That's Why He Doesn't Want Me

I nod at her then walk to one of the cubicle in the female's restroom.

I lift off my skirt and pull down my underwear to my knees then sit on the toilet bowl.

While I'm unloading the liquid in my urinary bladder, I stare at a certain dust or perhaps a stain on the tile wall. It looks like the silhouette of Mark.

I'm just probably wrong. I'm being too rash. I'm being emotional again. I'm letting my emotions take control of me again.

I'm not unworthy. I'm not unwanted.

Right, Mark?

I pull out my phone. Opening the mobile data, I quickly open my FB account.

His avatar has a green status on it. Mark is online.

I click on it.

I will wait for him to apologize. I will wait for him to tell me the truth. He was with her because of ulterior motives.

That's all.

I'm not unworthy. You're wrong mother. I'll prove it to you.

Wait.. just wait. I was too rash. I wasn't clear headed.

There's no way Mark will not want me.

「Goodnight ❤️❤️❤️」

I stare at my last message to him. I sent it last night.

Hurry up and message me. I'm waiting.

I'll believe you no matter what.

Five minutes passed. But there's still no message.

What's wrong?

N-No. It's fine. He's just probably typing a long message.

But why there's no indicator of it.

It's just an error. A glitch!

It's fine. He'll message me.

Several more minutes passed.

W-Why? Why are you taking so long? J-J-Just a sentence is fine!

I wipe my eyes because it became blurry to look at the screen.

But when I did, his green status went gray.

“!!”

He's offline.

N-No. That's not right.

Another glitch.

Hey Mark. Please send me a message. Please…

The phone shakes and that's perhaps why I'm trembling as well.

He will surely message me.

I'm sure he still wants me. Even though that girl is back, I'm still better than her. He still want me—

“Pfft—!”

I hold my laughter back but I can't stop the tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

Why...?

Why?

I don't really understand Mark. At least tell me why. I'm willing to change and become better.

I can surpass her.

I'm better than her.

So why?

“It's because you're weak!”

I'm strong. I've gotten stronger!

“You're ugly!”

No I'm not mom! I spend so much time taking care of myself. I'm no longer ugly. I am better.

“You're stupid!”

I am not! I've been studying seriously for the past years. I am not.

So I'm sure Mark still wanted me.

“You are annoying!”

I.... I am not...

“YOU'RE disgusting!”

I'm not! That's not true! That's not why Mark doesn't want me anymore!

“SHUT UP TRASH! HE DOESN'T WANT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE UNWORTHY!! HE LEFT BECAUSE OF YOU!”

That's not true… Mark... He... He's still here. He won't leave.

He still want me! So he won't leave!

....yet.

“Sniff...”

Am I... wrong....?

Beauty, combat strength, and reliability— He praised me once for those aspects.

Since he praised me, I was happy. Because I know I've gotten better.

But am I wrong?

I mean... Why would he still choose me over that bitch?

Beauty, combat strength, and reliability— Our SSG president has all of those aspects as well.

In fact, she's far more beautiful and reliable. I never saw her fight so I don't know anything about her combat strength. But she's better than me. She's more talented than I do. And most of her abilities are useful for Mark.

And even without her, Rose is still there as well. She's beautiful and powerful. She might lack experience in terms of fighting but her present combat skills are already admirable.

Her family is wealthy too. She have wealth that Mark could use to help him to his goal.

Even Mark's family itself and he himself is wealthy.

But Mae... That bitch...

She got nothing going on with her except her aesthetic value. It just so happen she luckily met Mark when he was still immature and impressionable which made him easily fall for her.

If it's with the present him where it's even hard to stimulate him, she perhaps wouldn't even catch his eyes.

I don't know what made Mark notice her which started their story but..... she was just merely lucky! That's all there is to it.

So why would you still choose her over me?

Am I actually worse?

Did you only think I'm better and praised me because she wasn't here before?

Is that why you don't want me anymore?

“Sniff... Sniff.. hic...”

*...ock*..nock*..Knock*

“Sniff!”

*...Knock..!*Knock!*Knock!*

“Hic!”

*KNOCK!*KNOCK!*KNOCK!*

“Elizabeth?! Are you okay?! Are you still alive?!”

Ah. That's right. I'm still in the restroom.

I take a toilet paper and clean myself with it.

After flushing it down the toilet, and washing my hands, I open the door.

I saw Mary and Rose in front of the door with worried expression plastered on their faces.

“Hey! Why did you just come out?! Why weren't you responding to me earlier?!”

“Eliza-san are you okay? Your eyes are bloodshot. Did you cry in there? You can talk to us you know?”

“No. I was just thinking of something. Please don't worry about it.”

“Uh... Err, okay.”

“Ah! Wait! I think I need to pee as well. God. You forced me to eat earlier and even made me wait for long. Now, I also feel the urge.”

“Go ahead. We will wait.”

“Yes. We will wait here Rose-chan.”

“Of course you would! It's given.”

Rose walk into the cubicle shutting the door close.

“Eliza-san, are you really alright?”

Given with her extroverted personality, it's no surprise that Mary wouldn't be able to endure this silence so she'll naturally initiate a conversation.

“Thank you for asking but I am really fine.”

“I see.... Err. Anyway, just don't forget you have friends with you. So please don't think you have no one to talk to.”

After a moment of silence, a question pops in my mind.

“I have a question.”

“Ah! Yes?!”

She for some reason jerkily turn all her focus to me with a bright glimmering eyes.

“Do you like Mark?”

“Eh? Huh? Uh... Err. I do like Mark. He's kind and reliable after all. B-But it isn't what you think okay?! I don't plan to take him away from you. And remember that I also have a boyfriend whom I am loyal for!”

“So would you like to be together with him once again?”

“But I just said I don't plan to ta—”

“Please answer.”

“Uh... Yes!”

“I see...”

“Wait don't misunderstand! I just said ‘Yes’ to say I'll answer your question. Geez, it's because you stares at me like that and speaks so seriously that it puts pressure on me.”

“What's your answer then?”

“Ehh.. Well.. um... I don't think so.”

“Oh. Why do you not want him?”

“It's not like I don't want him... It's just that I think we aren't meant for each other.”

“Why do you say that?”

“No... Uh... I don't really know. I just feel like it. Perhaps because I once betrayed him.. err...”

“So you wouldn't want to be with him despite liking him.”

“No. I mean, I like him. But it's not the ‘romantic’ type of affection.”

“........”

“And I think I already found my own man hehehe.”

“Renz?”

“Yes.”

Is that why you don't want Mark..?

“Although he enjoys mobile and online gaming way too much that sometimes he ends up neglecting me.”

So he is an addict.

“But he is sweet, loving, caring and sincerely loves me you know.”

“I see.”

So in the end... it's because you found somebody better. That's why you don't want Mark anymore.

That's why he doesn't want me anymore...

I bite my lips because I don't want to cry again.

*Bam!*

“Pwehhh~!”

Rose explosively push the door open and immediately rushes out with disgusted expression.

“What's wrong Rose-chan?! Are you okay?”

“I'm fine but uh...! Damn Elizabeth! Was that used napkin yours?! Is that why you took so long earlier?!”

“I am not in my period phase.”

“Then is it yours Mary?!”

“Ehhh~?! No way Rose-chan! That's harsh. I haven't even used the toilet of our school since yesterday.”

I look inside the cubicle and in the corner nearly behind the toilet bowl is a somewhat hidden bloody napkin sprawled open on the tile floor.

“Ah damn it! So disgusting! We should seriously implement a rule about this! Help me suggest this to the school!”

“That won't actually stop it. They won't completely obey it anyway. And it's not really possible to install a CCTV camera in the female's restroom to serve as deterrent and identification to know who broke the rule.”

“Aahhh~!!! Some girls really lacks manners! Humph! Let's leave. I'm extremely disgusted! Hmm... Where the hell is Mary?!”

“Wait Wait wait! Wait for me! I'm here!”

“Where did you go?!”

“I'm sorry Rose-chan. I just called a janitor to clean it up.”

“God! And now a guy is ought to clean it! This is humiliating.”

“Calm down Rose-chan. I understand what you feel.”

“Humph! Let's go we're seriously late.”