《aiAI: Love's Logic》Chapter 31: What He Wants

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I exited the elevator and stepped out into the dimly lit lobby. I observed from afar the sight in front of me. I felt the lift silently descend behind me. Simultaneously, I swallowed any remaining doubts and hesitations I still carried, sinking into me as my ride too reached the lowest level. The lights dotting the mall were now all that was left to accompany us on the third floor. Large windows revealed the nighttime sky to us, but the sharp white light of the moon was absent, remaining only glistening stars. I walked up to the introvert, still listlessly surveying the limestone pond. Once I made my way beside him, it seemed he paid no mind to my presence. He merely continued blankly staring at the schools of multicolored Koi fish, illuminated by the warm orange LED lights submerged in the water.

What's with the dramatic setup?

I thought as I inhaled one last breath of air before confronting my wrongdoing.

"Hey, uh, Keith. I-"

"Bridger, I have a question to ask if you don't mind." He said, his gaze not leaving the pond.

I didn't even get a chance to say anything.

"What was your reason for deciding to get matchmade?" Keith asked, nearly monotone but a hint of intrigue was present in his voice. His question startled me, it was a query many asked me many times so long ago, but part of me suppressed those memories after my split.

"I guess I kind of just wanted to. When aiAI gave me that chance, I just acted upon my wishes. There's not much else to it, really. I didn't plan what to do and just lived each day as it passed, just happy I had someone to care for and receive care from." I replied, looking for the words within me to adequately explain myself. I didn't have a straightforward answer, at least not one I could remember now. It could've also been that my own mind didn't want to dwell on it, preferring instead to give what may have amounted to an excuse.

"I see." Keith continued as he closed his eyes. His expression almost seemed wistful, as if it was an answer he not only expected but had already encountered. The air around us felt even grayer, a wave of gloom washing over me as I realized I might only have a few chances remaining to understand him.

"Wait, Keith," I spoke in a resolute tone, earning an interested Hmm from the introvert as I did. I may have gotten his attention, but now I had to convince him to talk.

Think, aside from getting their order wrong at a restaurant, what's another way to make an introvert speak.

I jokingly thought to myself, hoping to organize my thoughts, when the conversation I had with Myla crossed my mind. I needed him to say what he wanted. I wasn't here to interrogate him but to allow him to tell me what was inside him. If I was to take responsibility for this, I first had to give him the reins.

"I've been talking all night long, so," His gaze finally left the water and gave me a curious look. His eyes reflected the white lights of the mall as he gazed at me - belying them, I hoped for a reason, one I was going to let him tell me.

"How about you? What's your reason for being matchmade?" I asked with a warm smile, one a friend might carry. The expression was a sincere symbol of my genuine desire to understand Keith better. But also hide the reservations that still resided inside of me.

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"Looking back at your file and even just observing you now - and yesterday, I still haven't seen the real reason you decided this out of nowhere." Once more, I used a conversational tone of voice, one looking to understand as a friend, not as a job. I wanted to approach the situation with a delicate hand but one that was amiable as well.

Now for one last push.

"Plus, schoolyard rules state that; if I tell you something, you tell me the same, y'know?" Keith inhaled a quick breath of air as he considered his reply. His gaze had left my person - and now quietly focused on the slow yet elegant movements of the fish. While his expression remained subdued, I could tell that many thoughts began circulating in his head.

"Bridger, do you think these fish act the exact same way every day?" The introvert asked as he pulled out a small bag from his pocket.

"Do you think they swim around because it's all they know? Or because it's the most convenient option?" He then began throwing what seemed to be crumbs of a biscuit he broke up in his hands.

Hey, you can't feed the fish. But since you're having a moment, fine.

"They most likely repeat these dance-like movements every time a person watches and make the same restless faces when someone offers them food. I think I've been living similarly - No, the exact same way as them." Keith said, his expression nearly unemotional, yet his tone displayed a certain glum nostalgia.

"I've always lived according to the status-quo, never one to stray from what felt like the usual. It wasn't out of pressure or fear of breaking the established norm, it was just how I knew how to live my life, and it felt, at the very least, easygoing." His answer felt as though it was one he'd realized long ago, one he'd told himself time and time again but never told anyone else. I nodded silently, urging him to continue.

"Every day felt similar, but not dull. I just knew what to expect and who I would see. Which meant my actions didn't have to differ from day to day. I would awake to my mother's smiling face in the sunlight, one that would carry me to my school of rowdy and fun-loving classmates. As I grew older, classmates turned into coworkers, but they still remained enjoyable to be around. Each day I'd see the same sunny face my mother had, hear the same topics joked about in my friend group, or listen to the same complaints my coworkers had for the day. It wasn't monotonous to me, as I found a peculiar comfort in it all." The introvert said with a sentimental smile, one that carried contentment. One that only brought more questions to me than answers.

"But every now and then, something would be different about them. The way they'd act would be ever-so-slightly different from the norm. When my mother would take me to school, she'd sometimes have these moments where she'd longingly gaze at the other families before driving off. It was a complete contrast from her usual perky smile. My classmates occasionally come in more lively, and when I'd inquire about it, they'd turn red-faced and become shy and subdued, not wanting to explain themselves. Finally, my coworkers came in a few times, happily grasping their phones and occasionally making mistakes in their times of bliss. Only for the next day to arrive - and I'd see them in a depressive state." The answer to the oddities Keith had noticed was clear to me, but judging by how he spoke, there was more to it than that.

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"Once I began catching these moments when they'd break the standard, I couldn't help but ask them for an answer. All I would get, however, were vague replies. They'd never be able to sum it up in a few words, and when I compared them, there were few connecting threads. I thought it was just difficult to describe it, and it probably is, but I realized later on - that it's also because each answer was as unique as the person giving it." He continued as the fish swam away from his hand, returning to their earlier routine as his hand had run empty. I wondered if these incidents were what also caused Keith's observant nature to arise, if it was his curiosity that had allowed him to tune his senses to the point of it becoming a skill.

"Your answer from earlier reminded me of that. It was ambiguous and unassuming, but I knew that you had emotions related to your decision that words can't describe." The reflective man before me stated with a warm smile, perhaps reassuring me my answer was sufficient.

"So, your point is?" I asked inquisitively, sitting on the edge of the pond's limestone wall.

I don't think I'm allowed to sit here either. But since you fed the fish and I only watched, I'm pretty much an accomplice already,

"I wanted to know what the reason was. I realized that people couldn't define the answer, but they could experience it. I wanted to see what made people break free from the usual and how it felt. At first, it was just an interest that I bottled inside of me, but as I grew older and those around me began showing the quirks more often, it almost became a goal to reach. That's why..." Keith said as he faced me with a committed expression. His eyes were no longer reflecting the light but still shining a fiery hue. He stood firm and inhaled a deep breath before finishing his words.

"Thank you for helping me today, even if it was problematic. From now on, I'd like to solve this problem by myself and let my own voice and actions speak." He told me with a vigor absent from his earlier voice. At the same time, he handed me the notebook he'd been writing in throughout the night, along with the pen inside it. I took it with a curious expression and opened it to see his writings. Every single thing I'd told him he'd taken note of in large bold letters, while his own comments remained in small, nearly unnoticeable lettering. While I observed his surprisingly neat penmanship, I couldn't help but grin. He had finally done it. He finally spoke what he wanted and gave me his reason. It felt as though I was now on the right track and that at least I could repair a part of my mistake.

Who knew all I needed to hear is what amounts to "screw off."

As I thought of this, I exhaled a satisfied sigh as I wrote something into the notebook and handed it back to the introvert.

"I thought so too, but if you don't mind," I said as I handed him back his writings, to which he opened it up with a surprised look.

"I know it's a bit selfish, especially after what I put you through tonight, but I want to take responsibility for this. So," I mustered up as much intent in my voice as I could. Keith only gave me a beaming smile as he opened the notebook and faced its insides towards me.

"How could I decline that?" He replied, presenting my own words to me. In the pages of the notebook, I had written a short line of text, mimicking Keith's handwriting in both style and size. The words almost seemed insignificant, and they were meant to be. That's because those words weren't his. They were only there to support him.

"Keep speaking out loud. Because I'll keep listening, alright?" I read out the writing. A similarly genuine smile made its way onto my face. We both began laughing, perhaps finding comedy in the heavy mood we had found ourselves in. Or because it just felt right to do so after a talk like that. Whatever the case may have been, a weight felt as though it departed my being, and my thoughts felt clearer. I faced the smiling introvert, observing the burden I now willingly carried. His face shone as the warm lighting from the pond struck it, complimenting his joyful expression.

Reminds me. He spotted a mole behind my ear earlier when observing me too.

I recalled before I myself noticed an oddity with the young man's visage.

"Keith, did you get a piercing?"

"Ah, you noticed. The light must've given it away." He replied in a slightly embarrassed tone - then turned his illuminated ear away from my gaze.

I'm not your overly strict parent, man, don't worry about hiding that stuff from me. If I was, though, I'd probably look at my kids' internet history - and hot takes on social media more than anything.

"You see, I've tried to break free from the status quo a number of times, in many different ways." He stated as his eyes drifted back to the pond, a content yet hopeful expression covering his face. This was a face I'd yet to see him make until now. And with the orange light still on him and his eyes dancing as they reflected the fish's movements, I could imagine women's hearts skipping a beat.

"You're kind of cute like that," I said in a friendly tone, startling the introvert who was lost in thought.

"I guess that's not the right word for it. Endearing is probably a better choice. What I'm trying to say is; that if I think of you this way, Amanda will probably find you adorable." I stated nonchalantly, only wanting to throw him a random compliment.

Ah shoot, I mentioned Amanda again. After all that talk of considering Keith's feelings first.

I realized in a slight panic, facing the man in question whose ears now turned slightly red and faced away from me with a tense expression.

"I-is that so?" He replied as he began fiddling with his hands.

Never mind, maybe that was the right choice after all.

I told myself as I pondered on a few remaining thoughts. Keith's situation reminded me slightly of myself, in that curiosity both plagued us in our youths concerning love. The difference was that I actively pursued an answer while Keith observed from afar. I considered if the circumstances had been better, perhaps we could've met each other and supported one another's ventures. Those thoughts would, of course, only remain as ifs, and as such, I now had to focus on the reality I created for myself.

"Thank you, both of you." Keith cut off my reflection with unexpected gratitude.

"What do you mean both?" I asked, tilting my head at the wording when a cold sigh emanated from behind one of the pillars on the floor.

"He most likely means me," My dear partner said as she exited the darkness, her arms crossed in her pink hoodie.

She came out of there like an actual villain. Though, I can't take her seriously with the fluffy outfit.

"I thought you'd stay on the first floor,"

"My trust ran out for you quite some time ago, but it seems Mister Kirby took the initiative, so my worry was unfounded,"

Myla said in a relieved tone. Her eyes showed a certain gentleness towards the introvert.

Hey, what happened to all that talk earlier about telling me to take responsibility.

I gave a frustrated smile as I pondered on her earlier words before inquiring about Keith's realization.

"How'd you know she was here anyway,"

"I didn't. I just knew you talked to her when you left."

"I'd still like an explanation."

"Ah, you made the same face when I first saw you two at the cafe. It looked tired but, also content; with a hint of irritation in it." He replied with a kind smile, noticing the many emotions I carried in my expression.

"So you have a "face" when you speak of me?" My partner asked in a slightly uneasy manner.

"Yeah, I also get other physical signs like headaches and increased blood pressure," I replied to her with a ruffled face. She responded with a cold glare, and it seemed we had returned our usual banter. Our scuffle was cut short, however, as a charming laugh reached our ears.

"I think - I can trust both of you with my goal, after all," Keith said with a turn as he began walking to the escalator leading to the topmost level.

"Come on, Bridger. We still have to finish this before moving on," I recalled that the final part of this plan was located on the fourth floor. Perhaps as a final thanks, Keith wanted to visit it before the mall and the day came to a close.

"Welp, sure, why not?" I said, facing both Keith and Myla with a smile before following suit. I could hear a Hmm come from behind me as light footsteps ensued.

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