《Al-Mos... Qui-t-o Live A Second Life》Chapter 27: Repetition
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As I was still immersed in the disbelief and acceptance of what just the system had said to me after I die on Earth... another person was in agony as she can't just withstand the impact of what she just witnessed.
"Hon... Hon.." Haroes... who became the new system for the three chosen hosts desperately call for God, who he thought his husband but no one answered.
"Hon.. I.. I can't see my sons being like this. How.. how do they suffer such fate?!" Haroes.. who was a mother.. felt like her heart was being squeezed tightly as no mother would want her child to suffer hell.
"System... you.. you're saying I.. I had died?" Jant asked the system.. with large eyes just like what my reaction is when I first heard I has been reincarnated.
"As.. the system had said.. the host, Jant Dy has died due to a car accident from the host's world, Earth." the system said coldly, trying to comfort Jant.
"Why?! I.. I and Sister Gail was driving safely... How.. how could we die?!" Jant asked in disbelief as he can't just accept what happened to him.
"Host, the system does not lie to the host."
"Then.. what will happen to my brother? My.. my brother.. he.. he didn't die, right? No.. he... he can't die! Its.. it is fine if I only die... but not him. He.. he wouldn't get the chance to feel a normal life if he would die." Jant said to the system as his emotion surged up.
"You! How.. how dare you kill us?!" Gail asked the system with hostility, wanting to kill the system.
"What are you talking about, Host? The system has not done anything to the host." the system said.. still composed with hostility.
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"Because.. of you! Because of you.. he.. he died along with his brother! If.. if you hadn't just altered my car.. then.. we.. we wouldn't die!" Gail said completely blaming the system with wetness in her eyes.
"Host.. please refrain from your words! More blaming.. and the system will give the host a punishment." the system said seriously, with a hint of killing intent.
"Then tell me.. why do you have to kill us?! Have.. have you ever thought of what would happen to his younger siblings when taking the two elder brothers?!" Gail tried to reason the system... as she had to let out the pent-up sadness that start to drown her.
"Host... this is the last warning! The system will not tolerate such blaming of the host!" a warning echoed in Shine's head.. stopping the latter.
Haroes.. who was inside the three heads at the same time.. felt like her world had already given up on her as she felt like she was the most terrible mother in the entire universe. She... she didn't expect that her child.. would suffer hell at such a young age.
If.. if she hadn't just been chosen by the system.. then.. then her children wouldn't be like this.. she would have time to make them feel loved... care for them and protect them from any harm.
Hearing.. hearing his son saying how he suffer to survive.. his other son saying how much he wish for him to only die in sacrifice for her brother to care for his other siblings being left behind, it felt like a bomb that's able to shake her body and even her soul.. as her decision to be the new system felt like a mistake.
"System... you.. you said this second life was given to me so I could fill out the life I had missed back when I'm still on Earth, right?" I asked the system.. after an hour of acceptance.
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Everything was done already.. and I can't change anything now.. so.. there's no choice but to accept. And that's what fate wants. Fate wants any life form to submit and obey it. I.. a people as well.. never have a choice on my own, so what's the point of struggling? I.. I'll just comply to it then, living this second life.. so.. this life wouldn't go to waste. A lot.. of people out there have also asked for a chance to live longer.. so.. if I waste it.. then wouldn't that mean that I'm trampling them, right?
"Yes, Host. The host is given this second life for the host to fill out the chances that the host missed back then." the system said.
"So... if that's the case.. is it possible for me to turn into a human again, right? I have the current form of a spider, right?" I asked the system, trying to digest the information I have currently looking for for almost an hour right now.
"Yes. Through shapeshifting.. the host can transform back into a human again."
"Really? Then.. that's good. You said I was restarted.. so.. it means I already have gone through this, right?" I asked.. trying to be positive as if I can do it before.. then I can do it more right now.
"Yes. The host was indeed right. Due to being emotionally unstable.. the host has been restarted." the system said.. afraid of giving such an answer.
"Eh? Emotionally unstable?" I was quite surprised to hear that.. and find it not too strange since I was almost sent to death earlier due to being emotionally unstable. It seems that I'm quite weak in terms of emotion.. especially if it's about my family.
"Yes. But the host emotion wasn't altered nor sealed." the system clarified to not make any misunderstanding.
"I know. If it has been altered.. then I wouldn't be almost sent to death earlier." I said to the system sarcastically.
"Then.. are those other two like me?" I asked.. since I felt some connections towards both of them.
"Ding! Information was acquired. Will the host want to know it?"
"Yes. Just tell me." I said without any expectation. I will just accept anything that will come to me.. so as not to have any regrets later.
"The other two chosen hosts have been identified as the second brother of the host and the host's ex-lover." A big surprise was not what I had expected.. since it was not something I can't just withstand to know.
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The timid daughter of some of the greatest spellcasters ever to have lived has found herself in another world, courtesy of magic gone awry. In Boston, Massachusetts, in the year 1935, she finds some kind souls in a hard era. In the heart of the Great Depression, as war looms around the corner, she seeks to find her place, and must come to terms with both who she is and what she truly desires. Author's Notes: Release Note: I recently realized what the hold up is. My current mental state is not compatible with the planned ending. If I wrote the ending according to what currently feels right, it will be a wretched, cruel ending that feels monstrously unfair and invalidates the work of the various characters... because that's how my life feels at the moment. The planned ending is coming out hollow and awkward, no matter how I write it, and so I've been bashing my head. I will finish it, once I manage to either brute force something decent out, or once my head gets screwed on straight. Audience: This story is not for young children - it contains some profanity, sexual content, violence, gore, and significant adult themes. Most of these are handled delicately enough not to upset teens or adults (hopefully), hence the lack of relevant tags, but it is nonetheless unsuitable for youth. It's fairly slow paced, and focused on the development of very human, very flawed individuals. Length / Completion Estimates: The outline currently involves two books. Book 1 is expected to be done with Chapter 43. It'll probably be completely finished by sometime in March of this year. I expect to move on to the far-more-lighthearted Of Gods and Dungeons (currently in progress / on hiatus). Afterwards, I may decide to redo Book 1, or write Book 2, or actually start sharing the story most dear to me, that I've been working on for several years now. Draft 1: Please be aware that this is first draft material. I do intend to come back to do a second draft after the story is complete. If anyone notices any issues whatsoever with the story, please let me know (pm, etc) so that I can improve the second draft. Writer's Pledge: I've taken the Writer's Pledge, meaning I'm commiting to completing this story. I'm a proud member of WriTE, a group dedicated to finishing stories. It will be done! Behind the Scenes notes: This picture was commissioned from an inked artist by the name of DanP. Up until the time of the protagonist's arrival, history has proceeded as before. Some places and characters have been borrowed from wikipedia entries of interesting figures from the time. I will make note in the chapter comments when such things come up. Naturally, I've taken a great deal of liberty with them. In interest of respecting individuals, I've either attempted to portray them as accurately as possible, or modified them sufficiently enough that they're simply an inspiration, instead of a real portrayal. I've attempted to be as accurate to the era as possible, but I'm not a historian. If you're aware of inaccuracies, please, bring them to my attention so that I can correct them.
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2/17 NOTICE: I'm putting this on hiatus, possibly permanently. I didn't want to spam with an "update chapter", so hopefully here and in the story blurb will get enough eyeballs. There are a couple reasons for ending SSA for now. 1) I wrote the next chapter but wasn't happy with it. I've been less and less satisfied with SSA's quality the more I thought about it. Part of the reason is... 2) I am seriously thinking about trying to publish some novels to help pay the bills, since I don't have my other source of income anymore. I have never asked for anything from SSA readers, no money, not even a review or rating. SSA is written for fun to amuse myself, primarily, and I would kind of feel bad actually charging someone money for something as unserious as that. I don't think it is good enough to ask anything in return. To use an analogy from music, SSA is more like a jam session with a bunch of friends. You're just chiling and having fun playing some music. I mean, if you are Mozart or even Eminem, your jam session is good enough to sell, but for an amateur beginner like myself, haha, no. If I want to publish something, I feel like I need to go the proper route of practice and rehearsals, which might be more similar to a classical concert performance. With SSA, I work from worldbuilding notes and a loose outline, but what you are essentially getting is the first draft with lots of so-called pantsing. Pushing out a web novel like this also means it is very difficult to go back and improve things without breaking everything else downstream. I wanted to try this "jamming" approach, as it was a good way to teach me about another aspect of writing, but to move forward, I think I need to hone my "classical" techniques, which emphasize rewriting, or at least, revising outlines. 3) While I intend to try to make $$$, my actual current goal is to "get gud". 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