《Reborn A Paladin: The Dagger Of Shadows》B2 Chapter 14: More Than You Were Born

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A stiff wind blew in over the waves of the southern sea. A fog laid low as in the middle of the night a small sloop pulled up onto the shores of Darlan’s south coast. The landing area was a small cove surrounded by cliffs on all sides. A small set of footprints scurried up along the beach to scout the rocks up ahead before rushing back down to the boat.

A figure in a dark purple robe stepped onto the shore. Her hair was tied in braids and as silver as the moonlight as the winds blew back her hood. Reaching up to secure it, she hurried further up the beach to meet the halfling.

“We should make haste, the meeting point isn’t far”

The halfling scurried through the rocks and waved Alyssa into the forests. They followed a small trail up to a high cliff that overlooked the water.

REEEEIIK

“What is that?” she stammered

“Wyvern riders, there should be four of them waiting just ahead” Gladly said as he continued up the path.

“Wait” she said as tapping his shoulder, “Something feels off”

“What do you mean?”

Alyssa slid her hand into the side of her cloak and drew her sword. As she moved away from the path and into the thick of the forest. Gladly looked at her curiously.

Alyssa peered through the trees towards the cliff peaks, where she saw a single wyvern flapping just one of its wings in between the shadow of mounds of rocks.

“It is injured,” she said as Gladly joined her.

“Perhaps it stuck its wing on one of the rocks when landing?”

“Those aren’t rocks”

Gladly did a double take as a glint of moonlight shone off the armor of the fallen knights, scattered between the bodies of three dead wyverns.

“Assassins” Gladly whispered.

Alyssa nodded, and slunk back into the forest.

“They will still be close by, we must move quickly” she said as she scurried through the woods with the halfling at her side.

Yuta pulled a makeshift mortar and pestle from his satchel, and plucked several blue leaves from the stem of the plant. After rolling the mortar around and crushing the leaves into a paste he added a pinch of salt that he had found earlier in a small evaporated pool by the sea. He pulled out a dagger and the Samanthum flower and drew a neat incision down the stem. He pulled the organelles from within the plant and crushed them gently in his hands, before mixing them in with the blue leaf paste.

He reached over to a small boiling vial of oil, that sat over a fire no larger than a hands width. Carefully he scraped the paste into the vial, and watched as it reacted with the oil. It bubbled and frothed as the mixture turned a vivid blue and pink color.

He put out the fire and allowed the mixture to cool before picking it up in his hand.

“To think I would find such rare ingredients as soon as I landed, this is no doubt part of the quest requirements. If I just drink this, I should have no problem winning her back”

He lifted the vial to his lips and let the ooze slip down his throat.

*cough* *cough*

Yuta’s muscles locked tight and he fell into the dirt before spasming. His heartbeat rushed like a storm, as sweat beaded upon his brow. He shook violently in forceful rigors, unable to control his own body as it swam and convulsed under his skin.

A red glow swam through his veins, and turned his eyes pink as he continued to suffer through the transformation.

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“Gah! Ahh! Ahh!” he said as the convulsions finally stopped.

He stood onto his feet and wiped his brow, now noticeably different than before. His arms and legs were no longer thin spindles of flesh and bone, but were firm and muscular. His portly belly was now rock hard, and his semicircle of a chin was now chiselled like a sculpture of an avatar.

His hair flowed beautifully around his face, as he turned back towards town and squinted his eyes to make out the dim candle light through the trees. He picked up his satchel and shovelled his gear into the bag.

SWOOSH SWOOSH SWOOSH

He turned as something suddenly broke out of the bushes.

THWACK

He was bowled over as a robed figure smashed into him. He looked up and saw the flash of platinum blonde hair, as the woman struggled to lift herself off of him.

“Assassin!” Gladly cried, as he readied a dagger.

“No no no! I’m no assassin!” Yuta replied as he lifted his hands up in surrender.

Alyssa gently pushed herself up off his chest and gasped a little as she noticed the immaculate features of the man beneath her. She stayed frozen in a trance for a moment as the chiselled physique of Yuta’s new body and face captivated her beyond her control.

“Who are you?!” Gladly said as holding his dagger to Yuta’s neck.

“The name is Yu…”

*Wait, should I change my name? There is no way anyone could recognise me now anyway*

“Your name is Yu?” Alyssa asked

“Oh no, I’m Riyu, I just got startled is all”

“Riyu?” Alyssa stammered

“I wasn’t asking your name, I was asking what your business is out in the woods!” Gladly continued.

“I was picking flowers, check my bag if you don’t believe me”

Gladly pulled on Yuta’s satchel and opened it to see flowers stuffed inside.

“Hrmm, none of these are poisonous my lady, I think he is just a boy from the town up ahead”

Alyssa smiled as she pulled herself off of Yuta and offered her hand, “Sorry Riyu, but we are in a rush, and must go”

*Hrmm, has the quest taken a turn? What do I do, try to get back with Silvia, or offer to help this woman? Wait, is this a multiple choice option? Of course!*

“Wait a moment, I may be able to help you” Yuta said in a soothing voice, almost purring.

“We don’t need your help, we need to be off, come now” Gladly said as waving his hand to Alyssa.

“But he looks strong” she protested

“Forget the boy, we have to go”

“Yes, yes… Sorry,” she said as clutching onto the halfling’s hand.

“No matter my lady” Yuta called out, “If it be destiny, that made our paths cross, we shall see each other again”

Alyssa smiled before turning and following Gladly off through the woods.

Yuta dusted himself off and pulled at his shirt.

“I am a million dollar statue, wrapped in rags, I’ll need better clothes if I am to truly look the part”

SNAP

Yuta turned his head to notice an ominous shadowy figure standing behind him.

“Which way?” the voice inquired in a low raspy tone.

Yuta pointed his finger in the direction the woman and the halfling headed just minutes before.

The man moved past him like a cold wind, his eyes tracing a line of red as he went. Yuta stumbled backwards as the stone cold presence of the man whooshed past.

TAP TAP TAP

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As the early morning shone over Yuta’s shoulder, he knocked on the door of the inn. A short man, with brown curly hair opened the door, he wasn’t a halfling but compared to Yuta’s new height he stood a good foot shorter than himself.

“I am new in town, I am wondering if there are any other adventurers about that I could join on their travels”

“Adventurers? We don’t usually get that sort here, but yesterday there were two. A lovely young lady who is here, and a horrible little gremlin of a boy who is god knows where now”

“I see, may I meet this young lady then?”

“Sure sure, she’s just having her breakfast. What was your name?” he said as leading him into the dining area.

“Its Riyu” he said with a smile

Silvia looked up between bites on a sausage, she gulped as she saw a sculpture of a man step through the doorway with the innkeeper. Her jaw dropped slack as the man spoke his name and smiled.

“Hi miss, this is Riyu, he says he is looking for any adventurers in town to travel with so I thought I’d introduce you”

“Ah, yes! I’ll travel with you” she almost shouted.

“I’m glad” Yuta responded with a warm smile, “I haven’t any money or equipment, I hope that isn’t a problem for now”

Yuta stood there dressed in fine clothing he had stolen from the town seamstress the night before, shining in the early morning light as it danced in through the windows.

“I’m Silvia” she said as standing and offered her hand.

“A pleasure” he said as he took it to shake.

*I knew it… It was because she thought I wasn’t good enough for her… Now I don’t feel bad at all for tricking her. And besides, I would have planned this transformation anyways. It is her fault if she didn’t like the old me, that just means I will have to keep up a bit of an act, but I’m fine with that*

“Yeah, so where are you headed?” she said as sitting back down to take another bite of sausage.

“I was about to ask the same”

“I am thinking of heading north, finding some adventuring work a few weeks outside of the city up north”

“That sounds splendid,” Yuta replied warmly.

“Do you have any fighting experience?”

“Only a little, but I am willing to learn”

“Alright, how about I get you a weapon, and we do a short sparring session before heading off”

“Let’s do it”

“Don’t listen to Tarkon when it comes to girls,” Dasha said with a smile.

“Oh really? Does he have an opinion on it?” Mirio replied, raising his eyebrow.

“Does he ever, haha, that man never quits”

“And that is bad?”

Dasha squinted in the harsh sunlight as a hot wind blew through the wastes catching her hair.

“When it is him, it is, yeah”

“He said stuff about leaving a scar on your ass right, that can’t be a flirt can it?”

“Oh a guy like him doesn’t flirt, he just acts his own way, and likes to think he can rattle a girl”

“And does that work?”

“On some girls maybe, but to me it looks pathetic”

“Right… This is all new to me, ha, the only thing I know about girls is that when you have some natural chemistry it flows effortlessly”

“Exactly, why force it right?”

“Well, I suppose that is true, but I’ve only had that kind of chemistry once”

“True, it is rare…”

“I wonder, has any guy ever been kinda cool, even without that natural spark?”

“Sure, I’ve met a few guys who were generous, and real gentlemen. At least, they were that way for a while”

“And then you uncovered something else”

“Yup”

“Can I ask what it was, or… Should I just guess they were married or something like that? Looking for a concubine”

“Bingo” she said with a lift of her index finger, “You catch on quick”

“I’m just trying to understand all this. So with those guys, were they handsome?”

“Hmm, not always”

“So, how did that work, did you just like talking to them, or notice they had a good nature?”

“Yeah, you can just tell when you meet someone and get to know them a little what they are about”

*Hrmm, I think she is both right and wrong here, no doubt she makes mistakes and a guy who looks better might have an advantage in tricking her. I know that is true with guys being tricked by girls, we are probably worse with it though*

“You mentioned they were generous, was it lavishing you with gifts and things?”

“Oh no, the stingiest men on the planet lavish girls with gifts. You know because they want something back for it. I just mean they give you their time, and apply effort in getting to know you, and are open about things, not trying to push you, but not stopping short of being bold either”

“It almost sounds like footwork the way you put it. Like keeping the right rhythm and distancing, and knowing when to step in, staying patient”

“Haha, do you have to make everything a fighting strategy?”

“Well before the way I related to how girls think was like when I screen for people I can teach, so now I am just seeing if anything else matches up, like keeping patient and observant. You call that generous, while in reality it might be that the guy is actually being tactful or considerate in how he supports you. I was like that with Kabi, but not because I was trying to be, I was just being more honest that way”

“Hrmm, maybe that is it, but I think if you start trying to do that with girls it won’t be generous at all. But maybe I am biased and I just want to believe it only works when a guy truly feels it”

“I think we all want to believe that. Kassie was tactful and patient, she was also observant, well at least initially and at a superficial level. She could have noticed more about me or have been less critical, and maybe offered more time, but… I’m not going to argue against how she felt or what she needed. I mean if she was thinking I was something else, and realised I wasn’t, I’m fine with ending it there because it was a mistake in the first place”

“Yeah, she was a ditz though, don’t try to learn too much from her just because you haven’t got much experience talking with girls in the city. Go and meet more of them and you’ll notice we are all different”

“This is going to sound really bad, but I’m guilty of that I think…”

“Guilty of what?”

“Thinking all girls are kind of the same”

“Just soft places to rest, huh? So was that how you looked at me, when you were whipping out that charm of yours when we first met”

“Ha, sad but actually kind of true. I didn’t know I could actually try to understand you better, and I’m only just now wrapping my head around it. I have no idea why I start off so clueless, its kinda scary”

“Imagine how us girls feel. Never knowing if a guy is serious or not, or if he’s just a clueless sap trying to adjust to us and pull the wool over our eyes”

“Yeah, now that you mention it, that would be scary… You girls aren’t doing that to us guys too are you?”

“Well, now that I have to keep secret”

“Nooo… Haha, okay, secrets are good sometimes, and I don’t want to end up with an unfair advantage”

“Aren’t you cocky”

“Well I’m a guy after all”

“Mmm, I’m not so sure most guys are like you. Mister, I just want to learn more. Why are you asking all this stuff anyway, I never picked you as a guy who was all that driven with girls”

“Yeah, I’m not. Driven. I am trying to figure it out because I feel like it is a part of most people’s identity, and if you have no passion for things in life, well that is just kind of empty. I kind of think there are answers in it too”

“Answers?”

“Well, why are we driven to do things? What makes us desire the things that we do? Is it just instinct? Or is it something else…”

“What about being captivated by something? Haven’t you ever felt that way?”

“Yeah, exactly, I have. It made me who I am actually”

“Don’t stop there, come on, tell me”

“I was five years old and I saw a woman wielding a spear in the town plaza, she was a paladin and it just wowed me. So I snuck away and found the barracks, and watched the guards training. I was so mystified by it that I couldn’t look away. It was like it was a part of me already, and I was just finding it for the first time. Like a song rose from within, and I liked feeling that way, because I felt closer to who I really was”

“A natural warrior?”

“Maybe… I think I was just looking to make my own choices, but was too afraid to move or do anything real. To be able to fight felt like the first step to freedom, because I could one day define the rules rather than have them pushed onto me”

“Makes sense, I mean I told you why I became a knight. I want everyone to be able to control their own destiny”

“Yeah, but there are always things stopping it. Even when nobody is stopping you, you sometimes even just stop yourself, because you fear something in the void. Out there beyond the horizon, yet to be understood”

“The void?”

“Do you ever feel a pressure, like as though you are being watched, even when you are alone? And you start judging yourself for every little thing you do, or else you feel like you have to freak out?”

“Anxiety? Yeah I feel it even at the silliest times… I’m surprised you are so invested in understanding it”

“Well, it has to be part of why we desire things doesn’t it? And what if what we desire is influenced by things that aren’t really there to help us… And we become a tool, an implement of that fear. What if all that is wrong with this world comes from that one bad choice at the core of who you are. And you live a life, thinking it is your own, only to realise later that you were manipulated from the start”

Dasha choked a little as the discussion delved far deeper than any she had experienced before. She gazed at Mirio with a sense of wonder as he stood there confident in all he had said. There was a sense of credibility to him that spoke louder than his words, and yet there was also a deep wound inside of him, something she could tell he was desperately trying to close. She began to tremble a little as she considered words that might help him.

Was she stepping over her bounds to say something here, would it be too personal to comment with her point of view? Yet, Mirio seemed so alone in his place of thought, she felt compelled to respond, if only to reassure him that he wasn’t the only one who felt those ways.

“This might be awkward of me to say… Because I have no right in telling you anything about something so close to your heart, but do you think that reacting to the fear by trying to have choices is also a part of it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there is one level which is to step out of fear and to do things that help you. But then there is a second level where you have to question what you have done and why, isn’t there?”

Mirio furrowed his brow as flashes of the fight with the Sawtooth Queen flickered through his thoughts.

“A second level?”

The image of the Queen screaming in his mind was terrifyingly real again, as its fleshy maw screeched into the night.

*It was telepathic wasn’t it… So I acted unpredictably… Following a motion and then shifting out of it without any reason to do so…*

“You are right, there has to be a second level. And if I am being honest, I lack it… In fact, maybe I even envy others who have it. Who can act freely… Who aren’t as locked in as I am on every little detail. They are more free than I am, no matter how strong I become”

“You mean like Tarkon?”

“No… He is trying to prove something with it I think. I don’t think I have met anyone with what I am imagining, I just sometimes THINK people have it when they don’t”

“Mirages? Double images of who a person appears to be and who they really are?”

“Yeah, and I only see it in the double”

“Got it. Ha, I hate to say this but my brain is fried, let’s head back I’ll get the other guys to scour for the breach”

“Ah, sorry for being so heavy”

“It is okay, just as a girl, it gets kind of uncomfortable when there is nothing more to say, or nowhere else to go. Maybe it is just me, but I always need to be in a flow. Unlike guys who can just sit and dwell in it, that just makes me anxious, so I have to get moving”

“Oh, then what about I tell you a cool story, unrelated to all that other stuff?”

“Sure”

Silvia twirled a short sword down by her right hip, and nodded to the fine sculpture of a man before her.

“I usually use a bow, but I have some training in the shortsword, you ready”

Yuta looked off to the corner at his status screen.

Strength: 16

Dexterity: 15

Constitution: 14

Intelligence: 16

*The system says I am strong in almost everything after taking the mutagen, meaning most things when fighting should be easier, and require less stamina. And I can feel it as I grip the sword, almost like I want to move, rather than feeling like it is hard*

Yuta nodded and lifted the tip of his sword. He adjusted his feet in the grass and followed her as Silvia began to circle around to his side.

YAH

TING TING

Silvia darted forward with a pierce and a slash to follow up. Yuta stepped back and circled the tip of his blade to parry.

*I moved so much faster, this is awesome. Now I wonder what happens when I attack?*

Yuta stepped off to the side and lunged towards Silvia, tapping her on her leather armor with the tip of the blade, and then following up with a slash. Silvia raised her sword in time to block it.

*I will smash through it!*

CHING THUNK

Silvia held off the blow for a moment before it blasted through and smacked hard into her shoulder.

“Ah” she screamed as she grabbed her shoulder, as she pulled it back there was blood on her hand, “Too hard” she screamed back.

“Uh sorry, I don’t know my own strength, here take a bandage” Yuta said as rustling through his bag.

Silvia took the bandage and carefully wrapped her shoulder, “You don’t need to go that hard in a sparring session, have you ever done sparring before?”

“Sorry, I’m still pretty inexperienced, but did I do okay?”

“I don’t know. I mean you are strong enough. But that can be a weakness in a fight as well if you can’t control yourself. There is a kind of intelligence to how to fight”

“Oh, don’t worry I am as intelligent as I am strong”

“... Right” Silvia said as she finished with the bandage, “How about we get you a shield then and you can act as the vanguard, I’ll use the bow”

“Sure”

Silvia looked at him out the side of her eyes.

*What is with this guy? He’s pretty but seems like a bit of an idiot. Ugh, whatever, I only have to tolerate him until we get further north, then I’ll find another group. I’m not going to take on another charity case, hoping to build them up from scratch like with Yuta. I need competent people if I am to become the best of the monster hunters*

“What you doing here? You come to talk fire or what?” Tarkon said as picking his teeth.

“I’m on break, joined the guards, thought I’d pop in and see if I could ask you a question” Mirio replied.

“Shoot”

“You know how the bard said that magical power and control comes from a person’s identity?”

“Uhuh”

“That means it gets stronger the more detailed and in depth your understanding is right?”

“Yeah because your thought speed will match the grind happening about you”

“So a few months back I had that whole pillar of light thing happen”

“Oh yeah, didn’t you have to replace the temple dome, selling all your shit”

“Yeah, that, I remembered that the bard’s words helped me control it back then. You know, the thing he said about controlling your own observations when choices don’t seem to come from you”

“Just get to the point man”

“What if your identity is a choice that isn’t your own, for example one part of you reacts against a fear and another part of you pulls away from that and neither are your own, how should you observe things differently?”

“Man, we’ve been over this already, thought speed fast enough to match the grind. The first reaction is just a magic circle of a certain type, the second reaction is another magic circle, between is a grind. If you think fast enough you should be able to grind again, and again, and again, until you leave that bullshit in the dust”

“But how do you know when you have left it in the dust? What if you just end up going in circles?”

“I suppose that is possible, but is it really that important to not go in circles?”

“Well if I am building an identity I wouldn’t want to come back to where I started, or would I?”

“I don’t know man, I guess coming back to the start is one way to measure how far you’ve gone, but at the same time if it happens when you don’t want it to, it could be bad”

“So how should I control it?”

“Man, you are hurting my brain with this, don’t overthink it. Set a goal, if that goal isn’t right, set another, and try to be open to things that you need to be aware of to adjust”

“How can I know what I need to adjust to though? What if I’m open to the wrong things?”

“You know what, I have an answer for you, stop asking other people this shit. Ask yourself, and if your answer isn’t good enough, grind it out, and then again, and then some more. Identity is born of hardship right, so don’t be a pussy about it, don’t worry that you will do it wrong, care about getting it right”

“Yeah”

“You worked on that flame cantrip I taught you?”

“I did, but to be honest, I don’t really like the idea of burning things alive”

“Purifying it you mean” Tarkon said with a wink, “Nah, but I get you. To be fair a lot of monsters are resistant to it anyway. I just figured that because of your divine fire, that you’d take to it”

“Do you think the oasis spell could ever be offensive?”

“You know, I still haven’t gotten the hang of it yet, it keeps disappearing whenever I conjure the fucking thing, like an oliphant is stepping on it. So I don’t know. I think any magic can be turned offensive though”

Mirio summoned up a swirling sphere of oasis energy and sat down beside Tarkon, “Here, take a closer look at it”

“Damn, you really can control it now, those edges are smooth and the sphere is a nice tight shape, no deformations. It is pretty wild how it moves inside though, almost like it is zapping around and folding over itself”

“Yeah, I’m alternating the currents, and twisting the feed I’m pouring into it”

“You are controlling that shit?”

“Mhm”

“Spooky shit, are you noting the holding patterns?”

“Yeah just like you said, I process the speed first, then start locating the pressure points, then feel out the holding patterns, then when it spits a new behaviour out I try to be calm and hold it steady, until I’m on top of it. It feels pretty complex but I kinda figured it out”

“You reckon you could make a blade out of it?”

“It is too soft”

“What about charging the orb with something, I mean have you ever heard of the chromatic orb spell?”

“You think it could be similar?”

“Hrmm, dunno, I’m just thinking that if you shove that in someone’s chest it is probably going to fuck up their mana right?”

“Or help them”

“But what can help can also harm, no?”

“True”

“Bah, trying to invent new magic is so frustrating” Mirio let out as he let the orb evaporate, “It feels like walking in a desert without water”

“Wait, maybe that is it. If the oasis soothes, maybe there is a spell like the desert that roughs people up?”

“Like some kind of dry orb?”

“Yeah, you should look into it”

“I swear, sometimes this stuff is so frustrating though, but I’ll think about it at work tonight, see if I can’t figure something out”

“Alright, let me know if you want a fight in the ring, I can easily set it up for you. Easier money than acting like a stiff in the guards”

“I’ll think about it,” Mirio replied with a wink.

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