Pendulums:

It was maybe during lunch. There was a teacher’s room that had nice fabric chairs in it, so I, her, and some other friend of ours scooted them up to a desk and she showed a pendant off to us. I, of course, just floated beside them, since there were only two chairs anyway.

“Look at this!” she’d said, pulling it out.

Our other friend, I couldn’t remember her name, leaned forward to look at it. “It’s...a cone thing?” she said. I didn’t remember the exact thoughts she had, but I could tell she was just feigning ignorance to annoy Emma.

“No, it’s a pendulum. It’s made of quartz mined in Peru.”

“Why Peru in specific?” I asked.

“Apparently, it’s been enhanced by a precog or something, and it can predict the future. You know, prisms store psychic stuff really well, so I’d guess it works!”

“Really? I doubt psychics can do stuff like that,” the other girl said, always a contrarian.

I wasn’t so sure of its legitimacy at the time either, and I totally could have used my psychometry to learn if it were fake, but I didn’t.

There was some short argument between the two that I didn’t care enough to memorize, and eventually, the other girl decided it wasn’t worth it to break Emma’s pseudoscientific spirit over something so petty.

Emma eventually said, “So that’s the thing. Depending on which way it swings, you can determine the future or past! Only yes or no questions though, and also, nobody else touches it, or else that’ll break the psi-field. Also, no deliberately tampering with the results, you got that? I’m looking at you, Psychi!” she said, all in good fun.

I held my hands out defensively. “Ok, ok, I won’t blow it in the wrong direction!”

“So...what should our first question be?”

“Will my mom let me go to the Pu-J concert next week?”

“Seriously?” Emma asked. “Your mom won’t let you go to concerts?”

“Yeah...she’s a pain in the ass sometimes.”

I chuckled. “At least she gives you a good allowance.”

“Says the loaded chick!” Emma yelled, patting my shoulder affectionately. [we should really get away from that sub-TTRwA} her thoughts suddenly scrambled, and she closed her eyes, trying to hide what she was obviously about to think.

I checked out for a moment, trying to ignore the feelings of rage boiling in my chest.

She wanted to avoid talking about parents, but thinking wasn’t any better, not to me.

I felt horrible for being angry at her thoughts and quickly engrossed myself in the moment to forget the feelings.

“So,” Emma digressed, trying to play it off. “Speak your question and the prism shall answer...” she said ominously.

“Will my mom let me go to the Pu-J concert next week?” the other girl said.

Emma held the pendulum out and said, “Ok pendulum, clockwise for yes, counterclockwise for no. You got it, girl?” She stared at the prism intently for a few moments, then nodded her head. “Good. Show us the way!” As she held the prism out, her hand seemingly still, it slowly began to stir, and swing clockwise, moved on by ‘wind’ and ‘spiritual forces’. Eventually, it settled on the clockwise spinning.

Emma nodded with a satisfied smile. “Looks like a solid ‘yes’ to me. Good for you.”

The other girl chuckled and let out a small, “Yay!” while clapping quietly.

Emma gently caught the pendulum between her fingers and settled it. “Ok, I’ll do mine next...” she thought of a few possibilities, most of which were ridiculous enough to make me cover my mouth. I didn’t like to show off my mind-reading all that much. Eventually, she settled on a reasonable question. “Will I get a boyfriend soon?”

“Soon?” I said. “That’s kinda vague, isn’t it?”

“Sure,” Emma responded, nodding as if it were a respectable question, and speaking as if she were about to refute me.

...silence.

She had muffled her thoughts once more, her expression briefly flickering to annoyance. When they returned, she finally said, “So, I’m going to do it, now. Clockwise for yes, counterclockwise for no. Will I get a boyfriend soon?”

We watched with curiosity as the pendulum slowly began to quiver in Emma’s hands. for a bit of time, it was difficult to tell which way it had begun to turn.

“I wonder what it’s going to say,” I said redundantly. “It’d be really sad if you got another boyfriend before I ever got one, you know?”

She stared at it intently. “Why’s that?”

“Cause I’m, like, super,” I said, playing on my title of ‘super-psychic’.

She giggled, trying not to let her hand tremble at all. “Fair enough. You’ve got money and power. If you were a boy, the girls would be all over that booty.”

I chuckled sheepishly. “So boy’s don’t care for that stuff?” I asked.

The other girl said, “Kinda. I’d kill to have what you’ve got.”

I retained my sheepish smile and chuckled, pretending that thousand-fold repeated phrase was funny. It took on a new meaning after I’d killed people, myself. “Would you date me for it?” I said, saying whatever came to mind.

“Girl, I’d have sex for it.”

I chuckled at that one, it certainly wasn’t something I’d heard before.

“Oh, look!” Emma said suddenly.

We watched as the prism quickly gained speed, and the radius of its arc increased, growing more and more pronounced until it was a definitive clockwise spin.

“Haha!” Emma yelled triumphantly, “I’m totally gonna get a boyfriend before you, ez pz.”

“Aww,” I said, slumping. “Buuut, if I get one faster than ‘soon’, maybe not. So, ha!”

“Well,” the other girl said, with a mysterious edge and alluring smile. “If you really wanted to beat Emma so badly, it’s not so hard.”

“Ohhh?” Emma said, leaning forward with curiosity. I did the same. “What do you mean? Do you know some guy with an open invitation? He better be cute, cause no ugly boy is taking my precious psycho away from me.”

My heart began to pound, and my expression froze as I read the other girl’s mind.

“Well, I don’t know if it really counts, but I’m serious, here.”

“Come on!” Emma said playfully. “Stop stalling!”

Thoughts entered and exited my head rapidly. I didn’t exactly disagree, but at the same time...my heart kept pounding, and I didn’t know why.

“Fine, fine,” the other girl said, before looking at me with that smile, leaning forward to stare me in the eye as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

I...

Didn’t really want this life.

My heart didn’t stop pounding for a long time after that. I felt like shit. As much as I talked and talked about romance and other stupid things, I was in pain.

I was really, really in pain. I kept drowning, and instead of learning to swim, I floundered to the surface to grasp what air I could before I fell back down and repeated the process.

Because I didn’t want a relationship. If a boy, any boy, or any girl, had asked me out right then and there, I wouldn’t have had the guts to say yes.

I wouldn’t have the guts to betray who I was.

I was a super-psychic, not a schoolgirl.

And nothing would ever change that.