Frank had explained earlier that the backdoor wasn't intended for significant mobilization purposes. Jay was listening enough to get the gist of what the Spook had observed at the backdoor.

For two regular people, not including Dennis's large frame, they could walk shoulder-to-shoulder with little space leftover. The action figures didn't have such luxury. Their bodies were wide, awkward in shape, and had limited flexibility compared to a person.

The first action figure met the business end of Dennis's colossal sword and was stopped dead in its tracks. A gaping wound ran across its boxy chest as the menacing toy robot beeped and blared in alarm.

While Dennis reset, Frank darted forward and bashed the creature in the head, taking its attention as Dennis swung again for the fences, hacking deeper into the robot's plastic flesh.

The blow stumbled the monster back into the next attacker, slowing it and the others trying to file out. The first robot toy fell to the ground savagely. Its brethren willingly stomped on anything interrupting traffic.

"[Mana Manipulation], [Manapusher], Star Shot," Jay recited from halfway up the stairs. A split second later, a buzzing, sparkly beam of light pierced through the second attacker come up and melted its chest. The laser reached the third, burrowing its way out the back, and stopped on the fourth, hollowing the toy's chest into melting slag.

"I can't use that too often!" Mike warned.

"Then pick your shots wisely!" Frank yelled over the ding of his poleax, finding its mark on the next series of attackers.

With toy bodies clogging up the bottom of the backdoor, the attackers tripped on their way out or slowed down to select their steps carefully. Frank took every advantage and swung with the viciousness of a young man with a big chip on his shoulder.

He broke arms, cracked jaws, and stunned even the most muscularly looking action figures with a whack. He used the ax or hammer part of his pole weapon to slam home his point: the action figures would find hell with each attempt to exit the doorway.

Because Frank was setting them up for Dennis, the superjock timed his swings to dunk on the attackers with one or two mighty blows from Ogre Hunter.

Attacks from the quick and stunning pole weapon stole the monsters' attention. Then Dennis's sword found its mark, even if it wasn't an accurate one. He carved through shoulders and into the chests of his targets. He'd cleaved most of the way through their waists. He killed with crushing Strength and the edge of a hunk of metal nearly bigger than him.

"I just leveled!" Dennis shouted.

"Throw those points into Strength," Mike advised from his perch above. "I got you covered."

Dennis and Frank backed off as Mike shot down another Star Shot on steroids. This time he burned through four in a row and superficially melted the fifth. The collapsing bodies of dying action figures clogged up the backdoor even further. The next wave of attackers had to crawl awkwardly over their dead compatriots.

Frank and Dennis had time to take a breather. They looked at Jay.

"What?" Jay asked, his arms and swords hanging limp at his sides.

"Are you just going to wait there and do nothing?" Dennis huffed.

"It's not my time yet," Jay explained.

"Fine," Frank said. "Come on, Dennis, let's get the job done."

It wasn't long before Frank hit Level 4. Even then, he didn't stop fighting to deal with his profile. He accomplished both simultaneously, becoming noticeably faster and more impactful with his hits. Every whirl of his poleax made a whooping sound through the air before finding a mark that thumped plastic flesh or cracked apart toy bones.

"Back off for me, please," Mike requested.

Dennis and Frank were happy to oblige.

The [Fighters] looked exhausted when they rejoined Jay. Their time to rest was plenty, with melting monster corpses clogging up the backdoor. Since it took time for them to decompose into goop, the still-living attackers struggled through the muck. It was like trying to wade through a knee-deep quagmire.

"It's about time I use another wand spell," Mike announced. "[Mana Manipulation], Solid Stars."

Jay looked up and caught Mike extending his wand arm beyond the staircase bars and rails. A wide, cascading shower of sparks and light poured out of the magical instrument.

It arced over the [Freak] and [Fighters'] heads and splashed into the doorway. Half of it poured in, and the other half washed against the walls. Soon as Mike stopped shooting out Solid Stars, the spell solidified into a shimmering and bumpy wall. Just another obstacle to slow the militia.

"I always thought you'd be a neat finish, Mike," Jay said over the din of struggling toys, "but I wasn't aware of this side of you. Is this what you do with your anime girl collection back home?"

"Wait, what?" Mike asked.

"But hey, there's a bunch of girls who like it messy anyway! Just try not to get it in their hair, man!"

"I know saying this is pointless, but can we save the dirty thoughts when we're not facing an army of evil toys," Mike pleaded.

"He has a point, Jay," Dennis said, leaning on his sword while he recovered Stamina. "I bet we have to face an army of evil cat girls before Mike starts thinking dirty."

"I don't even like cat girls!" Mike yelled.

"He's more of a dragon waifu type of guy," Jay explained. "Preferably with a mixture of scales and skin. So you can tell they're racially exotic without going too far into being a furry."

"So, different than Donkey and the Dragon in the Shrek movies?" Dennis asked, sounding serious.

"I don't think Mike is that far gone." Jay shrugged. "But even as his number one homie, I can only know so much. He might still surprise me."

Dennis paused and seemed to contemplate the matter deeply as Mike sputtered on a response. Frank looked at them like they were the worst degenerates ever.

The Action Figure Militia interrupted the philosophical issue of cat girls versus dragon girls and the dividing line between the racially exotic and the furries by creating another door.

Sharpened claws tore open a gaping wound in the wall. The claws quickly shredded away the plastic material to reveal a frenzied, cat-looking female action figure. At the same time, a few action figures started to crawl through a growing gap in the backdoor. Mike's spell started disintegrating into motes of blue-white lights that faded into the air.

"Don't worry, Mike, it's my fault for jinxing this. I'll take one for the team!" Jay shouted, engaging the cat girl action figure.

"I hate you so much right now," Mike said, using his signature Skill-Spell combination to laser down five action figures crawling out of the original doorway. They fell into melted fiery goop.

Dennis and Frank repositioned at the new hole in the wall. Besides the murderous cat girl toy, the hole was barely big enough for the smallest action figures. The [Fighters] took turns playing whack a mole when something poked its upper body out. All the exits were covered between the [Fighters] and the [Mage].

Jay hadn't felt needed until a particular case like the cat girl cropped up. The other action figures were more Strength-focused and plodded forward without any complexity or creativity. They were also Level 4's and 5's that wouldn't pose too much of a challenge. But Jay's dance partner was largely different.

[Identifying]: Cat Girl Mauler Toy, Level 8–She's as playful as she's deadly. Once she's set on hunting you, her outstanding agility, super-sharp claws, and nimble movements will have you crying like you spilled the milk. It's unfortunate for any Rank 1 dungeon crawler to face a professional newbie slayer like this one.

The mauler slowed into a captivating saunter once she separated herself from the others. Her slinky, light movements displayed flexibility and nuance in her joints that the other toys lacked. If she hadn't ripped her way through the wall, she could've sneaked up on Jay's party and done horrible damage.

Out in the open, she made her way toward the stairs with a sultry walk. She eyed Mike like she wanted to turn the [Mage] into a chew toy.

Jay walked casually to intercept her. The action in the background faded from his worldview.

The mauler snapped her head around and watched the [Freak] get closer. He moved like he was following a trail in the park when a friendly cat appeared in his path. There was no hostility in his movements. He even started to hum a tune before breaking out into song.

Beat it.

The mauler's mouth unhinged and revealed a predatory smile of sharp teeth. She lunged at Jay faster than any monster had the right to be.

Jay barely avoided the attack that would've divided his face like ham under a deli-slicer machine. He backed away from the follow-up slash by an inch, keeping his neck to himself.

He kept singing, making his dodges look like it was part of a choreographed dance. As if it was an easy thing to do. In reality, Jay was one mistake away from total disaster. She was faster. Stronger. An absolute monster.

But Jay could play with gravity no matter the situation.

He used [Moonwalker] delicately to evade backward, the air in front of him a whirlwind of near misses as the claws swung for his face. When he sensed the stairway coming up behind him, he spun away from the mauler and faced the structure.

Predictably, the mauler sprung like an excited cat, her claws aimed for his back. She gave him the strongest shivers he'd ever felt as if he had made a horrible tactical mistake. His commitment to the wall-run and backward flip paid dividends.

The mauler smashed face first into a crossbar, her reaching claws slipping through the gaps. Jay completed his flip with a glowy-purplish aura tracing behind his heels and stomped down on the monster's back. A burst of magic separated them.

The mauler smashed her face into the bar again, shaking the stairwell. Jay dropped back to the ground under normal gravity. He anticipated a need to change directions quickly with all his weight down. The mauler proved him correct when she whirled around with a blindingly fast swipe.

Jay's cheek bled profusely, the wound hurting like half of his face was on fire. It took a lot for Jay to keep singing and making bold moves. Anything less would kill him and ruin his party, which added even more weight on Jay's shoulders.

The [Freak] set an angle toward the staircase again. He would have to get around the mauler first. She saw that problem and wanted to leverage it by cutting Jay off. She fell into his trap.

Jay's body shone with neon purple light. He tried to flip gravity on them with [Dance Floor Relativity]. It felt like he grabbed something slippery with a magical hand⁠—his purple aura. The mauler might've gotten away if she had higher Poise and had avoided [Grav Kick].

But nobody wrote that in the stars for her.

Jay manhandled her magical defense, putting her under his power. He sent them both hurtling toward the stairs. The mauler splayed her arms and legs to catch herself from falling between the crisscrossing bars.

A [Grav Kick] to her chest smashed her through. She dropped into a hard crash on the solid wall–floor below.

Jay dropped the goblin sword in his left arm as he cartwheeled. He latched onto a bar with his open hand and used it as a fulcrum. He pivoted through an opening between the support bars.

Battered and bruised, the mauler bared her fangs as he landed gracefully in a crouch nearby. She wobbled to her feet and hands, unsure of the wall–floor under her. Then she braced herself for another pounce.

The [Freak] returned them to gravity's usual embrace.

The mauler reacted better this time, twisting midair to land on all fours. She was a split-second too slow to dodge a third [Grav Kick] delivered to her face.

The magical neon-purple drop kick busted her face open and rocked her hard. Teeth clattered down the low steps they were on. The mauler fell down the same way, landing in a heap at the bottom.

She floundered around like a living puppet that needed strings to operate partially. It was a disturbing thing to watch.

Jay went in for the finish.

He slashed aside a reaching arm with his goblin sword. He did the same to the mauler's other arm. His in-and-out movements, accurate, perceptive timing, and goblin sword's design for damaging limbs thwarted her lethargic attempts to fend him off.

She still had some fight in her, though. But Jay worked on her patiently. He punished her uncoordinated retaliations and kept singing Beat It.

Eventually, he damaged her arms too much for her to lift them.

Appearing to sense her oncoming demise, the mauler morphed her face into a resemblance of fear, submission, and vulnerability. Her plastic ears flattened against her scalp as her eyes opened to cartoonish levels. It was akin to what cat owners recorded and submitted all over the internet when their feline babies did something they knew was wrong.

Jay had seen plenty of those videos, always finding them cute and funny.

He still took the mauler's neck.

"Sorry, but the spot for team mascot is filled already," Jay said between gasps, leaning against the support beams wearily.