《The Returner Dad Is S-Rank》Chapter 03: Bickering Friends
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"Are you sure this will work properly? I mean technically we don't know anything about this spell, do we? All we have is a rough translation of the spell which you did. I am not suspecting your ability to translate and understand these ruins but still you know… just to be sure cause it is my ass on the line."
"Am I sure? Am I SURE!? Well, what do you think then? I am the greatest Magus on this planet and the foremost authority on Spatial Magic. Even if it was a rough translation I understand enough to make it work. Here I am working my ass and brains off for you and you are asking me if I am sure? Do you always have to undermine my work you asshat? Don't worry nothing will happen to your royal ass on my watch."
These two men were bickering with each other like children whilst standing on the top of the peak of a mountain. One was setting up a great altar to perform one of the most greatest and ancient spells of all time. The other was standing behind him and observing the whole process whilst nitpicking everything that was being done.
"Yes yes, you are the greatest Spatial Magus in the world(lol self-proclaimed) but you have never done this type of grand magic before, have you? Did you check the list of ingredients that are required? What about how this altar needs to be structured? I just want to be sure that we don't miss anything. "
"Yes, I have checked all the requirements over and over again. I even showed them to you and we checked them together one last time. Now, do you want to do it again? Well, be my guest.
Oh and Fuck you, Jake! What do you mean by self-proclaimed? Do you think I did not hear what you said just because you said it under your breath? I can hear you sniggering from a mile away. If I am not the greatest Magus that can help you do this spell then why the fuck are you here trying to ask for my help? To help you perform this one-of-a-kind Ancient Spell which a hairless monkey like yourself could never hope to understand."
The Mage did not like Jake's criticism of his talents. He always thought that he was being undermined by Jake. For better or worse fate had brought them together on this mountain and now they had to work together to do this.
Besides the reason for their bickering was not a lack of trust between them, for their abilities to do this, but rather because they were nervous. The air around them was tense as their anxiety was getting the better of them. This was a spell that they had never even heard of let alone having any experience in casting it. The only way they could escape this anxiety eating away at the back of their mind was to talk with each other. Why this simple act of talking with each other turned into a verbal fight was because this is how they always talked to each other.
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"I asked for your help? Now you can fuck off Jaffer! I never asked for your help, You wanted to come with me on this journey. You could not give up the chance to be able to not only find an ancient spell with me but then be the first one to cast it. You wanted to be the first Magus in the world to cast this spell and etch your name in history. I let you do it because you were my friend. I never came to you because you were the greatest. (again lol self-proclaimed)"
"Shut up!! This still does not give you the reason to be an asshole to your only friend who went through so much with you. Besides we worked really hard to gather these ingredients, didn't we? Who helped you in gathering them from all over the continent? I did!!"
"Let me rephrase my earlier statement 'I did not ask for your help' period. I could have collected these ingredients on my own. Sure it would have taken me a little bit more time but I could have done it by myself.
The only reason you came with me was that you were bored, sitting in your tower all day reading books. You came because you wanted to go on an adventure with me. You came because you don't have any other friends besides me. You think you are my only friend because you don't have any other friends but guess what, I have friends other than you. You Loner!!"
The last comment from Jake really infuriated Jaffer and set him off the rails. Now he was really angry at Jake.
"Uh-uh, you didn't. No, you didn't, you just went there, didn't you? You just crossed a line that you should not have crossed you son of a bitch. Now I am going to make sure that your ass ends up on the moon instead of Earth, you bald ass fucker."
Jake chuckled as he saw his friend getting more and more enraged over his stupid comments that they were passing to each other. He should have stopped here and let Jaffer work but he was having way more fun than he thought he would so he kept it going.
"Bald!? Son, I have the silkiest and lushest hair on this continent. Even the Queen of Star fall City has got nothing on me bitch. My shit is silky smooth, unlike your scraggly hair. You are the one that is losing hair every day. I see that receding hairline don't try and hide it with that ridiculously big stereotypical magician's hat. Oh, wait were you insecure about your hair? Is that it? Is that why you keep calling me bald.
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As for landing my ass on the moon well, you cannot do that, you dumb ass. You simply do not understand this spell enough to make any changes to it. What this spell does is that it sends you back to the place where you belong. On this basis, we are hoping that in theory, it should be able to send me back to Earth because that is my birthplace, that is where I belong."
"You! You…..Fuck!!"
Jaffer wanted to say something back to him but just couldn't find the right words to throw back at Jake. So he just stopped talking to him.
After their episode of fighting, they both calmed down. For the next few moments, there was complete silence between them. Jaffer kept working on the altar to prepare for the spell and Jake sat down and quietly observed his friend.
Where they were standing and building the altar was on top of the tallest peak of a mountain that they could find. This was one of the requirements for the spell to work which was the highest peak in all of the lands.
Where Jaffer was working on the Altar there were a lot of ingredients lying on the ground near him. Some had been put in their respective places while others were lying around waiting to be settled on the Altar.
The ingredients that were to be used in this spell were quite diverse in nature. There were many precious gems that were lying around. Some gems were still embedded in bracelets and necklaces that needed to be removed. They had robbed a lot of nobles and royalty to acquire these gems.
A lot of high-quality magic stones were also being used. They were all of the different elements, as characterized by their different glimmering colors. Some of these were also stolen, bought, and mined from different dungeons and caves.
Then came some precious herbs, flowers, and leaves from different plants and trees. Which were collected from different forests from all over the continent. There were a lot of monster body parts lying around too, Their fangs, claws, organs, and bones. These were of different shapes and sizes taken from monsters that roamed the lands, swam in the depths of the ocean, and flew in the sky where the air was thin. There were also some Jars filled with the blood of these said monsters.
The adventure that Jake had spoken of before was this two-part quest. The first half was to find a spell or device capable of sending Jake back to Earth. The second part was to collect all these ingredients. They found the spell in about a year but it took them about three years to find all the ingredients.
The ingredients used in this spell were so numerous and so rare that it took them a long time to collect. Believe it or not the most hard-to-find ingredients in this pile were not the mana stones or the dangerous and ferocious monsters that they had to face but rather the herbs. Both Jake and Jaffer had no prior knowledge of plants and they even hired people to help look for them and still it took them so long.
Among this pile of ingredients, one particular item caught Jake's eye and that was a heart. Not just any heart but a huge heart about the size of an average male lying on the ground still thumping. This heart belonged to the Dragon King of the northern Empire of Dragons. The spell required the heart of the dragon king. Dragons had a total of four hearts in their body. The dragon that this heart belonged to was still very much alive. Since the dragon was still alive with his other three hearts, this heart was still beating because of it.
"Hey Jaffer, after I am gone keep an out for Drake would you. When he finds out that I am gone and you are left alone he might come knocking at your door for revenge. After all, we made him give up one of his hearts, reducing his strength and hold over the other dragons."
"What? Come after me? Why? It was you who threatened him with war and violence if he did not give you his heart. I was just standing by when this happened and had nothing to do with it. oh my god, he is gonna come after me when you are gone isn't he? Fuck! See, even as you are leaving you still give me a headache and reasons to hate you. Well, it would be fine I guess. I may not be a strong fighter like you but I am pretty good at magic. No matter what they do they can't break my space magic and as long as my space magic is intact they can't touch me."
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