Paralysis

An alien overlord cracked a laser whip and shouted, “Work, human! We didn’t bring your kind here from lightyears away to chatter.”

Frank and his new friend John dug deeper into the mineral deposits with their bare hands.

During a break ...

“This overlord’s brutal, Frank. It’s no wonder why we were defeated. But I heard we put up a good fight, and we will again.”

Frank chuckled.

“What’s so funny, Frank?”

“Us putting up a fight.” Frank smiled and shook his head. “That’s never going to happen ...”

“Huh?” John frowned. “Explain.”

“Well, you believe we put up a fight, but what really happened was something like ...”

———

Government representatives gathered together for an emergency session.

One of the reps spoke, “This bill will arm every citizen with advanced laser guns—based on blueprints we hacked from the aliens—but they require safeties before people blow themselves up or entire city blocks.”

“Preposterous!” responded a rep from the opposition party. “We don’t have time to reinvent the weapons. But I do think we need to amend the bill to suspend any so-called civilized laws. Citizens must be free to fire at will, and do whatever it takes to obtain information if it becomes necessary ...”

“Inhumane!” replied another member. “We should sue for peace. But you want to arm everyone? And you want people to act like savages! We need to amend the bill to enact ET Rights.”

“Ridiculous! Space alien rights?” The opposition rep laughed. “Their first armada wiped out many of the world’s militaries, and there’s another on the way. I say we launch every nuke we’ve got into deep space!”

———

“Their discussions went on and on with no resolution,” said Frank.

John gasped.

“That’s right.” Frank nodded. “It’s called analysis paralysis. They argued to the point that once the second armada arrived, no one lifted a weapon—neither our people nor theirs.”

“So why are we here?” John raised an eyebrow.

“Well, speaking of paralysis, we didn’t expect their paralyzing weapons. The aliens froze everyone in place and transported our ancestors here.”