《Gerald the Dungeon Companion》Flying spagetti monster and toy soldiers
Advertisement
Flying in silence as he navigated the shroom-tops whilst filled with self-loathing and disgust at his own behaviour, Gerald wanted nothing more than a drink, or more likely a dozen. It would serve to make it easier to lie to himself and justify beaten up what was essentially his pet or else at least to forget having done so.
He’d didn’t really see himself as a cruel or sadistic fairy, but sometimes dying a few times in quick succession can desensitise you to violence.
It’s because of the damn kiddo..
The only reason he’d been dying so much was because he was getting reckless. Reckless because he was starting to care again after so many years of hermitage.
Being useful and helpful… having a purpose again, it made Gerald feel like he was worth something. Getting all sentimental..
It’s nae like I even wanted tha job in ta first place.. he thought as he tried to retract his own feelings back into the briar-like ball of disinterest that was his psyche.
Probly all gon end up in the dragon shite anyways. It always ends in shite.
Whilst momentarily lost in his own musings, Gerald was nearly so self-absorbed that he had nearly missed the ambush. But only nearly, for he was still a high-levelled fairy after all.
From a spot on the ceiling that seemed to be as inconspicuous as any other, a clump of dirt was loosened before falling away to deposit a writhing mass of larger-than-usual Rottwood worms.
Gerald quickly swerved to the left and easily dodged the trap, of which he didn’t even register it for what it was at first.
What ta flying fuck was ta? He wondered at the unusual behaviour as the writhing mass wetly landed atop the umbrella-like crowning dome of a greenish mushroom tree.
Advertisement
The mass of Rottwood worms then swarmed and wriggled away together in a suspiciously cohesive manner before slinking off the side of the top the shroom tree before sliming and squirming off and under the lip of the large shroom.
Gerald really had to take stock and wonder what the Realms was going on for a moment.
Rottwood worms only lived in the dirt eating leaves and belong at the bottom of the foodchain universally everywhere on land. Heck even a disabled and arthritic Dewphid wouldn’t even bother or be concerned at the sight of a Rottwood worm.
So for the worms to start to show swarming behaviour, deploy ambush tactics and and drop on the heads of charming and handsome fairys such as himself was cause for consternation and no little measure of confusion.
It’s Silky, he quickly concluded. Dungeons were notorious for evolving or mutating creatures into more deadly versions beyond their norm.
Quickly coming to the conclusion that the new and wild behaviour that the worms were exhibiting due to the effect of evolving in the dungeon, Gerald grunted with a dismissive shrug before continuing on his way. But not without a wary eye for any suspiciously wriggly bits of the ceiling.
At least tha’s some of flying issue sorted itself out.
Keeping a wary eye open for anymore dropping organic-spaghetti traps, the rest of Gerald’s flight back through the dungeon was uneventful. He did his usual detour around the clearing as per usual but otherwise there was nothing much to see other than the psychedelic and fluorescent mushroom-trees all over the place.
There were also new patches of fuzzy pink fungal growth on the actual ceiling itself here and there, but in the grand scheme of the developing dungeon it was a minor new feature at best compared to homicidal drop-worms.
Advertisement
What was quite alarming was the small patrol of tiny Toadshroolets that Gerald had spotted whilst flying back. The little squad of eight harmless and adorable looking little mushroom-men were marching in a not-so-adorable military parade with the soft patter of their feet with crude little sticks of unknown origin serving as tiny pointless spears.
Gerald actually had to do a double take and hovered down closer for a good old gawking.
But no so close as to get hit with a flying stick.
But to his continued surprise, the Shroollets homed in on him immediately once he crossed into their invisible range of perception. Not that the tiny humanoid mushroom monsters had noticable eyes or ears that he was aware of.
They then broke ranks from their double file marching and got into a single line facing Gerald before unbelievably saluting.
It could only be deemed as a salute for even as their cubby little arms were unable to reach up to their head-caps, they all had their free left hands across what was their torso before standing up straighter with their spear-sticks held beside them in a unprovoking but still intimidating manner.
“What ta flying horse fuck.. is this?” mumbled Gerald.
Then as if his cursive was to be regarded as some for of military approval, the little mushroom men then all stomped their right feet before getting into the double file and march back into the undergrowth.
It would’ve been quite formidable and impresive in a way, if the monsters were not all barely coming up to the small two foot tall fairy’s shin.
Plus the parting sight of one of the last Shroolets tripping on a rogue protruding root of a mushroom tree and tumbling forwards head over heels onto his back and rolling about haplessly on his round body with his tubby legs flailing, before having to be rescued by his fellow soldiers just broke any illusion of danger or professionalism they posed.
Gerald was starting to really need a drink right about now.
Advertisement
- In Serial62 Chapters
Celestial of the Void
A young man stood at a height of 1.8 meters with an exceptional and noticeable toned physique under his beasts fur clothing. His light-brown skin illuminating under the rays of the sun with an above average face, chiseled jaws, straight nose and slightly thick sword-shaped eyebrows. His brown eyes, deep like pools of honey with a shade of violet hiding within the irises, hinting a mysterious impression. Throughout the span of 3 years, his raven black hair grew past his back, tied up into a simple ponytail.Realizing fate has given him another chance reincarnating into a new body and coincidentally under the same name, Silver. Coupled with his million years of experience and knowledge allowing him to break through the realms with ease. He begins his journey through Desolate Tundra, challenging the emperors of this new world while obtaining a power that none can even grasp.Will he rise to the top and change the era to a brighter path or become another common straggler on the path to cultivation in a once beautiful continent, now riddle with demons and beasts lurking in every corner?
8 125 - In Serial65 Chapters
Mecromancer Chronicles
The war for Endrala was lost millennia ago. But a handful of immortal super-powered Mecromancers have continued the struggle. Zagreus and Jade are shadowcat polymorphs who finds himself at the mercy of three of them, know to mortals as the Goddesses of War, Death and Lust. They need him to find the Cradle and save Endrala from the swarms. New blood brings life to the ancient Mecromancers, but it also brings up old conflicts and desires. ** Notes ** I have this setup as a long series. I have an overall plot and ending as well. I plan regular releases. I want to keep this going and am open to any advice or criticism.
8 213 - In Serial18 Chapters
A Mighty Conqueror
"I found out, the greatest ones. The best. The most prolific ones, were all momma's boys. Yea, afraid of their mother. Napoleon, Alexander, Genghis Khan." Mike Tyson on the Greatest Conquerors. Well, this is a cultivation story about a momma's boy. Will he conquer the known world? Maybe, just maybe. Atuel had heard many stories. All had said that the worst days were accompanied by rain, thunder, and dark clouds lead by powerful winds. Yet, he had found it to be the exact opposite in reality. On the brightest, most peaceful day, did his father disown him and throw his mother out of their home. It was on a sunny afternoon that he went from the honored son of the City Lord, to the untouchable son of the witch. Said witch was his mother, the kindest soul he had ever seen. Instead, it was the Saintess that had schemed for his mother's demise that was filled with a black heart, enchanting the people with a nice smile and kind words. All to take his mother's position as Head Wife. Now, he and his mother must struggle to live and rise from the ashes of their societal death. New and powerful must they be, or death will only meet them with extreme prejudice. I suck at synopsises... No harem. No spitting blood. And certainly no jade beauties... maybe a few jade beauties... Okay okay! There will be jade beauties! But no spitting blood! I will not negotiate!
8 188 - In Serial55 Chapters
Dangerous Love
|Book 1 in Dangerous Mafia Series| Please read this first|A girl who has secrets and thoughts darker than most. A boy who will be the leader of the most powerful Mafia in the world. A past of heartbreak and pain. Brooklyn Lilac Russo grew up learning how two kill a man in hundreds of ways. She never feared death she embraced it. She knows more languages than you can count on your hands. Killing people has never been a problem. But falling in love? That is something she tried but did not work out. Now, will she be able to find love with a man who rivals herself in death and destruction?Mason Enzo Morelli grew up knowing what his role is in the world. Be the greatest Mafia empire known in every town and city. He built his own gang at 14 and at 21 he has to prepare to take over his family's empire built on fear and death. But a young woman who is blessed with the beauty of the gods but rivals the devil comes into his life and messes up his plans. Can they fall for each other while Brooke's past catches up to her? or will the past take the one thing, Mason loves more than life itself?
8 219 - In Serial56 Chapters
Majo Magica
All of his life, Itsuki wanted to be a hero...so that is precisely what he set out to do! He registered as a Mage and started his journey to help anyone who needed him! His first person who needed his help was a young girl with no memories, needing his help in finding an amulet similar to her own. So the two set off on their adventure, discovering many things about the world, and even meeting the thirteen Witches, women of incredible power that the world fears. Schedule: 1 Chapter every Saturday (May vary from time to time) ! Please leave a rating, review, or comment for this series so I can figure out what you like and dislike about the series so I can improve
8 148 - In Serial23 Chapters
The Hotel With No Name
In the hallways of your mind there is a hotel with no name.For years, Naomi Hudson has been dreaming of this place: a labyrinthine, impossibly big hotel for wayward dreamers. She knows these hallways, the rooms, and their secrets better than anyone. She knows the fake people, and the body in the pool. She knows the road. Nothing ever changes, here. Until she launches a blog to discuss the hotel with no name, and attracts the attention of forces beyond even her knowledge: a secret society intent on gleaning everything they can from this place, and, worse, something ancient. Something vast. Something hungry.Don't open the door.(COMPLETED; in the process of editing so if there are typos please ignore them lol)
8 143

