Chapter 29

Why We Departed

Rasen’s diary July 16th 2020

Nothing is happening these days in the grounds of Lolrena. However still, Raven continues to hold the authority over the URS. People in the URS seem fine with it, so why do I feel so anxious about the current situation? Raven actually thinks the Tal empire is going to strike again soon. She is using 8% of all the House Lolrena’s income to prepare against the Tal empire. I think that’s awfully a lot of money spent on something very uncertain. We probably showed the Tal enough to fend them off for a long time, even forever. Raven however, is still worried about the possibility of their invasion. I don’t blame her, but I just don’t think that’s right. I know that it’s her right to use the house Lolrena’s money whatever she wants, she earned it after all. It’s just I don’t know. Maybe I am trying to be too nudgey with her decisions. Maybe the Tal empire will after all invade again soon, in that case we would have to fend them off again, and her decision would have been the wisest one. Only the time would tell… for now, I think it’s not a good decision.

July 18th 2020

We had some arguments about the future plans of the house Lolrena and the URS regions, that Raven insists on calling Lolrena too. I hope she isn’t falling to the corruption that power and authority will bring. I trust her not to, but something inside me tells me that she isn’t immune from it. Nobody is immune from the corrupting aspects of power. Not even my sister nor me. We should keep an eye on ourselves so that we don’t become like the Tal. Fighting against evil, there is a great chance that we will become evil. It’s one of the cruel rules of the world. There are so many cases of these happening in the history of our continent. I don’t want to repeat the history, so… that’s why I am worried about the recent behaviors of Raven… I don’t know… Raven managed to overcome all the challenges thrown at her so far. However… all of them were rather external rather than internal. I am not sure if my sister could overcome the biggest internal desire of all humans. THE POWER. Power over people. Power over the ones who you have never known would be able to rule over. Power makes people blind. Power makes people arrogant. Power makes people fall and shatter. It makes them shatter into so many pieces that they will never be able to rebuild themselves. Power… can change so many things… and yet do so little… in the way that we intend to use in the first place.

July 21st

I don’t feel like writing much… things are getting…

July 22nd

I don’t know why this is happening. Lifetime of friendship just takes power and an year to…

July 23rd

I can’t decide… choices are all sad. I don’t know… why is… this… mmm… probably, mmm… what should I even write at this stupid diary. This was the one I started writing with Raven… so now… why am I writing on this.

July 24th

I don’t know what I gotta, can’t decide… something big is coming to house Lolrena. It’s going to break. Not only me and Raven but the whole house itself. It’s not going to survive, if I…

July 25th

… … … I don’t know what to write in this stupid diary now. I am starting to break, I don’t know why. Something is not going the way it’s intended. World is a bit weird… Maybe it’s just me…

July 26th

Sometimes… I look back to the days when we were rising. The days when we didn’t argue about stupid causes. These days, I miss those days a lot. Raven were different then… I was different then. Raven and I back then… were true brother and sister. Sibling united for a single cause, nothing could have stopped us. However… now that cause is not here anymore, and a new cause arises, we started to split. Raven were intend to drive out the Tal empire for good, and not just from URS… Get this, Raven is preparing to drive out the Tal empire from the entire continent. I don’t think it’s going to end well. However, I can’t stop what Raven really desires to do… It’s just how she is really.

Why am I even rambling on in my diary. Ugh, I just want this to end. Maybe I should seriously consider leaving this place for rest. Maybe I’ll come back someday, but now… I am too tired to do anything here. Someday… I might come back. Maybe to help Raven block out the Tal invasion if she were actually right all along. Maybe then though, I may not belong here anymore. Raven might be able to govern this place better herself.

July 27th

I told Raven my plan to leave. To my surprise she strongly insists that I stay. It makes me happy and glad, and it sort of makes me want to listen to her and stay by her side after all. However… something is off. I knew that since the victory over Tal. I knew something wasn't going to go right. I still don’t know what, but I can feel it. I can sense it. I can’t explain it though. So I insist on leaving. She tries her best to talk me out of my plan.

“Rasen, I know you don’t want to spend money on the Tal empire’s invasion. However, this isn’t the way out of it.” she says.

“It’s not just that Raven… Things have changed so much since after we killed the Necromancer. I don’t think I belong here anymore.” Then I added, “Look around Raven. This is your empire now. This is not what we planned, we didn’t plan to become an empire just like the Tal’s.” Raven got really angry at my criticism and almost attacked me right and there but she managed to calm down after a little while.

“Okay, fine. I agree that I am not doing things very democratically. So, how about we cast a vote. All of house Lolrena will get a say in whether they want to prepare against the Tal empire, or chill out and live here peacefully without my command.” I don’t know if this is a good idea… however it’s probably better than me leaving like an outcast.

“Alright, when’s the vote?” I asked with a calm and cool voice that seemed to make Raven satisfied.

“How about 2 days from now. I will post an alarming mass message to everybody in our house. Then we can gather and cast a vote after we each give our reasons.” She said with a grin.

“Raven. You know they will listen to you way more than me. Right? If you go out there and give a speech about how we should prepare against the Tal Empire, there is no doubt that your opinion would win by a landslide.” I point out. Raven went into thinking for a couple minutes after hearing this.

“Okay, fine. How about Kaisentria Lolrena speaking about her opinion about this matter on the peparance side. She thinks we should prepare against the Tal empire just like me, and her reputation is not as respected as mine.”

“That’s my sis. Alright, be ready by 29th, let’s meet you at the gathering hall by then. What time should I go there though?” I added to be sure.

“Mmm… how about 8PM, I think that’s a good time for everybody to gather and have a feast. It would be much better if we could have our votes and your parting party at the same time in case you decide to leave anyways. I can see you're still considering it.” She added in a cheerful voice, but I could tell that it had some longing inside it.

“You're so good at reading my emotions now, well… okay.” I added in a weak voice, I knew leaving this place was a real possibility if things went badly. I half knew at this point that I wouldn’t win. There are so many people that agree with Raven just because she is Raven…

July 28th

I am not sure if it would be a good idea to cheat this one. Just the thought of cheating against my sister and the entire house of Lolrena makes me queasy. However, I also know that I don’t stand a chance in a fair vote. So… I don’t know. If I get caught… the consequences will be too big. Even Raven won’t stand up for me if that happens… in fact… she would be the one who will be disappointed the most. While many others think I am just a sidekick of Raven, Raven herself treats me like an equal, or even an older brother. She respects me like I respect her, and I don’t want to betray her respect. So then what? What can I do to win? The quality of my speech wouldn’t matter, I have no other way to win. No chance. Just like the battle against the Tal empire. We had no way, no chance to win against the vast and enormous empire we were up against. We won though, and there might be a way for this one too.

Okay, so I was thinking for a couple hours, but there I couldn’t think of any way that I could use to win in this voting. Maybe I should lose, that would be the point of voting anyways. The popular opinion wins. I don’t like it that much, but it’s better than one person deciding everything after all. Or two people I guess… There were times when Raven valued my opinion more than hers even when everybody insisted that she oversee the URS. That was right after the defeat of the Tal empire. When we were together united and drove out the foriegn invaders. Ugh… I am saying things that every other leader that fell miserably had said a little before their demise. Things like, I used to be a great king, I used to rule over the vast empire, I used to drive out the foreign invaders, I used to be respected, I used to be a great protector, I used to be a great mage, I used to be a great faceless, I used to flick out enemy’s life, I used to command the enormous army and so on. Endless amount of I used tos that actually makes me well… I don’t know. I used to think those kinds of things were stupid and useless. However… looking back now. I realize why they were said so often. I get their feelings now. Their minds, their emotions, and their longings. Right before their demise, I realized what was going through their mind right then. The greatests, the bravests, the craziest, the legendariest, and all the est and most things they did in their lifetime must have gone through their head. Just like how all my adventures and training with Raven is going through my mind. I will miss those days until I die. However I know, nothing can bring those back. Not even a Tal empire invasion…

Rasen’s part (lvl 155 Sigil Knight U)

After saying all those things without looking back at my present surroundings, I open my eyes from my memories. I see Catie fallen in sleep, just like how I would see Raven in her bed. Tiny and cute, that was back when she was Catie’s age. All those times since then had made her a great warrior. A great warrior and a great prector. Maybe also a great leader. Maybe… but not a great sister. Or maybe that was just what I thought of her now. Maybe… I was the one who chanced. Maybe… I became the not so great brother. Maybe both of us changed. Maybe for bad and maybe for good. Maybe we were meant to split apart and go our separate ways. Maybe it was just how things were meant to be. Maybe it was Catie who should be at Raven’s side to help her lead, and not me. Not the one who wanted to make the URS vulnerable for the unexpected attack. From the alarm mass message from the house Lolrena, I now know that I was wrong from the start. Those filthy Tal empire were going to strike Lolrena again and again. Raven was right all along. Then, I murmur to myself.

“This time, I am going to make myself right. I am going to show those filthy Tal empire idiots that invading Lolrena again will be the last thing they do.”