The Brotherhood

Chapter XV

By X

We just stood there. Confusion, shock, disbelief, and fear pierced us like the pointy end of a sword. It was a simple word…dismissed. Yet it cut more profound than any knife and burned hotter than any flame. I can’t tell you what I was thinking. I remember an empty void, a stillness I couldn’t escape in my mind. It was a bad dream from which I desperately wanted to wake.

“This can’t be happening….” I never actually heard the words escape my lips. Later, I denied it when I was told I was the first to speak.

Arsen took a step forward. “This has to be some kind of mistake.” He shook his head to clear the fog from his mind.

“No mistake,” Jacob assured him.

“But why?” CJ asked.

“I’m afraid it’s not open to discussion. If it’s any consolation, you’re all being dismissed without prejudice. If we decide to reopen -”

“Wait!” Dylan yelled as he rushed up from the bottom of the stairs. “Stop! No one is going anywhere.”

“What?” Jacob now sounded as surprised as I did a second ago. “What do you think you’re doing?” He looked annoyed. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought he walked over to Dylan to push him down the stairs. “This order comes directly from Kyrios. You don’t have the power to overrule him.”

“And this is not coming from me, Jacob.” Dylan got right up in his face. “It comes from Q!”

The name shot from Dylan’s lips like a bullet, and Jacob staggered back as if he’d been hit. He was as much at a loss for words as we were. I knew Jacob wasn’t one to make things easy. His silence was short-lived, and he didn’t disappoint as expected.

“What difference does that make?”

“Jacob?” Dylan laughed at Jacob’s arrogance. “Are you saying Q is insignificant? Are you trying to go there?”

“No! Of course not! Don’t twist my words around. I’m saying this does not change the fact that Kyrios ordered this pledge class to be dismissed.”

“Yes, I know that, but Q countermanded that order not two minutes ago. Come on, Jacob, you know as well as I do that dismissing an entire pledge class can only be ordered by the head of the house. Unless you’re telling me Q himself has been relieved of his obligations, he is still the head of his house. His order supersedes all others. His order stands.”

Jacob remained silent. I think they forgot we were even there. It was the Dylan and Jacob Show playing out before a live audience. And it wasn’t a comedy. It was a nail-biting drama. Who was right? Who had the rule of law behind them?

Most importantly, which Brother would back down first?

“Do you want to do this, Dylan? Do you want to go against Kyrios?”

“Me?” Dylan placed his hand on his chest and then pointed at Jacob. “I’m not doing anything but relaying the message I received from the man himself. The better question is, are you prepared to go against Q? Think about it.” Turning away, Dylan took a step down the stairs before stopping. Without turning to face his fellow Brother, he said, “I’m done here.

Do what you want.”

Jacob placed his hands on the railing and watched Dylan descend the stairs. He stood silently for a few moments. Out of nowhere, he slammed his fist on the railing and walked off without saying a word, leaving us confused about what we should do. Unsure of our place, we broke into two groups and gravitated towards our corners; Mike’s group at his end of the hall, and my group ended up in my room.

“Dude!” was all CJ could muster before crashing on my bed.

“I think he’s trying to say this is fucked up!” Paul added. “What the fuck are they thinking?” His eyes were dead set on me.

“Why are you looking at me? I’m just as clueless as you are.”

“You’re Q’s Little. He didn’t hint at any of this?”

Laughter exploded from my lips. “Dumbass, Q may be my Big, but that doesn’t mean he runs shit thru me to get my opinion. Are you insane? Besides, from what Dylan was saying, it doesn’t seem like Q’s too keen on the idea, so I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

“I guess the bigger question we should be asking is who will win this one, Q or Kyrios?”

Ant’s question was profound and right on point. It didn’t matter what we thought or what we wanted to happen. It all came down to those two. He put that question out there, and it instantly shut us up. No one said a word for the longest time. We all sat around contemplating our future. As I sat there wondering what life without The Brotherhood would be like, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going thru their minds.

Life without The Brotherhood.

Should that thought be weighing so heavily on my mind? What do I lose? How would my life be any different than if I had never pledged?

Yes, Q would be missing from my life, and I’d still be with Alex. But I had pledged and, in a way, getting dismissed could be a blessing in disguise. It could open the door for Q and me to live without the fear of being ‘caught.’ So why did the thought of not becoming a Brother seem so ominous? The more I thought about it, the more I realized the answer was simple. When it came to The Brotherhood, it wasn’t about me or Q or the guys.

I simply felt like I belonged.

The Brotherhood was more than just a college fraternity. It was something more significant than all of us and made us proud. It was our family. I had no doubt the guys sitting around me would say the same thing.

“This fucking blows!” Steven kicked the wall and was about to do it again when Ant stopped him.

“Hey, calm down! Kicking shit isn’t going to solve anything. You’ll just get us in trouble. As much as this suck, we should consider ourselves lucky.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Think about it, Steve. Getting dismissed isn’t the worst thing that could happen. At least they’re not holding it against us.”

“He has a point,” I agreed. “They could ruin us if they wanted. But according to Jacob, they’re letting us go without strings.” I was going to say something more, but the soft knock pulled everyone’s attention away.

One of the Twins stood at the door. “Your Bigs want to see you.”

For a moment, no one moved. We weren’t sure if seeing your Big was good or bad.

“Today would be nice,” the Twin added. My fellow pledges got up and left one by one, but he stopped me as I neared the door. “Not you, Jacob. Q is tied up right now. I’m sure once he’s available, he’ll send for you…if he wants.” He smiled and patted my arm before leaving me alone in my room.

It made sense that Q would be indisposed at the moment. I figured his conversation with Kyrios would be more than a five-minute thing. But I must admit, I felt left out. I lay on my bed, wondering what everyone was hearing, and hoped they’d return with big ass smiles on their faces.

I didn’t want to dwell on it too much; I’d just go nuts. Trying to concentrate on something else, I dozed off for a few minutes. That was a big mistake. My dreams consisted of killer cupcakes, dancing ducks, and shadows fluttered just out of reach.

I remember smelling candy. Even while I slept ~ or at least I think I was still asleep ~ I got the feeling I was being watched. I opened my eyes suddenly to see the prince boy standing at the door, staring at me. An average person would have jumped two feet, but for whatever reason, I wasn’t fazed by him standing there in all his creepiness.

I sat up and waited for him to say something. He never said a word.

“Um…hello.” I figured someone had to break the ice.

“Hey,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

As insightful as his introduction was, I was expecting more, especially since he went to the trouble of coming to my room so he could stand at my door and stare at me like I owed him money. “I’m sorry. Is there something I can help you with?”

“I believe so,” he said and walked into the room. “I need you to take me to the Oracle.”

“The who?”

“The Oracle.” He genuinely appeared to be perplexed as to why I looked confused. “The Wise One. The Mother of Reason and Harmony. You have been in her presence.”

I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. “I’m sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong person. I don’t know anybody’s mother or any Oracles for that matter….” The word ‘Oracle’ got me thinking, and it finally clicked. “Unless you’re talking about the crazy fortuneteller down in the village.”

“Fortuneteller?” he mused as if it were the first time he ever heard the word. “Ah,” he laughed, “crude and not very accurate, but I suppose it fits considering your limited understanding. Yes, I need to speak with this fortuneteller. I’d be grateful if you’d take me to her.”

“Um, she’s right down in the village. All you must do is look for the creepy-looking shop. Seriously, you can’t miss it.”

He came at me abruptly and stopped a few feet away, his hands out in front of him like he was ready to choke someone. “Yes, I realize she’s close. Somewhere very close, but that information hasn’t come to me yet, and I don’t have time to wait until it does. That’s why I’m asking you to take me to her. Please.”

“Why me?” I admit I wasn’t making this easy, but I think my question was valid. I sure as hell didn’t want to get in trouble.

“Aren’t you one of these pledges?”

“Yes.”

“So, aren’t you required to do as we ask?”

“I’m required to do what the Brothers ask of me, and I….”

“And what? You don’t believe me to be a Brother?” A little smile appeared on his face. I think he was both amused and annoyed at the same time. “If you’re afraid you’ll get in trouble for helping me, you need not worry. Trust me; not helping me would be the larger mistake…my friend.”

I still had some reservations but decided to help him, nonetheless. The way the Brothers acted when they brought him into the house made it clear he was someone of importance. How much trouble could I possibly get into?

We left the house without running into anyone and headed toward campus. We had yet to say a single word after leaving my room. He had this fierce look of determination on his face like he was on a mission, and nothing could stop him. That is, of course, until we hit the campus, where his face went from hardcore tenacity to utter wonder and disbelief. He stopped dead in his tracks, frozen.

“What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never seen anything like them before,” he replied in a hushed voice.

I was missing something. I tried to follow his line of sight, but all I saw was a bench with a garbage can next to it, a couple of statues, and a few girls reading on a blanket. “What are you looking at exactly?”

Slowly raising his hand, he pointed at the group of girls.

Now I’ve come across some pretty hot girls that made me stop whatever I was doing at the moment, but they had to be gorgeous model-type girls to get that kind of a reaction from me. These girls were cute but nowhere near the Halle Berry’s of the world.

“You’ve never seen a girl before, buddy?” I couldn’t help but make a joke of it, but I guess the joke was on me when he nodded no. That was a little weird because it’s not like he was playing along with me – he was dead serious.

“Only the Oracle,” he confessed softly. “And only in memory.”

“Okay then…” Placing my hands on his shoulder, I gently pushed him onward. “We should keep moving if you want to catch this Oracle of yours.” The boy gawked at every girl that walked by. Unlike most boys his age, he wasn’t staring at them with lust in his eyes. He stared at them with the look of lingering questions.

“So, do you have a name?” I figured I’d try to bring him back into my reality. “Hey!” I slapped him on his arm. Risky, I know, but I had to do something.

“What?”

“A name, do you have one?”

“Oh…Soullen.”

“Soullen, huh? I like it. It’s unique.”

“Thank you. It’s not unique. It was my father’s name.”

“So why do the Brothers refer to you as prince?” I snuck that one under the radar, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He was still marveling at the ladies around us, so I figured I had a decent shot at getting him to spill.

“I’m the last remaining royal member of….” His eyes found mine, and he laughed suddenly and then slapped me on my stomach. “Nice try, but you’re not supposed to know these things. At least not yet anyway.”

I shrugged and laughed along with him. “Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“No, I suppose not. Let’s just say it's…well, as you would say…it’s complicated.”

“Fair enough,” I smiled and dropped the subject. “So why do you need to speak with Lady White?”

“Lady White?” he mused. “Is that what she goes by now? Huh, interesting. I simply need someone to talk to.”

“Forgive me for saying so, but it seems like you have a house full of Brothers back there that care enough about you to listen.”

“I know that. I’m looking for an objective point of view.”

“And she’ll give you that?”

“Absolutely. She’s neutral in all things. It’s the way it’s always been.”

“How long have you known her?”

“My whole life.”

“How old are you anyway?”

He looked up at me with a sly smirk on his face. “Old enough, trust me. Why, how old do you think I am?”

“I’d guess around sixteen or so.”

“And you’d be right. Now come on, let’s hurry!” Slapping me in the back, he took off running.

I’m pretty fit and a great runner, if I say so myself, but I could not keep up with the boy to save my life. He constantly stayed about half a block ahead of me. It was pissing me off. We hit the Village, and he suddenly stopped. I’d guess he put the brakes on when he realized he had no idea where he was going. It was not to give me a chance to catch up.

With my hands on my waist, I walked up next to him and tried to catch my breath. I was hot, sweaty, and bothered, but not in a good way. I looked at that little fucker and became annoyed. “You’re not even out of breath?”

Soullen looked at me, looking like a hot mess, and I could almost see the light bulb go off in his head. “Oh, right…” He took a few deep breaths like he gasped for air and gave me thumbs up. “Oh yeah, that feels better.” Then he went right back to breathing normally. That fucker! “She’s close. Where is she?”

I pointed across the street to her shop, and he took off again like a bullet. “Hey! Be careful crossing that street!” The little snot almost got hit by two cars. I shuddered at the thought of explaining that one to the Brothers.

I entered the shop and saw Soullen looking around in the waiting room. Before I could say anything, he took off into the next room, where Lady White does her readings. I called after him, but it was pointless, so I went after him again.

I caught hold of him and spun him around by the arm. “Hey, you can’t just go busting into people’s places unless you’re trying to get your criminal résumé in order.”

A soft laugh came from the other end of the room. “That’s quite alright, Jacob. You’re both welcome here. Always.”

Soullen lit up like a Christmas tree when he laid eyes on her. He ran to her and hugged her like nothing else. I was afraid he would knock the poor lady over for a second. “So, you do know him.”

“That I do,” she smiled, took his face into her hands, and looked into his eyes. “My precious one.” She pulled him into another, tighter hug. “I always knew you weren’t lost to us. Now come into the kitchen and help me. I’m baking cookies.”

“What’s a cookie?”

Lady White laughed and gently pushed him into the kitchen. “You’ll love them. Jacob, make yourself at home. I’ll be with you shortly.”

What was that supposed to mean? I didn’t need anything. I didn’t even want to be there necessarily. I made the best of it and went to one of the cabinets filled with crystal figurines. Lady White returned with a small bowl filled with five hardboiled eggs. It was an odd snack to offer someone, but she was strange.

“No, thank you.”

“These aren’t for you,” she placed the bowl on the table and returned to the kitchen.

I shrugged it off and went back to the figurines. Then I remembered my previous visit. She had eggs out for some pet I never saw. I looked at the table, and only four eggs were left. “Look, whatever or whoever you are, knock yourself out.” I was more curious about what Lady White and Soullen were discussing. I gradually made my way towards the kitchen door. You know, to check out the paintings on the wall.

“It’s not fair!” Soullen exclaimed.

That perked my ears right up.

“Oh? And you believe fairness is going to Qua’quelle’s room and demanding something for which you have no right? I’m disappointed in you, Soullen. Making a scene like that and smashing his desk. That’s not how you treat your Brothers. Your father would not have approved of your behavior.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I was upset.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, Soullen.”

“They’re denying me my birthright, and Qua’quelle isn’t helping.”

Not for nothing, but the cookies she was baking smelled amazing!

“You speak of Qua’quelle with such disdain. It’s shameful and breaks my heart. After all, I remember how you worshipped him—always following him around, trying to impress and make him proud of you. He was always so very proud of you. He loves you more than you’ll ever know. He does not deserve this treatment from you.”

“Then why does he deny me my birthright?”

“Birthright,” She scoffed. “The time of birthrights is long gone, Soullen.”

“You sound like Q.”

She laughed. “I’ll take that as a compliment. You’re so concerned with your ‘birthright’ you’ve forgotten what it truly means. Do you know what your birthright is, Soullen? It’s that house filled with your Brothers that love you without question. It’s that house filled with your Brothers that have unyielding devotion to each other. It’s that house filled with your Brothers who’d gladly give their lives for their family. That’s your birthright…that’s what you’ve inherited. Now I ask you, Soullen, is that so terrible?”

He didn’t answer for a long while, but when he finally said, “no, it’s not,” his words were filled with guilt and shame.

“You’ve just awoken, so their deaths are still clear in your mind. The bitterness still stings your tongue. The loss of your brother was a loss to us all. And I know you miss your father dearly. I can see that. We all do, for he was a great king and a greater father figure to all your Brothers, but trying to resurrect the past will not bring them back.”

He must have stood up to go to her because I could hear his muffled cries. “I want them back so much,” he pleaded. “Just bring them back!”

“Shhh, it’s okay, my precious one. You are not alone. You will never be alone.”

I didn’t understand what was happening, but I felt for him. I had a lump in my throat. I choked up, hearing him beg for his loved ones back.

“Now, it’s time for you to return home and make things right with Qua’quelle. I don’t want to hear about any more nonsense between my boys. Talk to him and come to me when it’s settled. Tell me how it went. Okay?”

“I promise,” he said.

“Go on now. Go on.”

I flew back across the room to the figurine cabinet and pretended to be more interested in a pair of crystal doves than the conversation in the next room. When the kitchen door swung open, I expected to see Soullen, but it was Lady White instead. “Where’s Soullen?”

“Don’t worry about him. He’s fine. Come help an old lady move these boxes into the pantry.” She moved to a stack of unmarked crates near the front porch.

“No, seriously, where did he go? I brought him out here, so I’m responsible for him. I can’t just lose him.”

She smiled. “Jacob, you’ve got that backward. He’s responsible for you, but no matter, you’re in good hands. I assure you there is no need to worry about Soullen. Now, will you let an old lady move boxes by herself? Hmmm?”

She didn’t wait for me to answer. She reached for the top box. Afraid she would drop it on her head, I rushed to her side to take the box from her hand.

“Good,” she said and opened the kitchen door. “Right in here will do fine.”

Yeah, she played me, but I moved the five crates regardless. I was expecting her to send me on my way when I finished, but instead, she offered me a seat at the table and insisted I sit. The kitchen reminded me of my grandmother’s. It just had that look and feel that said nothing can touch you here. I wondered if she was someone’s grandmother.

“What can I do for you, Jacob?” she asked.

“Me? I don’t need anything. I just brought Soullen to your shop.”

“Oh, I see,” she laughed, patted my shoulder, and went to the stove. “You believe you came here for Soullen’s sake. That’s good. That’s good.” She pulled out a sheet of cookies from the oven and placed three of them on a small plate. She stood over me for a moment with the plate in hand. Then, she grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her eyes. “You’re falling in love with him,” she mused.

“Falling in love with whom?”

She just smirked. “Eat your cookies and be careful they’re hot.”

“I don’t want your cookies….”

Lady White looked over her shoulder with that look. The one only a grandmother can give, and the next thing I know, I’m eating the cookies. She poured me a tall glass of chocolate milk and joined me at the table. We sat silently while she watched me eat, perhaps waiting for me to make the first move. Despite the million questions on the tip of my tongue, I didn’t know what to say.

“Go on…”

Those two words were all I needed. “Is this a test? Are you part of an elaborate production being put on for my benefit?

“If you only know how many boys, sitting in that same spot, asked that same question.”

“And what did you tell them?”

“Nothing.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Surprising.”

“I asked them what they thought was the truth.”

“It’s a test, of course,” I said matter-of-factly. “The things I’ve heard and seen are not possible. What else could it be?”

“Interesting, don’t you think? You hold firmly to your belief, yet here you are asking the question. Why do you think that is?”

I shrugged as I bit into my second cookie.

“Would you feel better if I reinforced your belief that it was a test? What else could it be, Jacob? Nothing else could fit inside the box that is your reality. For that to happen, you’d have to let go of what you know. You’d have to step outside that box. Most people are not capable of that. Are you one of those people?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s fair. Unfortunately, you’ll have to answer that question sooner than you realize. But not today.”

Talk about not knowing which way was up or down or left or right. That’s how I felt after every Lady White encounter. She had a severe talent for not saying anything while making you doubt everything you believe. The Brotherhood had nothing on her. The possibility of what she was implying - of her reality - was too overwhelming for me. I wasn’t prepared to go there just yet.

How could I? It was just too crazy.

“Finish your milk,” she said and cleared my plate from the table.

I watched her rinse the plate in the sink, and the question just left my lips as casually as I would slip on a pair of shoes. “You know who I am, don’t you? I mean, you really know.”

Slowly she shut off the water and dried her hands with a cloth towel. “How does that fit into your box?”

“Damn the box! Just tell me what you know.”

“I’m sorry, Jacob.” I hate to admit it, but her apology was genuine. “I can’t give you what you want. Possessing something doesn’t mean it is yours to give. As I said, this is a path you must take. I can promise that the door to your identity will be unlocked if it gives you solace. You already found the key.”

I don’t know what made my head spin more, the fact that she might honestly know the secret to my past or the key crap. She pushed me out the door before I had the chance to ask about either. “It’s time for you to return to the house before they miss you.”

I had so many more questions I wanted to ask her, but I let it go. I wouldn’t get a straight answer anyway. I’d just leave with more questions. I thanked Lady White for her time and walked out of her shop. Three steps later, she called out to me.

“Remember, Jacob, when you open one door, you usually close another behind you.”

I nodded.

It was all I could do. That made as much sense to me as everything else she said. My head was filled with questions and even more doubts. Would I be walking into my future or former home? At that moment, the road before me looked as murky as the past I wanted to regain. If the finish line was nearby, I couldn’t see it.

Where was this key?

I felt toyed with a little bit. If you’re going to give me an inch, why not give me the whole mile? There was a moment when I stopped walking and started laughing at myself. Why was I buying into any of this? What the hell was I thinking? Why was I doing this to myself? For a moment, she gave me hope, which can be dangerous. I wasn’t going to feed into it. There was no magic key, and she sure knew nothing about me. If I have to play this game to get into The Brotherhood, so be it. Whatever questions I had would be answered if I made it in. Suppose I didn’t, to hell with it.

There was no point in driving myself crazy. The Brothers have been playing this game for a long time. I wasn’t going to be the one to suddenly “crack the code.”

My heart raced as I entered the house. Did things fall in our favor, or was I entering just to get the boot? I was hoping to run into one of my fellow pledges, but no such luck. The house was quiet, almost lonely. It seemed like a bad sign. One of the brothers passed me in the hall. He simply nodded and kept going without saying a word. My room was empty, but Arsen’s stuff was still there. Maybe the quiet was just that…quiet. Nobody else was in their rooms, and there wasn’t a brother around to give me directions. I sat on my bed and waited.

My restlessness got the best of me, and I left my room with no clear destination in mind but ultimately ended up in front of Q’s bedroom door. I wanted to knock. I put my hand up but walked away instead. I got two steps away before I turned around again. This time I stood there longer but didn’t put my hand up. I don’t know if that’s progress or not.

I moved away for a second time but only made it one step before turning back. I was getting dizzy and feeling dumb. I didn’t want to bother him, and even though we were this secret couple, I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to show up unannounced. I wish I had a rule book to follow at times like these or even a pamphlet with solid suggestions. My life would be much easier.

“Well, this is just stupid,” I whispered.

“I’d have to agree,” a voice whispered back.

I jumped, startled so bad my whole body thrust full force into the door. I turned to see Q standing there, smirking.

“I almost didn’t interrupt you. I wanted to see how this would play out.”

“Jerk!” My first reaction was to punch him in the shoulder, and I went with it. Now don’t get it twisted. It was more of a love tap than a punch and meant to be taken in the spirit of things. Q went along with it. “Don’t laugh at me!” I threw a second punch which he caught and then pinned me to the door with one hand over my head. I could’ve stuck out my tongue and licked his lip; he was close to me.

“You never have to stand outside this door; it’s forever open to you.” A sweetness to his breath made me yearn for his kiss. He must have been eating sour apple candy like Jolly Ranchers, and I love those things. He kissed me right there, and I was lost to him. He seemed oblivious that we were still standing in the hall where anyone could see.

I knew one thing for sure. It was green apple Jolly Ranchers.

Q managed to open the door while we kissed; before I knew it, we were inside his bedroom. He locked it behind him. “I’m sorry,” he said softly and broke away from our embrace; his hand was purposely sliding across my stomach as he walked off.

“For what?” I was still in a daze. His actions, though very welcomed, were unexpected.

“The last few days, I haven’t given you much attention, both as your Big or your…boyfriend.”

Watching him get used to saying the word out loud was cute. I was the same way. “You don’t have to apologize. As much as I would love to spend as much time with you as possible, I get you’re busy, so please don’t sweat it.”

“Handsome and understanding,” he smiled. “But I’d still like to make it up to you.”

My interest was piqued. I watched him walk past his desk towards the bathroom.

The desk…my eyes stayed focused on the desk. It wasn’t all smashed up like I thought it would be. Everything was fine. It looked like nothing had happened. Hell, even the stapler was where I remembered. I don’t know why it was such a shocker. It’s Q’s stuff, for crying out loud. I’m sure he had it replaced within hours of Soullen smashing it to pieces.

Without thinking, I turned to ask him about it. A dumb move considering I wasn’t supposed to be there to witness the destruction in the first place. Luckily, just as I opened my mouth to ask, Q pulled his shirt off leisurely. His actions were slow and deliberate and distracted the hell out of me. I watched in awe as his back muscles flexed and twisted. He undid the button on his shorts and shifted his right leg back a little allowing them to fall to the ground. He had these sexy white, low-rise trunks that hugged him in all the right places. I swear he must have been an underwear model in a former life because…damn!

Q disappeared into the bathroom. I expected him to come back out. He never did. Instead, a warm, flickering light emanated from the darkness, pulling me into the bathroom as if it were Q’s voice calling for me. I walked in just in time to see Q’s naked body sink into the Jacuzzi, and my mind went in ten different directions. Three burning candles around the Jacuzzi and a heavy mist pouring out of the water. This was not what I expected when I came to his room, but it was a welcomed surprise.

The room smelled sweet, and at first, I thought the candles were scented, but I was wrong. The aroma came from the water, which appeared to have crimson-rose petals floating on the surface. I consider myself a romantic guy, but I never did anything like this for Alex.

Q reached out his hand to tug on my pant leg. “These tend to get in the way,” he said.

I couldn’t have agreed more. I stripped and joined him, settling between his legs with my back to his chest and my head below his chin. The water was hot, and the jets felt great against my body.

I relaxed almost instantly. Thanks, in no small part, to the atmosphere and Q slowly combing his fingers thru my hair.

I picked up one of the pedals in the palm of my hand and realized it wasn’t from a rose at all. The sweet aroma was coming from the pedal, and so was the mist. I could see it curling up from its edges like the smoke from a cigar. Not to mention it was warm to the touch. I was going to question it, but in the end, I just let the pedal fall back into the water. The mood was just too perfect to ruin by asking the how or the why. All that mattered to me was being in the arms of my man.

We sat coiled and content in each other’s arms. Q continued to run his fingers thru my hair without missing a beat. I ran my hands lazily up and down his legs while keeping my eyes closed. I simply wanted to enjoy the moment.

“So…” Q said and kissed the top of my head.

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just shrugged. Well, that’s not entirely true. I wanted to ask him what was going on with the pledges and if we still had a chance to become Brothers. But I didn’t want to go there right off the bat, so I held off, hoping he’d broach the subject up himself.

“Seriously, what’s on your mind? Or did your visit with Lady White freak you out to the point of silence?”

“How did you know I was with Lady White?”

“Really, Jacob? You’re asking me that of all people?”

I laughed because he was so right. “Oh yeah, I forgot who I was talking to for a minute. You know you should consider a job with the CIA. I’m sure they could use someone with your ‘I Spy’ skills.”

He brushed his lips against my ear and whispered, “Trust me, the CIA has nothing on us.”

“You know what’s sad? I believe that.” He liked that. “But no, Lady White didn’t freak me out at all. I wasn’t there for myself. I was just showing Soullen where her shop was.”

“Well, that explains his sudden change in attitude.”

“Were you guys having problems?”

“In a roundabout sort of way. Soullen’s not accustomed to the way things are now. He misses his father and brother, so he feels overwhelmingly alone. Right now, his anger is directed toward everyone and anyone. I don’t mind being his lightning rod for the time being. Underneath it all, Soullen is a great kid.”

“You two are close?”

“Yeah, I like to think so.” I could feel him smiling behind me. It was kind of sweet. “My father wasn’t in the picture back in the day, so his father looked after me like I was one of his own. When Soullen was born, he looked at me no differently than his brother did. To Soullen, we were all one family.”

“You talk about your dads a lot. Where were your moms doing all this?”

“It’s complicated.” That’s all Q said on the matter. I knew better than to keep digging. The sudden change in his tone made it clear that was all he was prepared to share at the moment. I had to accept that certain things come with time.

Now that the ball was rolling, I figured it was ok to ease in on other topics of conversation. “So, what’s going to happen to us pledges?” Okay, maybe that wasn’t so much easing into it than it was gunning straight for it. “Jacob got us all more than a little worried; I’m not going to lie.”

Q hugged me close for reassurance. “You don’t have to worry about that for now. I spoke with Kyrios, and we came to an understanding.” He knew I would ask something more, but he didn’t give me a chance. “You probably have a million questions, but I can’t discuss it right now. Just trust me when I say you guys are good. All your fellow pledges are out with their Bigs celebrating. We can go join them if you want.”

I thought about it for like a nano-second. “No, I’m good here, thanks.”

He laughed and kissed me again. Q was being so kind and loving towards me. I felt horrible. Not exactly the reaction you’d expect, right? There was still stuff I hadn’t told him, and just thinking about it twisted my stomach in knots. I sat up in the Jacuzzi and stared into the misty water.

Q playfully wrapped his legs around my waist and ran the tips of his fingers down my back. “What’s wrong, Jacob?”

“There’s something I have to tell you…something I want to tell you but don’t know how to do it.”

“Just say what’s on your mind. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. You can tell me anything.”

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, and he allowed me the time without putting additional pressure on me to talk. Q was just awesome like that.

Finally, I just broke down and told him everything about the “shadow man.” I spilled everything from the encounter in the janitor’s closet to the time in the Arcade. I told him about the program he wanted me to plant on his computer, the listening devices, and all this craziness. I told him he threatened to expose our relationship if I didn’t follow his orders. I think I seriously said it in one long breath.

But finally, it felt amazing to put it all out there. It was like the weight of the world crumbled off my shoulders with every word. I could breathe again.

Q’s reaction was immediate. He stopped stroking my back and unwrapped his legs from my waist. All I could do was fiddle my fingers in the water and hope for the best. I could only assume he was quiet for so long because he was in shock and didn’t know what to say. Then I felt him pull away from me a little bit. It wasn’t like he got up and left, but it was enough for me to notice. My heart dropped to my stomach and shattered. I couldn’t stop my eyes from watering up.

Pressing his lips to my ear, he whispered, “Congratulations,” and kissed me on the neck.

What just happened here?

I turned to face Q. “What do you mean ‘congratulations?’”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s usually what you tell someone when they pass their final trial. I could have gone with something else, I suppose. Like ‘good job’ or ‘nice one ‘if you prefer.”

I splashed his face with water. “Shut up! Do you mean I passed? I fucking passed?”

He nodded, and his smile grew.

I jumped on Q, hugged him, and splashed water everywhere. I couldn’t stop kissing him, not that I wanted to stop. Then it hit me. “Who was the shadow guy because he knew about us? He threatened to out our relationship if I didn’t do what he wanted? It was you all along, wasn’t it?”

“Not the whole time, no. Different Brothers played the roles at different times. I was the one in the Arcade, though.”

“You used my feelings for you to set a trap?” I was annoyed the instant I spoke those words out loud.

“Yes.” He said it so bluntly and without apology that it stung a little. “The final trail is tailored specifically to each pledge. The whole point is to find something that will put them at odds with The Brotherhood to see how they handle it and where their loyalties lie. Our relationship was the obvious choice for me.” Caressing the side of my face, Q looked into my eyes with a sincerity that could not be denied. “I can sit here and lie to you and feed you some line about how I regret doing it and wish there was another option, but the truth is I don’t regret it all.

“The Brotherhood is more important than any one person, and we must be 120% sure that a pledge understands that before bringing them on board. I knew from the beginning, without reservation, that you would come thru and do the right thing by The Brotherhood. I’m very proud of you, Jacob. I’m proud to have you in my life as my boyfriend, and I’ll be honored to have you stand at my side as my Brother.”

I so hated him. Only because how can anyone honestly stay mad at someone after a speech like that? It gave me goosebumps to hear Q sing my praise. I mean, what do you say to that? “You’re still an ass!” I kissed him thru his laugh as a way of thanking him for his lovely words. “What about the other guys? Have any of them passed their trails?”

“We’re still waiting on most, but we had a few early birds who figured out the right thing to do was to come to us.”

“Hey, was that a jab at me?” I twisted his nipple playfully, and his body jerked in response. I kissed it to make it better.

“I’m just saying, I’m not the one who waited until it downloaded like 90% before deciding maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do.”

“It was actual 94%.”

“Oh, because that’s better.”

“How did you know that anyway?”

“I was in the other room mirroring the computer in my office while you were doing your 007 things. I was looking at the same progress bar you were.”

“And you never thought I’d let it go all the way for even a second?”

“Not even for a split second,” he kissed me again.

God, I loved making out with Q! How he looked at me; how his kisses felt like a rose gently pressed against my lips; how he made me shiver when the tips of his fingers traveled the length of my spine…all of it made me melt.

I pulled away for a moment and then jerked forward for a quick kiss before turning around so I could lean comfortably against his chest. He hugged me tightly.

“Not for nothing, but I had a feeling this was all a test right from the get-go.”

“Of course, you did,” he mocked. “Every pledge confesses to having this knowledge after the fact.”

“No, I’m serious!”

“Yeah, I know,” he scoffed, a bright smile appearing on his face.

“Just shut up!” I jabbed him in the ribs with my elbow. “Hey, who else passed? You said there were a few.”

“God, you’re nosey! The last time I checked, you weren’t a full-fledge Brother, so you’re not privy to that information. You’ll have to wait and see. And don’t even think about asking the other pledges or telling them you passed.”

“Okay. Okay.”

“Even after it’s announced, don’t try to find out the details of their last trial. That’s something that stays between Big and Little. Only the ruling council members are entitled to the specifics.”

“Okay, I get it. Geez!” I had a question I wanted to ask him but completely spaced. It took a few minutes of silence to get the thought back finally. “Is this an automatic in for me now that I passed the final trial?”

“It’s a big win, Jacob, but it’s not the final victory. You forget fate comes in pairs. If Arsen blows it, you’re pretty much screwed. But your application goes before the Council of Brothers if he comes through. The heads of every house on the planet get together and decide your fate.”

“But you’ll put in a good word, right?”

“I’ll think about it. I might be busy that day.”

He got another, harder jab to the ribs.

“If these other Brothers don’t know us, how can they possibly make that call?”

“Look at you with all the smart questions,” he teased.

“I have my moments.”

He laughed. “The decision is made largely by the argument the Big makes on behalf of his Little.”

“Oh great! You can go in there and screw the whole thing up.”

“Pretty much. You better hope I’m not drinking like I was last time. Dylan barely made it in.”

“Ha ha, you’re funning, but not really. All joking aside, do you…. “

“Who was joking?”

“No, you should take your act on the road, dumbass.” I thought I took it too far for a moment, but Q just laughed. It was great, and we felt like a real couple, not having to work around the restraints between Big and Little. “Do you think I have a good shot? Did I do anything that will count against me?”

“You’re cute,” he said. “But yes, you did something that will count against you, and you already know what that is.”

“I put the flash drive in the computer when I should’ve come to you.”

“Yes, you did, and yes, you should have.”

I instantly felt like a douchebag. I knew better and didn’t follow my gut instinct. But like always, Q was right there to pick me back up.

He leaned in close and hugged me warmly. “I have a secret for you.”

“Oh?”

“You have this guy named Q who has your back. And believe me, when he wants it to rain…it storms.” He kissed my neck and pulled me closer. “Ultimately, you did the right thing in the end, so you’ll be fine. Trust in me.”

I did trust him.

We sat in the Jacuzzi a while longer, playfully talking about stuff all new couples talk about. Eventually, we got quiet and just enjoyed each other’s company. Finally, the heat and relaxed mood took over, and I fell asleep in Q’s arms. It was like falling asleep in heaven’s arms. There was a moment when I was in that hazy state where your eyes are closed, but you’re not quite asleep when I remember feeling warmth all around me. It was almost tangible, like a blanket wrapped around my body. I was floating, and nothing in the world could touch me.

The next thing I knew, I was batting my eyes open and stretching out like a cat on Q’s bed.

“Hey, sleepy head, you’re up.”

“What time is it?” Throwing my legs over the side, I sat up and rubbed my eyes with my palms. “Is it the next day or something?”

“No, it’s only seven,” Q laughed. “You’ve been out for like an hour or so. Come on, get up, and get dressed. I’m taking you out.”

I got up, and the silk sheets slipped off, exposing my junk to the evening air. “Where are you taking me?” Standing on the tips of my toes and throwing my warms up as high as they would, I stretched out one last time and let out the most prolonged yawn of my life. I crossed paths with Q and headed to the bathroom to get my clothes. Hooking my arm around his waist, I pulled him back and kissed him on the cheek. “Where are you taking me, sexy?”

“To the mall; now get dressed.” Breaking free from my hold, he kissed me quickly on the lips and slapped my bare ass.

“Yikes! I think I’d rather stay in.”

“I bet you would. Here catch!” I turned, and he fired a pair of underwear at me like a slingshot. It hit me in the face. “Put these on and grab whatever you want out of my closet.”

“Are these yours?” I already knew the answer to the question; I don’t know why I bothered asking. It was so stupid.

“No, I got them off the bum down the street. What kind of stupid question is that?”

See?

I put on a pair of his jeans, a red t-shirt, and some flip-flops, and I was good to go. We were halfway down the stairs when I thought of something I wanted to do…if I could find the balls to do it.

“Hey, do you mind if I grab something out of my room? It’ll just take me a second.”

He nodded and told me he’d wait for me downstairs. It took me two minutes to get what I needed and run downstairs to meet up with Q. He was by the door hugging some older man who was probably in his eighties. They seemed truly happy to see each other, as if they hadn’t seen each other in decades. Q assured him he’d be back in no time do to something. I missed that part.

I came up behind Q, and he was quick to introduce me. “This is my Little, Jacob.”

“How’s it going, young man?” I took his hand and cringed under his grip. He was surprisingly strong for a man of his age. He pointed at me and then at Q. “This one here will take you far, you understand, son?”

I nodded and smiled. “Yes, Sir.”

“You trust him, and he’ll get you far. Believe me! This was one hell of a Big I had when I was your age. One hell of a Big!”

And with those words, the pleasantries were over. Q quickly rushed him into the next room and pushed me out the door. “What did he mean by that? He’s like a hundred years old. How could you have been his Big?”

“You said it. He’s like a hundred years old and easily gets confused. Don’t worry about it.” He said all that in the best possible “Big” voice he could muster. In other words, stop asking questions.

I let it go for the time being. We got to the garage, and he tossed me the keys to the Mercedes SUV. “Want to drive?” It was a sweet ride with blacked-out windows and chrome rims.

“Hells to the yeah!”

For the most part, we listened to the radio and chatted about random stuff. My arm rested on the center console, and he would trace his fingers down my wrist and swirl on my hand’s palm.

It felt nice.

At one point, that fool got us lost. First, in my defense, I had no idea where this mall was, so I relied on him for directions. Granted, we could have punched it into the NAV system, but he was like, ‘I’ll just tell you where to go.’ Fine. But then, he takes a phone call, gets distracted, and proceeds to point every which way. Next thing you know, we’re lost. Then he tried to put it back on me like it was my fault. Whatever! I’m not going to get into our little argument over that one. I was right.

He was taking me to Pleasant View Mall. It was the newest and largest mall in Connecticut, and to top it all off, it was considered beachfront property. Sections of the mall were pure glass, providing the most amazing view of the water you can imagine. I’d never been to the mall, but I’ve seen pictures. Tons of people from all over come to see the sunset over the dark waters of the Atlantic.

“I’m just saying,” Q said as he stepped out of SUV. “If you had just listened to my direction, you would not have gotten lost.”

“I was listening to you.” I came around his side and made a choking motion like I was going for his neck. “That was the problem. You gave me bad directions because you were too busy chatting it up on the phone. So, we got lost.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged. “If it makes you feel better.”

“It doesn’t have to make me feel better; it’s the truth!”

“God, you’re so easy,” he laughed and tried to come up on me.

“Get away from me,” I jerked away, “don’t touch me. You need to be killed; I’ve decided.”

“Ha!” That echoed throughout the parking garage. “I’d love to see that happen.” Running up behind me, he locked me in a big bear hug and lifted me off my feet. He would’ve had me on the ground if it wasn’t for the pillar next to us. I was able to put my foot on it and push myself back. Somehow, I got free, but we horsed around like that all the up to the entrance.

The first thing I noticed as we entered the mall was the two guys walking out. Q didn’t see them. He was looking down at his phone, texting someone. They stuck out to me because of the way they were dressed. They wore cloaked all in black with military-style boots. One guy had a long trench coat, a spiked collar around his neck, and dark sunglasses. I looked over my shoulder and saw them come back into the mall. I thought it odd but didn’t give it much thought at the time.

Our trip to the mall wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, so I won’t bore you with the small details. We did what everyone else does - we walked around and looked at shit. I enjoyed my time with Q. I liked it when he got a call or got distracted by something because it allowed me to fall behind him to watch his nice ass wiggle in front of me. He didn’t have a belt on, so his pants hung low on his hips. Whenever he reached for something, his shirt would go up, and I got a perfect view of his sexy underwear. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. That’s sexy to me.

We walked into the clothing store, and as Q disappeared around the corner, I noticed the same two guys in black walk by the store. Again, not a big deal. But I bring up the store because it was the most fun I had with my newly found “gayness,” if you will.

Like I said, Q entered first and went to look at some shorts. I went in the opposite direction. So, in all reality, it didn’t look like we were together as friends or otherwise. After like ten minutes, Q went to the other side of the store to look at t-shirts, and that’s when I noticed the employee folding clothes next to him.

The kid couldn’t see me watching him, but I saw how he couldn’t keep his eyes off Q. Keep in mind that Q had his back towards the guy, so he had no idea what was happening. He was going about his business, oblivious to the activities behind him. The kid felt the same way I did when Q reached up to take a shirt off the rack and exposed his underwear. He bit down on his lip and gave that aggressive look that screamed, “I want to bang him right here and now.” It was even better when Q squatted down to look at something on the lower shelves. Without the belt, you could see straight down the back of his pants, just more of his sexy underwear for his viewing pleasure.

As if that wasn’t funny enough, the kid turned to his buddy at the register and waved to get his attention. He kind of nodded in Q’s direction and the other kid's mouth just floors it. He mouthed the words “oh my god” and bit his knuckle. He looked around to ensure no one - except his buddy folding clothes - was watching and came around the register.

He starts making humping and slapping motions like he was fucking Q doggy style and slapping his ass silly. He mouthed the words “oh yeah” repeatedly. The kid folding clothes lost it. Eventually, he too joined in the fun by making the head bobbing motion like he was sucking on Q’s dick or something. He even illustrated his deep-throating skills, which were interesting to watch but impossible to explain. Use your imagination.

The whole thing was hilarious. I don’t know what was funnier to me; the way they were lusting after Q or that Q had no idea what they were doing. Finally, I decided to step into view. They immediately stopped what they were doing and went back to work. The kid folding clothes was turning a light shade of red and wouldn’t make eye contact with me. They knew I must’ve seen a little bit of what they were doing. They just had no idea I saw the whole thing.

I played it cool and went up to the table he was working at and looked at some of the shirts. “That guy over there is pretty hot, huh?” I wasn’t done having my fun yet. The kid looked nervous and didn’t know quite what to say. “Dude, it’s cool. I was checking him out too.”

That broke the ice and made him feel at ease. And don’t get me wrong, these guys were hot themselves. “He comes in here all the time,” he finally whispered. “And hot doesn’t begin to describe him.”

“Amen to that. You ever put the moves on him or tried to get his number?”

“No way!” He looked at me like I was nuts. “A guy like that will not go for a guy like me. Besides, he’s probably straight and would beat my ass if I tried anything.”

“Good point,” I agreed. “But then again, he is shopping here, and this is like gay Meca for us.”

“Touché, my friend,” he laughed.

“Why don’t you go try for his number?”

“No way, dude. You go if you think it’s that easy.”

I shrugged. “Okay.” I started to walk away, and he grabbed me by the arm. “I’m serious. I’m going for it. I gave you your shot.”

“You’re nuts!”

I winked at him and quietly walked up behind Q as he bent over to look for a shirt. Now I was the one who was making the humping and slapping motion behind Q. The guy loved every second of it. Mouthing the words “watch this” to the kid, I walked up to Q and pressed my crotch against his ass. “Hey babe, did you find something you like?” I think the kid almost had a heart attack.

Leaning against my chest, Q held up two shirts and asked my opinion. I shoved my hands into his front pockets and rested my chin on his shoulder. “I like them both.” I looked over at the kid and winked. He bolted back to his friend at the register. I couldn’t help but laugh in Q’s ear.

“You know Jacob,” he began to say as he looked between the two shirts, “if you want to put on a show, I’ll take you right here over the table next time. I’m sure those guys would love that.” He gave me a peck on the lips and headed to the registers with both shirts.

“How the hell do you do that?!”

“I told you, the CIA has nothing on us.”

I hate it when he does that.

The two guys at the register were very apologetic and downright sweet. I think they were afraid we would ask for a manager or something, but we laughed it off. They were a couple of pretty cool high school seniors. We talked to them for like fifteen minutes, and they asked us a bunch of questions about college life.

A lot of their questions were about KU specifically. It was where they wanted to go next year. And this was the kicker. Word has reached their ears about this mysterious and elite fraternity called The Brotherhood. They were all excited about it and were determined to stick out above the rest for the chance of getting tapped by the mysterious hand of The Brotherhood.

“Do you guys know much about them?” one kid asked.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you going to tell them?”

“Tell us what?”

“No, I think I’ll leave it as a surprise.”

We said our goodbyes and left them confused. It was awesome. Our antics in the store made me think of something that crossed my mind.

“Hey, riddle me this. Let’s say I become a Brother and all that good stuff. How long do we keep this on the DL before we start letting others know? I think it would be problematic if I became a Brother and suddenly, two weeks later, we’re dating. People are going to ask questions.”

“Yeah, that would be a problem if the guys didn’t already know.”

“See what I’m saying? How do you think we should go about….” I stopped dead in my tracks. “Wait a minute? Did you just say what I think you said?”

“Yes,” he answered and pulled me along.

“You mean to tell me they’ve all known all this time?”

He nodded.

“Since when exactly?”

“I spoke with the guys when I started having feelings for you. You have to understand this isn’t ordinary. Within The Brotherhood, a special bond forms between Big and Little that last forever. In some instances, that bond grows into something much stronger, and here we are. We don’t frown about it at all.”

“But your position within The Brotherhood. All the stuff you told me about the guy out on the west coast who did what we’re doing right now, and he got booted. Was that all part of the test too?”

“Yes and no. We changed the story a little to plant the seed in your mind for the final trial. The fact that he fell in love with his Little was never the problem. He did use his position and power to make it easier on his Little because he couldn’t stand the thought of watching him go thru the trials required to prove himself. That was the problem.”

“And you never did that for me?”

“Never. I told you, Jacob, you had my full confidence from the beginning. I didn’t need to look out for you in that way.”

“I.., uh…shit.” I didn’t know what to say.

“I was hoping you’d be relieved, not upset.”

“I’m not upset…I don’t think,” I laughed. We walked by a bench, and I had to take a seat. “I’m relieved, trust me. I’m like a mixed bag of emotions right now. I know this is a good thing, but I was afraid our relationship would get you in trouble all this time.”

“I know, Jacob.” He sat next to me and rubbed my back. “That was part of the test. You had to believe it with all your heart to make those hard decisions. In the end, you came out on top.”

“I guess I should’ve known.”

“Why is that?”

“Because of your unyielding love and loyalty to The Brotherhood. I should’ve known you wouldn’t go behind their back like this.” I turned to face him finally. “Damn, you guys are good at this.”

He smiled. “We have to be. Only the best of the best can be allowed into The Brotherhood.” Q took my hand in his. “I promise you this crazy ride will be worth it. Once you’re truly on the inside, everything will be clear to you, and you’ll know why it’s so important we take such precautions. A world you can’t even imagine awaits you. I’d love to be by your side as you enter it. I hope you’ll grant me that honor.”

He was so sweet and genuine. “I wouldn’t have any other way.”

Q kissed my hand and pulled me to my feet. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

“Everyone just accepts our relationship just like that? No questions asked?”

“Well, no,” he snickered. “Nothing is ever that simple. I’ll have to go before the Council of Brothers for an evaluation. They must ensure every decision I made concerning you and the pledge class was completely unbiased; that my feelings towards you didn’t influence me.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he shrugged. “The thought of giving you special treatment never crossed my mind.”

“But that’s just it. How can they judge your every feeling and thought behind your decisions? And that’s what you’re talking about, right?”

“I know.”

“But that’s impossible.”

“Not for us.”

“Is this one of those things I’m not going to be privy to until after I’m a Brother?”

“You guessed it.”

“Sweet,” I said sarcastically.

“Wait, a second. What about the time you saved me from getting ass fucked with a dildo?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

Q couldn’t contain his laughter either. “I didn’t do that for you, Jacob, believe it not. I did it because we needed to get the trials done, and I didn’t want to waste any time with nonsense.”

Narrowing my eyes, I leaned into Q. “Are you telling me if that trial weren’t scheduled, you would’ve let them…” My words trailed off just thinking of what could have been.

Q’s mischievous grin was all the answer I needed.

The food court gave the best view of the ocean because the entire section was built inside a glass cube. Q wanted to take me to some fancy restaurant, but all I wanted was a burger and fries. We went to the burger hut on the third floor and sat by the window. Q excused himself for a few minutes and returned with a green apple.

“Is that all you ever eat?”

He didn’t answer me. He just shrugged and took a bite out of his apple. I ate my meal in relative silence, enjoying the view and pondering some of the things I had learned that day. Q watched me closely, reading my every expression and movement.

“Are you comfortable with all this?”

“Yes, I am,” I insisted. “It’s just a lot to process at one time. I don’t know.”

He smiled. “You’re wondering if my feelings for you are real or another part of the test, aren’t you?”

“The thought did cross my mind.” I paused for a moment. “Only for a second.”

“Jacob, I really do…. “

“Don’t,” I interrupted and reached for his hand. “You don’t have to justify anything, and you don’t have to explain anymore. I get it. Honestly, I do. And it was only for a second.”

I wouldn’t say I liked some things he did, but I understood that was the job. Every pledge before and after me will endure the same thing. It was a little different for us because I fell for him, which elevated us to a different level. But in the end, he cared for me like a boyfriend when it mattered and guided me as my Big through this process. I couldn’t ask for anything more. It was the best of two worlds.

We were going back and forth when I interrupted him again midsentence. “I swear we’re being stalked,” I joked.

“What?”

“I’m just saying…it seems everywhere we go, the ‘men-in-black’ are with us.”

“What are you talking about? What men?”

I nodded in their direction, and Q turned to look.

“Maybe I’m just reading too much into things. Who knows, maybe they’re….”

Q looked back at me with a look that drained the warmth from my face. “We have to go.” Q was on his feet and by my side before I could formulate a response. “Now, Jacob.”

“What’s wrong?” I got up and tried to get our bags, but he grabbed me by the arm and rushed me along. He told me to leave the bags and keep moving. “Can you tell me what’s going on?” I looked over my shoulder, and those two guys in black were getting out of their seats to follow us.

“Not now. I need to get you somewhere safe.”

What started as a power walk turned into a full-blown marathon with us running across the mall like our lives depended on it. I don’t know what bugged me the most; the fact that Q kept me in the dark or that Q was running from something. But something told me he wouldn’t be running if it wasn’t because I was with him. I didn’t even want to know what the people around us were thinking. They probably thought we were strung out on meth or something.

Q must have felt we were too exposed because he kicked open a door labeled “Employees Only,” and we headed into a maze of corridors.

I finally had enough and yanked free from his hold. “Q, what the fuck is going on?” I demanded. I rested my arm against the vending machine to catch my breath.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, placing his hands on my waist.

“Of course I do, but that doesn’t…. “

“Then trust me now.” He looked around for what I couldn’t tell you. He pulled me into an employee break room and told me not to come out until he came for me. There was a desperation in his eyes that scared the hell out of me.

“You’re freaking me out right now.” I went up to Q and held him close. “Can you tell me what’s going on, please?”

“Those guys were following me. I can deal with them, but they might try to go thru you to hurt me.” He kissed me suddenly. “I will not let that happen. Stay here.”

“Q, wait!”

It was too late. He was already out the door. The breakroom had a nice-sized window that let me see everything that was going on in the hallway. Q stood by the vending machine just as the doors at the other end of the hall burst open. The two guys in black walked in very slowly, weaving in and out of each other like two hunters approaching their prey. I wasn’t going to let this go down like that. If this was going to be a fight, it would be two on two.

I tried to leave the room with no luck. I don’t know what Q did to the door, but I was locked in and pissed. Kicking the door, I went back to the window and slammed my palm against the glass. All three of them ignored me.

The two guys stopped about twenty feet from Q. They all just stood there staring each other down. My heart was racing so fast that I thought it would explode out of my chest. I felt so helpless I punched the glass again.

Then I thought we caught a break because a cop walked in behind Q. I was so relieved. He got on his radio, said something about finding them, and started barking orders. This was not some rent-a-cop mall jackoff. This was the real deal.

“What are you guys doing up here? This is a restricted area.”

They ignored his ass. I wanted Q to step aside and let him handle things. Since they weren’t responding to his orders, the cop drew his gun and told them to get on their knees and put their hands on their heads. He was yelling it. He moved closer to Q with this gun pointed right at his head.

“Get down on your knees now!”

In one quick motion, Q spun around, took the gun out of the cop’s hand, and sent him flying down the hall with a single blow to the chest. The guy in the trench coat saw his chance and went for Q.

“Q, watch out!” I yelled.

Without missing a beat, Q turned back to grab the vending machine and threw it at the trench coat like he was throwing a softball.

I was stunned, speechless, and freaked the fuck out!

I don’t know what the right word was to use to describe that moment for me. I’m telling you, the vending machine traveled the entire length of the hall and then some with trench coat pinned behind it. It slammed thru the doors and into the wall so hard it shook the area.

Unsure of what to do, I backed away from the window, mumbling “oh my god” repeatedly. I’m shocked I didn’t piss my pants!

The second kid got a hold of Q and threw him against the wall. The wall cracked and crumbled under extreme force. The guy went to grab him again, but Q was able to get a hold of him by the neck and threw his ass thru the breakroom window and took out half the wall. The guy landed just a few feet away from me. He shook it off and got right back up like it was nothing.

“Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!” That was me yelling like a bitch mind you.

The guy got up only to catch Q’s knee to the stomach and an uppercut to the face. He took a swing at Q, but he deflected it, turned the dude around, and kicked his ass right out the window. And I’m talking about the kind of window where there is nothing but air on the other side.

Q looked out the window for a moment before turning his attention to me. “Jacob…”

I backed away from him and held my hands out.

“Jacob, please.” He took a few steps toward me, and I backed away again. Before he could say anything else, trench coat came out of nowhere and tackled Q thru yet another wall into the open air.

I stood by the gaping hole and watched as they physically crashed thru all three levels of the parking garage below. Then I went into flight mode and took off like a bat out of hell. I don’t remember how I got back to the car, but I jumped in that bad boy and drove like my new name was ‘Lead Foot.’

I weaved in and out of traffic and honked like a mad man. After about a mile, I saw traffic was coming to a stop because of some bullshit accident and drove off the road into the woods on some dirt road. I had no idea where I was going; I wasn’t planning on stopping.

I drove over so many holes and thru so much shit, I’m surprised the truck didn’t fall apart on me. The road ended, and I crashed through thick brush and came into a clearing.

The view was beautiful. I could see the mall and the dark waters of the ocean from there. The only snag was I was coming up on a cliff at about 80mph. I slammed on the breaks and pulled on the e-break, which was dumb because it caused the truck to spin out of control. The SUV finally stopped with both rear tires hanging off the side of the cliff.

The beat of my heart drowned out everything else. I looked into the rearview mirror, and all I saw was dark water. Slowly and carefully, I opened the door, stepped out of the SUV, and backed away slowly. When I saw how the truck was sitting on the cliff, my legs buckled, and I dropped to my knees. Thirty seconds later, I threw up my burger. It took me a few minutes to compose myself and catch my breath.

“Thank you, God,” I whispered and counted my blessings. Just as I managed to get back on my feet, the SUV slid back and off the cliff.

Great!

And then came the loud crash at the bottom.

Just great!

I walked over to the edge and stared out at the ocean. “I can’t believe this is happening to me. Why me?” Suddenly Lady White didn’t seem so crazy anymore, and her words started making more sense as I tried to comprehend everything that had just happened. “This can’t be fucking happening.”

After about five or ten minutes, I managed to calm myself down. Not to say that I still wasn’t freaked, but I was doing better. I don’t know how or why, but I knew I wasn’t alone right then. I knew he was there without laying eyes on him. Considering everything I had just gone thru, I couldn’t believe I smiled. He still had that effect on me.

“Jacob,” Q called.

“I don’t even know what to say.”

That’s all we said for a long time. For a while, I was content with hearing the waves crashing against the shore and the cool breeze on my face. But in the end, I wanted answers. I needed answers. Fuck it! I deserved some answers.

I turned to face him, and he was still my Q, looking back at me with his deep, loving eyes and a face that yearned to be understood.

“What are you?”

He stepped toward me, and I immediately put my hand out to stop him. I think I felt his heart break at that moment; I saw it on his face.

“What are you?” Remembering the SUV took a nosedive off the cliff, I looked over my shoulder as if it would magically be there, then returned my attention to Q. "How the hell did you even get here?"

I asked him again. “All the things I’ve seen and heard are true, aren’t they?” Remembering what I was wearing underneath the shirt I borrowed from Q, I took off the red t-shirt and revealed Q’s green shirt with the three bullet holes. That’s what I brought with me from my room. I wanted to find the balls to ask him about it and believe me, I finally found them. “This actually happened, didn’t it?” I stuck my fingers thru the hole.

“I can tell you what I am and hope you’ll understand,” he said softly. “Or I can you show you the truth and remove all doubt.”

“Show me.” I was so nervous my knees were shaking, and my stomach was spinning. Not that you could tell by looking at me because I did a hell of a job holding it together. At least, I like to believe so.

He moved closer, but I didn’t try to stop him this time. He was about ten feet away from me when he took off his shirt and allowed it to be carried away by the wind. Extending his arms to the sides, I watched in awe as he slowly ascended into the air.

“Fuck me…”

His left leg was perfectly straight, while his right was bent slightly at the knee. He looked heavenly, but that was nothing compared to what was coming. After hovering some twenty feet above the ground for a few moments, it happened.

He was incredible, a beauty beyond any imagining. The light, so deep and magnificent, radiated from him like a beacon.

My God! If you could have seen the light...