Marlow had barely reached the exit of the offshoot cave when she overheard a new conversation start up behind her.

“How long do you plan on dragging this out, Nix?”

Marlow knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but Delthor’s comment and tone were just a little ominous and Marlow couldn’t help herself.

“What do you mean?”

“I know what you are doing and it needs to stop. Nix, you cannot keep doing this to her, it is not fair.”

“I know,” Nix sighed. “I just do not know what else to do.”

“Who are we talking about?” Grongo interrupted.

“Marlow,” Delthor elaborated. “The young mer who was just in here.”

“Ah.”

Marlow’s heart was thudding in her chest. She sank to the bottom of the cavern ledge outside the small cave the others were still in, and she pressed a hand over her heart. She swallowed a thick lump forming in her throat. Whatever they were talking about, it concerned her and it did not sound good. She frowned as she mulled over the possibilities. She could not think of any way that Nix was treating her unfairly. If anything, she sometimes felt Nix doted on her more than necessary.

“Acivaqanir. Curse you, Delthor, stop glaring at me like that. I am trying my best!”

“You are being cruel.”

“Cruel? I am trying to keep her safe!”

“You are doing nothing more than stalling and leading her on. Sooner or later, she is going to grow weary of the game and go off on her own. What then?”

“It will not come to that,” Nix refused. “I will qaunqe – protect – her.”

“You cannot protect her from herself, Nix. And you cannot protect her from you, either.”

“It will not come to that,” Nix hissed again. “Besides, in a few more days, it will no longer matter. It has taken more time, but she has started to adjust.”

Marlow’s brows furrowed. She did not entirely understand what they were talking about. It had something to do with her and it sounded like it pertained to going to visit her family, but that did not make any sense. Nix had promised and she had not lied yet, why would she start now?

“You cannot count on that, Nix. She has retained so much more than any other human-born after their change that we know of. You cannot depend on the chance that she will forget. It has already been longer than normal and she has not lost any clarity or desire.”

“You would have us go? Have me lead her to danger and death for a wish she cannot fulfill? Some ataliumasta I would make then.”

“No, Nix. I just want you to accept that not every soul can be saved. Not everyone wants to be. I am worried for you. Let her go before you get seriously hurt too.”

“I will be fine.”

“Is that so? Answer me this, Nix; did you take that spearfish blow today on purpose?”

“Of course I did,” Nix retorted. “You would have been callalleqed – wounded – had I not.”

“That is not what I was implying,” Delthor argued. “I knew the spearfish was there, I was moving out of the way. Your actions were unnecessary. Did you take that blow for an excuse not to take her today?”

There was a stretch of silence and Marlow’s heart squeezed. Surely not. Surely Nix would not wound herself, would not purposefully find such an extreme, awful reason to avoid going to the surface?

“Delthor, I am ukvernar – loyal – to those I care about. I will always, kesianek, always do whatever is necessary to protect them, including you. I got in the way for no other reason. Delaying a trip to the surface – giving Marlow more time – is just a coincidental bonus, nothing more,” Nix warned in a low, terse tone. “Getting gored by a spearfish is not my idea of fun or ideal, but yes, I will be honest and admit it is an outcome I would rather than to bring Marlow to be wounded or heartbroken.”

“You are being reckless, Nix.” Up until that moment, Grongo had been silent, but his voice was firm and emotionless as he spoke. “Obsessing, putting yourself needlessly at risk, and you are slipping into your old language again…we talked about that. I am concerned how this is affecting you. Perhaps it was not the right time for you to become a guardian.”

A guttural hiss rang out through the water. “If it was not right, I would not be,” Nix snarled. “Out in the water, I have loaned teeth to so many, but this time was different. Marlow was different.”

“And that is what worries me,” Delthor pressed. “I do not want to see my friend get hurt. Not over a new mer who does not want to be here. I wish no ill or harm on Marlow and wish her all the luck, but she is going to go with or without you, Nix, so stop investing in the idea that you can change it.”

“Perhaps it would be better if another took over your duties as guardian of the girl. At least for now.”

“No,” Nix growled. “I am her ataliumasta. Nothing will change that.”

Marlow was still frozen outside the cave. She did not know what to think, but her throat felt tight and her eyes were stinging. It was so disorienting and everything that had been said was sending mixed signals. This whole time, Nix had never had any intention of helping her get home. She was lying and misleading her, and yet it still sounded like Nix desperately wanted to help her, just in a twisted up way. But it also sounded selfish, like it was for her own benefit rather than Marlow’s.

Marlow felt like curling up in a ball and sobbing, and she could feel a chill beginning to crawl across her skin. She hastily rubbed at her arms in hopes that it would stave off the sensation. It did, but only a little. The one mer she had considered a friend and a confidont suddenly felt like a betrayer, and it hurt.

Within the cave, she heard Delthor sigh. “I cannot stop you, Nix, or force you to take any path other than your own, but just…be careful. You are smarter than this.”

“Regardless,” Grongo interjected. “This is bound as best as it is going to be. Delthor, escort her up to a nest and get her settled. Nix, there will be no hunting or strenuous moving for a few days and do not sleep on that side.”

“I understand,” Nix agreed. A lot of the aggression had left her tone and now she just sounded weary.

“Come on then, put your arm around me,” Delthor encouraged.

Marlow knew she should leave. She should pick herself up off the ground and swim off before they came out and caught her listening in. She also knew she should flee so that she did not have to face Nix and so that the mer could rest, she was still injured after all. Her hands were shaking and her breathing felt like wheezing through a straw, but she could not bring herself to move. Some part of her wanted to get caught. She wanted to confront Nix and get some proper answers, but it still felt wrong to push it immediately after Nix was injured.

But her choice was made for her as she hesitated a little too long and Delthor came swimming out from the cave with Nix in tow. She was not hidden, so he saw her and paused for a moment to regard her silently.

Marlow took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. With how much turmoil was trapped inside, she surprised herself with how steady her voice was as she spoke. “Delthor, I know Nix needs to go lie down, but is there any way that she and I could have a moment alone? We need to talk.”

“I agree,” Delthor confirmed. He crouched and pulled Nix’s good arm away from his shoulder as he set her down beside Marlow. Marlow risked a glance at Nix’s face, but the other mer was not looking at her. Instead, her gaze was directed towards Delthor, who was staring back at her. It was as if a silent conversation was going on between them because after a moment, Delthor shook his head. “You are on your own for this one.” Marlow watched him rise and he placed a hand on her shoulder briefly as he swam past and disappeared down below.

Marlow’s shoulder still tingled with lingering heat from where he had touched her and she frowned. She did not want to be struggling with numb right now on top of everything else.

Nix also seemed to notice her current state, because she leaned over immediately and reached out to place her good hand on Marlow’s arm. “You are so cold, Marlow,” she whispered as she began to rub her palm over the skin of Marlow’s arm, down to her hand, which she tried to take.

Marlow yanked her hand away and recoiled when Nix made a second attempt. “Do not.”

“Marlow, you are going numb, I have to,” Nix protested.

Marlow pulled away for a third time and met Nix’s gaze. “Nix, I do not want you to touch me right now,” she growled.

Pain glistened in Nix’s eyes, but she pulled her hand away and nodded. “Alright,” she agreed. “Kanginge. I understand. But if it gets worse, you are going to need to seek someone else out to help. You wanted to talk?”

Marlow pulled her tail up to her chest and rested her chin on it. “Actually, I want you to talk while I listen.”

“Alright.”

Marlow closed her eyes and took another breath. “I was always raised to never make assumptions about things I overheard and to always give someone a chance to speak their side of a story or situation before I passed judgement. So, that is what I am going to do. I heard everything you all talked about and I would like that explaination for it now. I am really hoping it is a good one, because otherwise it means that you really have been lying and trying to mislead me, and I really do not want that to be the case, because you are my friend and I thought I could trust you, that you cared about me.”

“Oh, Marlow, of course I care about you. You are my picirn.”

Marlow was not familiar with that word, so she opened her mouth to ask, but closed it again when Nix shook her head. She supposed it was not important right now.

“This is not how I would have wanted this conversation to go, nor how I would have chosen for you to find out any of this, but Delthor-”

“Delthor is not the one I am mad at,” Marlow objected. “Do not try to blame him for thi-ump.”

Marlow cut herself off as Nix reached out and pressed a finger to her lips. Her bright blue eyes were fixated on Marlow’s. “You said you wanted to listen. So niicugni, Marlow. Listen. I was going to say that Delthor is right and I have not been fair to you. We should have talked days ago, but I was alinge – afraid – of hurting you, and now that is exactly what I have done.”

Nix pulled her hand away from Marlow’s face and instead extended out her hand, palm up and fingers open. “I promise you, Marlow, I will explain everything that I can to you and there will be no lies and no withheld truths. Let us go get settled in someplace a little more private and comfortable, and I will explain.”

Marlow wanted to growl at Nix. She wanted to refuse the request, demand they remain where they were and not stall any longer. She was not sure how to feel about everything she heard, but she knew that the hurt and anger in her chest would not dissipate without a proper explanation and she had no inclination to wait. But regardless of what was happening, she felt some of the rage dissipate when she met Nix’s gaze.

Nix had always been calm and patient with her and it was clear she was still trying, but there was something lurking deeper in the mer’s crystal gaze. She was in pain, that was easy to see, but her wide eyes, pursed lips, and the way her brows were scrunched up helped Marlow see the sorrow and the fear. It forced her to face the reality that she was scared too. She did not want to lose Nix as a friend or learn that Nix was not as honest or safe as she had led Marlow to believe. It seemed like Nix feared for their friendship too, and despite her very fresh injuries, was trying not to show any weakness or hesitation.

Her shoulder was tightly wrapped in strips of kelp and what looked like a smaller, wider version of the belts the mer wore for hunting. It clashed with the smooth sheen of Nix’s skin and pity leaked into the crevices of Marlow’s heart to douse some of the flames. She sighed. “Alright,” she agreed.

She pushed herself up off the ground and reluctantly held her hand out to Nix. “I will help you.”

Surprisingly, Nix did not immediately take her hand. Instead, she peered up at Marlow and held her gaze. “Have you changed your mind, then?”

“About what?”

“Physical contact with me?”

“Not particularly,” Marlow muttered. “But I am not going to just leave you on the ground. You are hurt.”

Nix shook her head. “While I am quya – appreciative – of the offer, I only want you to engage contact because you want to, not because you feel that you need to. I will swim on my own, my pamyuq works just fine,” she decided. She kicked her tail, though Marlow was not certain if that was to prove a point or give Marlow a clue as to what that ice-word meant. She assumed Nix was talking about her tail.

Still, it was hard not to feel a little guilty as Nix’s expression twisted into a grimace as she pushed up off the ground and gestured for Marlow to lead.

“Are you sure you do not need help?”

Nix shook her head. “It is hardly the first time I have been injured, Marlow. I am a bit…headstrong. A cellaite, Delthor thinks. I will be fine.” As if to prove her point, Nix lashed her tail and began swimming across the cavern towards one of the many divots in the cave walls where the mer tended to sleep.

Marlow’s head was still spinning, so she did not bother protesting as she followed the black and white mer into one of the alcoves. When she reached it, Nix was settling in on the soft moss at the bottom, so Marlow dropped down too and waited expectantly.

After a moment, Nix shrugged. “I will explain myself, Marlow, but first you are going to need a naucaqun in order to understand.”

“A what?”

“A history lesson.”

“I do not see how a history lesson is going to explain the things I heard…the stuff you are doing.”

Nix dipped her head. “I am not trying to lead you astray, Marlow, but I believe that you will not have a proper understanding of it all without the knowledge of the past. What do you know already of humans and mer and the sacrifice?”

Marlow shrugged. It was not a pleasant topic. “When I was young, I was taught that sirens were demigods. Creatures created by a twisted, cannibalistic god that gave them their taste for human flesh and blessed them with gifts of beauty and song to better lure their prey from ships into the waters to drown and be eaten alive. Supposedly it was a punishment for angering the god in the first place. So every couple of months, a sacrificial offering is made to the oceans and the sirens, to appease the appetites of them and their master so we can fish the seas otherwise unharmed.”

Nix clucked her tongue. “They teach you nothing about before the sacrifice?”

“Not really. I mean, there was not really anything prior to the sacrifice. It was started rather quickly to prevent further loss of life when boats were sinking every time they went out on the water. But I am guessing most of that is not true, is it? Unless you were sirens once and have changed.”

Marlow watched Nix purse her lips. The dark tips of her hair were swaying in the water around her and her fingers on one hand were plucking absently at some of the moss below them. “Very little of that is true; or rather, it is a warped, incomplete version of history. I do not know the utetmun of our nauci, nor do I know the origin of humans creation either, but I do know that we were not pitted against humans and their blood and meat makes us ill in high doses. Once, a long time ago, humans and mer were kenruk.

“We were friends?”

Nix hummed. “Yes. A very, very long time ago. Back when human boats were little more than long canoes or flat rafts with a single sail. It did not get them far. But mer would help them navigate the seas to find the fish and we would lend teeth to the sick and dying to give them a life beneath the water if they wished. And humans would give mer fruits and harvests from the land, materials for tools and crafting. We learned our fat tanning techniques from how humans tanned hides and sewed cloth, and they learned water currents and migration patterns from us.”

Marlow frowned and shook her head. “Wait, but how did mer and humans teach each other anything? I thought you said we cannot speak to one another?”

“That is true,” Nix agreed. “But languages were simpler back then. Mer learned to understand certain aspects of human language and humans began to recognize meaning in ours. It was limited and not always accurate, but it was all they had.”

“So, what changed?”

“The currents,” Nix replied with a shrug. “I am a little silty on the exact details as I learned the ice history initially and the details here later on. But so far as I understand, the currents shifted and brought cangerlak, the time of famine. The fish had fled the waters and there was nothing but sickness and starvation. Humans had the land, but the mer were starving, so the pods in the area qimage, fled, to southern waters. For a long time, there were no mer in this area.”

“But you all came back. I still do not understand how the sacrifice came about if humans and mer got along,” Marlow pressed. Her brows furrowed and she curled her fingers against her opposite arm. Despite her earlier urgency and her anger, Nix was telling a story too engaging to pass up.

“We were gone a long time, Marlow. Too long for humans to remember us well. Stories were passed via mouth back then, and the mer are much, much longer-lived, so while we remembered and intended to rekindle the long-standing kenrukshee, our friendship with humans, they no longer remembered us in the same way. Mer had faded to legend and story, and those stories had gotten warped and twisted, and humans now feared us.”

Marlow frowned. She had yet to understand what any of this had to do with what she had overheard, but her gut was twisted into a defeated knot about that. Nix got to her point in her own time and Marlow was not going to speed that up by being pushy about it. “Relations were never mended?” she asked finally, just to still feel part of the conversation.

Nix shrugged. “They tried. Mer did not imagine that there would be anything different. Just as before, those here at the time would surface with offerings of fish and attempt to communicate tidal and weather changes in hopes of starting up trade and friendship once more, but humans no longer knew the crude language that had once been formed between our people. At first, it was merely nuisance shooing. They would throw small stones or sticks, or bump them with oars. It was not unlike what I am familiar with. The land people of the ice do the same with the oars of their boats. Relations there are less tense, but still not good. We make them nervous because their boats are easily tipped. It is rude, being prodded with an oar is not a pleasant experience, but ultimately it is harmless.”

“They shooed you off like animals?”

Nix shrugged. “That is what we are to the people of the ice, Marlow. We are like the orca or the polar bear. We are seen as pilraute – competition – for food and resources, but also respected as part of nature, so they shoo us, they do not retaliate. But the people here? They retaliated. They feared the mer, so they lashed out. Shouting and nudging with oars or poles became prodding with the pointy end of a spear.”

“Ouch.”

Nix hummed. “Indeed. Well, deterrents work, Marlow, and mer started avoiding ships. There was no point in trying to form a relationship with people who were only going to chase you violently away. So there were no more surface encounters. But there were still encounters. We need the surface too. We need to hunt and that takes us to open waters same as fishing boats, we need the sunlight and the coastal island beaches for foraging and tanning fish fats. We cannot just stay in the depths out of range of human contact. And that was where conflict escalated because suddenly, there were spears being thrown and arrows being shot with the intent to maim and kill, for nothing more than hunting nearby.”

Nix’s face contorted and her lips pursed into a thin line as her jaw clenched and her hand came up to her shoulder. But when Marlow leaned forward, Nix waved her away with a shake of her head and a flick of her wrist. “I am fine,” she managed. “I have endured worse injuries, just give me a moment.”

Marlow sat back again and folded her hands together in her lap as she watched carefully. Despite her waning patience that was clashing with interest in the history, and her anger at Nix bubbling beneath her skin, the black and white mer was still her friend and she was still concerned for her health.

After a moment or two had passed, Nix took another breath and forced a grim smile. “The thing you have to understand about our past, Marlow, is that mer are not aggressive by nature. We hunt for food, we will defend ourselves and our pod mates, but we do not go looking for violence and have a weak concept of revenge or retaliation. Fighting unnecessarily just wastes energy and risks injury, and out in the water like this, those can be a deadly combination.”

“That makes sense,” Marlow agreed.

“Mer did not go looking for a war, Marlow. Our ancestors tolerated the abuse, tried to rotate hunting and surfacing times, but they could never fully avoid human ships, and with each interaction, the conflict escalated. But there was one event that finally spurred us to fight back.”

“What happened?”

“A tuqu. A death. Do not mistake, mer had been killed in the skirmishes before, but mostly due to injury or infection later. It was infrequent but had put most of the pod in a frustrated, angry headspace already. But this was different and deliberate. When mer learn to hunt, a rite of passage that is performed is for them to lead a hunt. It allows them to test their skills and establish trust and communication in a team. If a mer is human-born, then that rite comes whenever training is completed. For those born into the pod, they are trained as they grow, so it is also a coming of age test. It was during such a hunt that true fighting broke out.”

Nix paused for a breath and her expression caved. Marlow had already gathered that Nix was not present for these events – she had said so and even if she had not, it would have taken place far too long ago for Nix to have even been alive, surely – but her expression seemed as though she had experienced the events personally.

“His name was Eindro. He was mer-born and he was just a little younger than you are. It was his hunt to lead and there should not have been any ships in the area, but humans were unpredictable. At first, Eindro handled the additional threat and challenge well, until he got too close and was caught up in the nets the humans use to pull in fish.”

“They caught him? Did...did they let him go?” Marlow winced even as she asked. The way the story was heading, she already knew the answer, though she hated to imagine they would have hurt a child, even if her people had more or less done the same to her.

Nix shook her head. “They cut him free of the net, but they did not free him. Their boats had gotten bigger by that time. Not so large as now, but enough that it was not easy for the hunting party to climb inside. They did eventually scale it with the intent of coming to his rescue, and all Eindro had done in the meantime was try to pull himself to the edge, but humans had him by the base of the fin. Eindro’s father was on that hunt, Marlow, and they slaughtered his son in front of him when they put a spear through Eindro’s throat.”

“That is awful,” Marlow whispered.

Nix dipped her chin. “No one from that ship returned to the shore that day, Marlow, and humans took that very personally. They made it a priority to hunt as many mer down as they could. They would cut the fins free of the tails and mount them on their boats like trophies. I believe it was intended as an intimidation tactic, but I am sure you are already familiar with how many ways humans have to intimidate others into compliance.”

“Yeah,” Marlow agreed. It had been almost easy for the council to convince everyone that a young girl from the societal fringe was a better candidate than the thieves and vandalists that sat in their town cells. Not that she would have wished the fate she believed awaited her on anyone, but it had still left her feeling as though there was acid in her veins.

Nix reached out as though she meant to touch Marlow’s arm, but Marlow watched as she hesitated. Her fingers hovered a hair above Marlow’s arm and then Nix shakily pulled her hand away and wrapped her arm around her waist instead.

“How mer responded I think is what coined the idea that we are sirens. Mer cannot bewitch the mind or seduce humans into the water, but we can make use of our voices in other ways. Once, mer taught humans how to navigate in the dark and in the fog by listening to how the water hit against rocks and coral shelves that raised above the surface. In the midst of the fighting, mer took that skill away by casting their calls into a cacophony that confused sailors. They could not hear above the noise and tried to avoid it, and in doing so, were driven into the very rocks they were trying to evade. Mer sunk ships and pulled sailors over the edge, and they made use of their spears and swords and nets in return. It was an epic battle, but humans had the advantage of numbers. Our breeding season is seldom in comparison and at the time, turning humans was not a common practice, nor something considered during the war. It is meant to save, not trap or force souls to the other side. Every death was a serious blow as the numbers dwindled. Humans nearly wiped us out entirely from these waters.”

“Then what changed? And how come you told me that you did not know why humans think mer are sirens or how the sacrifice came to be?” Marlow accused. She found her lips pulling back into a snarl as her fingers curled into fists and her frustration began to bubble over. There was apparently a lot that Nix had lied about and that left a rotten sensation in Marlow’s gut.

Nix sighed and shook her head. “I do not know how the sacrifice started, Marlow. It is not like humans told us or could communicate with us; there was no agreement reached to end the war. As for the siren thing…yes, we assume that is what led to the belief that we are beasts with a seductive song designed to lure the unsuspecting to a watery grave, but how could I have explained all of this to you at the time? You would barely listen to the simple things I was trying to explain.”

Marlow wilted a little. “I…” she faltered and pursed her lips. Nix was right that there was no way she would have listened to this history lesson her first day. And even if she had, she would not have heeded it. It was hard to stop seeing the mer as the monsters she had been raised to believe they were and prior to breaking from that belief, the story would not have stuck. “That doesn’t excuse you lying to me,” she growled finally.

Nix inclined her head. “You are right, and I am sorry. At the time, it was easier just to attempt to soothe you and quell your questions that had no easy answers. Regardless of what has spurred our talk today, you would have learned all of this history over time and been no more affected by the feigned ignorance than you were for not immediately knowing how the guardian bite works.”

“I suppose,” Marlow muttered. “I still do not like that you lied to me, regardless of the reason. I thought I could trust you, that you were my friend…how can I trust in someone who misleads me about things I have no other way of confirming?”

The way Nix’s bright blue eyes sparkled and her lips twisted into a frown made Marlow shrink back even though she knew she had nothing to feel guilty about. “I am sorry, Marlow. It was never my intention to hurt you or make you question our friendship. But you are right, and I have misled you. I believed it was for your benefit, but from now on, no more lies. Akqe. I promise.”

Marlow chewed her lip and looked away. She wanted to believe that, but she was not so certain. Nix had been unfalteringly kind, but Marlow had not known the mer long enough to know whether or not Nix was prone to lies or broken promises. This could just be another empty vow.

But Nix seemed to read her own meaning into Marlow’s silence because she reached out and – despite another hesitation – finally followed through on her intention and made contact. Her fingers gently squeezed Marlow’s arm and Marlow paused for only a moment before pulling her arm away. “I know you desire answers, and that no apology will mean anything until you have those answers. I am nearly finished with the history you need to know and then I promise, I will explain my narurte, my behaviour. I only ask for your patience and would beg for an aipaa urenkun.”

“A what?”

“A second chance.”

Marlow snorted and shrugged her shoulders. “I reserve judgement on that for now. But I will hear out the rest.”

Nix nodded. “Mer were outnumbered in the war, so they had to retaliate smartly and carefully. Any ships near our territory did not return to shore, and eventually, humans pulled back. The pod saw fewer and fewer ships. Humans never stopped fishing or travelling, of course, but they gave our waters a wide berth. The violence came to a stalemate. If ships crossed our waters, they were sunk, if mer were found in the shallower reef waters where the majority of ships now stayed, they were slaughtered. It was a begrudging border, of sorts. One that remains to this day. I do not know what caused the sacrifice and we are not even certain exactly when it started, but we cannot just leave innocents to die for a tradition we never wanted or asked for.”

Marlow continued to nod along as she listened. She supposed as unpleasant as the experience had been, she was grateful the mer went through the effort of helping the sacrifice victims because otherwise she would have been left to bob and drown alone and for no reason out in the freezing water. Better than being eaten alive, but she was fairly certain in most cases, it was not better than the truth.

“But that is why I am so reluctant and afraid for you to go to the shore. If you are found in those waters, you will be hunted down and attacked. We are not welcome in the shallows.”

Marlow pursed her lips and wrung her fingers. She definitely did not enjoy the idea of having to flee the shores with harpoons and spears being shot at her, but she also was not willing to be deterred. She took a breath. “I respect that you are intimidated by the shore, but that is a risk I am willing to take.”

Nix shook her head and bared her teeth before freezing up. Her bright eyes closed and she took several breaths. “It is not just a risk you take for yourself, Marlow. For now, humans seem to believe that a single offering is enough to keep ‘sirens’ appeased and us away from the shallows. If you go, if you get caught and you threaten that delicate balance, we could have them hunting us again. We would not survive another war.”