《Imagine Being a Rare》VIII. Imagine Pretending to Be Free of Envy
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“Bippety bopcha, what's new in gacha, and it's Commandment of Hero again! Did you miss it? SirSuccess here, and as you may know or may not know, but if you don't you will in two seconds, the next Priority. Recruit. Spotlight has been announced! That's right, it's Bel Felonious, Fastidious, Bel something, but it's Bel! Give it up for Bel! He's a Flood Warper who . . . Nobody cares about Bel!
“He's the old one, so let's talk about the new one. Night. Shift. Lynissia. I don't have to tell anyone about Lynie, I know. Even if you skip every other event, you come back for summer, don't you? Your mom'll be sad if you lie about it. But maybe you didn't read the story because your eyes were busy with other things, this and that, you know, so SirSuccess will help you out. And you can help me out by Liking this video.
“Lynie works at the hotel we stayed at where she tries to drum up business, standing outside, holding a sign, wearing a koala mascot suit that's too cute for summer. The original showed up before that, no explanation, like we need one, but now it's time for her Eclipse version, and that's what has me excited the most. I put together my 5-Eclipse team with Rylie, Hillie, Tenny, you know the ones, and I've been using them exclusively, because I'm lazy. Switch teams based on strengths and weaknesses? You go right ahead, but it's nothing but Eclipse for me from here on out. Now some of you are the same except with Sibyl thrown in. I know she came to you, because she had to go somewhere, and it ain't here!
“So I'm waiting for more information, to see if she's good, and if I want her, and those aren't always the same thing, but sometimes they are. And that's all I have to say about that for now.”
“Hey boss, if we do a good job, can we come to the party?” Dennet asked.
“My Rare friends, you will most certainly be attending. Underneath the tables.” Formal Figro pointed with his cane at the four great elemental tables, red, yellow, blue, and brown, placed in the main hall.
“But those tables have legs. Come to think of it, why don't we use those all the time?”
“Oh, your assignment will be quite different this time. Rather than staying in place and holding up your end of things, you must scuttle around down on the floor and poke anyone whose comments lean overmuch toward the, shall we say, acerbic? A natural response toward another's elevation before one's own, but not to be indulged during a celebration. We wouldn't want Lynissia's spirits to be dampened at such a time.”
“That's so considerate of you! No wonder you were put in charge.”
“Thank you, Sindze U. Radalo. However, I must insist you cease your lounging on that couch the Infernos are hauling in and assist.”
“Why don't you assist, you puffed up . . .” she muttered as she did what she was told.
In addition to the long dining tables, Figro had set the Rares to transporting couches, cushioned chairs, card tables, coasters, and objects that began with different letters. He was already dressed for the occasion in his formal tuxedo and top hat, not that he could take them off.
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“While we work, perhaps you could offer some advice regarding how you maintain your equanimity when you observe the good fortune of others,” Saptres Muria suggested as he set down a small stool. “We Rares suffer this constantly, you see.”
“I am afraid my poise and grace come from nothing but the fact I myself possess an Eclipse form and a UR, though the qualities are separate in my case. I certainly deserve no praise for mental constancy, as anyone might realize who observes how much less supercilious I am when inhabiting my base chassis. We are the all the weather vanes of our circumstances, in large degree.”
“Not him,” Leaznalo said, pointing at Ebulan Prav who was humming while hanging up a banner that said “Lynissia Love!” in bold red letters.
“Oh, I don't know,” Ebulan said. “I feel pleasant when the world around me is pleasant. As for when it isn't, well, when isn't it? There, that's finished.”
The party proceeded according to Formal Figro's expectations. The Ultra and Super Rares had a fine time conversing, chatting, and chewing the fat, and Lynissia sat there blushing for the duration.
“It's amazing to how fast this came. After all, there are officers who have been around longer and done better in polls than ouch!”
“Here's to Lynissia, and may her alt finally be useful. My knee!”
“It's no surprise with how cute she is. Look at her face poking out of that getup. I don't think a single SR is that endearing, and no Rs for sure. Hey!”
The sparkling conversation at the four elemental tables stayed on track with a little help from underneath, even if signs of questionable behavior among the moderators had already appeared. Cadmos, who sat at the Inferno table that day, rose to say a few words to which fewer listened. “Lynissia, nobody deserves this more than you. Don't forget us when you're famous, though! Ha ha. But seriously, we'll always support you no matter what happens, the same as you've supported us ever since the gacha blessed us with your arrival. I hope you never need to rely on us, but if you do, don't hesitate for a second.
“That goes for everyone here, too. We're all key members of one amazing team. I'd especially like to thank Figro, our good friend Figronderus Furs, who put this whole thing together.” Formal Figro tipped his black silk hat. “And let's not forget our Rares who had to hustle to make it happen.”
“As much as we'd like to,” Spenito Niu said to laughs and applause. “Owie!” he followed up to even more laughs.
“Come on, we can be honest for one day, can't we? We love our helpful Rares, like . . .” Cadmos then named every single one of the sixteen Rares, a feat which they themselves might have had trouble doing if driven to the deed, perhaps when making a list of officers they hoped would get what was coming to them.
With that, Cadmos proclaimed the end of the four-table portion of the celebration, and the officers split into smaller groups to enjoy party activities. Over there they pinned the tail on a sectiger, using feathers requisitioned from Adigail Zem's ornate hat for the purpose. On the other side, Local Fisher and Tinni Ilx competed at throwing horseshoes around Dasher Christmas's false antlers to see whether horsey centaurs or rock-resembling lumans were more suited for the contest, though the true loser was a holiday centaur's head.
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A cluster of officers watched their cards being dealt by a wolfman wearing a pinstripe suit and a trilby, trusting the integrity of a mob boss in his Halloween form the way only people with nothing real to bet can. “One thing's for sure, and it's that I was wrong about who's getting Halloweened this year,” Nonneros Under the Moonlight said as he worked.
“Ah, we're speculating already? Out loud, I mean. We all have a mental calendar where every day is marked with guesses for new spotlights and seasonal alts, I know,” said General Anstralia.
“Mental? I wrote mine down.” Jonathan Brightwater brought a notebook out and flipped through it. He found the page he wanted and read it, wearing his optional glasses costume designed to create a charming contrast with the impression made by his enormously tall and tanned stuman frame along with his colossal ax that no member of the other races seemed likely to lift. “First year: Frankenstein. Second year: Werewolf. Third year? No simple witch and pumpkin theme yet. That could be a lot of officers. Perhaps Azinsia. I figure her as a no-go for summer since her base version is already wearing a wetsuit. Also likely is Adigail Zem. Her dog can be a familiar.”
“Quircy Rau's doing well in polls,” said Skaya, who also wore optional glasses to complement her red and black maid clothes. At least one servant in every respectable household had to be the smart one.
“Zimley Boe looks more the part. Or Wilma Greenhill,” Dosellian Urapta added.
“Many options. But assuming a mummy theme, I suspect someone from Archens. Havamal. Merilia. Those are the only two I know.”
“Clyse,” a strange voice said, but no one seemed to notice.
“Unlimited speculation!” General Anstralia shrugged. “Unless they go with the tried and true vampire aesthetic, in which case the choice is tediously certain.”
“True. The trend is toward women, however,” Jonathan said.
“Not for Halloween, pal, unless you know something about me I don't,” the dealer objected.
Dosellian Urapta said, “Indeed, this and the groom spotlight may be our twin refuges, gentlemen. The rest have been given over to the ladies.”
Similar conversations went on around the room. Every non-Rare girl in the game, and some expected to appear later, was suggested as a witch candidate. Over in the horseshoe area, an idea came up about the possibility of a spooky Wild West ghost town featuring Georgia Anne Cooper. “She's the most popular stuman right now,” the argument went. Lasva thought a haunted newspaper office might be a fresh, exciting location for reasons so obviously self-serving that her conversation partners let it stand, alone and unsupported.
The party ended as all things must, and officers retired to their various lounges: the Rare closet, the Inferno gym, the Flood pool, the Storm conservatory, the Quake greenhouse, and the recently added Eclipse museum.
“I don't see Evening Best around,” Leaznalo said as he sank into his seat softly and blobbily.
“The plains called the name of his soul. His soul answered. They say that on a clear day you can sometimes see a horse guy far in the background where enemies never tread and stats have no meaning,” Ulrik reported.
“Excellent, excellent. Goodness, there seems almost a reasonable amount of space in here now.”
Hyune Giling picked up his book and began reading. “Space and time. Tell me, how far have you progressed?”
“Chapter 4, Strategist. Level 12 too, and fully equipped. Except for genii, of course. Nothing against them; simply can't get our hands on any. I was wondering, if it's true we can start seeing some Warp Enhancement material there, which of my gear is worth upgrading.” Quille Treten held out a spear for examination, but put it away when Hyune ignored it.
“None. Whites are beneath even Rares. The Pirate set used to carry new players a good distance, so look for that. What worries me is your level. 12, you said? I would expect double that by Chapter 4. Are Common drops so unusual as that?”
“It's not the drops, Hyune. It's the Sparring Partners from dailies and logins. Lacking those, their progress must necessarily be slower,” Saptres Muria said.
“Ah, you are correct. As it is, I project your progress will likely stall in Chapter 7. I advise remaining in 4 until you have full sets of Pirate gear refined and leveled to 25. That ought to suffice for Part 1, I think.”
Clyse said, “That sounds reasonable, but don't take it the wrong way if I shop around. That's just common sense. What do you think, Saptres?”
“I concur. I will also caution you that your performance will be worse than expected without Fortification. Since nobody bothers feeding duplicates to Rares, your class bonuses are stuck at 10% and your ally damage aura at 4%.”
“Ipons?”
“Yep!”
“Hyune?”
“Though not always the case, tonight I agree with myself.”
“I'm convinced. Who's up for tomorrow?”
During the long, long wait of an hour or so till the next day of activity, the Rares, informed by their first experiences of battle, sorted out their group compositions. First, Clyse and Quille competed in jump rope to determine which group would enjoy Vinnette Melban's soothing presence. Second, they split up the elements with an eye toward proper elemental coverage.
“We should get two Storms if we don't get the Medic,” Dennet said, and he kept saying it no matter how many times Tramda Olex stepped on his foot or Ulrik pretended to steal his nose and hold it for ransom. Exhausted and defeated, they accepted their place in Team Clyse alongside Vinnette and Reginald and awaited the sounding of the action klaxon, which was less of a klaxon and more having Quille burp and then apologize.
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