It has been a week and it's nearing the end of October. The yellow to brown leaves decorated on the streets were now on full display, impossible to miss while the rain led the leaves down the alley , creating pathways of leaves and water, creating a view close to painting.

It has been a week and inside a big apartment were suitcases filled with clothes and necessities. Next to them stood a couple that were dressed in formal clothes since they prepared for a business trip.

"Now dear , be sure to clean the house every 3 days at least! You don't want to walk around trash piles like in your room."

"Yes yes, clean regularly, eat healthy and not only snacks and don't open the door when you don't know who it is. Mum, I'm not ten anymore. I can look after myself just fine."

"If I see those circuit boards lying around your room after I'm back then not only would you break the heart of your own mother by showing such cruel sight , but also deserve a beating with it."

"I get it! I'll clean up right away!" I started to walk back into my room to be then abruptly stopped by dad. Are you serious when you also know how dangerous it is to anger that monster?

"Son. Just listen to your mother till the end."

When I looked back at mom with a single tear that was threatening to fall down, I didn’t know what to say since they were only going for a business trip for a week. This wasn't the first time they went for business trips, so why is she crying now? No one is going to fall for… Oh wait… one did…

Their company had to make a trip to London because of the extension of a partnership agreement with another company for certain products.

I don't really get the technical stuff about it but since I got a long way ahead to even think about such stuff, the best thing I can do right now is to put my curiosity aside for now.

But that tear… when I saw that, I felt weird. I don’t want to see her crying even if I know it’s fake. And I know why I feel like that right now.

It has been a week… But just a week. And it was like a trauma to me now. The moment I forgot about it , anything turned into a trigger that made me remember these feelings and the exact moments in that dream again and again like a broken recorder. It plagues me as much as reminds me of something important.

The human mind is fragile yet strong at the same time. Strong against anything that may come towards it but fragile towards its own actions. Humans are stubborn but also careless, protecting themselves as much as harming.

I looked at them again. Now with the destroyed city and the carnage in my mind , I thought that anything could happen at any time. Of course the absurdity of an angel and a demon fighting may be far stretched but…Anything can happen. This made me feel like I bit into something bitter. I don't want to think about the possibilities of life yet when I didn't even get to enjoy it fully. Don’t expect so much from an 18 year old. I’m not even fully out of puberty and with not many social interactions besides with my parents and Felix, I shouldn’t have even the same mindset as a ‘normal’ 18 year old boy. but..

Don’t be such a coward now and hide your feelings. Or else…

I got to my parents , who now we're slightly confused by the actions of the boy who always refuses affection from them, and hugged them. Tightly. I was usually the one embarrassed about hugging my parents like that but I’d rather do this instead of regretting it later. And staying like that without saying anything was still embarrassing. Push through your embarrassment , Laith. At first I didn’t truly know why I wanted to hug them tight but now I know and got through this.

After a while I stopped hugging them and backed off a bit. My face is probably slightly red of embarrassment although I shouldn’t feel that much about it, right? But… I probably would have done it again if time was reversed. It wasn’t a mistake.

" Please stay safe , both of you. "

"…Didn't know I had a son that would worry about his parents that much."

This… I’m trying to have a moment here, you motherfu…

"…Didn't know I had a father that would even question such things."

"Hehe… And I didn't know that the first thing I'll do when I'm back is to beat the living shit out of you."

"Don't worry sweetie, we'll be safe and just fine. And the same thing applies to you too. Don't go out alone after 10pm. Ask Felix at least to go out with you. I know you like to try new dishes but don't you dare create stuff that's just unhealthy for your body and also…"

Mom started to count everything that went to her mind that I should be aware of. Like I said, it wasn’t the first time but seeing mom always so worried each time made me smile just a little bit. Yep! I got a very good mother! After 10 minutes of talking , that was half worry and half threats that made me sweat coldly. Dad looked at his watch to see that they don't have that much time anymore.

"Come on Aylin. We need to hurry."

"…hah… Fine. And remember, if there is ANYTHING you can't handle by yourself then you will contact me as soon as possible. Got it?"

"Yes mam!"

Salute! Thou shall not break thy promise! Though my actions were ignored. After mom’s last words that were more threatening rather than loving ,the two went out with their luggage in their hands. Since this is going to be a business trip, the company will drive them to the airport and back. I waved at them and sent them off like that before returning back to our apartment.

CLICK

"Hah… Now what?"

A sigh. One filled with exhaustion. This week was too tiring for me like no other. My stamina wasn't enough to keep up nowadays and that is something to worry about since I am only 18 and should be as energetic as possible. Though my body would usually say otherwise, I should still have enough to get through a normal week just fine. But the mental exhaustion just piled up even though that dream only happened once.

The morning sun shone through the windows and the cool breeze of the Saturday morning came through the window lightly. I went to the living room and let myself fall onto the couch, relaxing my whole body at once.

'I still haven't told Felix about the new game I bought. I could surprise him if I come over with it. Or when his birthday comes at the end of November. Yea ,let's do it then!'

I looked at the apartment and saw some untidy places. Remembering the threat from my mother made me stand up immediately and go to tidy up. No mere mortal will dare defy that monster of a mother’s words. And since mom just left, it wasn’t that bad and I finished pretty early.

After I ate some breakfast, I got to play some games and do my homework. It was a pretty chill Saturday.

The breakfast I ate was mediocre at best this time. Even when I had enough experience with cooking to even stun 5 star chefs, I was too tired and lazy to care about what exactly I eat at the moment. Now with nothing else to do and with my homework already done, I took out one of my games that I had and now I realised I had to get new games.

I already finished all of them at the hardest difficulty with a %100 completion and there was no homework nor anything else I could do to waste my time. I was very bored at the moment and out of ideas.

'Maybe hanging out with Felix is a good idea' pulling out my phone, I texted him immediately.

[Yo dude wanna hang out in the park for a bit? I'm already finished with my stuff here and don't know what to do]

[Bet. Be there in 5 min]

Alright! I went to my room and put on some pants,shirt and a sweater. It’s cold for everyone else but a sweater was more than enough for me.

I was now waiting at the park that was next to my apartment complex on a rather large bench. This is the park where we always hang out and talk. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see a tall guy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was even taller than me and had much more muscles than me which was a given when you know he is the ace in his football team. Those consecutive wins are not a miracle work. I think. And he’s very popular at school thanks to that and almost everyone at school knows that he'll start professionally right after graduation. Now I do question if this is all from his own effort or a miracle.

"What's up, man?"

“Same as always and you?"

"Nothing much. Here!"

Felix tossed a beer can towards me and I just caught it. Looking at my best friend with quite worried eyes was a normal reaction.

"I'm not sure if you'd become a professional football player with the amount of alcohol you drink."

"Hahaha! You know I'm strong when it comes to both football and alcohol." Said Felix with a grin . I could only show a wry smile after that statement but didn't bother to continue with that argument. He’s got a point. And I just wanted to talk with my best buddy for now. Living the moment for now seems like a good option to me.

We sat down on a bench we found at the edge of the park. I rested my elbows on my legs and looked downwards while Felix leaned back and looked up in the sky. You’d think we had just gone through a lot to be in such a state but that’s just how we are when we sit down to talk. Our conversation went on for almost two hours.

Our friendship has been going on for 6 years now thanks to this stupid boy approaching me when everyone else avoided me like the pest. I was thankful to have a buddy like Felix. Having someone who could always find something to talk about and make me laugh almost every second is something I would like to treasure a bit more.

Felix turned towards me with a wry smile on his face which came out of nowhere for me until I heard his next question.

"...So when … are you gonna ask Gina out?"

"That… For a week ,I guess? I mean I actually was not a coward this week and tried to actually talk with her. But … she was always surrounded by her group of friends that looked at me like I was an abomination out of hell… and now I can’t find opportunities at all."

"Come on dude! Abomination? That’s a bit extreme."

“It isn’t when you are disliked by almost everyone at school… But I’ll get to talk to her surely.”

“Hoho… You sound awfully confident there. Where does this confidence come from?”

"Not sure?... gut feeling, I guess?"

“But you’d first try to talk with her and not just ask her out directly like going into a suicide mission, right?”

I… didn't answer his questions. I mean I couldn’t even get to her at all. So how am I going to have multiple conversations with her? But I knew… that I won’t back off anymore like before. It wasn't something from my own will but more because of that weird dream a week ago. It gave me much of a trauma as it pushed me to take at least half a step. Even if it’s not a full step forward, no more stepping back out of anxiety , cowardice or anything else!

But even after thinking that, I couldn’t answer Felix’s question. Only a wry smile could be seen on my face that made Felix sigh. Felix then said something that put a knife through my hard.

"So you’d have asked her out just like that and then proceed to get rejected as she knows nothing about you while her friends start to badmouth you. Do you want to get rejected?"

"Ugh… no…"

Silence came once again as the two best friends didn't know what to say after that. I could only see a kind of pained expression on Felix’s face at the moment which made me also sad.

"I guess I should go back home and finish my homework."

"Still not finished with it? It was quite easy for me tho …"

"If I was a smart ass like a certain someone then I wouldn't struggle that much in chemistry and biology. You should start some exercises since studying would only be a waste of time for you, I guess. Anyway, see ya Monday again."

"Yeah… see ya."

The golden and brown leaves that were blown away by the wind made their way towards me as I still sat there when Felix was already gone. I looked up at the dark sky that was now in full display. Crystal clear sky that showed off its stars to me. The beer can in my right hand is still there even when it was empty for a couple of hours already. But my thoughts were now at something else.

Felis’s words and what we talked about at the end… Was I really ready to ask Gina out? Giving the fact that almost everyone wanted to date her yet she never let anyone come near her romantically. She was more focused on her studies and training in martial arts then to focus herself to maintain a relationship.

‘Or at least that's what I usually hear around from other people. But how true is that? Does she really have no romantic thoughts at all? Well… I should first try to talk to her like Felix said. Anything else is in the future.’

I stood up and went back home. This time after hanging out with Felix, I wasn’t as mentally exhausted as before so I made myself some delicious food for dinner and then watched a stand up show while eating it. Laughter is always appreciated, especially with good food and comfortable seats. Cleaning the kitchen was where I shot myself in the foot. I cook well but the mess created wasn’t something I’m that proud of myself. After cleaning up my shame, I took a shower , brushed my teeth and went to bed.

Still thinking about our conversation, I closed my eyes. I’ll move forward. Even if i get… rejected… I slowly dozed off into a deep sleep which awaited a new bright morning.

ROOOAAARRR

The same roar. The same sounds of explosion. The same acrid smell. The same field that I saw just a week ago.

“...shit…”

Everywhere where the eyes could reach was destruction. Flames raging as if they were the emotion ‘anger’ itself and the sky covered in dark smoke. The atmosphere around was dark red as if being in a painting representing Hell.

How could this be? The dream came again and it felt just as real as the first time.

My body almost broke down remembering the pain I felt the last time I was here. In the real world, that memory became hazy but the moment I set foot here, all the memories came back clearer than ever, making me almost vomit. But then when I remembered my last time fully did I remember something. The cause of my trauma. I turned around almost instinctively.

HISSSSS

The same 5 monsters that attacked me last time appeared again but this time they had a bit of blood on their beaks which was definitely not their own blood. Their eyes focused on me, or to be more precise on my neck. They looked at me like I was a snack.

I felt that my last death experience would happen again. It was inevitable for most people that didn't train to fight, especially fighting beasts that don't exist in the real world. And more so for me who doesn’t have the capability to fight even normal boys my age.

‘UGH… the feelings I had came back again…no… ‘

My weird feelings came back to me before even one of these foul beasts could attack me. They just looked at me as if they knew I couldn’t amount to anything. They could toy with me, make me desperate and even break down into pieces if they wanted.

But that thought was exactly what made me move right away.

'I can't die here with regrets! Get yourself together! Laith! Even if you can’t win, just fight! Fight!'

This world may be a dream.

A horrible dream that felt more like a different world.

A weird dream where I had to fight.

And I knew I didn't have any chance to win here. The previous fear of death. The previous despair from getting pushed down. The previous pain from getting eaten piece by piece. And the previous regret and feelings I had before the end. They all reminded me that I won’t win.

But so what of it! If I have to die anyway, I’ll fight!

I’ll fight to the last bit of my strength.

I'll fight until my body is no more.

I’ll fight so I won't feel the same pain as last time.

The same metal rod as last time was at the exact same place. In fact almost everything was the same as last time.

But now I was ready in my heart. If I have to, I’ll fight with all my might. I’ll scream out my frustration like the dam has finally broken.

"COME AT ME YOU FUCKERS!!"

While clenching the rod so hard that my knuckles went white, I screamed at the beasts with every ounce of emotions in my chest.

Not a Second Time!

I won't fall like that a second time!