What the— The rate at which the arcana is flowing is… it’s too much. I can’t handle it.

The thin as silk strands immediately grew in both size and number. It was at least fifty times the amount I would normally absorb. I could feel my sternum hurting. My skin was boiling over, like thousands of tiny razor-ants were using razor-sharp claws to dig my chest open from inside.

While trying my best to regain control of the flow, I kept on cursing the maker of this nonsense and the me from past who chose this book of misfortunes.

The pain made me blank out for a moment or two more than once, where the energy within me would go haywire. Panic filled my actions and I couldn’t make left from right because of the dizzying sensation of the sheer quantity of arcana treating my body as a racing course.

Thump… Thump… Thump… Thumping filled my ear while I could feel blood coursing through my veins. My chest hurt and a metallic scent filled my nose.

My thoughts came to a crawl, and I couldn’t feel my body.

Is it… over? Am I… finally dead?

Heaving an inward sigh, I let go and was giving in to the peaceful nothingness.

However, at that instant, a loud sound — a roar which seemed to originate from who knows where — penetrated through to my soul. It sobered me up enough to get my brain churning. Before I could do anything, my thoughts started to flow towards why I was struggling this hard to get stronger.

I… I wanted— no, I still want— to get stronger. My dad, he was an amazing man. A formidable knight, a good husband and best father I could hope for. Even when I picked up this book of misfortunes, he shielded for me going as far as to leave his family and comfort behind. But… then he fell ill and scummed to depression. Seeing the hero I admired fall broke my heart a little. Why? He was powerless.

And… so was I, unable to do anything. Nothing when dad decided to leave. Nothing when those close to me died. And even nothing to help Zack get better. Neither in the past, nor now. Just until when will I be useless? Even now, all I have is because of mom’s and dad’s connections. Nothing is done by truly me alone. And if I keep on doing nothing, it will all… disappear like always.

I… I don’t want to see anything like that again. I don’t want to keep relying on others while hoping for miracles. Instead, like dad, I will create miracles! Doesn’t matter what, I’ll do it!

I… I WILL HOLD ON! I want to cure that old man and see his careless smile once again. Then, I’ll beat him to the ground as a payback for all this time. Following his example— No, even going beyond that— I will be a knight strong enough to protect everyone’s smiles, to see them laugh!

But… for that, I can’t die here, right? Am I that pathetic to give up and die because of a mere excess of arcana? AM I, SAMUEL, THAT MISERABLE? SCREW IT. IT’S ALL OR NOTHING.

Feeding on anger and reckless courage, I made one last all-or-nothing attempt, betting that I could take a hold of it before I burst like a bubble of blood.

Zack’s Perspective

I tried to imitate Samuel sitting there, meditating. Excitement and anticipation filled my heart as I closed my eye and sat there cross-legged.

I hope this works! I wanna try using magic! Magic is so cool!

However, even after half an hour, there was nothing different whatsoever.

Am I even doing it right? I guess not. Or something would have happened.

Looking up, I could see clouds drifting in the sky.

Clouds sure put me at ease. I thought while stretching.

The clouds were drifting aimlessly wherever the wind took them. Free and unrestrained.

Man, I wish I can fly. That would be amazing. I would be free to go anywhere.

Looking at Samuel, I thought about everything I did in past few days.

Magic is amazing. Still, I feel Aunt’s way too strict. And it’s sad how Uncle lives. Although he doesn’t show it, the surrounding atmosphere speaks a lot for him. Almost feels like he wants everyone to leave. And just what is he trying to hide? I get that roaming outside in the forest can be dangerous, but that is no excuse for not letting us go in the village.

On topic of village, their stares… Although we shouldn’t badmouth our elders, they… were creepy. Almost scary. Though the old man in noodles shop was good. His noodles were amazing. I wanna eat them again. And that blacksmith guy, he was a real dwarf, wasn’t he?

And, between him and Samuel, that they mentioned something about me being the talk of the village or something. And I am pretty sure this is what Uncle is trying to hide. Though, I can’t ask him. He looks all gloomy every day, it’s a little hard to approach him, let alone talk to him. Still, he looked a lot better when he came in the yard and during the talk. Although Aunt did look a bit shocked when he opened the door, so it must be something out of ordinary. As for Aunt, like Uncle, she feels hard to approach. And I too am scared. I just don’t know what to say. After all this time, I feel if I ask something, it would cause a fight. And I… just— Sigh…

Heaving an inward sigh, I left the stump I sat on and lay down on the ground, still staring at the clouds floating aimlessly in the sky.

Still, something feels off. Really off. Man, I wanna go back.

Thinking did me little to no good. So, I closed my eye after deciding to take a nap while waiting for Samuel to wake up so we could go back.

* * *

*BOOM!*

A loud boom startled me up as I frantically turned my head left and right.