With her headphones on and her eyes closed, Emily could almost imagine that everything was okay. That the power was still on. That the streets weren’t filled with corpses. That the stability she had regained over the past two—no, not even two weeks wasn’t broken, dashed to pieces by a sword that stretched into the sky and nightmares come to life.

Almost.

She took a shuddering breath, the stale and fetid air making her nauseous. The scent of blood hung heavy in it, unabated by the end of the fighting, even though it had been hours since…

She wished she could forget it all. The meteor screaming through the sky like the angry hand of God, prepared to rain down cataclysm. A nightmare cloaked as a girl her age, its head carved from its neck, showering Emily in fresh, warm blood. The girl Emily had begun to hope might become her friend, completely crazed as she stomped over and over and over—

Emily scrambled onto her side from where she had been laying on her bed at the safe house, unable to suppress the bile bubbling up out of her.

“I’m a MONSTER!” June howled, sounding utterly broken. “I didn’t even think to do any of that! I just did it!! I’m a goddamn ticking bomb, set to go off who the fuck knows when, and none of you can be around me the next time it happens!”

Emily moaned as her stomach finally finished its painful contractions, feeling twice as heavy as she sluggishly fumbled to retreat from the sick. With fresh water in short supply and the scent of blood already clinging to her, the last thing she needed was to get vomit on herself too. As quickly as she could muster, she slipped off the bed she had been lying on and out of the room to escape the cloying stench, and in the main room, she found Gregor saying something to Newter and Mischief, his words lost beneath the music still filling the headphones over her ears. Elle sat alone on one of the couches, her legs pulled to her chest with her arms wrapped around them, and Heavensword—

Emily purposefully did not look at the mass murderer, seated in the dining area. Instead, she stalked over to Elle, and plopped down next to her.

She should say something to the other girl, she knew, but words failed her. What could she say? Everything would ring hollow. Nothing was okay, and nothing was going to be okay. June had proved herself right by murdering Panacea. While Emily agreed that what the famous cape did to June was abhorrent and unforgivable, that didn’t excuse taking her life. More than that, what if there had been extenuating circumstances that mitigated responsibility? If there had been something wrong with Panacea that drove her to do it, or she had been insane, or—fuck, what about rehabilitation? Didn’t the world deserve a chance to try and rehabilitate her, to potentially save God only knew how many lives down the line? Maybe Panacea really had been that evil and couldn’t have been rehabilitated. It was impossible to know now that June had murdered her in cold blood.

June had killed Panacea, and she would kill again. It was only a matter of time. Everyone knew what happened to new Butchers. They were driven insane, reduced to shadows of who they once were. Eventually they all inexorably took control of the Teeth or were killed by someone who would. It was good the girl had turned herself in. Better that than out on the streets, perpetuating the cycle.

A flash of orange in her view dragged Emily’s attention out of her dark thoughts, and she reluctantly pulled her headphones down off her ears onto her shoulders.

Despite Newter having grabbed her attention, it was Gregor who spoke with weariness woven into his words, a bone deep fatigue that could only be fixed with rest they couldn’t afford. “We must decide what our next steps are to be regarding Juniper. My vote is in favor of rescuing her, but we… we must decide this together.”

What.

“Elle, this is understandably a difficult topic, but…” He trailed off as the cushion of one of the empty armchairs began to bulge, growing into a facsimile of June in a position mirroring Elle’s own. “I see. Thank you, Elle.”

Why?

“Mischief doesn’t think Mischief should be votin’ on this,” the rat Changer spoke up, as he—Emily thought he was a ‘he,’ but she couldn’t recall for sure—ran his fingers through the longer fur on his head. “Doesn’t seem right, havin’ just joined and whatall.”

“She shouldn’t either,” Emily blurted, her eyes snapping to Heavensword. If she voted, it would definitely be to free June. If she didn’t, and Newter voted against, they could stalemate at two-to-two.

“I already intended to abstain,” the older woman responded with no hesitation, somehow simultaneously quiet but firm. “Nevertheless it should be known that, if your company does not elect to rescue my daughter, then I shall take all steps necessary to do so myself. If you do elect so, however, then the full weight of my expertise and power are at your disposal.”

Emily’s forced herself to unclench her jaw before her teeth could hurt any more. She turned to the visibly uneasy Newter and tried to will him to say no, to remind everyone they were talking about rescuing the Butcher—that June was, or would soon be, gone.

Her stomach plummeted when an obviously forced grin found its way onto Newter’s face. “Well. How can I say no to rescuing our girl?”

He looked to Emily, and everyone else in the room followed his lead.

Emily knew she should leave. Get out while she was—well, not ahead, but at least before things got worse. When Faultline had come to her under that bridge and convinced her to join, this wasn’t what she had in mind… but what choice did she have? Go to the PRT? She would be put back in the foster system, which was just a different form of hell. Join a gang? At least Faultline’s offer to join her crew of mercenaries had a degree of separation from being an outright criminal. Become an independent hero? How would she get money for food and shelter?

I lose no matter what. Emily forced a smile as she pulled her headphones back over her ears. “Seems like a good way to get more Meteor points.”

She closed her eyes, and for a moment, it almost seemed like everything was okay.