《Gerald the Dungeon Companion》There's rings of holding
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“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, You didn’t even let me finish my offer!” complained the woman with a frown whilst creasing her eyebrows along with a hand held up to halt the naked fairy.
“Acch! I know a quest when it’sa getting offered!” Gerald grumbled before crossing his arms protectively across his chest which also happened to rest snugly on top of his protruding gut. “And I ain’t taking it!”
The lady tilted her head before blinking slowly as she pouted in reply before breathing out a heavy sigh.
“Gerald.. you know you can’t just bum about in my dungeon in… this…” she said as she gestured about the small cave that was so cluttered in trash a hoarder would’ve been proud.
“I ain’t doing no quests!” Gerald continued vehemently with a foot stamp for good measure.
The woman sighed once more before starting to tap her feet and pointedly trying to ignore the horrible sight of the shaking wrinkly figs.
“So Gerald tell me.. when was the last time you even left and saw the twinshine?” she asked as she tried to steer the conversation.
“I dunno and I dinnae care!”
“Well Gerald you’re going have to get out there sometime, and do something productive. You can’t just spend all your life moping about forever…..” replied the woman before walking over to the grumpy naked fairy who’s frown started to soften around the edges.
“I know what happened must’ve been horrible and I’ve got just the job to help you get over it,” she added with gentle hand resting on Gerald’s dirty and somehow crinkly shoulder.
Silence reigned between the two as the fairy nervously shuffled his feet and fluttered his small bumble-bee like wings a few times.
“It’s been.. taa long, and I don’t even know if I could’da join a party again..” Gerald finally mumbled with a downtrodden look whilst looking down at his rotund belly.
The lady’s gentle look quickly turned into one of surprise, before quickly settling on amusement to his sad reply.
“What?! A Party?! No way, just look at you! Hehehehahah! Must be joking Gerald! You’ve got no combat skills at all!” laughed the lady as she patted Gerald’s shoulder.
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Seeing the harsh reaction left Gerald slightly miffed so he brushed off the offender’s hand from his shoulder.
Well, he tried too anyways. Her grip was as solid as a unmovable avatar made from pure essence could be.
“I’m getting you a job as a companion to young kid who’s out there all alone. You’ve got a trove of knowledge which will be useful. But more importantly is that horrible ability of yours.”
“You mean my ReFruitinging Sprite?” asked Gerald with trepidation starting to slowly creep in, he did just die to activate it recently.
“Well of course, I need a guide for the poor kid and you’re available and just so happen to be able to take up on the job right now,” answered the lady with a sly grin.
“But for it ta work-” started Gerald as he tried to back away, with his attempt easily halted by the vice-like grip on his shoulder.
“I would need a bush of yours. Which some unforeseen yet happy coincidence is already there!” said the woman as she cut him off.
“But how would I even know which one ta refruit at? I’ve got dozens of bushes out there! Dozens!” Gerald protested weakly as he was suspecting what was to come.
“Oh pardon me, it’s the one in that direction and it should be growing quiet rapidly right now considering I have insisted the use of Leporian fertilizer to speed the whole thing up,” she answered. Her right arm lifting upwards and then continued on at an seemingly impossible angle before pointing behind her at some random location on the ceiling of the little cave.
Gerald could only sigh in reply, for he already knew exactly where it was before she had even mentioned it. He did suspect something was afoot when a new bush of his started sprouting so perfidiously recently.
“What if I don’t want the job? I’ve gotta simple life here,” he complained.
“What life Gerald? Living in this cave, making your weird moonshine and going about in my dungeon scrapping with the local mobs for loot off actual adventurers?”
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“Aye!”
“Gerald.. you know you can do better things than this, you used to be a somebody,” she spoke sadly whilst taking her hand off his shoulder.
“I am still somebody! And Hey! Leave my precious moonshine out of it!” Gerald complained whilst gesturing proudly towards his homebrew distillery that sat in the corner of his cave. The monstrosity was made from a hodge-podge amalgamation of repurposed health and mana potion flasks from fallen adventurers and some harden monster innards tubing.
“Well you can take it with you if you want, here,” quickly answered the woman before a quick swipe of her hand disappeared away the whole messy contraction.
Then before Gerald was able to protest at the shock of her misplacing his most precious belonging, she quickly presented to him a small ring in the palm of her hand.
The small unassuming ring looked as if it had some bold dark outline. But when Gerald looked closely he could see that the magics inside of the ring was actually folding light itself and he knew better than to assume it was just any old ring.
He looked down at the precious artifact with longing before turning to look at the woman whilst shaking his head.
“You know I can’t take rings of holding with me when I refruit Isaldra, so how about you just gimme back ma still?” he asked with his patience wearing thin.
“Its not just some ring of holding Gerald, it’s a RING of holding,” she replied with a smile as she lifted her hand closer to his face.
The naked fairy was left gobsmacked beyond the belief. For normal rings of holding were already rare but a soul-bound RING of holding was even rarer. It was like comparing a triple-breasted Goblin whore to a pair of triple-breasted, high-fae twins, who were wealthy AND wanting to sleep with him.
Before he was able to utter another word or even react in any meaningful way other than to ogle at the precious artifact, the woman who was now known was Isaldra simple grabbed his limp and wrinkly wrist by his side with her other free hand. She then lifted it up before simply depositing the ring in his hand as if it was some chump change a parent would bestow upon their child to get out of the house.
Upon contact with his skin, Gerald felt a slight prickly sensation before goosebumps rushed up from the base of his spine all the way out to the tip of his dirty toes and wispy wings.
“You’ll have instructions inside and a few things to help you with the job, now it works just like a normal ring with the usual lah-de-dah, except that you can call and dismiss the ring by just focusing on it. You should still be able to feel it on you or whatever finger you choose to put it on even when you dismiss it, now put it on,” she simple instructed him.
Gerald complied with her instructions numbly as he continued to marvel at the unbelievable treasure that was bestowed upon him. Without a thought he slipped it on his left ring-finger before willing the RING in and out of existence.
“Just leave it off, you never know with them adventurer types and mysterious rings of dubious quality,” Isaldra jested.
“Ok,” said Gerald as he amusingly willed it away yet could still feel it on his skin.
“So, do you like it?” she asked with a smile.
“I.. I don’t even know what ta say Isaldra… this is a gift I cannot ever repay you for!” stuttered out Gerald whilst enraptured by his finger with the invisible ring. He can finally lug his possessions about with him when he refruited!
“Oh there’s no need, it’s not like it’s got much space inside,” she replied with a shrug.
Then with a quick little flick of her right hand, she casually beheaded Gerald.
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