energy and thought.” Q’s voice permeated the whirling light as clearly as if he were in his “human” form.

I reached out and slowly waved my hand into the light. Q’s energy passed through my fingers like water from a stream; before I could react, the energy cloud engulfed me. I felt Q all around me, his essences bathing my skin like sunlight. I started giggling and threw my hands in the air as I turned like a little kid playing in the sprinklers.

“This is amazing,” I yelled, laughing, the warmth of Q caressing my lips. “This is fucking amazing!” I closed my eyes and surrendered myself to him completely. What I felt in that moment can’t be explained with mere words, for how does one describe being wrapped in pure bliss?

How does one describe heaven?

It took me a moment to realize it, but at some point, I was being held from behind by a pair of strong arms, his lips pressed against my ear. “We’re home,” he said. Q had retaken human form. I batted my eyes open and spun around to meet his gaze, and sure enough, there was the TBH house right behind him. “How the…”

We had returned to the house without the slightest sense of movement or time.

“All in good time, Jacob. I promise,” he said simply. “But for now, come inside. Arrangements must be made before I can spill my guts and submit to your inquisition.” He placed his finger under my chin to tilt my head up slightly. “You trust me, right?”

I nodded. “Just tell me one thing. Are all the brothers like you?”

“No. If it helps, we are the minority. There are more Brothers like you than there are like me. And I’m talking throughout The Brotherhood, not just our house.”

For some reason, that did help. I guess I didn’t feel alone in this. I mean, if other…uh, humans? Non-angels…stuck around after finding out the truth, then it was worth finding out why.

I followed Q inside the house and stood in the living room. He told me to wait for him there. He needed to talk to the rest of the Circle about what happened. That made me nervous, but he assured me everything would be okay. I felt a little better, but I didn’t want him to leave.

Sitting on the couch, I noticed the old guy from earlier in the night. He was sleeping in the chair by the window and snoring too loud for my taste. What the hell was a hundred-year-old guy doing in the house anyway?

One of the Brothers walked in, greeted me by name, and perused through the books on the coffee table. He narrowed his choice down to two, and all the while, I was looking at this poor guy like he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I scrutinized everything about him for clues as to which side of the fence he falls on.

“One of them,” I whispered as he walked away with an old leatherbound book in his hand.

I had no clue. But that didn’t stop me from profiling the following three brothers who walked by. Ultimately, I realized I was only going to drive myself crazing playing the “is he one of them or one of me” game. I needed something to occupy my mind, so I picked up the Connecticut Post someone left on the coffee table. Just when I thought my night couldn’t get weirder, there was an article about U.S Senator James K. Polk on the newspaper’s third page. He passed away two nights ago from natural causes after serving as a senator for thirty-three years. He was cremated this morning.

That was all well and good and not the least interesting, except that this deceased U.S Senator was snoring up a storm not ten feet from me!

I threw the paper down and said, “fuck it.” This was the least of the mysteries I was interested in solving today. And what would be the point? When it was all said and done, I’d end up right where I started but with more questions and no answers.

No thanks.

My mind drifted away from my surroundings and centered on the moment I saw Q in his proper form. It all seemed like a dream, yet its reality was terrifying. What was I getting myself into? As fantastic as his revelation was, I couldn’t help but feel like I was standing in a minefield; one wrong step, and it would all blow up in my face.

“Dude!”

The shriek of CJ’s voice in my ear nearly yanked me out of my skin. I was on my feet before I knew what was going on. “What’s your problem?” I demanded. “Are you deficient?”

“Dude, I was standing over there calling you but didn’t budge. I figured I had to get up close and personal to pull you out of la-la land. You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I snapped. “What do you want?”

“Me?” CJ held his chest as if I were accusing him of something. “I don’t want anything, but the Brothers are having us gather in the Pit…so come on.” He slapped my arm and took off.

I hesitated for a second before following behind CJ. Some of the guys were already down in the Pit waiting for us. Anthony, Arsen, Paul, and Troy greeted us as we descended the stairs. Steven and Jason showed up a few minutes after I did, and no one noticed Mike was already in the room until he emerged from the surrounding shadows. He ignored me, of course, and I was more than happy to return the favor.

“Hey bud,” Arsen said, throwing his arm over my shoulders. “How was your night out with the Q man?”

“Interesting,” I answered with a smirk.

“Really?” He looked genuinely interested, his raised brow a question in itself. “What did you guys end up doing?”

“Oh…something tells me you’ll find out very soon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he waited for a moment, not because he was giving me time to respond. The light bulb going off in his head caused him to pause. “Wait a minute. You know something big, don’t you?”

“Ha!” I laughed despite myself. “That’s like the biggest understatement of the century. If you knew half of what I do, you’d go nuts. Forget figuring out the other half because your brain would collapse.”

“Jacob, what are you talking about?”

“You’ll see.”

“Have you been drinking?”

“God no,” I laughed again, “but I can guarantee you’re all going to wish you had been before the nights over.”

Ant came over and draped his arms over both our shoulders. “What are you guys whispering about?” Ant asked.

Before anyone could answer, CJ jumped on us and did the same. “Why are we in a huddle?”

Arsen said, nodding in my direction, “Jacob knows what we’re doing down here.”

“Dude! Spill!”

“I don’t know anything about anything,” I lied and slithered out from under the weight of their arms. “I’m sure we’ll find out why they brought us down here soon enough, so just back off me.”

“Damn, dude, I didn’t mean to get your panties all in a bunch. I just thought we were bros and shared things.”

“Of course, we’re bros. It has nothing to do with that. I just don’t know what it is you guys want me to tell you. I’m just as much in the dark as the rest of you.”

“Well then, why didn’t you just say so?” CJ slapped my ass and winked before wandering over to Troy and Jason.

Arsen looked at me with narrow eyes and a dismissive smirk. “You’re lying. You said my head would explode if I knew what you did.”

“Maybe I am, and maybe I’m not. The point is, if I did know something, you know damn well I can’t say anything. And everyone knows it, so why bother asking?”

Arsen knew I was right. “Shut up, smartass.”

“Thank you!” I took a slight bow and looked around the room. “Hey, where are the rest of the guys?”

“They won’t be joining us this evening,” a voice spoke out from the dark corners of the Pit. It was smooth and melodic, so it was no surprise when Q stepped into the light. Shawn and Seth followed him. Eric and Steel appeared from the opposite side of the room. I now understood how they could move in and out of places unnoticed. Or at least I had a better idea.

They gathered, side-by-side, in front of us. Without a word, we formed a line from tallest to shortest in some sort of Pavlovian response. Even in our silence, I knew we all had the same question burning on the tips of our tongues.

True to form, Q addressed our unspoken concerns. “I know you’re wondering what happens to the rest of your pledge brothers.” Taking a step towards us, Q placed his hands behind his back. “The fact is, the seven of you are all that remain.”

“As you know, each of you faced an individual trial,” Seth continued. “It was the final test to determine if you were Brotherhood material. Unfortunately, Kevin, Nick, Sam, Xavier, and Justin did not pass their trial.”

My stomach churned at the sound of Nick’s name. Our little circle was now a man short. The ‘no man left behind’ mantra popped in my head. Somehow it felt like we’d failed him. That being said, it was a fleeting feeling at best. Humans have a penchant for being short in memory. Even under the best circumstances, our group would only mourn his loss for a few days. Eventually, in the wake of passing the time and shared bonding experiences, Nick would become nothing more than a guy we used to know way back in the day’.

But this wasn’t the best of circumstances, and I needed to get to the punch line faster than usual. As much as I liked the guy, I couldn’t concern myself with anyone other than the men standing with me in the Pit. There was too much at stake.

“They were all dismissed without penalty and with the house’s blessing. The fact that they made it as far as they did is a feat in and of itself.” Seth paused for a moment, and then a warm smile appeared. “They have earned our respect. We’ll look in on them from time to time and, when necessary, help them along. It is a long-standing tradition of The Brotherhood – watching over pledges who made it as far as they did.”

With his arm outstretched, Shawn took his turn at the imaginary podium.

“That brings us to the seven of you.” I didn’t catch it when Q initially said it, but it clicked when Shawn repeated the count. There were nine of us, not seven. “You’re standing at the precipice, the fork in the road, and it’s up to you to decide to join this family or walk away from it.”

“The choice may not be as simple as you think,” Eric said. “We’ll give you a glimpse of the fantastic journey ahead in a minute.”

“Will you have the courage to see it thru?” Steel asked. “It’s going to be scary. It might seem unbelievable, but you’ve trusted us this far, so we’re hoping you’ll take one more leap of faith. You remain because you’re the best of the best. You’ve earned the right to know us for what we truly are…” he paused for effect, “and for what you may one day become.”

I looked sideways at my fellow pledges, and the look on their faces was priceless. They didn’t have a clue as to what was coming. After making it this far, they wondered what possible twist the Brothers had up their sleeves. What could make us change our minds?

“Every one of you has been put in a situation where you witnessed or heard something you couldn’t explain,” Q said, his eyes shifting in my direction for a moment. “When you thought you were being sneaky, we were planting the seed of the impossible. We worked to open your mind to a new reality.

“Like when you saw me get shot, Jacob or you overheard my conversation with Soullen. I knew you were there.”

“Or when you thought I was hit by that truck, Anthony,” Eric added. “On each occasion, you awoke as if from a dream. Even though we convinced you it wasn’t real on some occasions, your minds were open to the possibility, if only for a moment. It was all to prepare you for tonight.”

I already knew what would happen and was still on the edge of my seat. I could only imagine how the other guys felt.

As Q stepped up to the center, the other brothers backed away in a semicircle to give each additional room. “We would be honored to welcome you into The Brotherhood.” In a blink of an eye, the room went pitch black. “Don’t be afraid.”

In seconds that seemed like an eternity, Q was bathed in a burning white light, his arms out to the side as he ascended into the air for the second time that night. It was exactly as it was on the cliff and just as astounding. I could witness this fantastic transformation a million times, and I don’t think it would cease to amaze me.

It took a lot for me to tear my gaze from Q, but I wanted to see my fellow pledges’ reactions. Arsen stood by my side like a statue. The sight before him was too much to process, and his body went into a shut-down mood. Anthony had both hands over his mouth, shaking his head in disbelief. Paul dropped to his knees and stared at Q as if praying to a god. CJ was giddy. He was the only one who seemed to appreciate the excitement of the situation. The rest of the pledges were out of my line of sight. I wasn’t about to step out of line just to see them. Curiosity and the cat and all…

When the ethereal light show ended, Q remained in the air for a moment before slowly descending to the ground. He stood proudly alongside the Inner Circle; each of the brothers transformed and bathed in a soft luminescent aura. Like Q, their eyes were replaced with pools of light. At first glance, their wings appeared identical, shimmering ivory, magnificent and powerful. But like a fingerprint, if you looked closely, subtle differences made each set of wings unique.

You had but to lay eyes on them to know there was heaven, for, despite Q’s claims to the contrary, they indeed appeared like a choir of angels.

Out of the blue, Jason started yelling about an invasion and aliens and ran like a crazy man. He made it halfway up the stairs before Seth waved his hand. Instantly, Jason was encased in an orb of light.

“Unfortunately, not everyone is prepared for the truth of what we are,” Seth said.

The field around Jason got brighter and brighter until finally, there was a flash, and he was gone. A few of us took a step back at the abrupt display of their power. Did they just kill him?

“Duuuude….”

“We did not harm Jason,” Eric assured us. “He’s asleep in his dorm room. Tomorrow he’ll wake up believing he was dismissed for not passing his trial. He’ll have no memory of what happened here tonight. We wish him well on his life’s journey without us. He was not prepared for what we had to offer. The question is, are you?”

“You’re angels,” Anthony proclaimed confidently despite the slight tremble in his voice.

Q looked at me and smiled.

“We’re not angels,” Shawn said, placing one hand on his chest and gesturing to the rest of the circle. “And we’re not aliens either.”

“Then…” Paul couldn’t finish his thought.

Wrapping his wings against his back like a cloak, Seth went up to Paul and helped him to his feet. He placed his hand on the side of Paul’s face and smiled before rejoining the circle.

“We are a race of immortal beings known as the El’odian Nave,” Q said. “We were created on this planet over seventy million years ago.”

I honestly think my jaw hit the floor. I know my heart stopped. What do you say to that? How do you even formulate a thought around that new reality?”

“Wicked cool,” CJ whispered.

Not exactly what I had in mind but leave it to CJ to have a cavalier attitude about everything.

None of the Brothers said anything for a while. They were giving us time to process that number…seventy million years. They could’ve given me the next ten years, and I doubt I’d be able to wrap my head around it fully.

“How’s that even possible?” Troy asked. “I mean seventy million years ago. Come on! Weren’t there dinosaurs back then and shit?”

“Yes, there were,” Shawn said matter-of-factly. “The Nave has existed along the same timeline as many incredible life forms. Dinosaurs are just one of them.”

“But how’s that possible?” Troy demanded.

“It’s a long story, Troy; seventy million years of history. One your Big will be glad to share with you once you’ve made your choice.”

“And what choice is that?” Arsen inquired.

“Whether or not you’re prepared to join us. Your futures are still very much in your hands. You can choose to walk away, and, like Jason, you’ll wake up tomorrow believing you were dismissed. All memories of what you witnessed tonight will be suppressed. Or you can join The Brotherhood and learn of us, our ways, our history…our very existence.”

“I’m in!” CJ declared without the slightest hint of hesitation. “What do I have to do? Where do I sign up? I mean, are there forms I need to fill out? A comprehensive health plan with dental and vision? What?”

All the Brothers laughed at his enthusiasm. Shawn walked up to CJ and clasped his face with his luminous aura and wings fading away. “I love your energy, CJ,” he said and looked over his shoulder at the others. “We all do. But this is not a decision that should be made lightly. This will change your life in ways you cannot begin to imagine. As much as we want you to join us, you need to take the time to weigh your decision. Because once you commit, there is no turning back. You will be part of The Brotherhood for life. You will live within our traditions, laws, and ways. You will be subject to our demands, priorities, and restrictions, not as a pledge, but as an equal member of The Brotherhood. And you will be privileged with the most amazing freedoms, honors, and experiences – an existence filled with more than you could ever dream.”

“If we did decide to join, does that mean we would become what you are?” Arsen asked.

“All Brothers are equal in the eyes of The Brotherhood. However, not all Brothers are Nave. We all have our roles to play. Some of those roles require a Brother to remain human. But even our ‘human’ Brothers, upon fulfilling their human task, will ultimately be offered the Gift and the opportunity to become El’odian Nave.”

“And if we choose to remain as we are? To remain forever in human form?”

“Then you remain human with the full support of The Brotherhood,” Q assured. He returned to his human form and the rest of the Inner Circle. “But I’ll be honest with you. If you were to talk to any of our human brothers, no one among them would refuse the Gift.”

“He’s right, you know.” At first, I didn’t realize it was Mike talking until he stepped out of the line. Mike looked at the rest of us with a smile. “A little over a hundred years ago, I was in your shoes.”

“And I, almost a thousand years before Michael.” Steve moved out of our line to stand next to Mike.

“What the hell?”

I had no idea who blurted that out, but I concurred with him entirely.

Before our very eyes, light swirled around our fellow pledge brothers, transforming them into one of the Nave. Unlike Q’s flashy introduction, Mike and Steve changed in seconds but were just as awe-inspiring. Even though he was annoying, Mike was always a good-looking guy, even more so now that he was bathed in that radiant aura. On the other hand, Steve went from a skinny emo kid to a toned and cut stud. Like the rest of the Brothers, Steven looked like he walked out of an underwear ad.

Holy shit…

“Are you serious? You both were Brothers this whole time?” Paul asked.

“Every pledge class secretly gets a couple of Brothers in their midst,” Steven answered. “A role Mike and I have been doing for many years now.”

“But…but…” Paul was too overwhelmed to form another coherent thought. I’m sure his mind was spinning with all the times he mistreated Steve.

“It’s the way it’s always been,” Steel said as he stepped between the two. “Each plays a vital role in your development as brothers. On the one hand, you have the arrogant and thick-headed pledge who thinks he knows it all and feels everyone should bow down to him simply because he is who he is. We ask ourselves, will anyone have the courage to stand up to him?”

“Jacob did,” Shaun said with a smile. “You showed all the qualities we look for in a leader and a fellow Brother. For that, we commend you.”

“And on the other hand, you have a pledge that’s not quite cut from the same mold as everyone else. He’s seen as the outcast, the one who’ll likely not make it to the end and drag everyone down with him. Do you shun him?” Steel’s gaze fell on each pledge as he spoke.

“No, they don’t,” Shaun said proudly. “They embrace him in the spirit of brotherhood. Even Paul came around eventually.” He looked at Paul and smirked. “These are just some of the things we look for in a potential brother, and you guys did not disappoint.”

Steven stood in front of us with a little smile playing on his lips. “You guys are awesome. And I know you’re unsure of yourself and the things to come, but believe me when I say, joining The Brotherhood was the best thing that ever happened to me. I promise you, a year from now, should you decide to stay, you’ll be just as grateful.” He walked up and placed his hands on Paul’s shoulders. “No matter what you decide, remember to stay true to yourself.”

I could tell Paul wanted to say something, but the words were caught in his throat. If I had to guess, he probably wanted to apologize for all the times he treated him like shit. I think Steve understood exactly what Paul wanted to say, for he smiled and kissed him on the lips before backing up and fading away in a halo of light.

Mike came up to me and offered me his hand. “Sorry for being such an ass,” he said as we shook hands. “But I always knew you had it in you.” He offered a sincere smile and then disappeared much as Steve did.

I took a moment to step back and look at everything with a fresh pair of eyes. This was happening. It wasn’t a dream. There are people out there who aren’t people at all. They have wings, their eyes turn into pure light, and they vanish into thin air as quickly as I would step thru a door. It’s like everything I grew up believing wasn’t real anymore.

“May I ask something?” I finally said.

“Of course,” Seth replied.

“You guys paint an amazing picture of what life in The Brotherhood would be like. The bond, the camaraderie, the prestige of being part of this house, but is there something else we should know? For instance, the Brothers Q and I ran into at the mall tonight didn’t seem to be all about the hugs and kisses. I’m assuming they were Brothers, right? Because the things I saw them do….”

“You’re waiting for the other shoe to drop,” Steel said. “You suspect there is a darker side of what we offer.” He laughed. “That’s why we like you, Jacob. You think ahead and assess all the angles.”

“The being who accosted you tonight were not Brothers, Jacob,” Shaun said. “A Nave would ever harm one of his own.” He paused for a moment. He was trying to figure out the best way to explain without revealing too much. I’m sure he was bound to some oath of silence until we made our decision. He looked at the rest of the Circle, and they nodded as if permitting him.

“When the El’odian Nave were created so were the El’odian Skai. They are our opposite in every way – the yin to our yang. While the Nave were created from the very essence of life and light, the Skai were forged from flame and shadow. You cannot tell us apart in our human forms, but in our actual forms, we appear as night and day.”

Shawn produced two golf ball-sized orbs from the palm of his hand that he tossed to the side. They exploded on impact, and after the initial flash faded, we saw two very naked guys standing there. Upon closer examination, I realized they were twins with black hair, blue eyes, and identical bodies.

“They’re not real,” Shaun assured us. “Just something conjured from my mind to help illustrate my point. On the left, you have an El’odian Nave.” The guy on the left changed very much as Q did, and within moments, he was standing before us; his ivory wings stretched out with the very tips reaching for the heavens. “Every form of life has its natural enemy. As out of this world as we may seem to you, we’re no different.”

The guy on the right began going thru a very different transformation. His eyes turned black as tar while his hair became white as snow. His skin took on a dark grayish tone with a subtle luster as if his body was oiled. All the pledges jumped when two pillars of fire exploded from his back. Within seconds they started to flap and take shape. When the flames were extinguished, all that remained were a pair of feathered wings as black as a raven.

“This is our enemy, an El’odian Skai,” Shaun declared.

The Skai was just as unique as the Nave standing beside him. Don’t think for a moment I was describing some demon spawn from hell. Even in his dark form, he was a sight to behold. Granted, if I saw something like that walking toward me a week ago, I would’ve run like hell, but since I wasn’t in danger, I could honestly admire his unique beauty. They were cut from the same cloth when it came to their looks.

“That’s enough,” Q said.

Shawn nodded, and they were gone with a flash of his eyes.

“So, you’re saying Nave are the good guys, and the other guys are bad?” Arsen inquired.

“No, not at all,” Seth said. “The division between the Nave and Skai is much more complicated than such a simple concept as good and evil. Take two lions, for instance. Pit them against each other, and they would defend their pride with their lives, but that does not make one more or less evil than the other. We have big philosophical differences. I can argue that we are right, and they are wrong, but that’s just self-serving, for they would make the same argument against us.”

“Would we be putting ourselves in danger if we joined The Brotherhood?” Arsen pushed a little further.

“There’s always a risk,” Steel said. “That’s just the nature of life. You're taking a risk every time you wake up and go outside. You know very well there’s a chance you can be hit by a car or get mugged on your way to the store. Yet that doesn’t stop you from stepping thru the door every morning.”

“That’s enough,” Q said again. “We’ve said all we can at this point. It is now up to you. I realize the decisions before you are not easy ones, but it is one you’ll have to make. Unfortunately, time is limited. If you continue on the journey to becoming one with The Brotherhood, meet your Big in his bedroom no later than midnight tonight. If this is not a path you can follow, simply do nothing. At 12:01 am, you will wake up in your dorm with no memory of tonight’s events. Until then, you are free to do as you wish. However, your Big will not answer any more questions. This decision is meant to be difficult. More importantly, it’s meant to be a leap of faith in The Brotherhood and how you see yourself. You know little and surely question much. These are the building blocks on which you must base your decision. I suggest you consider your options carefully for the next few hours.”

The Inner Circle gathered around Q, and they shimmered away into thin air one by one. Q’s gaze shifted to me, and I saw a hopeful longing in his eyes just before he disappeared.

We stood in silence for nearly ten minutes. Most of the group, myself included, moved not a muscle, but a couple of guys paced back and forth. The shock was too real for us to find the right words unless you’re CJ.

“Well, that’s about all the time I need,” he said as he slapped his hands together. “I’m in. What about you dudes?”

“CJ, this isn’t a joke,” Anthony said. “You need to take this seriously. This isn’t like deciding whether to wear boxers or briefs in the morning.”

“For those of us who wear underwear, anyway,” Arsen added.

“Dude, I am taking this seriously. I’ve never taken anything more seriously in my life. I’m dead serious when I say I’m in.”

“Oh please,” Paul scoffed, “you’ve barely had enough time to form a thought, and when one comes to you, it’s a major undertaking. It’s like an Olympic event.”

“Be that as it may, I’ve made up my mind. I mean, come on! What’s there to think about?”

“Are you kidding me, CJ?” I was utterly dumbfounded that he could ask that.

“No, I’m not. Are you kidding just yourselves or me? Do you mean to tell me you dudes can go back to living a normal life given what we know now? Do you want to forget all this? To finish school and find that cozy nine to five job so you can live the rest of your life in ignorance. Well, fuck that dude!”

“We get it, CJ,” Anthony said. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but still we….”

“Fuck that!” CJ fired back. “Sleeping with Halle Berry is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Winning the lottery is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Jacking off in the Roosevelt Room in the White House while on a school trip is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” We all sort of just looked at him for a second. “But what these guys are offering is so beyond a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. These guys have been around for millions and millions of years. We’re talking about the secrets of the universe type stuff here – the meaning of life. Can you walk away from all that?”

I have never seen CJ so passionate about something before. And the scary part is he was making sense.

“Bury your heads in the sand if you want, but I’d rather spread my wings and fly.” He slowly walked up the stairs and was probably hoping we’d all follow. He stopped without turning to face us and said, “I hope you have the courage to fly alongside me.”

The minute he disappeared, Troy jumped up and headed for the stairs. “I’m with CJ,” he said simply and walked out of the Pit.

“And then there were four,” Anthony joked. “So, what do you guys think?”

“I’m thinking CJ is right,” Arsen said.

I felt a tightening in my chest.

“I don’t think I can walk away from this now,” he continued. “They’ve opened up a whole new world to us, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the least bit curious.”

“I hear ya,” Paul agreed.

My heart felt like it was beating a thousand times a second.

“What do you think, Jacob?” Arsen asked.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” I bolted out of the Pit in desperate need of some fresh air.

“Jacob, wait!”

I rushed outside and welcomed the cool breeze on my face. I breathed more easily and didn’t feel so constricted and trapped. My heart wasn’t racing a mile a minute anymore.

I sighed, and two seconds later, I was on my hands and knees, puking my guts out. What the hell was wrong with me? How could everyone else see the light so clearly, and I was filled was so many doubts? I will say this; the puking did help.

Instead of going back into the house, I decided to go for a walk. I was hoping to get my thoughts in order to make the right decision. Many different things passed thru my mind; I weighed the pros and cons. Q’s ending speech was like a call to duty; one of those ‘the few, the proud, the…well, The Brotherhood’s type of rallies and the fact that I was second-guessing the challenge made me feel weak.

Was I failing already? Had I disappointed Q by not following CJ whole-heartedly up those stairs, dashing into Q’s bedroom and screaming, ‘Yes! Yes! Where do I sign?’”

I don’t know how or why, but I walked past Lady White’s shop just as she came out and locked the door. “Hello, Jacob,” she said before she ever turned to see me standing there. That was just creepy.

She walked up to me, adjusting her shawl. I looked her dead in the eyes and exclaimed, “You’re one of them, aren’t you?”

She laughed at me as if I was the silliest thing in the world to her. “Come… join an old lady for a walk.” Without waiting for an answer, she slipped her arm around mine and started walking.

I felt kind of weird, which is probably why we walked for a block without saying a word. I think she picked up on the fact that if she didn’t get the ball rolling, I sure as hell wasn’t.

“I can’t decide for you, Jacob,” she said, patting my arm like a loving grandmother. “The road before you is yours and yours alone.”

“What are you talking about?” I protested. “I wasn’t seeking you out for answers. I was just out for a walk.”

“Of course, you were,” she laughed. “And you just happened to come across my shop tonight of all nights, stammering phrases like ‘you’re one of them,’ right?” She looked up at my face and smiled. “You young boys amuse me.”

Lady White did have a point. On some level, conscious or otherwise, I sought her out because I needed answers I knew the brothers weren’t willing to provide. And with all her craziness, I knew she had to be one of them.

“I’m not one of them,” she said.

Boy, was I on a roll that night. “What are you then? One of the Skai?”

“No. I’m something completely different, but that’s a story for another time. Besides, you didn’t come here to discuss my family tree, did you?”

Officially it was a question. But, like most of her words, it was delivered as fact. “I just don’t know what to do,” I conceded.

“First, ask yourself what it is you truly fear?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“It’s not the Nave you fear.”

“The hell it isn’t!”

“Jacob, you came down here to find me when you believed I was Nave in your heart. A person terrified of the Nave world would not do that. You would never have returned to the house after the incident on the cliff with Q.”

I was taken aback. “How do you know about that?”

“I see many things,” was her vague and cryptic answer. “Just like I see, your fear does not lie with the El’odian Nave.”

“Fine, since you’re the fortune teller, why don’t you clue me in on what I’m afraid of?”

“I could tell you, but it wouldn’t help. You must hear it in your voice, from your lips, to come to terms with it.”

Lady White led me to a bench, and we sat down; she clasped her hand over mine on my lap. “What if I tell you that if you walk away, you will eventually graduate from college with your doctoral Ph.D., marry Alexandra and have three children, and live in a house with the white picket fence?”

“I’d say that’s not such a shabby future.”

“But all the while, you’ll live the rest of your life with this nagging feeling you’re missing out on something, or more importantly, someone. Unlike your fellow pledges, something else draws you to The Brotherhood. It has nothing to do with who they are or represent.”

“Q,” I whispered.

“They may be able to make you forget about everything you saw tonight, but your love for Q is real, and that’s not so easy to forget. There will always be a part of you that will feel incomplete, and you’ll never quite understand why. I suppose if you can live with that….”

“But I’m so scared,” I interrupted.

Placing her hands on either side of my face, Lady White forced me to look into her eyes. “What are you so afraid of, Jacob?

I couldn’t believe tears were rolling down my face. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose myself again.” I looked away from her and cleared the tears with the back of my hand. “I spent the last nine years trying to build…uh, find…some form of an identity for myself, and I don’t want to lose it again.”

She placed her finger under my chin and lifted my head. I closed my eyes as she kissed my forehead and whispered into my ear, “how do you know this isn’t the ‘self’ you were meant to find?”

I gasped, and my eyes shot open. Lady White was gone. I still had a million questions and more than my share of doubt, but she left me with something I hadn’t recognized before. She left me with a renewed sense of hope.

And with it, the realization that I wasn’t ready to walk away from Q.

It was no surprise that at 11:58 pm, my heart was fluttering as Q opened his bedroom door. We stood there staring at each other; a clear sense of relief washed over his face.

“Just promise me one thing?” I asked.

“Anything.”

“Please don’t share any secrets of the universe with CJ. That’s just a recipe for disaster.”

Q laughed his ass off and invited me in. “Have a seat,” he said, “we have a lot to talk about….”