Chapter 40: Envious Precious Memories

At first the only thing Sehn felt was the hard, cold floor on the back of his head. Dizziness and confusion overwhelmed him, stirring together and blending with his dreadful headache to create a nauseating cocktail of disorientation. Sehn pulled back his eyelids just a bit, thankful wherever he ended up was dark. He opened them slightly more, and his blurry vision made out wavy grey lines. He felt the beginnings of fear. He opened them even more, and his location was undeniable. The grey lines were steel bars—Sehn was inside of a dungeon.

“Fuck!” he growled. “Somehow I always knew I’d end up spending the rest of my life in a place like this…but still! How dare someone imprison the Great Sehn! When I discover who’s responsible, I shall…I shall…I shall explode in a burst of Godly fire and brimstone!”

“Keep it down, willya?” said a man’s voice. Sehn leapt to his feet, and cleared the blurriness from his vision. Lying down with a content, and comforted look, was a middle aged Human with black graying hair and hazel eyes. What was odd was how happy he looked. He smacked his lips, lolled his tongue, and then rolled over, making himself comfortable, and yawning.

Only the grogginess prevented Sehn from fireballing him on the spot. “Did…did a mere mortal just tell Sehn to ‘calm down?’”

“A mere what?” The man sat up, leaning into a sitting position. The cell was dark, illuminated by nothing more than a few slowly melting candles. There was a rotten smell to the place.

The man stretched and yawned, before dusting off his worn pants and coming to his feet. “I’m in a good mood,” he said. “This time, I remember everything!”

Sehn didn’t know what the man was rambling about, and he didn’t care, either. He was far too furious at being locked away. He should’ve known something was wrong after his head got wobbly following his sixth glass of wine. There was a small crack at the top of the back wall in the rocky dungeon. Based on the position of the few visible stars, Sehn knew the sun was only moments from rising.

Then it hit him. Everything. Sehn remembered the fire, the city-ordinances war, and his final humiliating act of self-inflicted harm. Much to his embarrassment his skin prickled with cold fear. Cah’lia was going to be pissed! And he’d been so close, too. Another few minutes and they would’ve walked out of the mayor’s home with riches in hand.

The Human walked over, throwing an arm around Sehn’s shoulder and giving him a pat on the back. Normally, Sehn would become enraged at someone touching him with such presumed kinship, but he was paralyzed with worry. What was Cah’lia going to do to him? And why did they throw him in the dungeons?

“I heard what ya did, rookie,” the man said. “Although, I must admit I’m quite impressed. I’d give it a seven out of ten, you know?”

Sehn shook his head, trying to clear his mind. “What in the Gods are you on about, Human?”

The man looked shocked. His lips opened in a wide ring, and he rolled his eyes. “Why, your drunken performance, of course! The name’s Marshall, Elf. Alan Marshall…and drinking and making a fool out of myself are my passions in life. I’m what you’d call an expert in drunken idiocy.”

Sehn replayed the words in his mind. He had literally no idea what this ‘Alan Marshall,’ was talking about, but one thing stuck out to him. “Just who do you think you’re calling a ‘seven out of a ten,’ mortal? Everything the Great Sehn does is an infinite out of ten!”

Alan removed the hand from Sehn’s shoulder and sat back down on the cold dungeon floor. “So, you think you’re the best at everything, do you?”

Sehn nodded. “Yes.”

Alan nodded along with him. “I believe you, Great Sehn, well, almost. I’m sure you’re the best at everything in the world. Except,” he said, his eyes glowing with pride. “When it comes to drinking. When it comes to intoxicating yourself beyond what is acceptable or tolerable, I, the Great Alan Marshall, am the undisputed best.”

Sehn threw his hands to his empty scabbard. “Draw your blade, Human! Ah, I mean, when we get them back,” he finished in a mumble.

Alan didn’t appear to be concerned by Sehn’s threats. “I don’t care how great you are,” he said. “I once drank so much that I literally ruined history. Your Elven Princess Saerina visited my Kingdom’s capital to sign a treaty that would have brought in a new dawn of prosperity, and I ruined it by shaking my rump in her face and barfing over her dress.”

“I-Is this true?” Sehn gasped. He wanted to be angry at the man, he knew that he should be, yet hearing of how he mistreated that insufferable princess took the breath out of him.

“It’s a hundred percent true, Elf. Getting drunk is awesome—it’s the finest pleasure in life. I don’t remember the event myself, it’s one of my biggest regrets, but I was able to get a hold of the document detailing the crime. Let me just say,” Alan held up two fingers, forming them into a circle, “it was suh-weet.” Alan titled his head back and exploded with laughter, his breath reeking of alcohol. “I got the princess but good.”

Against Sehn’s desires to slaughter the man, he sat on the floor next to him and laughed along. “I’ve got you beat, Human-fool. I know this princess as well. I once told her she’s a bitch in need of a fireballing. It’s true! I, the Great Sehn, was all like—‘according to my calculations, you’re a bitch in desperate need of a fireballing.’ No one knows this, but I once put a frog in her traveling pack, oh, and one time I farted in her tea.”

Alan’s laughter turned maniacal, and within a few moments the two of them were lying on their backs quivering with giddy laughter. Sehn knew at that moment the man was worthy. “I have just decided that you have been granted the most honorable and prestigious role in the known universe. The role of ‘friend.’ Henceforth, you shall be known as friend of Sehn, and the name shall grant you protection in all of your travels. Now, tell me about some other hilarious things you’ve done.”

Sehn and Alan spent the remainder of the early morning trading stories of wondrous deeds. Sehn liked the Human—he seemed like a kindred spirit. Sehn liked Alan so much, that he even agreed to trap Alan’s soul in hell for only two million years, instead of the normal eight all others would face once Sehn conquered the nether realm.

“So this one time, right, I was really, really, drunk,” Alan began. “And there was this, umm, small bar owned by a kind little family. I had one too many, which, in my view is one too few. So I’m knocking back drink after drink, one after another, and I start getting into this really cool drunken rage. The bartender, he tries to cut me off. So get this. Okay, are you ready, Great Sehn? Are you ready for it?”

Sehn shook with anticipation. His voice became high pitched like a squealing girl’s. “Tell me, tell me!”

“I left the bar and went to my horse, right? So I told my horse, Lucy was her name, that if she did me a little favor she could have all the wine she wanted. Let me tell ya, no one liked a drink as much as good old Lucy—died of liver poisoning last year, the poor thing. So anyway, I got on her back and made her jump through the window. I was naked, of course. Being drunk is only fun naked. So there I was riding through the bar naked on top of my horse, and we scared the Gods out of all the customers, it was great. Then Lucy crapped all over the floor. Good times.”

Sehn clapped his hands in approval. “A wonderful story my new friend! As your reward, the Great Sehn shall tell you a tale of his own.”

Over the next few minutes Sehn told Alan how he defeated the Drashian Overseer, how he planned to conquer the universe, and overthrow the Gods. Sehn was fascinated by the Human. Finally, there was someone who agreed with him on things. Alan nodded along to each of Sehn’s tales, and Sehn found himself enjoying the Human’s stories as well.

“And I told her,” Alan laughed, fumes of foul smelling alcohol trailing his breath. “If you want me to stop getting into fights with wild grizzly bears, then stop making your ale so damned powerful!”

Sehn applauded. “Ah, we must break free of this place and head to a bar immediately. I must drink with you, my new friend.”

“Now you’re talking, Great Sehn.”

The small talk continued for some time after. Sehn and Alan bounced questions off of each other, and laughed and applauded at each other’s responses.

“So, what is it you do, Alan?” Sehn asked. “I’m curious to know what role my new friend plays. You had better be a man of power. The Great Sehn does not take kindly to weak mortals.”

Alan’s face beamed with pride. “When not intoxicated, I’m a commander for the Kingdom’s armies, and the best at what I do, as hard as that may be to believe. What about you, Sehn? What do you do?”

Sehn sighed. “Ah, nothing much. I rule the universe, keep things in balance, you know…the usual God-stuff.”

There was an approaching clicking sound from the distance, and in an instant Sehn’s ears twitched and his muscles tensed. “Damn,” he whispered. “Trouble is coming, the annoying kind. I don’t know what upsets me more. The actual person who’s on their way, or the fact that I know it’s her just from the sound her feet makes on the floor.”

Alan walked over to the dungeon’s steel bars, gripping them in both hands and poking his ear through. His pupils grew large and his face drained of color. “Oh dear,” he said. “There’s two sets of feet, not one, and I know who the second belongs to as well…”

“Don’t tell me,” Sehn growled. “You’ve got yourself an annoying woman that tries to tell you what to do?”

“Wait, you too!” Alan said in disbelief. “I can’t believe it.”

Sehn swung his head around the room, looking for some way out. “We need to get out of here right away. I shall return for vengeance and justice later, but for now we need to escape. I’m in no mood to deal with the insufferable Cah’lia.”

“That makes two of us,” Alan mumbled. “Maybe if you boost me up I can grab that window ledge. Then I’ll pull you up along with me.”

“How dare you suggest standing on top of the Great Sehn! No, you shall boost me up, and then perhaps I shall not betray you for your insolence.”

Alan shrugged. “All right, that works too.”

Sehn and Alan hugged the wall, and Alan dropped into a crouch. Sehn leaped on his shoulders. “Hold steady now, Human. I’m going to jump up to the—”

“Sehn!” Cah’lia screeched.

“Alan!” another added.

Sehn froze, his stomach still pressing against the wall. He knew he couldn’t face away from her forever, so with great reluctance he pried his head around and wore his most innocent face, all the while standing on Alan’s back.

Alan shook, and Sehn knew it wasn’t because of his weight. “R-Rebecca,” he gasped. “I can explain.”

Sehn got off of Alan’s back and stood his ground next to him. Cah’lia arrived with a tall, red-haired Human woman. Her posture was straight as a dagger, and despite her rigid face and stern eyes, she was quite beautiful. “Save it, Alan. I’m very disappointed in you.”

Alan danced on his feet, and looked on with gratitude at the thick steel bars keeping the two women out. “I am your commanding officer, umm, you can’t just yell at me like that.”

“You want to bet!” she snarled. She gripped the steel bars in both hands. “You’re going to wish you didn’t sneak off and start another one of your riots.”

Sehn had to admit, the Human woman looked beautiful when angered, but then again, so did Cah’lia. He grinned and nudged Alan in the ribs. “You let these women speak to you like this? Hah! Where is your courage, Alan? I’d never allow myself to be pushed around by mere women.”

Cah’lia pointed. “The same goes for you, Sehn! You knew you’d get drunk if you kept on going, and you did it anyway. Don’t think you’re getting off easy this time.”

Now Alan was the one grinning. “Oh? Tell me again about how you never get pushed around.”

Sehn ignored the Human. He’d show this ‘Alan Marshall’ the proper way of dealing with nosy, annoying females. “Silence!” Sehn commanded in his mightiest voice. “How dare you tell the Great Sehn not to drink! I wanted more, and I had more.”

“You made a fool of yourself is what you did.” Cah’lia’s face became tight, her cheeks reddened, and she shook as she spoke. “I don’t want to hear any backtalk from you. You’re in big trouble.”

Alan chuckled, his slightly pudgy belly rumbling at the sight of Sehn being disrespected. Sehn hissed under his breath. He’d show Alan he was no mere pushover. “Cah’lia!” he roared. “You have now gone too far! For this treachery I have decided to get drunk every day this week, and as your God-Commander I am ordering you to allow my new friend to come along with me. We shall escape from this hell-pit and then make drunken fools of ourselves.”

Cah’lia made a “grr” sound, and grasped the metal bars along with Rebecca. Sehn took a step back, but only because it was cold where he was standing. It’s true!

Cah’lia’s words were spoken in slow, demanding whispers. “You and Alan aren’t going anywhere near alcohol.”

Sehn forced moisture into his lips. “Fine,” he said. “I shall try to be diplomatic here, because I am a benevolent and kind God. As you wish, Alan and I shall go nowhere near alcohol together…but I can still go by myself, right?”

Alan dropped his mouth and clapped his hands to his cheeks. “I thought we were friends! You’ve already betrayed me, Great Sehn!”

“Consider this the first of your many sacrifices.”

The woman, Rebecca, met Cah’lia’s eyes and the two nodded. “I’ve made a nice new friend on my way here,” Rebecca said. “Turns out, we’ve got quite a bit in common. More than either of you two idiots realize. Neither of you are going anywhere except for where we tell you, and neither of you will speak back to us. From here on out Cah’lia and I expect your obedience, and you two will give it to us.” She inhaled, and with a commanding military-like shout she addressed them. “Do you two understand!”

Sehn turned to face Alan, and the two made eye contact. It only lasted a moment, and within seconds they were laughing uproariously.

“I’m a commander of the Kingdom’s army, and you are but a first lieutenant. You can’t tell me what to do!”

“And I,” Sehn continued. “Am the Great Sehn! Who do you think you are, Cah’lia? Come, Alan Marshall, let us be out this bitch. I found a spot yesterday that had fine ale. Perhaps we can—”

The laughing stopped immediately when the dreaded jangle of metal resounded in the air. Alan and Sehn watched in horror as Cah’lia removed keys from her pocket. “Yes, boys,” Rebecca said. “We had these all along. Only, we originally thought we’d make you beg to get out of here. Apparently, you seem content to stay inside. Well, in that case we’re coming in.”

Sehn and Alan backed into the corner of the dungeon in unison. Sehn moaned when he hit the rocky wall, there was nowhere left to go. The steel bars slid open, and Cah’lia and Rebecca entered at a slow, menacing walk.

“Be reasonable now, Rebecca,” Alan pleaded. “Or Great Sehn and I will have to hurt you.”

“Bring it on,” she said, punching a fist into an open palm. “I warned you what would happen if you got yourself drunk again.”

“And I,” Cah’lia added, cracking her knuckles, “told you I’d beat you silly if you didn’t behave yourself.”

Sehn didn’t know what to do. The two women advanced on him and his new friend. Sehn was at a loss for ideas. He knew he couldn’t defeat Cah’lia in a fist-fight—as much as it grated him—she was simply too agile.

“I don’t get it,” Alan said. “How did you two get the keys in the first place? Why are you even here? At least tell me that much before you knock my teeth out.”

Rebecca’s face maintained the look of terrifying fury, but she lowered her lip and pointed an elbow at Cah’lia. “Cah’lia and I met each other in the mayor’s office, and it was a stroke of luck, too. I wonder if either of you have any idea just how fortunate it is we met. Alan, this woman knows Prince Patrick. She knows many things, things that you need to know as well. She has a signed document by the prince himself, guaranteeing the Kingdom’s aid. However, due to Sehn’s behavior the mayor doubts its authenticity. That’s why Pumpus threw him in the dungeons, at least until he gets the matter straightened out. Now, this is where I come in. You might be a commander, Alan, but you’re still accountable to Kingdom law. You were thrown in this dungeon for your lewd acts. So I, and the lovely Cah’lia here, struck a bargain. I used my power as first Lieutenant to validate the document, and Cah’lia used the document to set you free. Everyone wins this way.”

“Wait a minute,” Alan said. “The document was signed by Patrick? Are you serious?” Rebecca’s anger diminished. Sadness filled her eyes.

So, Cah’lia had told her, had she? Sehn wondered if Cah’lia mentioned how they’d abandoned the man, left him to die while they fled like cowards for their lives.

It wasn’t my fault, Sehn thought. I did it for Cah’lia. I’d have stayed.

Rebecca closed her eyes as she spoke. “Patrick is dead, Alan. He’s dead, and the army is marching here…to Hahl!”

Alan changed. His posture became straighter, his look less haggard and more firm. Before Sehn’s eyes he transformed into a different man entirely. There was an air of nobility about him now, a commanding and rigid presence. Even his brown worn-out and ragged clothing did little to remove the feeling of confidence coming from him.

“Tell me everything,” he said. His voice was no longer playful—it was course and powerful. “I have the feeling there’s a few things we need to be sharing with each other.”

Sehn grinned. “I believe I’ve just made myself a powerful new disciple.”

Cah’lia stepped forward, coming face-to-face with Sehn, while Rebecca did the same to Alan. “You’re right,” Cah’lia said. “There’s a lot of stuff we need to talk about. But first…”

Before Sehn could react, Cah’lia pulled back her fist, and then slammed it into his face. Sehn’s jaw shook with the impact, and he was knocked off his feet. At first Sehn thought he hit the ground twice, until he realized the second thud was Alan falling beside him. He’d been dealt the same justice.

Cah’lia looked down at him. “That was for such a ridiculous ending to an otherwise lovely night,” she said. Then her eyes became soft. She leaned down and pulled him to his feet with surprising strength. For a moment Sehn thought she was going to kiss him, right there in front of his new friend. Instead, she pulled him in and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. “And this is for how far you made it.” She planted a kiss on his cheek, and then pushed him back against the wall.

In one of the most humiliating discoveries Sehn had ever made, he realized he secretly wanted a real kiss, one that was like the other times. The thought tore at him, it was shameful. To make matters worse, Cah’lia teased him. “That’s all you’re getting until you learn to behave yourself.”

“Hah! Like I would want your disgusting lips over mine.” Sehn crossed his arms and stood defiantly.

Alan was back on his feet, unfazed by the swelling forming under his right eye. If anything it made him look fiercer. “We ready to talk?”

*******

Ghell looked behind him, and for what seemed like the millionth time, he thanked the Gods he picked the right side. The army seemed endless—there were thousands upon thousands of soldiers clad in black. This was only a portion of their force, too. Ghell wondered where the man with the dreadful hawk-mask managed to assemble all of these people. As far as Ghell knew there were only three Human factions. There was the Kingdom of the Seven Pillars, the Sons of Frith, and of course the Free-Mountain Drashians. Yet, as far as he knew the men and women marching to deal out death hadn’t come from any of these places. So, where were they from, then?

Ghell knew he should feel at least some pity for betraying the lands that bore him, but when dealing with such uncountable might, what choice did he have? No, he made the right decision. All it took to embolden his resolve was a cursory peek back at the earth-shaking force under his command.

Things needed to proceed smoothly. This would be the most significant battle the army’s faced yet, and if Ghell failed he’d be tortured for years before they allowed him to die. Not that he’d ever allow himself to get caught—if things didn’t turn out well, Ghell would be sure to take his own life far before any of the hawk-man’s creatures put their paws on him.

“Hold!” Ghell commanded. This part always fascinated him. First, the seventeen generals came to an abrupt stop, turning around to face the eight thousand mounted archers and lancers following in rows behind. The rumble of galloping horses ceased, replaced by the sounds of men shuffling in armor as they about-faced. The soldiers marching in the rear halted soon after, and where only a few minutes earlier the deafening noise of an approaching army drowned out all other sounds, there was now an unsettling quiet.

Three of the hawk-man’s generals approached. “Why have we stopped?” one of them asked. “Explain yourself, commander Ghell.”

Ghell wanted to slit the man’s throat for his insolence, but such a thing wouldn’t do. He was only given control of a tenth of the overall army in an attempt to prove himself, and he needed to make good use of every last man. Sacrificing a general would be no different than sacrificing himself.

“We’re one day from Hahl. I wish to make sure our champion is doing well. Bring him to me, I want to inspect him.”

One of the generals raised his hand into the air and signaled. Three men leapt off their horses and ran to the back of a wide carriage. Several moments later they pulled on chains attached to a large wooden cage. A partially naked man sat with his legs folded in the center of it. His eyes were closed, and his short brown hair dripped sweat onto the valley floor.

Ghell pointed at one of the men pulling the chains. “Has he eaten?”

“Yes, my Lord, we have seen to it personally. If he’s needed, he’ll be ready to kill.”

Ghell knelt before the cage and knocked on the wooden entrance. “Hey, wake up. Show me your eyes so I can make sure you’re not getting the mania.”

The man’s lids peeled back. He had cat-like eyes, narrow slits that allowed an equal amount of both sly wit and barely contained rage to seep through. “I’m fine,” he whispered. “Wake me up when it’s time to kill.” His eyes closed following his final word.

Satisfied, Ghell stood from his crouch and hustled back to his mount. “Resume march!”

There was an almost sadistic glee in the atrocities he was going to commit. Ghell was born in Hahl, and now he was going to destroy it. Rather than feel any guilt, he felt his crotch harden at the thought of the coming bloodshed.

It’s probably why he picked me, Ghell thought. I do love the sound of screams.

“Yah!” Ghell kicked the horse in the stirrups and led his army forward. Steadrow-Pillar was but a mere outpost compared to Hahl. The city was going to be a major victory.