《Imagine Being a Rare》XXII. Imagine the Highest Rarity Being the Rarest

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“Well IIIIII was waiting tables, and you'll never guess alongside who.” Sindze U. Radalo paused, but her audience ventured no guesses and no corrections regarding the proper time to use who or whom. “Rylweadh of Mercy and Surfs Nesetta. Can you believe it? Even the popular officers with alts engage in Public Service, it turns out. I'm not mad at all that I have to endure it. I'm happy to do my part, really.”

“There, there,” Quille said.

“I'm the opposite of happy! Unhappy. That's correct, isn't it?” Reginald looked for a nod or two before continuing. “Our Eclipse exercises were starting to realize a portion of their growth potential, a small portion, when auto-fill stole half of the interested officers!” Clyse refrained from joining him in his complaints, but only because she had nothing nice to say and was the product of a respectable upbringing.

Hyune Giling closed his book, though he did not lift his gaze from it while he talked. “How unfortunate, then, that you have not yet reached level 40 yourself. Opportunities for one-to-one advertisement and private sessions are being lost.”

Clyse was able to respond to that. “What a wonderful thought, Hyune. You may have a real nose for making money. Not that we're making money. ** ***.”

“Did you just say 'so far?' Why did you say that? Tell us!”

“Oh, Tramda, I didn't think you'd be back from your tent this early.”

“Yeah, well. I can scream all I want, but my dispatch partners were right. I should do everything 'better' and 'taller.' Why didn't I think of it before? It's just! That! Simple!”

“I don't think hitting me's going to help, Miss Olex. I mean, Tramda. I'm not in charge of Public Service or character design.”

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Despite Burmin's entreaties, his shins felt the fury. “You're about as tall as Eten! Good enough for me! Right! Left! Another left!”

Vinnette Melban giggled and thereby drew the attention of the entire room. “You sound like Aerywe Beruvo . . .”

“Aerywe Beruvo? Vinnette laughed? Shouldn't it be Aerywe Bride and Vinnette not laughing?” Dennet asked.

“Anyone can laugh, and most players think Aerywe Bride is less useful than the original. Isn't that odd? We hope and hope for alts, and half of them don't see any use. How's it going, everybody?”

The Rares came down from the ceiling and recovered from their indignation at the invasion of their sanctum sufficiently to respond to the Ultra Rare interloper. “Cadmos. Go away. We're doing fine though, thanks for asking. How goes it for you? Leave.”

“As well as ever, Ulrik. I just got out of Laundry and wondered what you all thought of your first day out and about.”

“I hate it.”

It's nice . . .”

“What a hassle.”

“I thought it was all right.”

“The world must burn.”

“There should be different work animations, like a chance for a special success that gives the player more stuff. They could start with a few generic versions, one for each class or element maybe, and update it from there.”

“I'm hearing a real spread of opinions, which is refreshing. The old hands don't have much to say about it these days. Speaking of which, did you enjoy the company? Make any friends?”

“URs are the enemy.”

“Yeah, we tried out some stylish casts and didn't catch anything.”

“So what if they're tall!”

“Class . . . and elegance . . .”

“Ask them if they've considered awakening their inner Eclipse.”

“We all lead different lives, huh? All right, don't let dispatches beat you down, and say hi if you see me out there. Farewell for now!” Cadmos departed and left the Rares to their designs and discontents.

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“Glad I didn't fall for this leveling nonsense, I have to say,” Leaznalo had to say.

“It sounds lovely to me,” Ebulan Prav said.

“I don't like it. Still, we can hardly delevel ourselves, can we? This isn't L****** or E********. Nothing to be done but press on and form whatever groups we can. Right, Clyse?”

“Right, Quille. Right, Dennet?”

“Right, Clyse. Right, Burmin?”

“Uh. Sure.”

“Right, Burmin. Right, Princess Melban?”

“Yes!”

Vinnette's enthusiasm startled everyone except Ipons Ulsrada, whose hype sensors were incapable of detecting anything below 145%. “Everybody's right! I'll be there too, soon, but for the time being, tell me how it really was, because Cadmos knows, but I don't know yet, but I will.”

“You repeat a single animation cycle until your shift's over,” Dennet explained.

“Wow!”

“Bippety bopcha, what's new in gacha, and if you're like me, SirSuccess, your mind keeps coming back to the same question. Has everyone hit the Like button yet? And subscribed? It keeps me up at night! But besides that, I wonder, what about SRs?

“I'm talking once again about Commandment of Hero, and how I noticed how many SRs there are compared to URs, which is half as many. That is, I noticed when somebody told me. I didn't notice nothing, I was grinding! But now I know, and I'm wondering things. For instance, I was making my Halloween predictions internally where you can't see, unless you're my doctor. How's my liver holding up? I realized I was counting on getting a UR and that free Eclipse SR we love so much at Christmas, but now I'm wondering, is that a fake tradition? Is it something we made up, like when I tried to trick my parents into giving me presents for Planksgiving? I wasn't a creative kid, but I was greedy, though.

“I was thinking we'd get Quircy UR and Zimley SR and have a very ZR Christmas, but now I'm not so sure. Zimley for Halloween and Quircy for Christmas? Everything's messed up, and that's before we start talking about summer next year, but it's a little early for that, even if you gotta make all these videos. So I'll leave you to think about it and comment if you've got it figured out, though I won't believe you if you say you do.”

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