《Mark of the Lash》Anxiety in the Sheets
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With a grunt, Werond pushed herself off Serena and rolled onto her back, breathing a deep, satisfied sigh; she laid a hand on Serena’s bare thigh, slick with sweat, and grinned as she felt her tremble, still trying to catch her breath.
“You okay?” Werond asked.
Serena raised a weak hand and waved her off, her silent panting leaving a smirk on Werond’s face.
The walk back had been uneventful, streets thinning of people, the cold air driving most indoors. Occasionally, Werond felt the thudding of Serena’s heart against her arm, each beat filling her body with anticipation. By the time they’d arrived back home, Werond sprinted up the stairs, pulling Serena along behind her, whisking her into her bedroom.
By the time they’d finished, she’d lost track of time. Werond swore that the bells had tolled just a moment ago, but she couldn’t remember. She’d wanted to ask Serena, but from how far back her head was buried in the pillows, Werond knew that she was in no state to remember either.
Werond pushed herself up and waited for her own breathing to steady; she reached to the nightstand to the right of her and adjusted the vent on the lamp sitting atop it. Light flooded out and illuminated the one room she’d missed so dearly.
She’d almost fallen asleep the moment they laid down in her bed. Headboard shoved against the wall, it was the first thing Werond saw when she entered her room, its legion of pillows and blankets almost more inviting than Serena. Across the room, situated atop a thick carpet that covered the hardwood, a towering bookshelf, standing wooden cabinet, and large desk and mirror were lined up together against the wall; a vast majority of Werond’s most used and prized possessions lay tucked away within the doors and shelves, and just the sight of the furniture quelled any anxiety that plagued her.
On the left side of the room, the door to her closet and bathroom remained cracked, Werond’s caravan clothes still laying on the floor where she’d shed them just hours before. Across the room, paned doors were pulled open, offering a view of the streets and buildings below. Next to them, tucked into the corner of the room, a small set of table and chairs stood alone, unused since Werond had left; in the opposite corner, a larger chair, one more at home in the living room than her bedroom, sat at an angle facing the room, an unfinished book laying upside down upon its cushions.
Pale moonlight shone onto the small balcony, pouring halfway into the room, clashing with the soft orange glow of the lamp. A gentle breeze blew through the opened doors, sending a familiar shiver through Werond.
It was good to be back where she belonged.
Werond tore her gaze away from her room, and looked down at her bedmate, unable to suppress another grin. Serena lay amongst a nest of blankets, head propped up on multiple pillows. Her brown hair lay out of its usual low ponytail, draped messily over her face. Beads of sweat glistened across her bare, pale body, and as her hands relaxed around the pillows, Werond could make out sweat stains against the cases.
She could have stared forever, never tiring of the sight before her. The curves of Serena’s body, every inch begging for Werond’s attention; the paleness of her skin, contrasted against her nails, painted black; the tangle of hair that called for Werond’s fingers to brush; the gentle rise and fall of her chest in the lamplight; the blush that covered her face and long, pointed ears, sticking out against the pillows; the O of her red lips, calling for Werond’s own – a painting come to life, sprawled out on the sheets, all for her and her alone.
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Heart in her throat, smile upon her lips, Werond tore her gaze away from Serena, and stared out the balcony, ignoring the heat that spread across her face and chest.
“Painting come to life.” She mumbled to herself. “Where did that come from?”
And yet, as the blush creeped into her face, Werond couldn’t deny the comparison.
She turned back to Serena and after another moment of staring, began to brush the hair from out her face. As she did, the light from the lamp shone off the moon pendant that was still strapped around Serena’s neck, turning its normal silver into a pale gold.
Try as they might, Werond couldn’t figure out how to remove Serena’s choker; she’d wanted unfettered access to her throat, her favorite spot to place her lips, yet the fastener refused to budge. Not even Serena could pry it off, much to her confusion, and though it didn’t stop Werond, it did prove to be a minor distraction.
As she brushed away the last strand of hair, Serena’s eyes fluttered open. Pools of ocean blue gazed up at Werond, and as she gazed back, the blush that remained across Serena’s face deepened.
“Welcome back.” Werond said with a smirk.
Without a word, Serena rolled to her side, and wrapped her arms around Werond’s waist; Werond giggled as she felt Serena’s lips against her hip before she turned and pressed her hot cheek against her.
“Someone’s clingy. Was it that good?” She laid a hand on Serena’s back, stroking her fingers across it; Serena nodded. “Glad to hear. I’m going to grab some wine. You want a little?” Serena nodded again.
As Werond began to slide off the bed, Serena clung tighter, enough that Werond began to pull her along.
“Uh, darling, I need to hop off to get the wine. I’ll be right back.” Werond said.
Serena gripped her tighter despite her words. Werond hesitated, unsure of what Serena was doing; as she began to speak, Serena suddenly released her waist, and rolled onto her back.
“What was that?” Werond said with a bemused grin. “I’d love to go again, but I’m a bit exhausted darling.”
Through half-closed eyes Serena stared at her, blush still deep across her face. She turned away and scratched her chin, suddenly unable to meet Werond’s gaze. Werond shrugged and hopped out of bed.
She hunched over as another breeze blew through, goosebumps spreading across her bare skin. Werond clutched at her chest as she jogged across the room to the cabinet; with one hand, she yanked open one of the doors and pulled out a half full wine bottle and two glasses. She placed them on a small bar built into the cabinet and ripped out the corked stuck in the bottle; she mumbled a curse as she shivered, almost spilling the wine as she filled each glass.
Werond turned and began to job back to the bed; Serena had pushed herself up, propped against the pillows. Lamp light flicked off her body, casting odd shadows against the wall, framing Serena as though she were an old oil painting.
Heart fluttering, Werond reached the bed and handed a glass to Serena, who hesitantly accepted it; a frown was drawn across her face, as though some hidden thought was worrying her. She did not look at Werond as she climbed back into bed, pulling the covers over her chest. Instead, Serena stared at the glass clasped between her hands, covers still thrown aside, the chill of the night ignored.
Werond’s heart jumped again, this time from concern.
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“Gods, it’s freezing, should have closed the doors.” Werond said. “I don’t know how you go without them. Do you make yourself warm on purpose?”
No answer came from Serena’s fingers, still clasped around the glass. Werond’s chest tightened, and she leaned closer.
“Darling? You in there?”
Serena blinked. She turned towards Werond, a distant look in her eye.
“Did you hear what I said to you?” She asked, sipping from her glass.
“I…didn’t, no.” Serena signed with one hand; the words formed slowly in Werond’s mind, Serena’s fingers moving as though she’d forgotten her signs.
Werond leaned back and placed her glass down on her nightstand.
“I can tell.” She said, scooting closer to Serena. “Most people are happy after their first time. Well, in a way. But you’re acting odd if you don’t mind me saying that. Is something the matter?”
Serena’s eyes flicked away from Werond; her fingers began to curl into a sign, but she dropped her hand as soon as the words began to form.
Before Werond could ask, Serena tipped back her glass and swallowed half of her wine in one giant gulp. She grimaced and sucked in a mouthful of air and raised the glass to finish it off.
Werond shot her hand out and grabbed Serena’s arm, holding it in place. With her other, she plucked the wine glass from Serena’s hand.
“O-kay,” Werond said; she twisted around and set it next to her glass, still full. “see, you’re making me worried now.” She turned back. “You need to talk to me, right now. Are you feeling alright?”
The deep blush across Serena’s face refused to leave; she wiped her mouth off and turned away, Werond catching a look of embarrassment in her eyes.
Worry began to gnaw at her; it wasn’t like Serena to be at a loss for words.
She reached out and laid her arm around Serena’s shoulder, pulling her in; heat seemed to cascade from her body, enough that Werond tugged down the blanket around her chest.
“Serena,” Werond said, voice quiet. “please talk to me, you’re making me worried. I don’t like it when you’re like this, I don’t know what to do. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”
“I-I know,” Serena sighed, unable to meet Werond’s gaze. “it’s not you it’s…sorry, I don’t know…”
“Are you feeling okay? Did I hurt you somehow?”
“N-no.”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Did you say yes because you felt like you had to?”
“What? No…no.”
“Do you regret anything?”
Serena finally looked at Werond, confusion etched across her face.
“Why would I regret anything?” she asked, a genuine question. Werond shrugged.
“Sometimes you think you want something, and when you finally get it, it isn’t that great. It happens. You said you’ve never done any of this before. Do you regret that it was with me?”
“No!” Serena signed, loud enough that Werond believed her. “No, I’m…glad it was with you, but…”
“But?”
Serena’s hands froze against her chest, fingers curled into her palms. Werond sighed, and slowly began to scratch Serena’s arm.
“Darling, you can talk to me about what’s worrying you. I won’t get mad about anything. Even if you said you didn’t like it. I want to make sure you’re alright and comfortable, and I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me. So, please…but what?”
With a sigh, Serena dropped her hands into her lap, and squeezed her eyes shut. She fidgeted against her arm but never pulled away from it; Serena’s hands twitched and jumped, as though she were working up the nerve to speak. A thousand words died on Werond’s lips as she waited, anxiety growing worse with each flicker of the lamp light, with each jerk of Serena’s hands.
Her heart leaped into her throat as Serena finally turned back and raised her unsteady hands, fingers forming into quiet signs.
“I uhm…don’t know what this makes us.”
Werond cocked an eyebrow.
“That’s it?”
She winced; her mouth moved faster than her head, but Serena didn’t seem to notice.
“Yeah. I mean…Mom talked about people who did uhm…all that, she knew them at the bar, and they didn’t…”
“Oh. Oh.” Werond couldn’t help but grin. “Serena, there isn’t anything wrong with sex outside of marriage. It just comes down to the person. But if you weren’t comfortable with that –”
“No!” Serena sighed; Werond’s smile dropped as Serena’s tense voice filled her head. “No, I don’t care about that! Mom and Dad had me and they’re not married, I don’t care. But they…promised to stay together, and promised to stay in Mirabar, and they’re still up there. They talked and made promises and figured out what they wanted and…we didn’t…talk about it beforehand or anything, and…I know what I want, but…I don’t…”
The anxiety melted away as the pieces finally clicked for Werond.
Serena sucked in a deep breath; from the lamp light, Werond realized her hands were shaking.
“I don’t know what any of this is or-or what to do afterward, and I’m afraid…I’m nervous…”
“That this was all I wanted?”
Serena fell silent. She dropped her hands and nodded.
Werond cursed herself under her breath; how caught up in her own desires had she been, to completely miss something this important to Serena?
“Serena, it’s not like that at all, I promise.” Werond said. “Maybe it was at first, when I had just met you, but I don’t…I didn’t do any of this just to do it. I do think I got ahead of myself, and for that, I apologize. Normally, uh…alcohol makes things better, but I didn’t take into consideration all this being your first time with…well, everything. I didn’t really know that you wanted to talk about all this first, and I should have made sure about, well, all of it before I just…jumped you. But back there, when I said I wanted to keep going, I meant it. With everything. I enjoy being around you, and I hope you feel the same. I’d like to be with you still, and not just for all this…as long as that’s something you want too, darling.”
“Yes, I –” Serena signed instantly. “Yes.”
“Well, I’m happy to hear that. Not sure how the others are going to take it, but I suppose that doesn’t matter, huh?”
Serena nodded.
“So, nothing to worry about, right?” Werond leaned in and smiled. “I’m not going anywhere…so long as you want me around.”
Serena met her gaze. “G-good.”
The lamp light reflected from her eyes; with a start, Werond realized that they were glassy.
“Oh, my goodness,” Werond said, still grinning. “darling you’re a bit too emotional sometimes. Were you this worked up by this?”
“S-sorry.” Serena signed, looking down.
“No, don’t be, that was rude of me.” Werond brushed a tear from Serena’s cheek. “Alcohol is making me rude again. Has this been on your mind for a while?”
“I…n-no, I just,” Serena smiled apologetically. “had the thought after…all this.”
“Are you sure?”
“I…” Serena sucked in a breath and wiped her hand across her face. “Yeah. I was…nervous about everything, but it…didn’t really cross my mind until…the tavern, I guess. And then you did everything and…”
“Well, aside from me then, we can blame the wine too. Probably means we should turn in anyways, I’m a bit…exhausted.”
She turned, pulled her arm away from Serena, and closed the vent on the lamp, plunging the room into darkness.
With a grunt, she scooted down and flopped against the pillows, propping her head up slightly. As she did, Serena laid down next to her; she pulled herself close, and laid her head on Werond’s chest, draping an arm across her.
Immediately, Werond began to sweat from the blanket and heat that poured off Serena. She shoved the blanket down to her legs and wrapped an arm around her.
“Gods, you’re so warm,” she murmured. “don’t even need covers with you around.”
“Sorry.” Serena signed with one hand in the corner of Werond’s eye.
“Don’t be. I like it.” Werond kissed the top of Serena’s messy hair. “Goodnight darling.”
“Goodnight.”
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