Ulrik brushed soot off his tunic. “I have become immune to fire. That's what the auto-fill thinks. Cut it out already!”

“This is the first time I got Laundry, and it turned out to be a bottom-tier job. One out of five by any measure.” Dennet stretched his arms and yawned. “Is it time for action? Who's here? Me, you, Vinnette, that's enough to grind something. Hey, it's Sindze!”

“Hello! It's me, Sindze!” She bounced toward them with a wide smile, waving both hands in front of her till she reached them, at which point she dropped her hands to her hips and the smile from her face. “Is this all of us? Weird. I gueeeeeeessss we can go pretty much anywhere and max out our levels and stuff, so it's their loss, really.”

“Yes, its fine,” Vinnette assured everyone, which itself unsettled them a tad, but was only a harbinger of strange and uncanny events to come. The four had barely started for the walls when an officer of the Super Rare variety approached them with obvious conversational intent.

“Excuse me, Rares. Pardon me for asking, but, you're the ones doing Vigilant Patrol, right? I haven't got the wrong ones?” All four nodded. “Oh, good! Let me introduce myself.”

There was no need for that. Shorter than Tramda but far more impressive in other respects! Blonde hair that might have been called orange! An apron and a ladle! Freckles! Who else could it be but Rhizi Nanem's Valentine's alt, Rhizi Apron? “I'm Rhizi Nanem. Nice to meet you. I hope it isn't rude to ask, seeing as Vigilant Patrol is new and the etiquette must be all over the place, but are you able to farm Chapter 4 of the second part of the story? Or would you be able to with an SR Champion tank?”

“We conquered Chapter 3. What's special about 4?”

“Difficulty-wise, nothing, Mr., ah, and you are?”

“Powerful!”

“He's Ulrik. I'm a Nova inspector. I'll be rating your Nova, so your cooperation is appreciated.”

“Shut up, Dennet. Please excuse his behavior. He's from Dovesk.” Sindze curtsied. “Sindze U. Radalo, at your service. Allow me to introduce Vinnette Melban as well.” Vinnette curtsied at her introduction.

Rhizi curtsied back. “Not at all. I hope we can be of service to each other, if anything. Difficulty-wise, I'm sure you can handle the fourth chapter if you handled the third. Gear-wise, the Enzet pieces that drop there are advantageous for officers who depend on critical hits as much as I do. All of you probably don't want it as much, though I'm afraid I don't know your Skill Stars, but it is a red set. I propose that we hunt it together.”

Sindze clapped her hands together. “Oh, that sounds simply wonderful! Doesn't it, everyone?” She dug her elbow into Dennet's side and hissed, “We need a tank. Say yes.”

“Oh, uh, yes. We can do that. Yeah, sure, great. Right, Ulrik? Vinnette?”

“It would be lovely . . .”

“I accept. I heard a rumor that it would be lovely.”

The party was formed, and if the Rares seemed a little stiff, a bit uncomfortable on the way to the walls, that was because they were. Would an SR mind if they kicked her? Or if they kicked each other? Or tried to play Dennet like a blond accordion? The suspicion gestated in their minds that maybe they had been doing everything wrong and stupid.

“Where are we?” Dennet asked when the five entered Chapter 4 and stepped onto a green and rocky shore that rose and fell, sometimes meeting the crashing waves and sometimes looking down from above like anyone on Tramda or Tramda on Rhizi.

“Here we are in Miss Rau's and Miss Boe's country. Enzet.” Rhizi kicked a pebble into the surf. “Am I forgetting anyone? Oh! Mr. Niu comes from here too, I believe. And Miss Greenhill? No, she moved there after she was born, didn't she?”

“She did! And I'm sure Wilma Greenhill would be happy to be remembered, and her story, though really it's sad for her that it's mostly about Jonathan Brightwater, isn't it? Because he traveled with Cadmos to search for someone, and it ended up being his old rival in the mercenary business, Herman Greenhill. He wanted to know how Herman was doing, but all he found was his grave. Except that wasn't all, because Herman had a daughter he took with him, and she'd been educated properly and later hired as a steward for one of those new-money Enzet families. There are so many because of the werptsboon and silver deposits that were discovered recently, like the Raus, and a lot of them go to study in Archens, like Quircy Rau. Archens is considered a little more, um, sophisticated? Not a backwater? Oh, I'm sure you know what I mean.”

“Yes, that's what Miss Rau told me.”

“And so! The Enzetians want to build up a fleet and an army to guard themselves from greedy invaders and stuff. They hired an experienced commander to oversee ship construction and crew training, but guess what? He's Morado Ven, and he's one of the space pirates who escaped Sadalsia after their leader was killed at Atran Arx, so Cadmos ended up fighting him, of course, though he didn't fight Beryllia Ven when he found out the captain of the ship that carried him out of Fanbaran was a space pirate, because she was lying low and staying out of trouble while Morado Ven wanted to plunder all the coastal nations around here. But really, don't you think the real reason is so Beryllia could be an officer because she's sexier than the other pirates? Maybe not more than the other officers, though,” Sindze finished while checking out Rhizi.

“I'm sure you're right, Miss Radalo. Ah! A Basilisk! Just a Minute! No Tasting!”

The other three officers who had been entranced by Sindze's speech recovered themselves and joined the battle. Red Basilisks meant Infernos, which discomfited Dennet and no one else. Shortly into the wave, Vinnette Melban became morose for a non-elemental reason.

“There's nothing for me to do . . .”

Their guest Storm Champion Taunted all enemies, reduced their Attack each time they hit her, gave herself a 30% Evasion chance, and increased her own Parry. That covered two of her skills. She also possessed a single-target Selfless Redirect that increased her Defense by 24% on attacks redirected in that way, a passive that boosted her Attack and Critical Chance by 15% when below 100% HP (so all the time), and another passive that conferred an 80% chance to heal herself on a critical hit.

“That's what Galeforce Cooking and A Little Taste do. Now tell me about your Skill Stars.”

“No!”

“I don't want to.”

“I'd really rather not, if it's all the same to you. I mean, there's no reason for us to monopolize the conversation, is there?”

Rhizi shrugged, which cheered up Ulrik and Dennet at least. “Oh look, it's time already. Come at me, lizards! It's Done!” Rhizi spun in a circle tossing out freshly baked cookies, miniature cakes, and bread loaves all around, Cleansing debuffs from her group while applying Regen and stunning enemies in a wide radius.

“Why am I here . . .” Vinnette Melban sniffled. Seeing that, Ulrik offered her a handkerchief.

“Four out of five. Needs better sound effects. Er, that is, uh, I didn't mean to . . .”

“A full four? Honestly, my base version's Nova gets put at the bottom tier of all the lists. Down in rarity but up in the ranks!” Rhizi giggled and smashed a Basilisk into little bits with a critical hit from her ladle.

Arrows streamed from Sindze's bow as ceaselessly as tears down her face. Dennet struggled to aim properly when his eyes jerked over to the tank every time he relaxed his concentration. Ulrik encouraged Vinnette to “soften up” the Basilisks before he obliterated them. Whatever their reactions, all the Rares were struck by awe of the Super Rare, a different and higher species altogether.

“So, um, what was it like? Getting an alt of a lower rarity, that is. Unless you don't want to talk about it. Distracting Arrow!”

“There isn't much to talk about, but I don't mind at all. We're comrades, aren't we? Yes, honestly it was a strange feeling solely because my rarity-challenged version is better than my original. That's with lower stats, which just shows you the designers didn't really know what they were doing early on. Why, from what I've seen, Miss Melban has a better Skill Star than half the SR Medics.”

“Oh . . .” Vinnette blushed. Seeing that, Ulrik offered her a ski mask.

“Nowadays it doesn't matter much which is which. SRs barely see any use unless their names are Crusher Domingo or Hemt T. Elf, and there are so many URs now that no player could use them all. It was really exciting to get an alt, but now . . . I don't know. More and more officers come in to Freegate every month, but nobody needs more of us. Put Mr. Axander in a party, Miss Sibyl, Mr. Feablas, a few others, you can do anything.” Rhizi sighed. “Everyone's excited for Halloween. I am too! It's just, I kind of feel bad for whichever officer does get a Halloween version. The biggest event of your career, and a less than fifty percent chance of not being ignored after a month.”

The party slew Basilisks in silence while its members considered that sobering speech. At last, Sindze spoke. “Yeah, but you get soooooo much fanart.”

“Yeah! Lots of fanart and, uh, 'fanart.' I've seen, I mean, there's some really good stuff out there. High quality. Fanart.” Dennet trailed off.

“I saw them too . . .” Vinnette blushed so hard it could be seen through her ski mask.

“That might be true . . .”

“It is true,” Ulrik confirmed.

“Now the best is the one where Cadmos finds these special glasses that—”

“Oh look! Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Dennet, but we've reached the first midboss.” Rhizi's ladle pointed at a fearsome predator of the sea, a sleek form filled with powerful teeth and made of black adamant that seemed almost to pulse as it pushed back against the very sun: Alben Shark!

“First midboss? Enzet has everything. Inferno Strike!” Ulrik examined his damage, frowned, examined it again, and frowned harder. “Wait. It should be an Eclipse. Why is it a Flood?”

“To insult you personally. Barbed Arrow! Or maybe it's because Morado Ven fixed up a damaged robot with his own skills and replaced the cannon, but who knows?”

The Alben Shark opened wide its jaws and sprayed the officers with a blue beam that made Ulrik feel worse than usual.

“Enough of that,” Rhizi said, and to enforce her opinion headbutted the Shark, flipped it upside down, and dropped an elbow on it. The Rares joined in, although they were unsure they needed to.

“You know, I heard there were videos where players said they wanted a report of damage done after battles, you know? So they could see who was doing what and tweak equipment and stuff. But I don't think there's any need for that kind of thing. It's a team effort after all. People might get the wrong idea and say, like, oh, that Harasser isn't doing as much damage as that Champion, and ignore everything else Harassers do. Wouldn't that be an awful mistake?”

“Nobody's trying to get rid of you,” Dennet assured Sindze. “We already gave up on that.”

“What was that!”

“He said all our efforts failed. But not this one! Flames of Dovesk! Wait, that sort of failed.”

The Shark wriggled its way upright and slapped Ulrik with its tail. “Oh, goodness. Are you all right? Be careful when my Taunt is on cooldown.”

Ulrik flashed an upside-down thumbs-up, then reversed it when he realized it must look like a thumbs-down. He was unable to see it himself, his head being stuck in the ground as it was. Dennet yanked him out between bolts.

“Sure you don't want to sit this one out?”

“The earth itself told me it needs blood. Shark blood. Fake Shark blood! Intimidating Strike!” The earth received its tribute that day as rivers of HP fell to the ground, released from the midboss by Rhizi and the Rares, some more than others. The victors stepped off the coast into the arena.

“Wonderful! It's just as the Gear Set Compendium (Revised) described it. This is the best place to get Enzet equipment, it told me.” Rhizi scratched an exclamation point in the sand of the fighting pit with her toe. “Let's make ourselves comfortable and have a productive session. Just a Minute! No Tasting!”

Gladiators entered to test themselves and determine who was stronger, them or the officers with complete Skill Stars, equipment, unique names and designs, class bonuses, and damage auras. Good luck to them. They did have swords, nets, and rippling muscles, which were points in their favor, as well as their Inferno vitality and optimism.

The battle started in the pit ringed by tier over tier of shadowy seats for spectators who may or may not have been spectating at any given time. Tough to tell with all those shadows. The Gladiators threw nets to inflict Speed Down 10%, while the Harassers wrote letters they intended to mail to the developers later complaining about the existence of Speed Down. They also counterattacked, but not as frequently as before till Rhizi's Nova solved that little problem.

“Everyone returned to Freegate when evening came.”

“I'm baffled as to what reason you could have had for saying that, Reginald.”

“Clyse, I merely wanted to clarify that everyone was busy all day, so none of us were able to prepare a celebration for any new 100s.” He pointed to the walls barren of ornamentation and the ceiling rich with leaks.

“I see. That's one way to express that sentiment. Anyway, sorry Sindze, Dennet, Ulrik! We were helping out someone else and just didn't have time to set anything up.”

“I'm sure none of us mind.” Sindze tossed her head. “Getting there was a party in itself! We had a wonderful time, and Rhizi said, that's Rhizi the second Valentine's SR by the way, Rhizi Apron née Nanem, she said we must be good luck because she was getting more reds than usual, but I think that was Lusin's blessing on officers nearing the cap.”

“What a time you must have had. We impersonated a pack of layabouts, lounging around and making noise till the proper persons returned,” Stan reported.

The two groups of Rares compared their experiences. After considering the tedium of standing in the Concert Hall, the melancholy reflections of Rhizi, and a future of farming one particular enemy type in one single chapter all day, they all agreed with Tramda Olex's summary.

“I want an alt so bad it hurts!”