It's been 2 years since my parents left me, I have been diagnosed with server depression and hyper vigilance from the schools councillor, I was in another session right now, I had to visit her three times a week for an hour each session.

“I’m fine, except for the non-sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant overwhelming crushing fear that something terrible is about to happen because it always does”

“It called hyper vigilance Udon, the persistent feeling of being under threat”

“It’s not just a feeling though, I walk the corner and can’t breath when I see anyone, I am pushed and bumped for no reason, called names, murderer, sister killer. The teachers don’t care, saving a fat little kid is to much of an effort for them, all they have to do is show themselves, but they can’t even do that, they see me, they see me in the empty room getting bashed, and they just walk past, they don’t care”

“I doubt that is true Udon, it’s a teachers responsibility to look after any and every student at this school”

“It’s also the responsibility for the parents to look after their kid, and a big brother to look after his little sister. That word, responsibility, it’s just a word, it has no meaning in this day and age, responsibility is only convenient when the person can gain from the action, the only responsibility about a person is lying, the only truth about this world is lying.”

“That can’t be how you truly feel Udon, what about that one boy you are always hanging around with, Igarashi, last time we spoke you had made the effort to join in his sports club, you went to parties he invited you to and you hang out with him after school, what happened?”

“You can’t be serious, you are going to sit there and act like you had no idea what he was doing!? I told you I didn’t want any friends, I didn’t need anyone, all someone does to another person is hurt them, their real intentions are to bring pain, that is the real nature of a human, to bring pain to another. I trusted you, after everything that happened, I trusted you! And you betrayed me!”

“Calm down Udon, I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Don’t give me that shit! You’re all the same! Igarashi told me what you had him do! He said he couldn’t handle my sadness anymore, I didn’t complain to him, I tried to smile around him and he couldn’t handle me! He told me I bring down everyone around me, he said I should act happy for the sake of others, that I was being selfish. I thought I had made a friend, but it was all a lie! Another betrayal, that you set up! He told me he was only acting like my friend because the councillor said he’d get a boost in grades.”

“It was for your own good Udon, you need to open up more, you need to make some friends”

“Shut up! Will you shut up! You’re a despicable, manipulating bitch! Everyone is only in it for themselves! No one has any true friends, you sit there and act all high and mighty, the truth is, you are as lonely and broken as me, you just hide it better, you might not have been through what I have been through, but you know that no one loves you. All the students that come in here are all lost causes, no one loves them, you give them the fairy tale of hope and survival but its all a load of shit, the world isn’t a fairy tale, you help someone, you expect something in return, that’s the world we live in”

“Udon, if you walk out that door, this will be our last session”

“Ha, you just proved my point, I’m done, go get your fix on another student because I’m down with this therapy fantasy”

I slammed the door and walked off down the corridor.

“Well if it isn’t Udon, what is this fat lard doing in the corridor”

“I know Connor, he probably just finished his little baby session, I heard Igarashi had finally had enough of pretending to be his friend and told him the truth”

“Is that true, that’s hilarious, you can’t even have a fake friend”

Connor and Sion laughed, they had blocked my path forward, I know where this is going, they are going to beat me up, I’m in front of two classrooms, the teachers can see the boys laughing already and yet, they just continue their lesson

“Piss off”

I bumped the two boys with my shoulders and tried to walk past them

“What did you just say!”

“Don't touch us with your filthy murderous hands”

I touched you with my shoulder, not my hands idiot. Connor and Sion shoved me up against the lockers, the bang must have been loud enough for the teachers to at least see what the sound was.

“Don’t you get it Udon, no one cares what happens to you”

“We could kill you right here and no one would bat an eye, you are a waste of space in this school, why don’t you just jump off the roof already”

“Let me go!”

I tried to squirm out of their grip but it just resulted in them punching my gut

“Want another one”

“Uggh”

The air was knocked out of me, I was wheezing to get a single breath in, I had been beaten up on a regular basis, my body was consistently bruised and broken and it never hurt any less

“You piece of shit”

Connor shoved my head into the locker, while Sion kicked me as I fell

“We don’t want to see your fat ass in this school again!”

Connor and Sion gave me one last kick and walked off, I laid face first in the school corridor in pain, other students just walked past and the teachers didn’t even check if I was ok, this is the true nature of humans

“I hate them! I hate all of them! Humans are pure shit!”