“We should stay on the road now. If we are lucky, we might even get a lift on a cart passing by.” Kai looked in both directions of the road. There wasn’t a cart or traveller in sight.

They had been walking for an hour and still hadn’t seen a single wagon. Kit wasn’t holding out any hope of hitching a ride. A familiar sound caught Kit’s attention as he was thinking about wagons, he was starting to hear a continuous roar. The river must be up ahead. Kit got a little nervous at going near the water again. He didn’t know if he would have the same reaction as last time.

“Do you think we will need ear plugs for the sound of the water?”

Kit thought this might help him. If he couldn’t hear the water, maybe it wouldn’t cause him to feel like his emotions were being dragged down with the ragging current like last time.

“Are you sure you want to go exploring if you can’t handle a river. How will you handle a dangerous monster? Adventuring is for the strong, not the weak.” Kai gave Kit an intense stare.

“Kai, strength isn’t just about fighting dangerous monsters. You of all people should know about that, being an adventurer yourself.” Mars admonished the older male.

Kai glanced at Mars then at Kit, he then opened his mouth.

“The noise won’t be that bad, it will be loud but manageable. Once we are over the bridge it won’t be much further to Flower Field town.”

Kit stared at Kai and realised the other was trying to give him comforting words after his initial harsh sentence.

True to his word, once they rounded the corner of the road, Kit could finally see the town off in the distance. Unfortunately, he could also see a large bridge spanning a large river. Kit shivered at the thought of crossing that bridge. The feeling of dread from getting close to the river was starting to rise to the surface of his mind.

He didn’t know if it was the noise or the visual of the river that gave him a feeling of fear. All he knew was he wasn’t looking forward to this part of the journey. The closer they came, the more Kit felt unsettled. His legs were shaking from the effort to continue towards the river. He pushed through his anxiety. They couldn’t get to town without going over the bridge.

They soon arrived at the foot of the bridge. The noise was deafening. Kit had no idea how Kai could say it would be manageable. Kit gripped the sling around his neck tightly. He didn’t want Snowball to accidently fall out.

Kit glanced at the rest of the party to see if they had any misgivings about crossing the river. Kit was the only one that looked pale at the thought of crossing. Even Pint didn’t bat an eyelid at going over the bridge.

‘Have I developed a phobia about rivers, or is it something else?’

Kit glanced at the water below.

‘That was a mistake. Feisty fish! I really don’t want to do this. Look at that angry river.’

Kit could see large black fish swarming around the bridge. They looked like they were half rotten. The flesh of the fish had deteriorated in parts of their body. This left some inside parts of the fish exposed. Kit shuddered at the gruesome sight. He was glad he couldn’t smell the fish, he had a feeling they would have a very foul odour.

Kit couldn’t understand how the fish weren’t swept away in the turbulent current. Kit thought there really was nothing calm about the foaming depths. The jutting rocks looked larger and sharper than what he had previously seen. The speed of the water was like an angry stampede of animals devouring all in its path.

The bridge looked like it would fall apart at any moment. It was made from old rickety wood. There were gaps between some of the pillars of wood. He couldn’t understand how it could stand against the current.

‘The wood on the bridge must be sturdier than it appears. It looks like if I take a step, the bridge will collapse and wash away.’ Kit paled even further and was starting to feel nauseous.

Mars was giving Kit an assessing look. “Kit, you have turned a little pale. Are you scared of water? Or heights?”

“Is there another bridge anywhere? This one doesn’t look safe.” Kits voice wobbled as he spoke.

Kai glanced at Kit.

“The next bridge is another days walk away. Unfortunately, we don’t have the time spare to use it. I need to get you both into town. We were lucky last night, the adorable shrewd shifter didn’t attack us. We might not be so lucky tonight.”

Kit sighed, he was afraid that would be the answer. ‘Its fine it’s just one bridge. It’s stood for all these years, nothing will happen.’

Kit positively encouraged himself. Just as he had finished his self-encouragement a large tree branch was traveling down the river. It hit the bridge causing a loud groan from the wooden structure. The branch then smashed into one of the large rocks splintering apart. The wood pieces continued to collide with the rocks breaking down even further.

Kit was appalled at the river’s destructive force. If he fell in, he would be mincemeat. Kit shot a pleading look at Mars, he knew it would have no effect on Kai. Kai saw the look and stepped in between the two.

“Sorry lad, we are crossing here. I can guide you over if you don’t want to look. Your friend here was right earlier. Strength is not just about fighting, it’s also about overcoming your fears.”

Kit was a little jealous at the confidence in Kai’s deep voice. He wanted to feel that confident as well. ‘Right, I’m a superhero I have boundless courage. I’m Kit anything is possible, the unstoppable river crosser.’

Kit could still feel the dread at the thought of crossing the river. ‘Well, that pep talk didn’t work. I’ll just go with suck it up Kit.’

Kit took a deep breath. He felt his adrenalin spike and his hands start to sweat. This time there was no familiar feeling of anticipation, only dread. He felt a fine tremor starting in his hands. He felt weak. Kit took another breath and thought about the restaurant he wanted to build. He took a step onto the bridge.

Sweat started to collect on his forehead. He could feel all colour drain from his face. His mouth started to water, and he felt his nausea increase. Kit took another step, and another. Each step Kit took he focused on his restaurant and the meals he wanted to create. Kit faltered as he came to the middle of the bridge. He could feel all the negative emotions from the day his father died surge to the surface. Snippets from that day started to cross his vision.

He instantly lost the strength in his legs and fell. He collapsed onto the wooden planks. He could see the water churning as it passed by in between the flashes of memory. Kit was being sucked into the nightmare of his old memories.

The flashes increased until they returned him to the day after his father died. Kit started to relive the scene of him walking down the stairs.

Kit grabbed his chest. He felt a tightness grip his heart. He was unable to stop the flow of memories. Tears started to fall down his cheeks. The feeling of emptiness he tried to avoid started to creep up on him.

Kit felt himself slide into darkness. The darkness permeated his skin, sinking into his bones. A chill spread through his body making him feel like he would never be warm again. Kit pulled his legs to his chest in a vain attempt to keep warm. The ache in his chest intensified the more he was sucked into the nightmare.

Kit flinched as he relived a cup shattering against his face. He could feel the pain, taste the blood in his mouth and smell a metallic scent in the air. Kit felt like he was a puppet being pulled around on a string by an unseen force. He couldn’t pull himself away from the threads. They were wrapping around him tighter with each moment he relived.

It was like someone was whispering in his ears, he was weak, useless, he should never have been born. Kit knew in the back of his mind that he had worked hard to overcome his feelings of worthlessness. He also knew that the thoughts still lurked in his mind ready to surface when he had weak moments.

Snowball was whining next to his ear. Kit couldn’t hear through the torment he was reliving. Kit leaned forward and started to vomit. He could feel himself starting to give into that empty feeling that would take all the pain away. Mars rushed over to his side.

- 5 damage

- 5 damage

- 5 damage

Kit started to lose health. He couldn’t grasp what was happening to him at this point.

“Kit are you alright? What happened?” Kit couldn’t process what Mars was saying, he was too lost in his despair.

Snowball bit his wrist. Kit jerked at the contact. He was snaped out of his memories. It didn’t last long, he could feel himself being swept away again. Snowball bit him once more. This time he also tugged on the bracelet on Kit’s arm. Kit focused as hard as he could on the bracelet, his sister had told him she had it blessed. He prayed it would provide a miracle now.

He desperately wanted to get away from these memory’s before it was too late. His moment of lucidity gave him a little strength to push his desperation towards the bracelet in the hope that Kat’s bracelet would give him a way out.

The bracelet to Kit surprise started to glow. The glow spread and started to creep up Kit’s arm. Soon it engulfed his whole body. It pulsed with light. Kit felt a strange sensation accompanying the pulse of light. Kit looked down at his body.

Kit was instantly pulled from all the bad memories that had surged forth. Instead he was horrified at what he was seeing.

“Popping pumpkins! How did this even happen?”

Kit looked down at his body. Kit was wearing a bright pink dress. It was tight across his chest and flared out at his hips. Kit was very familiar with this dress. It was from the same female character Kat was currently obsessed with in her manga’s.

Kit felt his neck and realised he was also wearing a choker necklace. Kit had a strange feeling this was not the end of this ‘Katastophe’. He reached up to his hair and felt two pigtails on top of his head. He pulled a piece of the hair in front of his face. Bright pink strands fell through his fingers. He had a feeling that the bracelet Kat had given him was the culprit in his change of attire.

“Fuck you Kat! I’m going to kill you when I see you next.” Kit’s eyes went wide at the sound of his voice. He was too surprised at his change in attire earlier to realise his voice had also changed as well. A sweet Lolli voice had replaced his normal sound.

Behind him Kit could hear a loud intake of breath.

“Ahhh, Kit what is that! Ahaha, fuck me that’s the best thing I have ever seen. I WILL NEVER LET YOU FORGET THIS.”

Mars burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Next to him Kai was doing the same, though Kai was trying to control his laughter. Kit sighed, right now he couldn’t blame them. Kit glanced down to his body once again, the sight caused him to shudder for a completely different reason than his previous swirling emotions. He really was going to kill Kat when he got out of the game.

After Kit’s initial shock at his change in clothing and voice. He realised he no longer felt the pull of his emotions from the river. He didn’t know how long this reprieve would last. His desperation to get away from the river pushed him to shakily climb to his feet.

On wobbly legs he started to hurry over the bridge in case those feelings came back. He was thankful that high heels were not part of this transformation.

Right now, he didn’t even care that he was wearing a bright pink dress. He just wanted to be across the bridge. He would deal with the dress once he was off the rickety bridge. Kit finally made it to the end, he didn’t stop. He wanted to put a safe distance between himself and the river.

His felt like he was going to collapse from exhaustion. He stumbled a couple of times, the fear drove him forward. The feelings that had emerged still lingered in his mind. Once the noise from the river was bearable, Kit stopped under a tree to wait for the other two to catch up. Snowball popped his head out of the sling and gave a soft yip.

“I’m ok now Snowball. Thank you very much for bringing me out of a bad place.” Kit frowned at the sound of his voice. He really hoped this wasn’t a permanent development.

Kit pulled out a piece of Apelop meat for Snowball. He felt the little guy deserved a treat. He placed the meat on the ground then released Snowball from the sling. Snowball instantly pounced on the meat.

Kit was still a little shaky from his earlier experience. Now that his panic was under control, he focused on the horrible pink dress he was still wearing.

“How the black berries do I get this dress to disappear? Also, this voice is a little creepy coming out of my mouth.”

Kit didn’t know how Kat had managed to make the dress appear on himself or change his voice. Even though he was highly embarrassed at Mars and Kai seeing him in this outfit. He was glad the dress had given him enough of a shock to pull him out of those terrifying memories.

He would never admit this to anyone, but he would prefer to wear this dress anytime over reliving the memories of that time. The voice though was another story. While Kit was waiting, he decided to do some breathing exercises to calm himself down. He would deal with getting the dress off after he had calmed.

Kit closed his eyes and concentrated on his breaths. He focused on positive thoughts and his dream in CAL. After a while he could feel himself return to normal. He felt a warm sensation wash over his body. When he opened his eyes, he realised his clothes had returned to his normal attire.

He opened his mouth to see if his voice had returned to normal as well.

“Kat seriously we are going to have a talk when I get out.”

Kit let out a sigh of relief when his voice rang with familiar tones. Kit was thankful he didn’t have to figure out how to make the dress disappear. Kit looked down the road and could see two figures approaching in the distance. He was starting to feel the embarrassment of what happened creep in.

Kit blushed. How was he going to face these two after vomiting everywhere, then appearing in a pink dress. Kit tried to mentally prepare himself to become the centre of some jokes. His mind was still fragile right now. He didn’t know if he could withstand being laughed at.

He was starting to think it was a bad idea to play with other people. Maybe he wasn’t ready to have friends yet. He couldn’t deal with having all his most raw moments being exposed to other people. The last time he had a breakdown in front of people the whispers had started.

People avoided him like he had a contagious disease. They spread rumours about him being bad luck. Some people were even bold enough to come to him directly to tell him he was a waste and should go back to the mental hospital. Others stared at him with sympathy but would not approach him.

Kit sat and started to pat Snowball while he waited for the two. He would get this over with. After they left, he could fall apart, then continue by himself. He knew people hated being associated with him after he one of these moments. People became uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say to him. They found it easier to lash out or ignore him instead.

This was why he had avoided having a friend for a long time. As much as he had missed having company. It wasn’t worth feeling like crap. His agitation grew as the two finally arrived.

To his surprise when the two joined him they had an apologetic look on their faces. It wasn’t the look of ridicule he was expecting.

“I’m sorry Kit I shouldn’t have laughed. You were in a bad way, and I didn’t even help. I was just surprised over your sudden transformation. I am a bad friend.” Mars bowed his head and started to fidget.

“Next time I promise not to laugh. If changing clothes helps you to recover. I will help pick out some outfits. I will even wear some if it helps.” Mars stared at Kit waiting for his reply. Kit was a little shocked by his response.

This was the first time he had received an apology from someone after he’d had a melt down. He was used to being avoided like the plague. Mars didn’t even try to brush his mistake off or turn it around into being Kit’s fault.

Kit felt a little teary. Even though he was happy Mars had apologised. He couldn’t quite forgive him yet. Kit had an evil thought sweep through his head at hearing Mars would wear a dress too.

“Thank you, Mars. It would help me if you wore a dress too.”

Kit ducked his head. He didn’t want to get called out on his lie. He currently had no control over how the dress worked. If he was going to be randomly embarrassed, he was going to drag Mars into it too. That way there was no way Mars could make him the centre of a joke.

He didn’t know if Mars would always be supportive of him. So having him as a part of the mess Kat had given him was definitely a better plan than waiting for him to turn against him like his other friends had. As he thought about his plan, he realised Mars had probably just said he would wear a dress as a token gesture. Kit waited for him to refuse his request.

Instead of the response he thought Mars would give. He was surprised.

“Ok I’ll buy a nice dress to match yours.”

He had thought Mars was saying that to be supportive. Though he should have realised with Mars personality he would do anything for a friend.

“I am sorry too Kit. I forgot that there are death fish in the river. I’m guessing you lost someone close to you.”

“I have. What are death fish?” Kit didn’t want to bring up his father after only just regaining his calm. He didn’t elaborate about what he had just experienced.

“Their real name is corpse fish. Though they are commonly known as death fish. They make a person relive the memories of losing a close loved one. They feed on grief and feelings of despair. They pull your memories to the time the person died. The more traumatic the experience for the person. The harder it is for them to shake the control the death fish have over your mind.”

“Once they have a person trapped in their living nightmare. They will pull the life force from a person’s body. You wouldn’t even be aware that you are dying.”

Kit was a little happier learning that his breakdown was due to a fish. He didn’t want to develop a phobia about crossing rivers. CAL had rivers of all sizes he would need to cross on the Fornax continent in the future.

He hoped there was a way to counter the fish. He didn’t want to have to resort to dressing in women’s clothing to cross each bridge he came across.

“Kai, can I do anything to stop or lesson the effects of the death fish?”

Kai gave him an apologetic look. Kit instantly knew the answer.

“No nothing has been found to be effective yet. If you don’t stop, they won’t be able to consume your life force. The most common way to counter the fish is to ride across the bridge. It won’t stop the memories from surfacing, just stop you from dying. Next time you cross you might want to ride Pint.”

“Well at least I have a plan for the death fish from now on. I’ll have to work at building a bond with Pint so he will let me ride him.” Kit glanced at the huge horse. He was going to bribe the horse with alcohol. Hopefully that would work.

“Kit, are you ok to continue on to Flower Field town?” Mars still held a bit of worry in his voice.

“I’m ok now Mars. I’m thankful my emotional spiral was due to a fish. At least now we will know what to do.”

“Kit, you did well to face your fears. Mars told me this happened last time you went close to the river as well. I’m surprised you had the courage to step foot on the bridge. Even the strongest man will falter when faced with traumatic memories.” Kai bowed his head at Kit.

Kit felt the respect the gesture intended. A little warm feeling lodged inside his chest, this game really was what he needed. He didn’t realise friends could be so supportive. His experience so far in life had taught him not to trust anyone except Kat. He was feeling a little uncomfortable at being comforted.

He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it didn’t happen, he was at a loss. Having friends that didn’t ridicule him was a new experience. Kit thought having friends that supported him even in his lowest moments was a nice feeling. Kit was still a little sceptical it would last. He decided he would continue with this friendship thing, like he had promised Kat.

Hopefully it wouldn’t end in disappointment. He picked himself up off the ground, patted the dirt off himself and was ready to continue the journey with his new friends. The distraction would help keep his thoughts from drifting back to that horrible time.

“I don’t know if I could have done what you just did. Sometimes my emotions still get the best of me. You really are brave Kit.” Mars had an admiring look on his face.

‘This is the first time I have been admired like this. I don’t know if it’s deserved. I still vomited everywhere at one point. I only got to the end thanks to that bracelet.’ Kit gave a little grimace after that thought.

“Well let’s continue shall we. I’m looking forward to seeing another town.” Kit really couldn’t wait to experience a new place.

The trio turned towards Flower Field town. Kit could focus on the town ahead now the river was behind him. The noise was a manageable level like Kai said. Kit found it amazing how things looked different after the emotional turmoil was over. He had his emotions under control and could look forward to continuing the journey instead of dreading what was to come.