《They never called, yet he is here (censored edition)》Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

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Imagine how fed up I was with my own office, if being stuck in the woods, in another world, under constant death of being eaten by something and with no equipment that would boost my chances of survival, I actually felt like I was relaxing!

No, really, I was having a pretty good time! The fish still didn’t bore me with its taste, I even managed to learn how to smoke it, the water from the river I couldn’t boil, for obvious reasons, but I still somehow didn’t get sick from drinking it. All things considered, this adventure was shaping up to be rather romantic and dare I say even relaxing.

In all seriousness though, it was difficult for me. First of all, because I was understandably worried (as Isekai protagonists are never afraid) for my own skin. This completely unfamiliar world was rather close to squashing me like a bug a few times already, and the first two of my near-death experiences happened before I took a single step on this world’s soil! Needless to say, I felt that I had enough reasons to be concerned for my well-being in the nearest future.

I was careful to light the fire only with dry branches, those barely produced any smoke. I always moved near the river with caution, and started fishing only where the water was clear and the bottom of the river could easily be seen for some distance around me. At night I fell asleep worried, reasonably fearing a visit from the [censored]-skinned freaks who just might have had followed me down the river. In general, I already met a lot of unpleasant things over here. Things, that could kill me on the spot in a variety of horrifying ways, so I was rather sure that I comprehended the real depth of that ocean of shit I was dropped into. My situation really was quite horrifying.

A separate topic would be the grinding, which I continued, despite my laziness and unwillingness to move my ass for an arbitrary increase in numbers. How do these issekai heroes spend their whole lives on hellish grind? No, really, how?! I could hardly force myself to train, the only reason I did any amount of work was because my life literally depended on those pesky numbers in my stat screen! Well, that, and there was nothing else to do here anyway.

It was the training that allowed me to feel the real depth of the Hero title, allowed me to understand that it wasn’t there for show. When I read in my status that it would be easier for me to train and develop characteristics, I had no idea what exactly that meant, the wording was shapeless and abstract, so I just assumed it would be something like twenty percent increase to the speed of my overall development. I mean, I've read all kinds of silly novels, where the main character gets a hundred points in strength just by lifting his eyebrows up and down, however I didn’t believe for a second that something like that would work for me, after all, real life tends to be very different from novels like that. However, despite my skepticism, I felt firsthand how powerful the heroic titles were.

No, I didn't become John Rambo Junior overnight, but I was developing abnormally, supernaturally fast. I happened to try hitting up the gym for a couple of weeks back on Earth, so I know how hard it is to build muscles and develop any sort of reflexes. In fact, that's why I stopped going after only a couple of weeks (the eternal circlejerk of /fit/ be damned). But now I could literally feel how I became better just by exercising regularly. Where before I would have only damaged my muscles for trying too hard too soon, now I would instead see how my characteristics grew. This was undoubtedly satisfying, but when I imagined that I would have to fight and confront someone with the same strength, but who had also spent many years practicing and perfecting it...

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Well, broskies I am terrified and not ashamed to admit it.

I practiced my magical abilities too, all three of my classes were pretty much ‘magical’ if you get down to it. Regular fishing with shadows and just manipulating said shadows for fun (don't try picking your nose with a shadow tendril - I felt like I would die from sheer pain when I accidently tore apart the nostril), trying to make something from the ingredients I gathered (I managed to heal said nostril, albeit it took some time), and even practicing lucid dreaming, though that last endeavor wasn’t that successful. Unless you count being able to rest completely in just two hours as success.

Alchemy, so far, seemed like the most promising class I had. And I am sure that ordinary alchemists, who are not boosted to ridiculous levels by a mythical class, cannot create alchemical concoctions out of literally ‘shit and sticks’. I assume it was my instinct of an alchemist that made it possible to find useful reagents even in a compost heap or in fish scraps. A good chunk of my time I just spent looking for new reagents and trying to make something out of them.

Unfortunately, after those very first attempts, successes were few and far between. I was able to discover new recipes, but it usually required a few attempts. In four out of five cases, I got either some suspicious fluid with no obvious properties, or weak poisons, which seemed to be closer to a very effective lucrative than any deadly toxins (fortunately, I didn’t need to try those on myself). But even with all those seatbacks I was able to make myself a pleasant-smelling ointment to repel mosquitoes and another one to ease the irritation from mosquito bites (unfortunately I had nowhere to store those compounds in, so I had to make it every time I needed it), several antibiotics and anti-cold mixtures, which I wrapped in leaves, creating makeshift pills, the disinfectant composition, which I mixed and drank with water from the river, and many other useful little things. I even managed to make an ointment that boosted natural regeneration, which I was able to use to fix a nostril that fell prey to my stupidity. Alas, I could only make two portions of the healing salve, as it required three ingredients, one of which happened to be a very specific flower, which I could not find anymore.

Time passed, my skills and characteristics grew. Alchemy and herbalism jumped to the stage of ‘Journeyman’, that happened after I grinded each skill to the numerical value of ten. In the meantime, my stealth skill also increased. It seems fish was a viable target to practice on. Fishing, as an actual skill, was also rapidly creeping upwards and could reach a new stage at any moment. Yes, actually, many of my skills were ready to move past the apprentice level. Apparently, the first ten levels in skills were the easiest to level, serving pretty much as an introduction to any profession or skillset.

Even so, the results from those skills were noticeable. Take fishing - where before I acted more on instinct, and abused the hell out of my shadow control, now I knew what I was doing, guided by experience in some part, yes, but also by some unexplainable intuition I didn’t have before. I felt intuitively how to take the right position, where the best fishing spot is, and how to actually catch fish safer and faster. Out of curiosity and just to check if I could, I even caught one fish with my bare hands! It took me six tries, but hey, I still managed it! Well, if I were to be completely honest, with my current dexterity that jumped up a few times, I could repeat this feat even without the ‘fishing’ skill at all.

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Dexterity, yes... The growth of my stats is a separate topic. I don’t even know where to start describing it from. It's hard to put it into words, but I can actually feel how I become stronger, faster, and more agile than I ever was in the past. In my office back at work, I could fuck up by just bringing a coffee to my desk, and due to my clumsiness accidently pouring it all over important files or my own keyboard. Now I could juggle five tree cones at once without even feeling that strain! It came out so naturally, that it felt unnatural. It was as if I had a much clearer understanding of the results that each of my movement yielded, a better awareness of my position in space... Damn it, I really don’t know how to better describe it!

Magical stats also grew, perhaps even faster than physical ones. However, developing them was also considerably harder compared to basic pushups and squats. Every time I used magic, I felt this emptiness suddenly appearing inside of me, sucking out all I had within. Saying that it’s an unpleasant sensation… would be quite an understatement. I also noted that while my energy stat was growing very quickly, the concentration, the characteristic that seemed to be responsible for the speed at which I could perform my abilities and determined how efficient I was with my energy, was very difficult to rise. The easiest way to develop it was to use shadows for subtle work. Like picking my nose, for example. Yeah…

The most frustrating part was the complete lack of combat skills in my stat screen, like hand-to-hand combat or, say, daggers mastery. Intellectually I deduced that to acquire them I had to train with weapons I didn't have, or at least I would need to exercise and practice a lot. And it's not even my laziness that stopped me from even trying, but the sheer lack of time - developing magical abilities took most of my energy, and the results of this labor even looked and felt more impressive. I can develop my physical strength simply by hauling firewood, and my dexterity by juggling cones, but the rest...

After a hard workout with shadows or making several mixtures out of nothing in a row, I felt so tired that it was physically painful to even think about going to the nearest tree and continuously punch it with my fists.

What a complete wimp I am, am I right?!

The exhausting practice with shadows yielded its results, and quite unexpectedly. I was just trying to learn how to create a full-fledged fishing net out of shadows, not just individual tendrils. It is not as easy as it sounds, because the more shadows I pull together, the harder it is for me to hold them under my control. The same could be said about making individual shadows hold a certain form. The stronger the manifestation is, the harder I have to try to hold it in its shape, and the faster emptiness in my chest ramps up.

But at that moment I was rested, full of energy, and eager for some kind of entertainment, so I set to work with the enthusiasm of a government official prepared to saw a few chunks of state’s budget into his own pockets. The first thing I did was to grab a few shadows cast by tree branches and started piecing them together. Then, it was time to form the framework of the net, and that alone made me feel as if hammers were constantly hitting something in my head. Feeling like a weightlifter trying to break a world record, I continued to weave the individual knots together, adding a new shadow from time to time. At a certain moment I felt some blood wetting my lips, that trailed all the way down from my nose, at that moment I almost blacked out. More out of sheer stubbornness rather than any feeling of obligation, I weaved the last pair of shadows, revealing to the world my masterpiece - a leaky, ugly and completely unfit for fishing net that was made entirely out of shadows. And then I blacked the fuck out.

I woke up in the evening - hungry, angry, exhausted, and without a single fish! But the moment I read another message from the System; my sour mood vanished without a trace. Scratch the stats and skill increases, this was my most important accomplishment to date!

Shadow Control: 2/5

Allows you to control the shadows in your field of vision, giving them tangible physical embodiment; shadows can turn solid with certain limits.

I got my first-class promotion, which I really had no reasons to expect. I was beginning to believe that the only way to improve class abilities was to invest points in them directly! Are those the benefits of a mythical class, or is it just me being amazing?

Honestly, exact reasons aren’t that important. What was – is to wipe the blood off my face, preferably without a drop of it getting into the river, and then fixing myself a meal with some of yesterday’s fish. I'll get some sleep, get my energy back, and then I could try out my new acquisition. Pretty sure that If I try to push myself anymore now, there's a good chance I'll have a stroke. Do I need to gamble on my health like that? No, I really don’t.

The upgrade of my ability really was quite something. Before the shadows felt like a St. Bernard trying to tear itself from its leash, eager to run free, but now they appeared almost like a dachshund trying to do the same. Sure, it still required me to hold ‘the leash’ tightly, but the amount of effort required was in another (lower) league.

I also spun a net and caught three fish at once using my newfound control and finesse. However, because the gaps in the net was too wide, two of said river-dwellers swam out without much trouble. The third would have escaped too, but I managed to turn the net into a shadow bag, cutting off its path to freedom. The million-dollar question is; why the fuck did I even tortured myself trying to make this useless thing? On the other hand, if I hadn't tried to do it, I wouldn't have developed the ability. Still, what a complete fiasco!

With new abilities, I could actually defend myself. Now lashing out with a shadow was as natural as throwing a punch. Yes, shadows are still slower, they take time to shape and direct, not to mention the concentration, and I spend much more energy on shadows then trying to swing a fist… But imagine the sheer possibilities! I also tried making a shadow solid, and I can’t say that I was unhappy with the results.

When I tried making a sword made of shadows for myself, the sensation is best described as ‘akin to using your own sinews to make a bowstring’. I mean, it was hard, really fucking hard, especially comparing to just moving shadows around. However, as long as I wasn’t trying to make myself an armor out of this stuff, making a relatively hard rod with a sharp side was well within even my current capabilities. And even just having a weapon with which I can take some wandering goblin’s life, head, and anal innocence (Not literally, hopefully.) felt reassuring.

I tried to achieve the same feat with my other training, only with the alchemist class, but only got exhausted and caught up headaches for my troubles, instead of an increase in class ability. Apparently, I need to be very, very lucky if I were to actually grow considerably with this method.

I wonder if I get any experience for killing fish?

Suddenly trying to farm up to level eighty by normal means seemed much more appealing. I am ready to wreck shit!

As all things inevitably come to an end, so did this period of relative peace and quiet. It’s the sad truth anyone is deeply aware of, it’s exactly the sort of feeling you get during the last minutes of smoke break bleeding away before the important meeting in your workplace. This feeling also washes over you with the sound of the alarm clock that you set up to ring five minutes ahead, it sort of reminds you of bells ringing on a funeral. It’s also similar to what you experience during last days of New Year holidays, which dry up right before your eyes like a spring in the desert. In short, my peaceful existence within the comforting comfiness of nature also came to an abrupt end. And yes, I almost shared this end with said period of peace.

It wasn't my super-sensitive intuition, magical skills, or any sort of fighting instinct that saved my life. It was the badly fried fish that finally gave me a stomach upset. It’s because of that I was suffering from insomnia late at night, even if the diarrhea remedy I’ve taken (alchemy is power!) helped, I wasn’t feeling up for a restful sleep. Due to that I was able to hear the quiet, almost inaudible squeaks and rustlings under someone’s footsteps.

Back home I would never have noticed such a minuscular detail, but the constant search for the right reagents here had developed my perception, and I began to notice things to which I never paid any attention before.

I had been on edge for quite some time, waiting for something nasty to go down. Why was I so sure that something was coming? Simply due to sheer virtue of the fact that it was next to impossible not to find me, if you were passing or living anywhere nearby. I was standing out too much with my campfire, the smell of fried and baked fish, not to mention all the broken bushes that fell victim to my unending search of the right herbs. Honestly, a couple more days and I would have moved to a different location myself!

Well, needless to say, it was too late for that.

But it seems fools like me need to be wary of what they wish for, just in case those wishes will come true. I wanted a fast way to level, didn’t I? Well, I asked so I received, here is one such ‘a way’, approaching my campsite. I couldn't know exactly who was coming for me, but there was a good chance it would be goblins. The wild beasts were wary of fire and the smell it produced, and there was plenty of prey for them in these parts, they weren’t desperate nor hungry. But the green humanoids had a grudge against me, so there was that.

I may have drawn the correct conclusion while also being completely wrong on the bases I drew it from, but scratch that, the important part was that in the end of the day I was right! It was indeed goblins who came for me, three of them at once at that.

History was repeating itself right before my eyes! No, I'm serious! At least one of my midnight visitors, that one with torn ear, was in that trio that almost ate me during the first day of my adventures.

I realized that particular detail as I stood up to my full height and tightly clenched in my fists three ‘pills’ of a rather poisonous powder until I felt the shell cracking. Well, not sure about poisonous per say, but at least it would itch badly if I inhaled it or spilled the powder on my eyes by accident! Once again, I am not jesting about ‘spilling it’, because this nasty stuff has already crumbled in my fist into fine powder. If I did fuck it up and somehow wind up getting it all over myself, it would be the stupidest death imaginable.

“‘ummi!” The conversation was started by an old acquaintance of mine, probably due to the strong feelings of kinship and understanding me and my old pal over there had (thick sarcasm here). “‘ummi iz a lota meet!”

That's what I call a philosopher! Titan of thought, father of drama! A treasure trove of intellect and a living manifestation of spiritual depth! I also understood perfectly what he said, despite the fact that the language was unfamiliar. Another weird twist tied with the System?

“Yo, greenies!” I answer them in kind. “I've got something better than human meat.”

I don't know why, but I'm not scared at all. Maybe a little bit, but it's the normal kind of fear that pumps the blood through the veins faster, not the paralyzing terror. Maybe it's my title at work, maybe I feel more confident because of how my status has grown, or maybe I'm just tired of being afraid. I honestly don't give a flying fuck.

I can tell you now, those little cannibals were gonna pay for my constant shitty mood, for this non-stop fish diet, for fucking Bobik, for my current sad and hopeless situation and for the fucked-up locals who turned Heroes into a resource that they farmed. They were here to pay for everyone and everything, with interest.

“Wat?” The bewildered expression on the creature's face evokes some instinctive bile and disgust as if you were looking at a huge talking pile of shit.

“I’m talking about... “ I pause, forcing the trio to come even closer. They still remembered to keep their spears pointed at me. “...whupass!”

I threw the poison powder into the scam's faces with a sudden sharp movement, feeling the stinging in my palm, where some of the substance stuck to the skin. The effect surpassed all expectations - three bodies started howling on a high note, literally clawing out their eyes. Apparently, I had just witnessed a massive anaphylactic shock.

I cast all my doubts and worries aside, picking up the spear that had fallen from one of them and immediately jamming it into the clumsy creature. At this point some kind of indifferent frenzy descended on me. It was that feeling you get, when you just feel that you can’t stop anymore, that you are way past the point of no return, and you have to keep going.

It was either them or I.

And I do want to live, to enjoy my existence, not serve as someone's chew toy and an appetizer for the brew!

Strike, strike, strike...

I only stopped lashing out when the green bodies weren't even green anymore, just a red and [censored] mess of flesh and bones. I emptied my stomach of all the poorly digested fish right on top of this mess, at this very moment. It was so bad that I thought I was going to puke out my insides. Fortunately, the kind [censored]skins were considerate enough not to let me.

This time it was my intuition, my sixth sense that saved me, because I heard the rustling only on a subconscious level, being too busy pitying and hating myself. But I reacted much faster than I should have, despite the terrible mental state I was in. The reaction allowed me to turn the deadly jab of the spear in the back of my head into a regular, but painful sharp sting with a sharp stick, because I swung myself forward.

With a dexterity unprecedented for me, I rolled over my head, miraculously not burying my face in the dismembered corpses, and with no though swung my broken (when had I?) spear backwards, somehow deflecting the second blow. The flash of pain from the stab sobered me up better than any therapist ever could, even if said therapist happened to be a long-legged blonde with D cups.

The fourth goblin squealed like a pig who'd uncovered the horrifying truth of how the bacon is made, and struck out with his spear again. I ducked under the jab, with such ease, as if I'd been doing it all my life. It wasn’t the famous ‘time slowed down around me’, no, rather I just managed to do more in the same time span I always had. The difference in stats was now in my favor, and it was very clear.

At first, the goblin was frightened, fighting more out of desperation and fear, but when he saw my hesitation and reluctance to attack, he grew bolder. A carnivorous grin appeared on his face. I suddenly realized with absolute clarity that if he killed me, he wouldn’t feel even the tiniest amount of regret or my anxiety, he would just be glad to have a full belly. He, unlike me, probably didn't even know how to worry or question his morality at all. Looking at that ugly face, which already had streams of saliva and foam running down the mouth, I finally made my decision.

Once again dodging the blow, I did not take a step back or retreated further, but instead stepped forward, closer to the goblin, and struck the broken weapon directly into the mouth of the joyfully howling humanoid. Another battle cry was cut short, along with the life of the screamer. The spear may have been broken, but the break point was sharp, and my strength, multiplied by the inertia of the goblin that now rested on the shaft, did the trick.

As I watched the short convulsions of the dying runt, I also absent-mindedly noted the message that popped up after the fight:

Level Up!

Current level: 2

I was about to look at my status, perhaps actually spending points on something useful this time around, but then I heard something that I should have noticed earlier. Goblin shouts, coming at me from multiple directions. It was only then that I realized that in standard fantasy these guys don't wander around in small groups. And the screams of those four must have been heard from far, far away.

Well, that's just fucking great!

I finally managed to stress-test the stealth skill, and as a result, understood how much was really in it. It didn’t just allow me to avoid others' eyes and move around quietly. This skill actually helped me conceal myself! That crowd of goblins below can’t figure out where I’ve disappeared to, even if I did not really leave the clearing. I simply walked away from the fire and hid in the bough of a tree in one single motion. I barely had time to wash away the poison from my palm, before doing all of that too!

Maybe their tracking skills would have helped, but the place had been so trampled during my time there, that there were simply too many trails? No, I'm not arguing that a skillful pathfinder or a tracker would have been able to spot everything that he needed, finding me and my hiding place without any trouble at all. But a badass pathfinder isn't a low-level goblin. The most senior [censored]-skin had a level six and a spear with an iron-ish tip. Fortunately, he wasn't a tracker, but a warrior, judging by his equipment and the way he moved. There were no mages or shamans among them either, which meant that they continued to search, hoping to find their unwilling supper, exclusively by normal means.

And here I was, leveling stealth at enormous rate. I guess that's the reward for the shitty situation I was in. Tomorrow (or was it already today?), at dawn, the goblins would find me. Simply because they'll check the whole area and would know for sure that I didn't leave. No, I could try to convince myself that the forest dwellers who lived here their whole lives, and who are accustomed to hunting all kinds of pray, including the two-legged type, wouldn't be able to find me…

But I'm more of a realist in life.

And so, I sat in complete darkness, waiting for the commotion to die down and for them to relax. The goblins didn't put out the fire, instead roasting the remains of their fallen on it. If I had anything left in the stomach, I'd be puking again, but as it was, I just got enraged. If any remnants of doubt or regrets about my first mass-murder still lingered somewhere in me, the sight of the goblin’s feast destroyed all of that with cynicism. After that… well, the [censored]skins started to eat.

The goblins probably had night vision, but on that front, I wasn’t far behind. I had pretty good perception, in the numerical sense, of course. And observing the flickering savages only increases my stats.

So I sat there.

I waited.

I was slowly building up the murderous rage.

And when just before the dawn, goblins on lookout duty started to... well, not sleeping on their post but losing their concentration, I chose to send the bastards to the happy hunting ground, instead of waiting for them to find me.

High agility, hiding in the shadows that caressed me and the factor of surprise allowed me to approach the watchman staring into the distance completely unnoticed. I had dropped my trophy spear and didn’t think to get myself a new one while I still could, which was honestly saddening. It grieved me because I had to touch the goblin's filthy, stinking skin with my bare hands to break his neck.

The crunching of his vertebrae ranged out like thunder, but strangely enough, I didn't wake anyone, and not even the other guard turned towards me. The latter was the most suspicious, but luckily it was the guards' carelessness rather than a cunning plan to catch me off guard.

By the way, the system also appreciated my Hitman cosplay, cheering me up with two new skills.

Infiltration: 2 (apprentice)

Deathstroke: 1 (apprentice)

Well, Kostik, since you wanted to grind and bend people over, come, eat up! There is so much EXP snoring in their sleep right there, spoiling the air and the world with their presence. Fucking cannibals, how I hate them already, even though it’s the second time I’ve seen them in my life! It’s because of them I have to do this ninja impression, while putting my life on the line. That, and they also want to eat me, which makes their termination a detrimental factor to my own survival.

Before I went to the second watchman, I quietly searched my first victim, trying not to breathe near him at all or touch the rags and skins he was wearing. I hope I don't catch lice or worse from him and his friends. I wouldn’t be able to use a spear for the assassination, so I didn’t even bother picking it up, confining myself to a small stone dagger. Or rather, it was a dagger to the goblin, but to me it was an ugly stiletto that might have been just a little too big for its class.

Well, even a weapon like that beats having nothing at all.

Clutching the barely shaped, uncomfortable hilt in my hand, I advanced carefully toward the second would-be-victim of mine. I wasn’t really crawling, there was no reason to. Being backed by the shadows I made it there faster by walking, albeit crouching a little, and avoiding any dry brunches that could give away my presence or movement. If I were to try to crawl in a place like this, I will make as much noise as a literal pack of bears.

Also, I am a fucking idiot!

Why had I forgotten that I had shadows, which, besides being sharp, could also be used to gag those shit-gremlins?! That, and tear people’s nostrils apart.

On the second goblin I did test this idea and my new weapon.

A step, and the shadow cast in the pale moonlight (or rather what little of it penetrated through the thick tree crowns above) rises and grabs its owner by the throat, covering his head with a sack of pure blankess.

A step, and the goblin reflexively pulls his hands to his face, trying to tear away the piece of night that suddenly wants to kill him. He tries to scream, but only lets out a barely audible squeak.

A step, and the shadow tensed even more, forcing him to throw his head back. I might have been able to break his neck that way, but the risk of making a noise that way was too high. So, in one motion, I thrust my weapon into the green-skinned bastard’s chin before he could get it together.

The blood, that seemed [censored] in the moonlight, remains on the dagger, on the hand that holds it, and on the shadow that gained substance and form in the material world. I lowered the body carefully, trying to be as quite as possible, lest God forbid I wake up the rest of the crowd. There are nearly a dozen of goblins here, and if they attack together, they'll overwhelm me in droves, regardless of how short they were or who had the stat advantage. Even three of them are too much for me, I think. I can fight off two at once, but three would multiply me by zero in no time.

Therefore, I had to be quiet. As quite as humanly possible.

I walk to the outermost sleeper and use the same technique. Cover him with a blanket of shadows (this time I took the shadows from the tree-crowns), not allowing him to create any sound, and then with two strikes I pierce his neck and chest. Zero noise, maximum efficiency. I waved away the system message that popped up in front of me, and moved on to the next patient.

I'm quite a doctor! My specialization is curing green little shits of living, won’t show the certificate though.

According to all cliches, something must have gone wrong and I would have had to overpower my opponents in an uphill battle, losing litters of blood and giving inspiring speeches for no reason. Luckily, I wasn’t actually living in a book, cliché didn’t dictate life, and so everything went well. Sixteen goblins died quietly and peacefully, simply ceasing to be and never waking up. Considering what I went through because of them, I now want to bring them back to life, just so I could murder them again.

By dawn my hands were up to my elbows in blood, and not figuratively. The stone knife had no hilt nor the proper handle, so all the blood from the slit throats poured down on me. I felt like a goddamn butcher in a slaughterhouse.

I had to go to the river and rinse myself in one of the most seen-through places, never taking my eyes off the water. I was cold, exhausted, and almost shat myself when a crayfish bit my finger, but I still washed up properly and even cleaned my clothes, which were already stinky. I was either very lucky, or that monster that I saw swallowing the goblins was an isolated case, rather than a regular inhabitant of the local depths.

After cleaning myself up, I began to look through the trophies, which were quite plentiful. Alas, despite the quantity, the quality of these very trophies was extremely low. Beads, bone amulets of incomprehensible nature (they had no magical properties), some meat, which I threw away without even looking, clothes made of hides, which I did not touch, and weapons. I took only the weapons and the best ones at that - a spear with the tip made of barely tempered iron, and a dagger belonging to the same dead goblin that had sixth level. It was a good dagger, it was also made of stone, but seemed closer to something like an obsidian. At least it was sharp, and I could feel a bit of magic in it.

The system responded to my attempt to understand what I held, showing a message: The Goblin Dagger is a poor weapon of common rank, enchanted by a skill-less shaman to be sharper and stronger, causing its rank to be above simple trash. More than suitable for cutting vegetables.

Admin, you motherfucker, I'm gonna use the skill from the ring! I'm a psychopath, look at the pile of bodies behind me to confirm, and the voices in my head are telling me to rip and tear! Why the fuck are you mocking me, huh!? Who do you think I am, a clown?!

Okay, breathing in and out, let's try to calm down. Moreover, the dagger is really not so bad. Perhaps even the best weapon in my arsenal. That’s saying a lot about my arsenal, and nothing good at that, but we all gotta start somewhere.

Before I headed downstream, I finally decided to deal with the levels, and raises in skills I'd gained overnight. Truth be told, it should have been done from the beginning, but it was hard for me to decide to take that step. In a sense that I was, well, a bit disturbed. You know, the first kill, gallons of blood, then having to massacre sleeping people, and all the other joys of being isekaied.

My stat screen was a joy to behold, as the characteristics and skills had grown quite a bit overnight. Seriously, almost as much as in a week of training! And that's for one battle, in which I practically did not strain myself. Apparently, this is the System's way of encouraging me to take part in active combat. Well, or another undocumented effect of the Hero title.

So, what do we have here...

Name: Constantine

Race: Human

Level: 4

Titles: Hero; Silent Assassin

Characteristics Points: 15

Class Points: None

Characteristics (standard):

Strength: 13

Dexterity: 21

Endurance: 11

Perception: 19

Concentration: 9

Energy: 23

Characteristics (class):

Shadow: 3

Dreams: 1

Inspiration: 2

Class: Lord of Shadows

Rank: 1

Basic characteristics: shadows, dexterity, perception. Abilities:

Abilities:

Shadow Control: 2/5

Allows you to control the shadows in your field of vision, giving them tangible physical embodiment; shadows can turn solid with certain limits.

Shadow Sense: 0/5

[undisclosed]

Bonuses:

Shadowborn: stealth skills grow five times faster; in case of danger, shadows will shelter you as their brethren.

Dexterous: Dexterity grows faster.

[undisclosed]

Class: Master of Dreams and Reflections

Rank: 1

Basic characteristics: dreams, concentration, perception

Abilities:

Create a dream: 1/5

Allows you to control the dream you are in, with limited influence on the passage of time.

Send a dream: 0/5

[undisclosed]

Bonuses:

Dreamer: social and magic skills associated with the class grow five times faster; no one has power over your dreams but yourself.

Undeterred: the concentration grows faster.

[undisclosed]

Class: Mystic Alchemist

Rank: 1

Basic characteristics: inspiration, perception, energy

Abilities:

Creating a compound: 1/5

Allows you to create alchemical compositions from available reagents by instinctively understanding the creation process

Reagent breakdown: 0/5

[undisclosed]

Bonuses:

Understanding of the essence: the ability to see and, with reservations, understand magic in things and reagents; all craft skills related to alchemy grow five times faster.

Attentive: perception grows faster.

[undisclosed]

Special:

Limit of Excellence (from the title ‘Hero’): raises the maximum limit of natural characteristic growth to 50 (Now: 60), accelerates trainability and increases the amount of experience gained.

Hero's Will: Thought-affecting skills ranked below your class have no effect.

Hero's Gaze: allows you to see a certain amount of information about others; depends on your level.

Mythic: Limit of characteristic development raised by 10 (Now: 60), allows you to choose three classes at once.

Silence in the hall (rare; from the title ‘Silent Assassin’): active skill that completely mutes sounds in a small area. Duration and area of effect depend on user’s level and energy value.

Skills:

Provocation: 1 (apprentice)

Running: 6 (apprentice)

Stealth: 24 (journeyman)

Swimming: 5 (apprentice)

Alchemy: 21 (journeyman)

Herbalism: 15 (journeyman)

Fishing: 13 (journeyman)

Spear Mastery: 3 (apprentice)

Infiltration: 13 (journeyman)

Danger sense: 2 (apprentice)

Deathstroke: 11 (journeyman)

Dagger Mastery: 16 (journeyman)

All in all: not bad. Especially compared to the time when I was swimming down the river on the fallen tree! I have grown, matured, look, even got a new title! Not even some useless one, but something with an active ability. That ability, by the way, would have come in handy tonight, because with it I wouldn’t have to worry about goblins accidentally waking up from the noise.

But why did I get the title? As I understand it, those things are not handed for free, even to Heroes. Well, maybe heroes kind of get them easier, but not every time they sneeze! I mean, I understand that it was quite an adventure for me considering my level, but could a certain issekai hero even get a title for just killing a small group of goblins?

As it turned out – yes, if the killing was done creatively. The title of ‘Silent Assassin’ was given for eliminating more than ten opponents of equal or superior level. The condition turned out to be either killing them in their sleep or before they could raise the alarm. In theory, this is not the easiest task, since the enemy must be equal to you, and a dozen equal-leveled opponents can quite literally tear the unlucky assassin apart with their bare hands, not even reaching for their weapon.

But for Heroes especially those with 'silent' classes, this task is quite feasible even at low levels. Grind the characteristics without raising levels, develop stealth and go for the very same goblins. As a result of said endeavor you get a tolerable assassin with a rare skill. Calm down Costik, you're not Marty Sue, at least not yet.

But you have to become one.

It’s either that, or you will die, Kostik.

After sitting for a few more minutes to collect my thoughts, I was ready to go. I couldn't bring myself to continue dwelling in this place. The blood seemed to soak the soil. Blood that I myself had shed. I didn't regret it, and I wasn't going to shed a tear for the band of cruel cannibals, but I wasn't going to stay here any longer than necessary. I didn't want to bury the pile of corpses, and predators would surely come for the meat I'd left behind.

So, let's hit the road.

As I was about to leave, I saw a leather sack bag lying next to one of the goblins. It was stinky and disgusting, but it was better than nothing. Sighing, I headed to the river, though a little away from where I washed the blood away, and get to work on the laundry. I even spent some of my own handmade compounds to make sure that I killed the smell.

After applying running water and a bit of alchemy the bag looked less disgusting. After wringing it out and drying it, I sprinkle it with another compound. The powder is odd, a curiosity of sorts. It’s the sort of thing that isn’t really useful in any way immediately, but you still can’t find it in yourself to throw it away. The gray dust easily absorbed a huge amount of water, becoming something like lumps of water-soaked cotton. It took the moisture out of the washed bag too, though not completely.

I took one last look at the place that provided me shelter and headed down the river.

The road to adventure awaited me.

I did not distribute my characteristic points. If my limit for developing these characteristics is sixty points, then I'd rather develop them naturally first, and only then use what I’ve saved up. It may sound stupid, but that’s what I decided upon. It’s not like I was going to search for trouble and rush in battle on the first opportunity.

I mean, if at least I could raise the class characteristics with those points, like, say, shadow, I’d consider it, but class characteristics couldn’t be raised with them.

Class-specific characteristics could only be developed by practice.

It seems the easy part of my adventures came to an abrupt end, and problems came instead. The first thing that happened, were my sneakers literally breaking apart. The cheap boots could not withstand the abuse of traversing such a thick and wild forest for too long. My clothes too, are slowly but surely deteriorating, as they were torn by bushes and branches. I tried to take the easiest and best routes, this task was easier because of my high dexterity and perception, but sometimes there was no alternative, and I had to push through places that tore my clothes apart.

The next problem that was becoming more and more obvious, is that the forest I was advancing through started to look more and more like a swamp. And I really didn’t want to go further into the swamp that was already up to my ankles, to the point that I felt like wailing in desperation. But there were angry goblins behind me, so I had to suck it up and advance, using my spear as a pole to tap the bottom of the ground in front of me.

The swamp did not miraculously dried up at any point, but the river I was walking along slowly disappeared, merging with the swamp and seemingly feeding itself into it. I'm no geographer, but this fact seemed abnormal to me. However, I could sense that there was magic in the swamp a little bit of it, but it was noticeable. There was magic, but no way to fish that I could think of, forcing me to stock up on said commodity in advance. But there was plenty of herbs to choose from that grew everywhere, and plenty of good ones at that. I barely had the time to collect and sometimes even use compounds I just created. The worst moment was when I managed to create the concoction, which temporarily increased dexterity by five points. I made it, and lost it just a second later. The mixture turned out to be a liquid after I shaped the ingredients, and because I lacked the test tube of any kind, it leaked instantly, right through my hands…

I imagine at that moment I was swearing like a carpenter who accidentally nailed his own dick to a board.

A couple of hours later, I almost died, purely by my own idiocy: I was too tired, too exhausted, too inattentive, and a dozen of other ‘too’ factors came into play too. The result was predictable: I fell right into the mire. After that I reflexively tried to flail around, only speeding up my descend into the depths of the bog. Thank boobs that my brain didn’t shut down, and instead of a panic attack, I remembered about my mythical class.

The trees weren't very far away (it's certainly not normal for a swamp to be right in the middle of the forest!), and with my outstretched hand I managed to catch one of the nearest shadows of a tree-bark. Even though it was noon, which in addition to making me sweat like a pig, made all the shadows practically non-existent, I managed to drag myself to safety, leaving behind my valet with the rest of my fire-starter money and the most valuable herbs, that, and my spear.

Isn't that just fucked up?

I had to get myself together and go back to the native goblins, who at least were a known factor, and who could be killed if you hit hard enough. The only things I had left on me were a lighter (I checked, it still worked), a fountain pen that was a birthday present and still wasn’t used since I was transported here (I thought about preparing a fish with it, but honestly, as long as I had a knife, even if it was a keychain originally, that would be just idiotic), and a goblin dagger. I fed my keychain to the abyss too, by the way. I would have sown there the harem-builder's ring as well, but luckily, I physically couldn’t lose it.

Holy fucking shit I hate the swamps so goddamn much!

Finding my way back was much more difficult, even though I managed to make a normal wooden pole. The process of creating it involved a young tree, a knife, a materialized shadow, a lot of curses and pure, distilled hatred. The pole made my advancement much more bearable, and during the second day of my starvation - all the fish I had prepared sank along with the bag - I managed to get back to the river.

I bathed feeling only delight, and completely ignoring the risk of being eaten. Honestly, I doubted anyone would have even considered me as a snack, as dirty as I was, the sheer smell of my body made that mosquitoes and flies drop dead mid-flight, no alchemical repellent needed.

As soon as I climbed out onto dry land and turned in the direction of all the few possessions I had left, I came face to face with Winnie the Pooh's elder brother. A noticeably elder brother.

What was the bear doing so close to the swamp, and my cloth, that reeked like a sumo-fighter’s socks which weren’t washed for a year, and what attracted his attention to begin with – is a mystery. Maybe he thought it was a dead and decomposing body, so he considered eating it? Honestly, no clue.

The important thing is that that the bear was here, and he's fucking huge.

“Wait-wait-wait! Slow down over there fellow, I'm not a loli! Fuck off I said!” My voice, in spite of the tempering my character received in the last few days, broke down a bit, and only by some miracle didn't turn into a squeak.

I also realized clearly a few things. First of all, this particular Pedobear was at least partially intelligent, and secondly, he knew the meaning of the words I said. Either the local language thing somehow helps even the animals to understand each other, or this individual specimen is really too smart for his own good.

Have you ever been in a position, when a giant bear, standing on two feet, is advancing towards you? The bear that was much, much taller than you? Have you also heard it letting out a terrifying, heart-piercing growl that made you want to drop your weapon, curl up in a ball, and call for your mother?

My life was once again saved by the Hero title, which prevented the mental influence from taking over. A second ago the incarnation of Hell was coming at me, hungry for my blood and soul, and then the world shuddered and I calmed down sharply. There was just a bear next to me now. A big, scary, deadly bear, but still just a bear.

With the battle cry of a cat that had his balls sawn of by a rusty knife, I moved forward, and my shadow moved too. I'd never put so much power into them at once, never put so much effort. The shadow net, a real one this time, covered the Baloo, wrapping around him and pinning him to the ground. I stepped behind the perplexed beast's back, not hesitating for a moment, and began to thrust the blade into the vulnerable points on its body. The ears, the throat, the base of the neck, the armpits (It made a mistake when it decided to stand on two legs), the groin… I acted with precision and so methodically, that I was surprising myself.

A bear is not a goblin. A mere shadow won't hold him, as he successfully proved, tearing the materialized tendrils of blackness apart with the fury of a berserker. But shadows are not strings, and it's not so easy to sever them permanently. While you tear one tendril, the other two have already fused together.

The emptiness in my chest was becoming truly excruciating, but I held the beast in place, continuing to stab it. In fact, the bear was already mortally wounded, but if he broke free now, he would be riding on top of me to the bear-heaven. And I am not his fucking horse!

Deathstroke: 12 (journeyman)

We fell to the ground at the same time, the bear finally dead, and me bleeding from my nose. I felt surprisingly okay, despite the terrible loss of energy. I mean, I wasn't feeling well, but I wasn't really feeling anything that concerning. I was spent, but in a manageable way.

But there was a series of system messages flashing before my eyes, among which was sure to be a level up and, if I interpreted the feeling correctly, another improvement in my ability to control shadows.

That was very good news, as was the fact that I survived and my enemy did not.

But I'll look at my accomplishments a little later.

Because, you know, I've always wanted to see what bear heels taste like.

If you don't know how to cook them and have only one obsidian knife as the gutting tool, the taste is pretty much ruined. And I had to wash of a lot of blood again.

But this meat still tasted like victory!

* * *

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