One of my steps has finally been achieved, but I didn't feel that much delighted as I felt guilty for what I have done.

'The host can now transform its back into a spider's back for 10 minutes. Able to shoot web that contains a bit of poison. Reminder: The host can't fly when performing the transformation.'

'Yeah, I know that already.'

I tried to lift my mood, and the night had passed without me noticing it, as I still get overwhelmed by regrets.

'No. I can't let myself be like this forever! I still need to move forward and live my second life!'

After a night of sadness, I was finally able to lift my mood as hunger strike me once again.

'Hey, how can I perform transformation?'

I asked the system as I became determined and hopeful to be able to turn back into a human again.

'The host just needs to think it.'

'Oh, I see. Transform!'

After I said transform, I felt like my back was gurgling and felt so uncomfortable.

It was like my blood was being boiled at the highest temperature that make my body swell, making my weight heavier than my wings can't carry.

My six legs also felt the heaviness and were about to be crushed, but strangely, my blood gets too hot and moved around all over my body, making it solidify and help me carry the weight.

After a moment of uneasiness, my back stop swelling, and my blood gets back to normal.

A body of a mosquito with the back of a spider, I may look so strange and disgusting.

I tried to shoot web since the system said it, and webs really come out from my back.

It sure feels so strange, just like how a man will react after a long stroke of pleasure, and the web struck some leaves, making them slowly get dry and make a hole.

The web was amazing and it will definitely help me in achieving my current goals.

'Ah! I'm hungry again? But why? I ate a whole spider, so why do I get hungry too fast?'

'Well, anyway, I should find some prey first to survive.'

'Oh, crap! I can't fly when I'm in this state! Everything really has its pros and cons.'

'Ah, I'm too hungry to walk!'

Although I still felt a bit traumatized by what happened yesterday, I already steel my resolve because just like any life form, I need to do everything to live.

There's nothing wrong with doing what someone can do in exchange for life, is it? This is how fate decides our actions.

I strengthen myself and forcibly try to walk to find some prey, but unexpectedly, a sudden pain emerges in my back.

It feels like my back was being bitten, and my strength was slowly moving my body, so I tried to look behind to see what happened behind my back.

I seem to sense a bit of presence from someone, and a strong hostility towards me.

Maybe it's the instinct of the spider I ate, and the connection between me and behind me feels too strong.

As I look behind, a familiar spider was stuck at my back and still trying to bite it, but unable to, because my state seems a bit special, especially since I improve my level.

'Damn you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I will never forgive you! How dare you kill my brother!'

Sudden thought was heard through my head as if the spider was trying to communicate with me, and it seems like it was filled with hatred and sadness.

I, once again, felt guilty and don't know what should I do, as I face the brother of the prey I had eaten.

I don't know if I should counterattack or just let him attack me, but.. I.. I never had a choice of my own, do I?

Do I look like I want to kill anyone?! Do I look like I don't have a heart?! All I did was survive, so why do I always feel like this!

'I'm sorry... I'm sorry.. but.. I.. I have no choice, do I? I.. also want to live.. just like you!' I tried to use the blood flowing in my body to communicate with him, as I try to shake him off me.

'But.. why did my brother?! There's.. there's a lot of prey out there.. but why... why... why do you need to kill.. my brother.. of all the prey.. why my brother?!' the spider continues to bite me again, but this time I evade his attack and face him, face to face.

'I'm.. sorry. I'm... sorry. I don't know anything.. I just need to live so I'll do everything. Please, I'm sorry!' I said as possible as I could to hold back my tears and emotions.

'I'll never.. forgive you!' the spider seems to sense that it can't defeat me, so he seems to get given up and just throw what he feels about.

'I'm sorry.' I never felt this, since I never meet the family of the victim I killed or I just don't remember meeting them, so this is.. this is the feeling of being a murderer, isn't it?

'Tha...thank you... Thank.. you... for killing my.. brother.' the spider seems to have changed its emotions, and it totally caught me off guard.

'What.. what are you saying?! You.. why.. thanking.. me, I killed.. him.. so why.. you... thank me? Please, don't.. act.. like this! It's... making me.. feels more guilty.' I said to the other spider since I can't know what I should do and say here.

'No, thank.. you.. really. You... make my... brother have peace. I never know.. how to thank you. And please... do me... a favor?'

'What.. is it?'

'Kill me.. too.'

'What?! Why.. why making me kill you?'

'I want to die.. from.. the same killer.. of my brother.'

That, I don't really know how to answer that, nor what do I do, since I never felt that way.

'Please... Please... kill me.' the spider seems to beg me, and I don't have a choice, so although reluctant, I kill him.

A vague memory just like what happened yesterday repeated.

A white memory blocks my eyesight as if I was placed again in a different body, and then let me see the scenario.

The spider I eat yesterday was in front of me as if trying to chase away my other brothers from eating me.

'you okay?'

'Yeah, thank.. you, brother.'

'you don't need to be so wary of me? I'm not like them. I'll protect you, so don't betray me, okay?'

'ye..yes!'

The scenario becomes white again, before returning to another scenario.

A scary and strong-looking ant seems to want to bite me, and I'm too scared to fight back, fortunately, my brother saves me.

He took the bite of the ant, which make him a bit paralyzed, but he still manage to kill the ant, although almost lost his life.

Another scenario was presented in my eyes again, and I saw a mosquito, fighting my brother.

I want to fight, I want to help my brother, who tried to protect me with all his might, but he warned me to never go out of the place I was hiding, and die in front of my own two eyes.

He's the one who's dying, but with that, he still tried to protect me.

The memory ends after that.

'So.. so.. he tried to protect his.. brother, while.. fighting... me yesterday?!'

'How.. brave he is? Will.. I... be able to act.. like that?!'

Sadness and grief once again drown me, but this time, it's not as bad as yesterday since I.. I just did that.. to survive.

'Congratulations to the host for killing another ordinary spider. Able to obtain another part of the spider that was able to mimic: Head. Host level increased by 0.3'