Author’s Note: I hope that you enjoy reading this book as much as I enjoyed writing it. Villain Tries Farming is a bizarre litrpg tale with a blood phobic main character— inspired in part by the uneasiness that creeps up my own spine when I see blood.

Recently, I have become very fascinated with Reality, and this interest has seeped into my writing. The character Pook is intended to be a metaphor to reality. I hope you like him, and all the other characters and the world that I have created.

Chapter 1: Prologue

I was stretched on the bed, observing my girlfriend Kiara sitting in front of the mirror, scrutinizing her reflection. After recently receiving a new spell that let her alter her looks, Kiara had developed an obsession.

“Don’t you like this, Vicky?” Kiara said as she turned towards me, a mischievous smile tugging at her lips that were twice as plump as usual. Though I thought she looked hotter now, a part of me wanted her to retain her former appearance.

“Nope,” I said. “Just stay as you were before.”

Kiara grimaced at me and turned back towards the mirror.

“What’s wrong with my lips?” she asked. “They look better now.”

“They were perfect before,” I told her. “You can’t better purrfect.”

“I don’t see any point in looking the same my entire life,” she said. “It’s important to try new looks.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” I assured her. “You wouldn’t have to look the same your entire life. There is this thing called ageing.”

We were in a game world, but surely that didn’t mean that we would escape aging, did it? I reckoned a few years of prolonged stay in the game world would reveal that to us. Kiara snorted at my remark and resumed playing with her looks, this time making her eyebrows thicker.

I closed my eyes, admiring the softness of the bed; the velvety mattress was a pleasure to touch. Nora and Nadir had really made the best bed in existence. It felt like sleeping on a cloud.

I did not want to admit it, but the truth was that I was enjoying being king of the Eviluns. Especially now when things were going smoothly. My farms, as well as the ‘Amusement Park’ engineered in large by Kiara, were bringing in plenty of Evilese.

I thought of what my life had been a year ago, and all the changes that had taken place in such a short span of time. I had hordes of loyal Eviluns serving me, ready to lay down their lives at my command.

Kiara turned at me. She had fused her eyebrows to form a bushy unibrow.

“You look like there is a hairy caterpillar on your forehead,” I told her.

Kiara sighed. She snapped her fingers and immediately her looks changed to original. Kiara was a girl of average height. She had a brown complexion, jet black hair and large beautiful eyes. She was a slim girl. Though I liked her figure, I wished occasionally if she was curvier.

Apparently Kiara noticed me looking at her body, and she let out an annoyed cough.

“What?” I asked. “Just admiring you, girl,” I told her. I gestured at her with one finger to come closer to me.

“You want me to look different, don’t you?” she said.

“Different?” I said, “What for?”

Kiara pursed her lips, looking at me intently, as though trying to decipher some complex code written on my face. Her frown relaxed and she smiled as if she had solved the puzzle.

“So that’s what you want, eh?” she cooed. “Too shy to tell me?”

Kiara snapped her fingers and I watched with newfound attention as certain parts of her body swelled in size.

“Um, you can stop that,” I told her, cringing. Kiara’s bumps had enlarged drastically to the point that she was beginning to look weird, like someone with over-the-top silicone implants. “Just stay normal.”

Kiara adjusted her size again and this time she was simply perfect. I couldn’t take my eyes off the supermodel in front of me.

“Now, what are you waiting for?” I asked her. “Come near!”

Kiara came closer to the bed playfully taking one slow step after another with her hands behind her back, enjoying my impatience. When she was near enough, I grabbed her forarm and pulled her on top of me. I looked into her large eyes, caressing the side of her face. I ran my fingers along her collarbone onto her shoulder.

Someone rapped the door.

“Should they come now?” I asked Kiara, grimacing with rising disappointment. She threw back her curls and shook her head, pitying me. “I am their king after all. They can’t disturb me whenever they want to!”

More knocks.

Irked, I pushed Kiara’s weight to the side and strode to the door. I tugged the brass handle.

“What’s the problem—?”

Non-existent ears received my words.

I looked along the length of the abandoned whitewashed hallway. Where were my soldiers? Unusual crimson next to a pillar commanded my attention. My feet shuffled forwards, my heart beat escalating.

A horrified gasp escaped my lips. Behind the pillar three dead monsters were piled on top of one another. Their glazed eyes stared at me. Their blood formed a slowly expanding pool on the floor.

Just then a shrill cry rang in the air. It was Kiara. I shouldn’t have left her alone!

I dashed back to my chamber, but found it deserted.

“Kiara?” I said, my ears longing to hear her lovely voice, but only silence answered me. Then from the corner of my eyes I spotted a small white card on the bed.

With a tremble in my fingers I picked it up.

Cease all your activities. Otherwise your lady love will suffer

—Players

A smiley face was sketched on the back. I crumbled the note in my hand as a rage unlike any engulfed me. How dare they?

I had tried every peaceful means to deal with the players. This time they had crossed the line. Each one of them would suffer.

***