Opening my diary, I began jotting down the main points told to me before they sent me back.

‘Lady Sofia, remember. First, the more you change the past, the less relevant your future information would become. Although you won’t realise it in the short term, the rebound from the river of time is not something to be underestimated. I can be said to be speaking from experience at this point.’

‘If you change something, the change would come to bite back in some form to prevent changes the best way possible. If you truly want to change something, pick a good point and keep attacking it without faltering to make something a wave with increasing momentum.’

‘Second, although we know the general range, we don’t know the exact time you’ll be sent back to. This one’s mostly because we never tried it on you, and this method is slightly different from what I used on myself. Naturally, there are chances it may fail, but given the method itself and the principle is the same, I don’t think that would be the issue.’

‘Third, everything exerts its influence. Even if you’re doing nothing. The reasons for it can be many, and I don’t have a good explanation for it.’

‘Lastly, get somewhere to lie down and sleep. Maybe even for days. As for this, I think I won’t need to explain it much in a while. As for what you’ll be able to remember, it’s like a marsh, if I do say so myself. The memories which are recent, for both present and past, or ones that have the greatest impact on you would be on the surface, while rest would be blurry and incoherent. You’d need to forcefully excavate it or have something tug on it till it becomes clear.’

‘And remember, don’t lose yourself in doubt that it isn’t me. That may be true, that may not be. I don’t know. Nor did I ever care. All I know is, it’s a part of me now.’

‘So, Lady Sofia… Little Amelia, take care. Yourself, William, Aria, and everyone else. Don’t do everything by yourself like you’re now. And don’t be in a rush. It won’t do you any good. Sometimes it’s just better to sit back and enjoy. Now go! And take care of those two for me!’

Before I could question him regarding his lacking explanation, a bright light filled my vision and I was sent back here. Heh. Caring. To be fair with him, I did sort of… request for his help after that incident.

Jotting down all the useful information in my recollection, I began recollecting and organising my memories.

However, to my dismay, my memories were in a mess. A jumbled puzzle which I couldn’t hope to unravel. Thus, I dropped the idea.

Taking a step back, I began thinking over the stuff I didn’t understand. And then, I had a sudden, slightly painful realisation about what that man meant by lying down somewhere and sleeping. My head was becoming muddled with a searing headache.

Damn! I don’t have time to deal with this headache. My time is limited. Ugh!

Gritting my teeth, I endured the pain to the best of my ability as I started recalling my memories.

The time right about now will be of relative peace because of the recent treaty. And we would move out to a nearby city. It’s supposed to stay peaceful until the invasion and the next great war is in around half a decade. That’s where mom died. And dad passed away soon after. So maybe that is when— Aargh!

My spitting headache became too severe for me to endure. The world seemed like it was spinning, similar to the times when I had a few too many bottles to drink, but much worse.

I should’ve listened to him. He told me he did this hundreds of times. Haha… that wasn’t funny damn it!

A bitter smile flashed on my face as I closed my diary before placing it under my pillow and shut my eyes. Within moments, all the pain faded to tranquillity as I embarked on a journey to the land of dreams.

Zack’s Perspective

I… I killed someone. No, that thing did. Even then, why did I feel so happy about it? Like it was something I was waiting to get for quite a lot of time and finally got it. Would that man still be alive if I didn’t say anything? Is his death my fault? Was I the one who caused it? But why? …Why? Why?!

My mind went numb as I couldn’t help feel disgusted at myself. I didn’t want to admit I was the one who borrowed that thing’s power to do it; that I was the one responsible for all this. I felt sad about the fact that he died and the rest of the people who came with him died as well. More than that, I felt that the man named Burt, he died in a way no one should’ve.

Yet it felt so natural to me that he died while suffering till the end. I knew that deep inside; I felt happy.

My insides couldn’t help but twist in disgust at this contradiction.

My morality and dislike to fight was standing against the sense of satisfaction and relief I felt at that man’s death.

I could vividly remember his blood splashing everywhere and the crooked smile I made at that time.

I could vaguely make out two voices from within — one saying it was all my fault, while other pushing it over to the ‘thing’ which took over and I did nothing.

Time flew by as drops of rain fell one after another. Although I sat under a tree for shade, I was half drenched. My body felt stiff to touch, my fingers being even colder.

However, what was worse than any of those was my heart, frozen like a block of ice.

A sense of loss and emptiness filled my blood and bones, coursing through every nook and cranny of my entire being.

Drops of water fell, the clouds went dry. Winds kept blowing till a lull. The forest around was silent, as if dead. And the two people staring at me observed me silently, not making a noise. The two voices within tried to coax me into what they said, yet I couldn’t accept any as they argued till both mixed into one another.

I too kept staring at my palm, each line it held within, every action it did.

A blurry figure of a woman lightly grasping my hand flashed through my mind. I couldn’t make out her features, nor the words she said. All I remembered was the lingering warmth that I felt.

After what felt like an eternity, a smile crept up my face. Within the vast emptiness flooding my body, I found the light I needed.

A feeling which seemed to burn me from within, eating away at me. Devouring me. It was gratifying, yet at the same time, agonising. But it was the only way for me. Only way for me to be me. And I too closed my eyes, accepting it. Accepting the dark side of me. The real me.

Letting out a turbid breath, my emotions felt still as a lake, without a single ripple.

That man… he deserved it. No, all the people who died deserved that. And there are even more people out there who deserve to be killed. All those who killed my mother deserve to be killed. The whole world is not free of this. If any of those who kept on watching while it happened did anything, be it during or after. And I, too, naturally am not free of this sin. Instead, I have the biggest share in this.

My sin — being weak and being used by those people. And my resolve — kill every single one of them. Especially the man who led this and killed my mother with his own two hands — Vordarik. Until then, I am not a worthy son, not worthy to know the past, and not worthy to be forgiven.

My fist clenched as a weak smile spread across my face.

I recognised the feeling I felt — Hatred.